Wording... - YorkieTalk.com Forums

tammys · 07-02-2009, 06:55 AM

Disclaimer: I am NOT trying to start trouble, but this has been weighing on me.

I understand how experienced breeders can get upset about situations that they know can end in disaster. My issue is how things are worded very often.

We cannot hear the tone of your voice. It could be empathetic or it could be chastising. And when someone feels backed up against a wall, he/she will not hear what you're saying, however helpful it might be. They will just get defensive, and all the knowledge you have to share won't be heard.

Yes, things need to be said, but I wish people would think about how it might sound to someone, especially someone who is scared and worried about a breeding situation. That person needs the facts (good and bad, worded with respect), support, and to be able to feel that she/he can post on here without feeling attacked.

Just my .02, for what it's worth.

BamaFan121s · 07-02-2009, 07:05 AM

Your same concern has been voice time and time again. If I get the jist of this and similar concerns, it's not what is said, it's how it is said. Kind of sad that people making serious decisions regarding the lives of their dogs can't look past the "tone" (or just ignore it) and focus on the value of the information being shared instead of trying to over analyze things and concern themselves too much on whether someone was "nice enough" with their answer. You are right...you can't always determine the intent behind someone's words--but that rule goes both ways. If people should be more considerate of how they post, then equally those reading it should be more considerate of how they interpret it. To me, many times the "you were rude with your answer" line is nothing more than a tactic implemented to distract attention from one siutation to another, or "throw the heat off", so to speak.

Unfortunately, it's the "it's not what you said it's how you said it" mentality that has been and continues to be a huge contributing factor as to why many of the well seasoned, respected breeders refuse to post here at all anymore. (Which is a point that has also been brought up on more than one occasion.)

Sugar's Mom · 07-02-2009, 07:30 AM

[QUOTE=BamaFan121s;2696300]Your same concern has been voice time and time again. If I get the jist of this and similar concerns, it's not what is said, it's how it is said. Kind of sad that people making serious decisions regarding the lives of their dogs can't look past the "tone" (or just ignore it) and focus on the value of the information being shared instead of trying to over analyze things and concern themselves too much on whether someone was "nice enough" with their answer. You are right...you can't always determine the intent behind someone's words--but that rule goes both ways. If people should be more considerate of how they post, then equally those reading it should be more considerate of how they interpret it. To me, many times the "you were rude with your answer" line is nothing more than a tactic implemented to distract attention from one siutation to another, or "throw the heat off", so to speak.

Unfortunately, it's the "it's not what you said it's how you said it" mentality that has been and continues to be a huge contributing factor as to why many of the well seasoned, respected breeders refuse to post here at all anymore. (Which is a point that has also been brought up on more than one occasion.)[/QUOTE]

you are right and right now, I really am not in a mood to worry about how anyone reads what i wrote on the other thread. Some people just need to go to walmart and get a stuffed animal. I am so tired of threads like the two or three I have read today. There is just no excuse. i know the old arguement of everyone has to start somewhere keeps coming up and yes that is right but there are those people that have researched for years before letting two unaltered pets together and even if it was an oops, they should have known better. I know I am in a bad mood today and am not going to post anymore on any of these threads but know this, I am one of the very few experienced breeders left on this board and I spend countless hours on the phone trying to help sincere people. So understand that I am not just trying to be rude or unfeeling. it gets very old at a certain point.

tammys · 07-02-2009, 07:36 AM

Oh my gosh, this is so long - sorry about that. It will seem longer than normal, b/c I put lots of spacing b/w paragraphs for easier reading.

That is sad that it has been voiced again and again. I imagine that there will not be a situation where everyone will be happy, so this is probably a mute point.

I absolutely agree: questions can be very confusing, frustrating the person answering it.

I think the interpretation confusion comes from not being able to hear the tone of the person. The OP may be scared or worried (depending on their situation), and their nerves are often raw after dealing with days of guilt, analyzing, etc.

