My "friend" got a puppy & I lost a friend - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

gkathleenw · 03-03-2009, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilMissy

[F Sans MS]You absolutely did the right thing. With 5 little puppies at your place and no vacc's done yet..you may have just saved their lives (or hundreds/thousands of dollars in vet bills) by not allowing her over. If she was any kind of a friend, she would understand that and not WANT to put your puppies at risk, or her own for that matter! I know that it was probably hard for you to set your friend straight, but sometimes people need to hear those kind of things. Obviously noone else was telling her! Maybe just send her a text and say, "I'm sorry if I upset you, but I only said what I did because I CARE".[/FONT]

Thank you! I probably will send her the text..... Im just not really sure if I want to be friends with someone so immature.... I'll have to think about if its worth it.

spr377 · 03-03-2009, 09:41 AM

I think what you said was perfectly fine. If she is a true friend, she will understand where you are coming from. I agree with you, that you might not want to be friends with someone that doesn't take pet ownership seriously!

Potter · 03-03-2009, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gkathleenw

Thank you! I probably will send her the text..... Im just not really sure if I want to be friends with someone so immature.... I'll have to think about if its worth it.

I think you are doing the best to protect your puppies. I would have done the same. You should probably text her though as someone else mentioned. It is good to keep a friend if you could. Sometimes friendships just go through rough patches. She'll soon find out that taking care of a pup is a lot more than just talks and may need you around. I like to give people the benefit of the doubts. Maybe she did listen to you but once she saw the puppies, she couldn't hold it inside and got the pup regardless.

LilDaysha · 03-03-2009, 09:57 AM

You were completly right about telling her not to bring that pup over. You dont know a thing about that puppy. What if he's sick or something and then give it to ur babies.

DianaB · 03-03-2009, 09:58 AM

If you want to keep this girl as a friend why don't you go to her house and see the puppy? Maybe you could give her a few hints about how to care for her little one. I'm sure that she probably has lots of questions. Then you can wash up and change clothes when you get back home to your own little ones.

LDandPasquale · 03-03-2009, 10:02 AM

I think you did the right thing for your puppies. I have a feeling she'll be calling you soon though...especially when she has LOTS of questions about her puppy and is ready to pull her hair out. And just cause you're in Illinois doesnt mean you dont have any friends....YOU HAVE ALL OF US !!!

If you need me to call you and text you everyday til you're sick of me...just let me know LOL

Yorkiekids · 03-03-2009, 10:12 AM

I wouldn't have let her bring the dog around my pups either. I think it might be a good idea if you offered to go over her house, and see her pup. She's probably really excited, and wants your opinion on what you think of the puppy. It's to late to preach to her anymore, but maybe you can give her a few pointers.

MollysMum54 · 03-03-2009, 10:15 AM

You did the right thing. At the end of the day, we all have to protect our own babies first.

blueeyes_jd · 03-03-2009, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LDandPasquale

I think you did the right thing for your puppies. I have a feeling she'll be calling you soon though...especially when she has LOTS of questions about her puppy and is ready to pull her hair out. And just cause you're in Illinois doesnt mean you dont have any friends....YOU HAVE ALL OF US !!!

If you need me to call you and text you everyday til you're sick of me...just let me know LOL

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!! lol and I LOVE how you said the highlighted area... your sooooooooooooo funny!!! anyone would love to have you call and text them every day and they wouldnt get sick of you!

lol

missPenny · 03-03-2009, 10:21 AM

If she is a good friend of yours, then she should expect the truth from you. Knowing that you are a breeder, one would think your friend (should she truly have the best interests of the puppy at heart) would consult you in this matter or, at the very least, listen when it comes to vet care. It makes me wonder just what exactly her intentions were when getting the puppy, aside from the obvious itch we all suffer! If she were really thinking long-term, you would think she would have absorbed at least some knowledge and care information from you during the course of your friendship.

I sure hope this poor baby doesn't end up neglected or abandoned.

Wabbit · 03-03-2009, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DianaB

If you want to keep this girl as a friend why don't you go to her house and see the puppy? Maybe you could give her a few hints about how to care for her little one. I'm sure that she probably has lots of questions. Then you can wash up and change clothes when you get back home to your own little ones.

I completely agree....if this girl is a good friend to you....then protecting your babies is priority...but then secondly I don't see why you didn't offer to go to her house....That probably wouldn't have hurt her feelings as much.....had you said something like that....then again..maybe you did...and you just neglected to mention that part..

