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Old 06-02-2009, 09:59 AM   #1
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Default I have a Big Problem, and am in a Dilemma!! What should I do??

I am finding myself in an unexpected dilemma!
I have to calmly think about what to do.
My Dad was hospitalized a few weeks ago and needs an aortic valve replacement and without it has no more than two years to live. He already had a Quadruple heart bypass surgery in the year 2000. Right now his heart failure is acting up, short of breath etc.
My mom had said it is NOT an emergency to come see him (I had planned on visiting later in the summer after my son was out of school and when Macho.. my new puppy was bigger)
WELL my sister calls yesterday saying my Dad is not well at all, can barely walk etc. and if I want to see him alive then don't wait until July or whatever.
My sister is a nursing assistant.
So I call my mother and Dad just now and talked with them for about an hour.
My mom still says it's not an emergency to come now. My Dad talked to me and was able to talk okay.. he didn't sound really out of breath. I'm a nurse so I can tell when someone is distressed in breathing.
My Daughter (age 26) and my SON age 28 are going to visit him NEXT week on wed and come back on sunday.
From California to Arizona and want me to drive with them.
Of Course I want to go.
There is nothing I'd like better than to go with my kids to see my folks!
HUGE PROBLEM
my Macho was only born on Memorial Day the 25th of May.
next week he will be 2 weeks old
I don't know what to do!
Can I leave my Dam and her puppy alone in her whelping room all day for 3 days?
My husband would be home in the evenings to let Lola out in the yard to get fresh air and a break.
The way it is now I am here 24/7
Most of the time she is in there with her pup (a singleton)
but I take her out for frequent breaks .. to pee in the front yard. run around a bit with my other dog Opie. Or if her pup is sleeping she comes out and likes to sit on my lap and get luvins'
She is a very attentive mommie so I am not worried about that.. but I just worry about her not being able to get breaks during the day.
My set up is a large clear tote. The two of them always lay in there.
She has a door she steps over to a large exercise pen area. she has pee pads in one area.
Food and water bowl in another area.
she also can get out of the exercise pen area.. I leave the door open. The door to room is always shut because of other dog and 2 cats in house.

The other option would be for me to take Lola and her puppy With me. In a crate. She is VERY used to being in a crate in the car with me. I take her with me a LOT.
It would be an 8 hour drive to my folks house
So I do not know if it would be MORE stressful for her to be in her whelping room and wondering why no one is coming to let her out?
Or more stressful to bring her in her crate?
Lola is very attached to me.. ugh!
IF I left her home.. then Opie (my shih tzu) would have to stay outside in the pen all day till my husband go home.
That should be okay.
It is totally fenced, shaded and Right by my front door.
The Cats I guess could free roam the house OR be secured in the laundry room while my husband is gone during the day
I JUST adopted these cats UGGH
Like 5 days ago so they are also adjusting.
They free roam the house during the day. (large house)
At night I put them both in the laundry room. its a big room
They both have their ends and there is a big window in there they can sit on the ledge and look out.
Not sure if they should free roam when I am not there because the 4 month old kitten I am trying to train her not to jump on the kitchen table and other areas LOL.
The Third option is to just Wait on visiting my Dad until Macho is older.
Then I would have to travel alone without my kids but that would be okay.
Then I would have an OLDER puppy to either leave home or take with.
In some ways it would be better to leave him home now when he is still just laying up with mommie.
Soon I will have to be training him to go into his own pee pad area and stuff. Like in 2 weeks?
Please help.
Also my son will have to miss 3 days of school but I dont really care about that because he is *ahead* in his kindergarten abilities LOL.
I want to see for myself what shape my Dad is in .. not sure if my mom or my sister is to be believed
UGGH!@
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Old 06-02-2009, 10:12 AM   #2
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My goodness poor you , what a situation. You must feel you are being pulled in all directions.
Personally I think you should see your folks as soon as poss. I think if something bad happens to your dad and your not there you will feel real bad.It is a toughy as you have a lot of commitments to your animals. It sounds like you have a lot of support from your DH and kids, so im sure you will come to the right decision.
Hope all goes well with your dad. Sending hugs.
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Old 06-02-2009, 10:17 AM   #3
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Thats so hard! LOTS of hugs...

My aunts father just passed away this weekend and didnt go see him while he was sick. Personally... i dunno how anyone could wait. So from my experience... going is a MUST! For your own sanity and in case he doesnt have that much time left.

If your just traveling to another house, I would definitly just bring them with you!