And, you are right, we need to careful in how we interperet the tone - it's just hard to do sometimes. I have read something, and thought it was rude; only to re-read it and realize it wasn't so bad. I will admit to being very sensitive and getting my feelings hurt easily - not a good thing on such impersonal boards!

I also agree that it would be sad for someone to disregard valuable information b/c they got their feelings hurt. Maybe it's not totally disregarded (it would depend on the person/situation), but my point is that if someone is upset about their situation, they should't be made to feel bad; they came here for help, not to be judged and knocked down. They should know the facts and possibly disastrous outcomes, but those things should be delivered with kindness and support, not judgement.

But, I don't understand why experienced breeders wouldn't post on here. If they are helpful and polite, what would the problem be? I guess maybe they thought they weren't being rude, but were blasted by people who thought they were?

I think it comes down to two different sides:

Breeders and experienced dog owners who are frustrated with ignorance, and possibly terrible outcomes.

Newbies inexperienced with breeding asking those questions and posting about these terrible outcomes - causing the frustration in the breeders.

But I do believe that rude is rude. There is always a nicer way to say things, and it might take more time, but it's so much more pleasant for everyone. It's all in the delivery.

Again, sorry for the novel!

tammys · 07-02-2009, 07:38 AM

[quote=Sugar's Mom;2696336]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BamaFan121s

Your same concern has been voice time and time again. If I get the jist of this and similar concerns, it's not what is said, it's how it is said. Kind of sad that people making serious decisions regarding the lives of their dogs can't look past the "tone" (or just ignore it) and focus on the value of the information being shared instead of trying to over analyze things and concern themselves too much on whether someone was "nice enough" with their answer. You are right...you can't always determine the intent behind someone's words--but that rule goes both ways. If people should be more considerate of how they post, then equally those reading it should be more considerate of how they interpret it. To me, many times the "you were rude with your answer" line is nothing more than a tactic implemented to distract attention from one siutation to another, or "throw the heat off", so to speak.

Unfortunately, it's the "it's not what you said it's how you said it" mentality that has been and continues to be a huge contributing factor as to why many of the well seasoned, respected breeders refuse to post here at all anymore. (Which is a point that has also been brought up on more than one occasion.)[/QUOTE]

you are right and right now, I really am not in a mood to worry about how anyone reads what i wrote on the other thread. Some people just need to go to walmart and get a stuffed animal. I am so tired of threads like the two or three I have read today. There is just no excuse. i know the old arguement of everyone has to start somewhere keeps coming up and yes that is right but there are those people that have researched for years before letting two unaltered pets together and even if it was an oops, they should have known better. I know I am in a bad mood today and am not going to post anymore on any of these threads but know this, I am one of the very few experienced breeders left on this board and I spend countless hours on the phone trying to help sincere people. So understand that I am not just trying to be rude or unfeeling. it gets very old at a certain point.

I totally understand. That's exactly what I thought.

I hope you have a better day - and hopefully you are taking a break from the boards and not reading this until tomorrow!

Mardelin · 07-02-2009, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BamaFan121s

Your same concern has been voice time and time again. If I get the jist of this and similar concerns, it's not what is said, it's how it is said. Kind of sad that people making serious decisions regarding the lives of their dogs can't look past the "tone" (or just ignore it) and focus on the value of the information being shared instead of trying to over analyze things and concern themselves too much on whether someone was "nice enough" with their answer. You are right...you can't always determine the intent behind someone's words--but that rule goes both ways. If people should be more considerate of how they post, then equally those reading it should be more considerate of how they interpret it. To me, many times the "you were rude with your answer" line is nothing more than a tactic implemented to distract attention from one siutation to another, or "throw the heat off", so to speak.

Unfortunately, it's the "it's not what you said it's how you said it" mentality that has been and continues to be a huge contributing factor as to why many of the well seasoned, respected breeders refuse to post here at all anymore. (Which is a point that has also been brought up on more than one occasion.)