I know ALOT of people mean well here on YT.....but sometimes TACT is necessary when trying to help others...the fact is that your friend ALREADY got the pug...so your "Speech about proper puppy purchasing" was only a slap in the face...if you didn't care much for her friendship than maybe what you did was percectly aceptable...but in the real world even BEST friends need to be loving with each other....while saying what they mean...Good luck!

gkathleenw · 03-03-2009, 10:40 AM

Very True Dianab & Wabbit! And I did mention that after she takes the puppy to the vet, I would go to her house and see her. I am just a nervous reck when it comes to my babies and hearing all the terrible stories about parvo, I didnt want to take the chance of coming in contact with it and bringing it home to my pups.

I mentioned this earlier, but I recently moved to Illinois and have only been friends with her for a couple months...... Everything happens for a reason, so maybe it wasnt meant for us to be friends. But than again, who knows.... she could truly need my help in a week or so and of course I would be there for her.

Epsilon · 03-03-2009, 10:49 AM

I think you were completely right for not letting her puppy come over. However, I have a feeling that your email about impulse buying and not doing what you said was probably pretty harsh. Like you said, she's a first time dog owner and got excited and DID impulse buy. But it probably really hurt her feelings for you to be hard on her. I don't think it's fair to assume she'll be "over the excitement of a puppy". We were all first time owners at one point... and we didn't get over the excitement.

I would email her and apologize for being a little harsh about her decision to get the pug. Tell her you'd love to come over and meet her baby, but that you stand firm on not allowing the pug to come to your house. She could probably use a lot of pointer from you since she's a first time puppy owner and trying to train the little guy.

viviansnickers · 03-03-2009, 10:55 AM

Awww...we all know you meant the best for everyone and esp your pups. I think the text idea is great. I have come to witness that MANY dog owners know squat about properly caring for an animal. I always find myself getting on my soap box about things I learn on here. Some people are interested and some are not. I can honestly say that I did not know much until coming across YT (thank goodness!) Let her know you would like to come see her pup. She may be a friend you need in the future as well, just like she needs you right now (even if she is not admitting it and contacting you.) Sounds like an impulse buy, but we can't expect everyone to have common sense, sometimes not even friends!!

Sway Says · 03-03-2009, 11:09 AM

Okay I'm goign to give you advice as if you were my friend and I knew you personally. I'm a straight shooter so this is what I'd say...

Your girl needs all the help she can get. I mean, I didn't know anything about dogs and don't say now that I do, but I do a lot of research and reading to find out what I need to know. Well, you know that your friend hasn't done any research and is going to need a lot of help. Your help. Reach out to her and go visit her puppy. Give her some kind advice if she needs it. Don't judge her. She made a mistake and I'm sure that on some level she realizes that. But right now she really needs your support.

So what I'm saying is you should be glad she didn't take one of your puppies since she has no idea how to care for a dog. But since she has a dog you can work as her resource for making sure that the little girl is raised properly.

If you go with her non judgmentally then she would hopefully accept help. If she doesn't, it's not your problem. Continue your friendship the way it had been, but don't mention the dog.

It's only a problem if you let it be.

03-03-2009, 09:41 AM	#17
spr377 Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Upstate, NY Posts: 2,015	I think what you said was perfectly fine. If she is a true friend, she will understand where you are coming from. I agree with you, that you might not want to be friends with someone that doesn't take pet ownership seriously! __________________ Piper Leo Baby Piccolo

03-03-2009, 09:58 AM	#20
DianaB Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Fredonia, KS Posts: 755	If you want to keep this girl as a friend why don't you go to her house and see the puppy? Maybe you could give her a few hints about how to care for her little one. I'm sure that she probably has lots of questions. Then you can wash up and change clothes when you get back home to your own little ones. __________________ Diana and Reuger Take time to laugh. It is the music of the soul.

03-03-2009, 10:02 AM	#21
LDandPasquale YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Massachusetts/Florida Posts: 2,614	I think you did the right thing for your puppies. I have a feeling she'll be calling you soon though...especially when she has LOTS of questions about her puppy and is ready to pull her hair out. And just cause you're in Illinois doesnt mean you dont have any friends....YOU HAVE ALL OF US !!! If you need me to call you and text you everyday til you're sick of me...just let me know LOL __________________ LD that's me and Pasquale "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is definitely not for you!"