Im so sorry about what you have to go through! its so hard when family is sick. Lots of prayers and blessings...
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Old 06-02-2009, 10:24 AM   #4
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my mother got everyone a cabin last october for 3 days 2 nights i think..then my yorkie got pg and had puppies the a week or two before we were leaving...i was worried but its not like the puppies were moving very well and i knew everyone would give me a really hard time about not going..so i had my neighbors come by and check on them and my sister inlaw so i would say every 5 hours some one peaked in on them until 10pm and it started again in the morning around 7

im sure a lot of breeders wouldnt agree
but all was well

moms do a good job taking care of babies without us
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Old 06-02-2009, 10:52 AM   #5
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Confused

Well I called my husband and he reminded me that my boy's kindergarten graduation is Thursday morning.
Uggh .. of course I Totally forgot about that.
So my hubby said no problem he could take care of the animals.
I do have a neighbor here so maybe I could ask her to let Lola out a couple times a day for a romp.
I didn't even think of that! (thanks for the suggestion)
I am sure she will do it.
So my son and daughter are driving out Wed morning at 6 AM.
My hubby has suggested that after Ben's graduation which is at 10 AM on Thurs then I can FLY out alone.
My son and daughter can pick me up at the airport.
I can drive back with them if I want.
So I think that is good.
I will be gone one less day.
So that is what I am going to do.
My mom said it wasn't an emergency but I do want to go.
I also plan on going Again this summer for a longer more leisurely stay with my little boy.
So I will go now for a short and sweet visit and later for a longer visit

My hubby says I can take my son with me OR he will watch him too.
Hmmmm
now that is getting VERY tempting LOL
So I just have to decide if I am taking my 6 year old with me. I am thinking I won't this time (will be very hectic with all of us going and I want to focus on my DAD)
I will bring my son on the next trip.
Which won't be very long from now.
Now I just have to get hold of my daughter (can't reach her) to tell her I can't leave with them on Wed.
Unless they want to wait until Thursday after Ben's graduation then we can all drive together.
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Old 06-02-2009, 01:31 PM   #6
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Sounds like all is falling into place. I think it's great your able to get away this time without so much distraction and you can just enjoy visiting with your parents. I just wanted you to know I'm sending prayers your way.
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Old 06-02-2009, 01:53 PM   #7
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I'm so glad you're going. If something were to happen you would live the rest of your life with regrets. My next door neighbor is dealing with that now. So very very sad. I think leaving your 6 year old with hubby is a good idea until you find out just how serious your Dad is. It may frighten him. Have a safe trip!
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Old 06-02-2009, 05:29 PM   #8
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Thanks everyone for your well wishes.
I really Really don't think he is That bad off .. after having talked to him today.
I asked him and my mom straight out! If I thought he had taken a turn for the worse I would (by now) be on my way.
I still want to go.
My mom said it wasn't an emergency. I told her that my sister said it Was. My mom said "well that was before when he went to the hospital"
I told her "no, she called yesterday LOL"
So .. it's best I go and see for myself. Who knows maybe he HAS worsened and my mom is in denial.
My Dad sounded pretty good on the phone though.
I already bought my plane ticket.. and Yes I decided to go alone.
So I can focus without distraction on my parents.
I hope and pray he can just improve from this rough patch in order to get his surgery.
My husband is taking Thursday off and is either going to take our boy to work with him LOL (he is self employed) or else family will keep him one day.
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Old 06-02-2009, 05:42 PM   #9
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good luck hope your dad get ok.what a sweet hubby
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Old 06-02-2009, 05:44 PM   #10
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Let me tell you, I have been thru this with my parents and still going thru it. It is rough. My Mom always makes things sound worse and my Dad is always so positive. He is the one with the heart problems. He has congestive heart failure. He got an ICD about 7 yrs ago. I just want you to know that no matter how much pressure other people put on you, you must do what you feel you need to. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Keep us informed
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Old 06-02-2009, 06:09 PM   #11
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I'm glad that you were able to come up with a plan to be able to see him now, and then in July as well. I know that if something were to happen you would have regrets if you didn't go, so being with him will be good for you and you have an excellent husband who will make sure everything is ok on the homefront. I also wanted to let you know I will keep your father in my prayers, I too had a situation with my father where he was in failing health and there were some times when we were told to get to him asap because he might not make it. The sadest part is one of those times will be the last time My thoughts are with you and your family
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Old 06-02-2009, 06:30 PM   #12
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So glad you can go it will be good for you & your dad. sorry he is sick



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Old 06-02-2009, 06:51 PM   #13
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I am glad things are working out. I will keep your Dad in my prayers
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Old 06-02-2009, 08:01 PM   #14
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I'm glad you decided to go. Life is short and we really never know. Sounds like you have a good plan and all is well! Praying your Dad is OK, and it's just a nice little visit. BTW.. Have a safe trip!
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Old 06-03-2009, 12:34 AM   #15
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Im so glad you are going to see your parents. When my dad died in 2000, we kept telling my sis who lives in michigan that she better get here. Well, she waited to late, what made it even worse for her was he died on her birthday. My prayers are with you and your family.
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