I understand exactly what you are saying.

Personally, when I read something that has been posted and it strikes a negative cord within me. I step back and ask myself why? More often than not it's because it is indirectly directed towards me and I need to reaccess what I'm doing. If it doesn't strike a cord then I go on.

Mom2TwoYorkies · 07-02-2009, 08:47 AM

Sometimes I feel the same way as one of the newbies here . . .sometimes I won't post things because I'm afraid of the answers I'll get . . .not that they aren't good answers, it's just the underlying tone of the responses. I'm not a breeder nor any where near experienced what the seasoned breeders have . . .I look up to those who have bred their pups and read about their triumphs and heartaches and study up on things I do not yet fully understand. Yes, I want to breed Rhianna one day to my Brody . .I guess I'll be considered a "byb" but that isn't how I feel . . .I love my furkids with all my heart, I know I've researched and learned by reading and reading and reading . . .I'm still learning . . .my dogs aren't kept in crates in a kennel, they live with me, in my home, under my feet . . .they sleep in my bed . . .they are family . . .they are the love of my life . . .it's not to breed for money at all for me . . .I just have always wanted to do it . . .if we are blessed with pups I know I will find the best homes for them . . .if I cannot, I will keep them . . doesn't matter if there are 2, 3 or even 5 pups. . .

I just wanted to say that I respect you, the experienced breeders, but on the same token, I fear your negativity towards us, the newbies, . . .and I don't like feeling like that . . .

angelakc · 07-02-2009, 09:02 AM

I agree, I think that somethings posted on here sound very rude and mean. I haven't had that happen to me but I do see where it has been done to others. I feel so bad for them and honestly it is uncalled for. I can give my advise without making the other person feel belittled...I found myself also not posting my thoughts because I don't want the bashing. I love yt but some of the people on here are rude and should think about what they say before they say it...

erickajm · 07-02-2009, 05:09 PM

There have been numerous posts that I would have loved to voice my true opinions. I have many times bit my tongue. Other times I have voiced my opinion only to feel that I may have been a bit too harsh. I find it very frustrating when I read some of the posts and it is very hard not to say what I REALLY want to say but in the end it isn't going to help the situation.

I think the majority of people who do post are looking for advice because they know they are in over their heads. It is our job as the experienced breeder to help guide them in the direction needed. It isn't going to help the pregnant dog at all by condemning the person to where three posts later, they are swearing off YT.

Life is full of oops! Just because it is an oops doesn't mean it won't work out. Case in point ~ me... I was an oops and look, you wouldn't know what to do with yourselves if I weren't here!

Mardelin · 07-02-2009, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by erickajm

There have been numerous posts that I would have loved to voice my true opinions. I have many times bit my tongue. Other times I have voiced my opinion only to feel that I may have been a bit too harsh. I find it very frustrating when I read some of the posts and it is very hard not to say what I REALLY want to say but in the end it isn't going to help the situation.

I think the majority of people who do post are looking for advice because they know they are in over their heads. It is our job as the experienced breeder to help guide them in the direction needed. It isn't going to help the pregnant dog at all by condemning the person to where three posts later, they are swearing off YT.

Life is full of oops! Just because it is an oops doesn't mean it won't work out. Case in point ~ me... I was an oops and look, you wouldn't know what to do with yourselves if I weren't here!