03-03-2009, 10:12 AM	#22
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	I wouldn't have let her bring the dog around my pups either. I think it might be a good idea if you offered to go over her house, and see her pup. She's probably really excited, and wants your opinion on what you think of the puppy. It's to late to preach to her anymore, but maybe you can give her a few pointers. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

03-03-2009, 10:21 AM	#25
missPenny & Riley-bear, too! Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 1,259	If she is a good friend of yours, then she should expect the truth from you. Knowing that you are a breeder, one would think your friend (should she truly have the best interests of the puppy at heart) would consult you in this matter or, at the very least, listen when it comes to vet care. It makes me wonder just what exactly her intentions were when getting the puppy, aside from the obvious itch we all suffer! If she were really thinking long-term, you would think she would have absorbed at least some knowledge and care information from you during the course of your friendship. I sure hope this poor baby doesn't end up neglected or abandoned. __________________ My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dogs think I am. Mommy to Penny and Riley.

03-03-2009, 09:57 AM	#19
LilDaysha Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Bronx Posts: 321	You were completly right about telling her not to bring that pup over. You dont know a thing about that puppy. What if he's sick or something and then give it to ur babies.

03-03-2009, 10:15 AM	#23
MollysMum54 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: England,UK Posts: 1,176	You did the right thing. At the end of the day, we all have to protect our own babies first.

03-03-2009, 10:40 AM	#27
gkathleenw YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Illinois Posts: 261	Very True Dianab & Wabbit! And I did mention that after she takes the puppy to the vet, I would go to her house and see her. I am just a nervous reck when it comes to my babies and hearing all the terrible stories about parvo, I didnt want to take the chance of coming in contact with it and bringing it home to my pups. I mentioned this earlier, but I recently moved to Illinois and have only been friends with her for a couple months...... Everything happens for a reason, so maybe it wasnt meant for us to be friends. But than again, who knows.... she could truly need my help in a week or so and of course I would be there for her. __________________ Bailey Winston R.I.P. Daisy May Last edited by gkathleenw; 03-03-2009 at 10:42 AM.

03-03-2009, 10:49 AM	#28
Epsilon Donating YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 477	I think you were completely right for not letting her puppy come over. However, I have a feeling that your email about impulse buying and not doing what you said was probably pretty harsh. Like you said, she's a first time dog owner and got excited and DID impulse buy. But it probably really hurt her feelings for you to be hard on her. I don't think it's fair to assume she'll be "over the excitement of a puppy". We were all first time owners at one point... and we didn't get over the excitement. I would email her and apologize for being a little harsh about her decision to get the pug. Tell her you'd love to come over and meet her baby, but that you stand firm on not allowing the pug to come to your house. She could probably use a lot of pointer from you since she's a first time puppy owner and trying to train the little guy. __________________ Leanna and Epsilon http://llofte.wordpress.com/

03-03-2009, 10:55 AM	#29
viviansnickers Snick&Viv= BFF Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,755	Awww...we all know you meant the best for everyone and esp your pups. I think the text idea is great. I have come to witness that MANY dog owners know squat about properly caring for an animal. I always find myself getting on my soap box about things I learn on here. Some people are interested and some are not. I can honestly say that I did not know much until coming across YT (thank goodness!) Let her know you would like to come see her pup. She may be a friend you need in the future as well, just like she needs you right now (even if she is not admitting it and contacting you.) Sounds like an impulse buy, but we can't expect everyone to have common sense, sometimes not even friends!! __________________ -Vivian Mommy to my cuddlebug baby boys-Snickers & Reesie

03-03-2009, 11:09 AM	#30
Sway Says Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Durham Posts: 45	Okay I'm goign to give you advice as if you were my friend and I knew you personally. I'm a straight shooter so this is what I'd say... Your girl needs all the help she can get. I mean, I didn't know anything about dogs and don't say now that I do, but I do a lot of research and reading to find out what I need to know. Well, you know that your friend hasn't done any research and is going to need a lot of help. Your help. Reach out to her and go visit her puppy. Give her some kind advice if she needs it. Don't judge her. She made a mistake and I'm sure that on some level she realizes that. But right now she really needs your support. So what I'm saying is you should be glad she didn't take one of your puppies since she has no idea how to care for a dog. But since she has a dog you can work as her resource for making sure that the little girl is raised properly. If you go with her non judgmentally then she would hopefully accept help. If she doesn't, it's not your problem. Continue your friendship the way it had been, but don't mention the dog. It's only a problem if you let it be.