HELP!! I want to get Abbey spayed, family won't let me...(want her to have puppies!) - YorkieTalk.com Forums

abbey lee · 06-10-2008, 07:25 AM

This is going to sounds terrible, I know. And I will probably get some negative responses but please please keep in mind MOST people do not know as much about yorkies as many YTers.

Abbey is six months old now and I want to get her spayed ASAP, my vet does too. Problem is, my grandma bought Abbey for me AND pays all her vet bills. I probably could not do it on my own as I am struggling with being in college, having loans, rent, ect. So I guess my fam feels some entitlement to what goes on with her bc of that. When I first got Abbey they said they wanted to breed her with my sister's yorkie, Noodle. I kind of blew this off like they weren't very serious. Well now, they really want to do it. I brought up that I was thinking she should get spayed soon and my mom was like "No, we are breeding her!!"

I ABSOLUTELY do NOT want to breed her. First, he is very tiny, she weighs 4 pounds right now. Second, I do not know the first thing about breeding and I tell my family this and they are like "Oh, you can learn, it's not that hard." They say this bc my stepmom bred her yorkie and had little experience and everything was fine! Ugh. I try to explain them what I have read on YT and other places about how hard it is, how dangerous it is for the dogs, ect. They do not care, they just want the puppies!!!

It makes me sick bc this is my own family and they just want "free" puppies. Everyone is already claiming one!!!

I try to tell them it won't be free...she may need a C-section and other vet bills. I also tell them I would have to stay home and care for the babies when they are born. By no means "free" puppies.

My main concern is Abbey. I DO NOT want her to breed bc I am afraid she will have complications. I am not willing to risk her life for this.

I even called my mom and said "Go BUY yourself a puppy from a breeder. Don't come after my dog." Basically she does not need to be "cheap."

Abbey is my baby and I thought my family loved her like me (I guess they do) but how can they see her as a puppy machine?!?!? And how can they even talk about her having puppies when she is still a puppy?? Makes me sick.

Anyway, I need your help. I want to get Abbey spayed, but like I said I cannot do it if my grandmother does not help me pay for it. What should I say to my family??? What can I say (that I haven't already) to make them see this is a TERRIBLE idea and that buying their own puppies from a breeder is a better idea?? I could probably get together some money and get her spayed and not tell them but I really just want their support. And they honestly get mad at me when I talk about getting her spayed!!

Please help.

daisy mae06 · 06-10-2008, 07:28 AM

I feel for you hun
maybe you can educate them here is a website that may help.

Dog Owner's Guide: Ten reasons to breed your dog

nikkinack · 06-10-2008, 07:31 AM

I think you should give them a list of what it cost to breed and have puppies, get a note from your vet that she is too small to be breed and give them some info on how dangerous and time consuming breeding can be. Stand up for yourself and your baby, I know how hard it can be to stand up to family but think about your little girl.

celstu1 · 06-10-2008, 07:35 AM

Ask your vet if you can set up a payment plan for Abbys spay and pay off the vet yourself. You dont even have to tell your family. They will wonder why Abby can't get pregnant but you dont have to tell them that you had her fixed.

Its so not fair when someone gives you something but then thinks they have a say or can what they want with the something they gave you just because they paid for it.

JCarlson2004 · 06-10-2008, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by celstu1

Ask your vet if you can set up a payment plan for Abbys spay and pay off the vet yourself. You dont even have to tell your family. They will wonder why Abby can't get pregnant but you dont have to tell them that you had her fixed.

Its so not fair when someone gives you something but then thinks they have a say or can what they want with the something they gave you just because they paid for it.

I agree with you.

Regardless of who paid for the puppy, she belongs to you and she is your responsibility. That means if you have to go against your family's wish and have her spayed and risk their anger, then it's something you must do. Abbey relies on you to take care of her and protect her. She can't defend herself or speak for herself.

I know it's hard to do something without your family's support and financial assistance but you have to be strong for Abbey. Don't let them make you feel guilty about this -- you are without a doubt doing the right thing. Why don't you look into a low cost clinic? Some places perform spays for $75.

Best of luck to you and Abbey.

abbey lee · 06-10-2008, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCarlson2004

I agree with you.