I understand what your saying and agree with you. I've most of the time but, not all the time have been compassionate and considerate in how I post. As I've always said and tried to live by the words "I'm not here to alienate but to educate"

However, I do know that a certain thread prompted your post. But, did you stop and think about it this way? That person had been on this board for about a year, and I suspect reading various posts. That person missed a golden oppurtunity when the brother obtained these two yorkies. She could have been the teacher and told him your puppies are approaching the age where the female can be bred and shouldn't. She could have suggested to him that they should be kept seperated until the time they were old enough to be bred and he had more knowledge of the process, or to have them altered

erickajm · 07-02-2009, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mardelin

I understand what your saying and agree with you. I've most of the time but, not all the time have been compassionate and considerate in how I post. As I've always said and tried to live by the words "I'm not here to alienate but to educate"

However, I do know that a certain thread prompted your post. But, did you stop and think about it this way? That person had been on this board for about a year, and I suspect reading various posts. That person missed a golden oppurtunity when the brother obtained these two yorkies. She could have been the teacher and told him your puppies are approaching the age where the female can be bred and shouldn't. She could have suggested to him that they should be kept seperated until the time they were old enough to be bred and he had more knowledge of the process, or to have them altered

You are right. With her being on here that long I'm sure she has read plenty of posts about this type of thing. I don't know if she had tried to warn her brother or not. I had thought several things when I initially read that post. I posted and had to delete my original post in order to take a different approach.

I did wonder why if a person is going to have two yorkies, one of each sex, then why wouldn't they have at least one fixed so that this oops wouldn't occur.
I really believe that in the end it will always depend on the day as to how we respond to each individual thread. There are days that I can throw jokes in, other days that its seems as if every thread started is stupid and I want to tell the OP just that. We are only human and will react that way. Thankfully there are enough of us that when one is at their wits end with certain posts, another will be there to reassure and advise..

justlucas1 · 07-02-2009, 06:49 PM

I started all this... I asked "the" question that is in the Other Thread.
mardelin, i may have "joined " this site last year, However, you are Assuming AGAIN, I Never posted , not Once, I did not "lurk" and read posts... Wow such a neative out look on life and people sweetie... I had not owned a yorkie then and I was Googleing yorkie info trying to decide if I wanted one... This Yorkie Talk came up in the search... I joined because I wanted to know what it, YT was all about. I looked around one or two days, then moved on...
I DID indeed decide to get a baby and LOVE that decision... After I got my baby then my brother got his, because he loved mine.. We lived in seperate states at the time... Ie.. I no longer live in COS, left over 6 months ago... Anyway, my point is guys, I have not been on YT in over a yr and a month. I remembered it last night when again searching Google for help. had to even reapply or whatever to get my password. I Think all Anne is saying is, Why not give people the Benefit of the Doubt? you and Dee seem to just have a Huge Chip on you. I am SO sorry All this hurt got started. I am Not what ALL this Negativity has made me out to be... Wow. I am truly grieved by all this Junk, Gossip,Murmurring. Please go on, I am sorry. If I had any idea... Well
anyway, Mary and Dee I believe, try to think on the Good the Pure and the Lovely... I know, easier said than done and Yes we all get burned by doing that at times. There Are BAD BAD people out there... But please dont let them make you hard or jaded... You might just miss out on a True Joy and wonderful experience... Glass half full girl here.
There is a Lot of love in and around all these posts.... I feel it in how you are all tryin to talk it out. I again am so sorry....

Many Blessings. oh btw Anne, your heart is So Big, what a blessing, Erica, tammy's (I think)same!! Thank you!!!!

Mardelin · 07-02-2009, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by erickajm

You are right. With her being on here that long I'm sure she has read plenty of posts about this type of thing. I don't know if she had tried to warn her brother or not. I had thought several things when I initially read that post. I posted and had to delete my original post in order to take a different approach.

I did wonder why if a person is going to have two yorkies, one of each sex, then why wouldn't they have at least one fixed so that this oops wouldn't occur.
I really believe that in the end it will always depend on the day as to how we respond to each individual thread. There are days that I can throw jokes in, other days that its seems as if every thread started is stupid and I want to tell the OP just that. We are only human and will react that way. Thankfully there are enough of us that when one is at their wits end with certain posts, another will be there to reassure and advise..

