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01-16-2009, 02:03 PM | #1 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A little town south of Chicago
Posts: 4,525
| Can't Forgive Myself Have you ever done something that in your mind was so horrible you can't forgive yourself? I am no where near the person I used to be and quite honestly did something I am very ashamed of when I was a much younger woman - So ashamed that I have never told another soul about it. I wasn't unfaithful to my husband or anything like that but most of you would cringe if you knew what I did. I've done plenty of things in my life that I needed to be forgiven for and I know that God has forgiven me but I can't forgive myself for this one. Therefore I can't stop crying whenever I think about it and I have been thinking about it a lot lately. |
Welcome Guest! | |
01-16-2009, 02:06 PM | #2 |
♥Sapphire♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: PA, USA
Posts: 4,069
| Do you want to talk about it? I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. And, even if it is, God has forgiven you. No matter what, just know that He still loves you. And we do, too.
__________________ Courtney Sapphire |
01-16-2009, 02:11 PM | #3 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| Oh Hun you need to forgive yourself. It was a long time ago and you arent even the same person. I know you said you hadnt talked to anyone about it. It seems like its been bottled up for so long. Do you think if you talked to your Husband or somebody about it it might help you forgive youself? I used to go to a therapist and it helped me to get things off my chest and then I felt better.
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
01-16-2009, 02:12 PM | #4 |
Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida
Posts: 14,495
| Jesus has already forgiven you for what you did, and knew you were going to do it before you did. He died on the cross for ALL our sins. Not just ones that we allow ourselves to be forgiven for. My husband is going through the same thing. He doesn't feel worthy to even talk to Jesus. I am starting to read the Bible out loud to him tonight, because he has a really hard time reading and retaining what he reads. I read my Bible everyday, and since I started I feel so much better. You might want to visit your Priest, Reverend, or Pastor, and let them help you to let loose of what your suffering from. I had to do that, because I did something too that I just couldn't let go of it, and he really helped me out especially when he told me some of the things he had done, and here he was a Priest. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts when I read my Bible.
__________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki |
01-16-2009, 02:19 PM | #5 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A little town south of Chicago
Posts: 4,525
| Thanks you guys. I probably do need to talk about it and this is most likely the beginning. I worried that if I posted you all would imagine all kinds of horrible things but believe me you would never guess it and I suppose there are a lot of people that wouldn't feel the least bit guilty but I do. I almost wish I could say I was an axe murderer but that isn't it. I feel comforted by talking to you though and that is a start. |
01-16-2009, 02:28 PM | #6 | |
Loved by Layla Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 11,257
| Quote:
That aside- I agree with everyone else. Keeping it in is just going make it fester inside and eat you up. You need to talk to someone you trust and that can be of a support to you. A friend of mine was feeling the same way as you are right now- she had an abortion when she was younger and not ready to be a mom- and she had manged to suppress it for a long time but the feelings had come back and she just needed to talk it through- while it doesn't erase what she did or the regret she has now- she has been able to move on and find positive in her life instead of dwelling on the past. | |
01-16-2009, 02:40 PM | #7 | |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| Quote:
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 | |
01-16-2009, 02:41 PM | #8 |
I heart Sugar Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Florida
Posts: 7,373
| I think most of us have done things when we were younger that we would never do as the people we are now. I know I have- I have plenty of cringe-worthy moments from my youth. This sounds like it is bothering you so badly though that it does sound like something you need to talk to someone about. You already said it isn't something you would ever do now so maybe having someone you really trust tell you that you deserve to forgive yourself would help. Hugs!
__________________ "If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." — St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226 |
01-16-2009, 02:48 PM | #9 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Satellite Beach, FL
Posts: 3,691
| I too have done many things that I am not proud of HOWEVER I finally realized that I'm not that foolish person anymore. I forgave myself & my life is much better. |
01-16-2009, 02:54 PM | #10 |
BANNED! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: South Carolina
Posts: 2,376
| Everyone does things in their lives they're ashamed of. NO ONE is perfect, and the only ones that you have to ask forgiveness from is God. Then you have to forgive yourself, you owe nothing else to anyone. Please, whatever it is, do not cry about it, it's over and done with. Leave it in the past and move on with the future |
01-16-2009, 03:18 PM | #11 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: KS
Posts: 3,289
| Read Philippians 3:13b-14. Has helped me through regrets. Hugs.
__________________ Joanne Eli ChipperEva Snowboy Rosie(R.I.P. 1996-July 29, 2013) Cocoa(R.I.P 1998-April 26, 2012): |
01-16-2009, 04:43 PM | #12 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | I gave my birth son up for adoption when I was 18. Back then it was not very acceptable to be an "unwed mother" and other reasons. I reunited with my birth son almost 2 years ago after 36 years and see him evey week and he never made me feel bad for giving him up but I feel so guilty for not being stronger and finding a way to keep him. So I understand how you can be feeling but we cannot change the past just learn from it. I hope you can get some relief and talk to someone who can help you.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
01-16-2009, 05:31 PM | #13 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Indiana
Posts: 81
| Awww, I feel so bad for you. Please remember that we are always much harder on ourselves than others would be. I, along with the rest of the world, have done many things I really regret. I ofter wonder how I could have been so stupid, gullible or whatever. From your post you sound like a sweet person who just needs to give yourself a break. As others have said Jesus loves you and has already forgiven you, now you just have to trust Him. Don't waste your time crying over something you can no longer change. It's over, it's in the past, and I'm sure you have learned from it. I hope that you can finally forgive yourself with the help of Jesus. |
01-16-2009, 05:48 PM | #14 |
Love my Boys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: w/ my boys
Posts: 5,056
| I'm sorry your feeling so much guilt and possibly shame for past behaviors. All of us have slipped, some have slipped once and some have slipped many times. We where given the emotion of guilt to let us know we are on the wrong path. That means your a good person, good decent people have the capacity to feel guilt about the wrong. Bad people don't have the capacity to feel guilt, they just make excuses and justify the wrong behavior. If you are not able to repair this in some way with the person who you feel you've wronged then sometimes we have to forgive ourselves and put it into perspective that you where different then, and you learned a valuable lesson.... This terrible incident has in some way changed who you are, your character and integrity has come out of this for the better. It may not feel like it but the truth is you came out of this a better, caring, and a more mature person today because of this incident. ....You grew and learned, and that's all you can ask for.......And I just know that if you could turn back time you would do different, but since that is not possible, sometimes all we can do is forgive ourselves and move on.....I hope you find some peace with this.....
__________________ B.J.mom to : Jake J.J. Jack & Joey, momma misses you..... The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.. |
01-16-2009, 05:52 PM | #15 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: upstate ny
Posts: 5,847
| Why is it that we would forgive someone else in a heartbeat the same thing but we can't forgive ourselves? My best advice is to pray about it and if you have harmed another, maybe it would help to write a letter even if you could never send it. I wish you luck and hope that you can find a way to forgive yourself. |
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