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Mom2Lulu · 03-30-2009, 07:39 PM

If the boyfriend is as controlling as you think he is, then Bella is a reminder of your daughter's ex-boyfriend, and he may be wanting to rid himself of that reminder...controlling people do some crazy things. For that reason alone, I would not let her take Bella.

Bella belongs to you. There is no room for discussion on this. Stand firm and do not feel like you have to "explain" ANYTHING to her. You do not have to PROVE Bella is yours. She just is.

My son brought home a mixed pit pup. I wasn't happy about it, but acquiesed. I won't make that mistake again. The dog made a wasteland out of my backyard, and I am an avid gardener, so that was particularly difficult for me. Additionally, he was on a lead staked in the yard, because we don't have a fenced in back yard. I hate staking a dog. I also had 3 chickens, who were my pets. I came home one day from running errands and the dog had wriggled out of his collar, gotten loose and broke into my chicken pen. He killed my beloved Jasmine, and injured Dumpling. I was devastated. There were feathers all over my yard. I called my son, 17, and told him to come get the dog. It had to go. If he couldn't find a home for it, I could take him to a no kill shelter. I am a real softy, but on this, MY needs came first. He tried to procrastinate and even got his father (my ex) involved. His father told him he would take the dog, then a week later backed out, and told ds he would help him build a pen for the dog at my house. I did not relent. I gave him a time limit, and told him if his dad told him he would take the dog, then he needs to man up and follow through on what he said. The dog is now with his dad.

I am so sick of people not taking responsibility for their actions. I have learned with my children that sometimes the best lessons are the ones they learn the hard way.

You know, it is OKAY that you want to keep Bella because you have grown to love her and have been her caregiver. You need to tell your daughter that her irresponsibility over the last 15 months where Bella is concerned (and a hit or miss bag of dog food doesn't count) has made her unqualified to take care of Bella. And, you, as a mother are qualified to make that judgement.

Now, about this whole baby thing. If you do not put your foot down with Bella, you can bet the next thing that will be dumped on you is a baby. If you look at it that way, the decision is easy. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's the way I see it.

03-30-2009, 07:39 PM	#64
Mom2Lulu Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 74	If the boyfriend is as controlling as you think he is, then Bella is a reminder of your daughter's ex-boyfriend, and he may be wanting to rid himself of that reminder...controlling people do some crazy things. For that reason alone, I would not let her take Bella. Bella belongs to you. There is no room for discussion on this. Stand firm and do not feel like you have to "explain" ANYTHING to her. You do not have to PROVE Bella is yours. She just is. My son brought home a mixed pit pup. I wasn't happy about it, but acquiesed. I won't make that mistake again. The dog made a wasteland out of my backyard, and I am an avid gardener, so that was particularly difficult for me. Additionally, he was on a lead staked in the yard, because we don't have a fenced in back yard. I hate staking a dog. I also had 3 chickens, who were my pets. I came home one day from running errands and the dog had wriggled out of his collar, gotten loose and broke into my chicken pen. He killed my beloved Jasmine, and injured Dumpling. I was devastated. There were feathers all over my yard. I called my son, 17, and told him to come get the dog. It had to go. If he couldn't find a home for it, I could take him to a no kill shelter. I am a real softy, but on this, MY needs came first. He tried to procrastinate and even got his father (my ex) involved. His father told him he would take the dog, then a week later backed out, and told ds he would help him build a pen for the dog at my house. I did not relent. I gave him a time limit, and told him if his dad told him he would take the dog, then he needs to man up and follow through on what he said. The dog is now with his dad. I am so sick of people not taking responsibility for their actions. I have learned with my children that sometimes the best lessons are the ones they learn the hard way. You know, it is OKAY that you want to keep Bella because you have grown to love her and have been her caregiver. You need to tell your daughter that her irresponsibility over the last 15 months where Bella is concerned (and a hit or miss bag of dog food doesn't count) has made her unqualified to take care of Bella. And, you, as a mother are qualified to make that judgement. Now, about this whole baby thing. If you do not put your foot down with Bella, you can bet the next thing that will be dumped on you is a baby. If you look at it that way, the decision is easy. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's the way I see it. __________________ Live, Laugh, Love!