The possibility exists that breeding was the plan and it came too quickly, not enough time to study and learn. I know this has happened to some.

justlucas1 · 07-02-2009, 06:56 PM

He just i mean Just got the male, as a RESCUE, he was going to Nueter him...Had no idea his Sissy was in heat,,, YES HE was NOt as responsible as he should have been.
That is why I now have Sissy and the boy is FIXED....
Again you ladies have GOT to Stop being SOOO negative... wow.....
there are GOOD people out here who just flat Screw up!!! HELP THEM!!

tammys · 07-02-2009, 07:15 PM

For the record: I will admit that some recent posts spurred me to finally say something, but like I said at the beginning of my post, this has been weighing on me for a while, and I haven't even been here that long.

So, it wasn't just those recent posts that got me thinking about this.

I don't think (at least I hope not) that there is malice in the rude replies. I imagine just frustration coming out in words, which we all know can be hurtful.

If everyone just took a few extra seconds to figure out exactly what they want to ask or reply with (without judgement, b/c that is usually not what the asker needs), it would make a world of difference.

07-02-2009, 06:55 AM	#1
tammys YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 268	Wording... Disclaimer: I am NOT trying to start trouble, but this has been weighing on me. I understand how experienced breeders can get upset about situations that they know can end in disaster. My issue is how things are worded very often. We cannot hear the tone of your voice. It could be empathetic or it could be chastising. And when someone feels backed up against a wall, he/she will not hear what you're saying, however helpful it might be. They will just get defensive, and all the knowledge you have to share won't be heard. Yes, things need to be said, but I wish people would think about how it might sound to someone, especially someone who is scared and worried about a breeding situation. That person needs the facts (good and bad, worded with respect), support, and to be able to feel that she/he can post on here without feeling attacked. Just my .02, for what it's worth.

07-02-2009, 07:36 AM	#4
tammys YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 268	Oh my gosh, this is so long - sorry about that. It will seem longer than normal, b/c I put lots of spacing b/w paragraphs for easier reading. That is sad that it has been voiced again and again. I imagine that there will not be a situation where everyone will be happy, so this is probably a mute point. I absolutely agree: questions can be very confusing, frustrating the person answering it. I think the interpretation confusion comes from not being able to hear the tone of the person. The OP may be scared or worried (depending on their situation), and their nerves are often raw after dealing with days of guilt, analyzing, etc. And, you are right, we need to careful in how we interperet the tone - it's just hard to do sometimes. I have read something, and thought it was rude; only to re-read it and realize it wasn't so bad. I will admit to being very sensitive and getting my feelings hurt easily - not a good thing on such impersonal boards! I also agree that it would be sad for someone to disregard valuable information b/c they got their feelings hurt. Maybe it's not totally disregarded (it would depend on the person/situation), but my point is that if someone is upset about their situation, they should't be made to feel bad; they came here for help, not to be judged and knocked down. They should know the facts and possibly disastrous outcomes, but those things should be delivered with kindness and support, not judgement. But, I don't understand why experienced breeders wouldn't post on here. If they are helpful and polite, what would the problem be? I guess maybe they thought they weren't being rude, but were blasted by people who thought they were? I think it comes down to two different sides: Breeders and experienced dog owners who are frustrated with ignorance, and possibly terrible outcomes. Newbies inexperienced with breeding asking those questions and posting about these terrible outcomes - causing the frustration in the breeders. But I do believe that rude is rude. There is always a nicer way to say things, and it might take more time, but it's so much more pleasant for everyone. It's all in the delivery. Again, sorry for the novel! Last edited by tammys; 07-02-2009 at 07:39 AM.

