I am so sorry you are upset. I am sure he is a great person and really did not mean it. To be honest I would not be happy if I stepped in poop-- and if I could blame it on someone else I am sure I would vent.
You have received a lot of good advice. I am for crate training a puppy, with positive reinforcements. I am on dog #4-- and it is not fun but if you hang in there it will work out. One of my guys was my daughter's and she couldn't keep him so he was a bit older when we got him. I ALMOST gave up on him a few times... I don't think he was really trained until he was about 2 (a lot older than most... don't worry). But I would not give one of my kids away so I won't give up on a furkid.
Hey--- if winter is so hard for you -- move near me
Honestly..... good luck, don't give up, TALK to dh when you are not as upset and you both can be calm.