07-02-2009, 08:47 AM	#7
Mom2TwoYorkies YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Connecticut Posts: 1,306	Sometimes I feel the same way as one of the newbies here . . .sometimes I won't post things because I'm afraid of the answers I'll get . . .not that they aren't good answers, it's just the underlying tone of the responses. I'm not a breeder nor any where near experienced what the seasoned breeders have . . .I look up to those who have bred their pups and read about their triumphs and heartaches and study up on things I do not yet fully understand. Yes, I want to breed Rhianna one day to my Brody . .I guess I'll be considered a "byb" but that isn't how I feel . . .I love my furkids with all my heart, I know I've researched and learned by reading and reading and reading . . .I'm still learning . . .my dogs aren't kept in crates in a kennel, they live with me, in my home, under my feet . . .they sleep in my bed . . .they are family . . .they are the love of my life . . .it's not to breed for money at all for me . . .I just have always wanted to do it . . .if we are blessed with pups I know I will find the best homes for them . . .if I cannot, I will keep them . . doesn't matter if there are 2, 3 or even 5 pups. . . I just wanted to say that I respect you, the experienced breeders, but on the same token, I fear your negativity towards us, the newbies, . . .and I don't like feeling like that . . . __________________ Deb, Mommy to: Brody & Rhianna Belle

07-02-2009, 09:02 AM	#8
angelakc <3 by Zsa Zsa & Pixie Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: sunshine state Posts: 738	I agree, I think that somethings posted on here sound very rude and mean. I haven't had that happen to me but I do see where it has been done to others. I feel so bad for them and honestly it is uncalled for. I can give my advise without making the other person feel belittled...I found myself also not posting my thoughts because I don't want the bashing. I love yt but some of the people on here are rude and should think about what they say before they say it... __________________ Zsa Zsa and Pixie have me wrapped around their paws "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies"

07-02-2009, 05:09 PM	#9
erickajm Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Central Pennsylvania Posts: 3,200	There have been numerous posts that I would have loved to voice my true opinions. I have many times bit my tongue. Other times I have voiced my opinion only to feel that I may have been a bit too harsh. I find it very frustrating when I read some of the posts and it is very hard not to say what I REALLY want to say but in the end it isn't going to help the situation. I think the majority of people who do post are looking for advice because they know they are in over their heads. It is our job as the experienced breeder to help guide them in the direction needed. It isn't going to help the pregnant dog at all by condemning the person to where three posts later, they are swearing off YT. Life is full of oops! Just because it is an oops doesn't mean it won't work out. Case in point ~ me... I was an oops and look, you wouldn't know what to do with yourselves if I weren't here! __________________ Zoe Peppee Brady EARL!

07-02-2009, 07:05 AM	#2
BamaFan121s Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Alabama Posts: 11,432	Your same concern has been voice time and time again. If I get the jist of this and similar concerns, it's not what is said, it's how it is said. Kind of sad that people making serious decisions regarding the lives of their dogs can't look past the "tone" (or just ignore it) and focus on the value of the information being shared instead of trying to over analyze things and concern themselves too much on whether someone was "nice enough" with their answer. You are right...you can't always determine the intent behind someone's words--but that rule goes both ways. If people should be more considerate of how they post, then equally those reading it should be more considerate of how they interpret it. To me, many times the "you were rude with your answer" line is nothing more than a tactic implemented to distract attention from one siutation to another, or "throw the heat off", so to speak. Unfortunately, it's the "it's not what you said it's how you said it" mentality that has been and continues to be a huge contributing factor as to why many of the well seasoned, respected breeders refuse to post here at all anymore. (Which is a point that has also been brought up on more than one occasion.)

07-02-2009, 07:30 AM	#3
Sugar's Mom BANNED! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Kentucky Posts: 9,248	[QUOTE=BamaFan121s;2696300]Your same concern has been voice time and time again. If I get the jist of this and similar concerns, it's not what is said, it's how it is said. Kind of sad that people making serious decisions regarding the lives of their dogs can't look past the "tone" (or just ignore it) and focus on the value of the information being shared instead of trying to over analyze things and concern themselves too much on whether someone was "nice enough" with their answer. You are right...you can't always determine the intent behind someone's words--but that rule goes both ways. If people should be more considerate of how they post, then equally those reading it should be more considerate of how they interpret it. To me, many times the "you were rude with your answer" line is nothing more than a tactic implemented to distract attention from one siutation to another, or "throw the heat off", so to speak. Unfortunately, it's the "it's not what you said it's how you said it" mentality that has been and continues to be a huge contributing factor as to why many of the well seasoned, respected breeders refuse to post here at all anymore. (Which is a point that has also been brought up on more than one occasion.)[/QUOTE] you are right and right now, I really am not in a mood to worry about how anyone reads what i wrote on the other thread. Some people just need to go to walmart and get a stuffed animal. I am so tired of threads like the two or three I have read today. There is just no excuse. i know the old arguement of everyone has to start somewhere keeps coming up and yes that is right but there are those people that have researched for years before letting two unaltered pets together and even if it was an oops, they should have known better. I know I am in a bad mood today and am not going to post anymore on any of these threads but know this, I am one of the very few experienced breeders left on this board and I spend countless hours on the phone trying to help sincere people. So understand that I am not just trying to be rude or unfeeling. it gets very old at a certain point.

07-02-2009, 06:49 PM	#12
justlucas1 No Longer a Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Colorado Springs, Co. United States Posts: 10	For the Record.... I started all this... I asked "the" question that is in the Other Thread. mardelin, i may have "joined " this site last year, However, you are Assuming AGAIN, I Never posted , not Once, I did not "lurk" and read posts... Wow such a neative out look on life and people sweetie... I had not owned a yorkie then and I was Googleing yorkie info trying to decide if I wanted one... This Yorkie Talk came up in the search... I joined because I wanted to know what it, YT was all about. I looked around one or two days, then moved on... I DID indeed decide to get a baby and LOVE that decision... After I got my baby then my brother got his, because he loved mine.. We lived in seperate states at the time... Ie.. I no longer live in COS, left over 6 months ago... Anyway, my point is guys, I have not been on YT in over a yr and a month. I remembered it last night when again searching Google for help. had to even reapply or whatever to get my password. I Think all Anne is saying is, Why not give people the Benefit of the Doubt? you and Dee seem to just have a Huge Chip on you. I am SO sorry All this hurt got started. I am Not what ALL this Negativity has made me out to be... Wow. I am truly grieved by all this Junk, Gossip,Murmurring. Please go on, I am sorry. If I had any idea... Well anyway, Mary and Dee I believe, try to think on the Good the Pure and the Lovely... I know, easier said than done and Yes we all get burned by doing that at times. There Are BAD BAD people out there... But please dont let them make you hard or jaded... You might just miss out on a True Joy and wonderful experience... Glass half full girl here. There is a Lot of love in and around all these posts.... I feel it in how you are all tryin to talk it out. I again am so sorry.... Many Blessings. oh btw Anne, your heart is So Big, what a blessing, Erica, tammy's (I think)same!! Thank you!!!! Last edited by justlucas1; 07-02-2009 at 06:52 PM. Reason: spelling errors

07-02-2009, 06:56 PM	#14
justlucas1 No Longer a Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Colorado Springs, Co. United States Posts: 10	He just i mean Just got the male, as a RESCUE, he was going to Nueter him...Had no idea his Sissy was in heat,,, YES HE was NOt as responsible as he should have been. That is why I now have Sissy and the boy is FIXED.... Again you ladies have GOT to Stop being SOOO negative... wow..... there are GOOD people out here who just flat Screw up!!! HELP THEM!!

07-02-2009, 07:15 PM	#15
tammys YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 268	For the record: I will admit that some recent posts spurred me to finally say something, but like I said at the beginning of my post, this has been weighing on me for a while, and I haven't even been here that long. So, it wasn't just those recent posts that got me thinking about this. I don't think (at least I hope not) that there is malice in the rude replies. I imagine just frustration coming out in words, which we all know can be hurtful. If everyone just took a few extra seconds to figure out exactly what they want to ask or reply with (without judgement, b/c that is usually not what the asker needs), it would make a world of difference.