Regardless of who paid for the puppy, she belongs to you and she is your responsibility. That means if you have to go against your family's wish and have her spayed and risk their anger, then it's something you must do. Abbey relies on you to take care of her and protect her. She can't defend herself or speak for herself.

I know it's hard to do something without your family's support and financial assistance but you have to be strong for Abbey. Don't let them make you feel guilty about this -- you are without a doubt doing the right thing. Why don't you look into a low cost clinic? Some places perform spays for $75.

Best of luck to you and Abbey.

Thanks everyone for the support. I want you all to know that I will stand up for myself and Abbey as I have been. No matter what, Abbey will NOT breed bc I don't want her to, end of story. I just want to know some ideas, facts, whatever that I can use to get my family to see that this is what's best.

JCarlson2004 · 06-10-2008, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abbey lee

Thanks everyone for the support. I want you all to know that I will stand up for myself and Abbey as I have been. No matter what, Abbey will NOT breed bc I don't want her to, end of story. I just want to know some ideas, facts, whatever that I can use to get my family to see that this is what's best.

What if you talk to your vet, explain the situation to him in detail and ask him to write a note saying Abbey is too small to be safely bred?

Or you can always go ahead and spay Abbey (make work out a payment plan with your vet or check out a low-cost spay and neuter clinic) and just not tell your family. Then bring your sister's dog to your house for 1 week and "pretend" to breed them. Then after a few weeks, say Abbey didn't get pregnant.

I really hate to be dishonest but in this case it may be an option for you.

browniesmom622 · 06-10-2008, 08:00 AM

I would sell some stuff go to a shelter, They do cheap spay, sometimes $40 don't even tell them til it's done.

Stella's mom · 06-10-2008, 08:01 AM

Please don't take this as being mean or ugly because I agree with you 100%. I for one don't like "gifts" with expectations attached....being aware you don't want your family upset is understandable but it appears they are not considering Abbey's well being or your feelings. Have they even thought of your feelings if the worst scenario happened and you lost Abbey during this process, not to mention the pups? There are many very knowledgable breeders on YT and had it not been for their experience and expertice several of them could have had tragic outcomes.

Personally I would get a some documentation from the vet noting his opinion that she is too small and shouldn't be bred. As stated in another post she is your love and responsibility and no one should try to push you into doing something you aren't comfortable with. If I had to I'd get her spayed on a payment plan....this is totally unfair to both of you.

chachi · 06-10-2008, 08:01 AM

I think its very sad that your own family is putting that kind of pressure on you. Have you told them Abbey could die birthing puppies. The chances of that increase when they are young and small like she is. Maybe you could get an experienced breeder on here to talk some sense into them. If not I would find a way to finance the spay and do it. Some times the humaine society will do low cost spays check there. I have a son in college and I would never put such expectations on him.

browniesmom622 · 06-10-2008, 08:04 AM

LOW COST MOBILE VET CLINIC
Emancipet is a low-cost mobile vet clinic that offers spay (females), neuter (males) and shots by appointment. Please call (512)587-7729 to make an appointment (leave a message and they will call back to you). The EmanciPet website is EmanciPET.org | Home, you can make appointments online. If you need financial help to have your pet spayed or neutered, please call Pet Prevent A Litter (PALs) of Central Texas 512-754-PALS, PALS: Prevent A Litter of Central Texas
REMINDER -- PLEASE HAVE YOUR PET VACCINATED ANNUALLY AND COMPLY WITH CITY AND COUNTY LICENSING ORDINANCES.

The San Marcos Animal Shelter

PALS Spay Day
Spay-Neuter Assistance Program: Welcome!
Home

Mom to Hot Rod · 06-10-2008, 08:07 AM

You gotten a lot of good advice. Your vet may be the hope you need to convince your family...after all he is the professional and your family should pay attention to what he has to say about breeding a small dog.

Good luck. I hope it all works out for you and Abbey.

katelin · 06-10-2008, 08:19 AM

I doubt your family will come around to your views no matter what you say or who says it. People think that breeding is a normal activity that happens in the wild without all our help, so why not now with your baby. The problem is, in the wild it is survival of the fittest. Here, we want all of our babies to survive.

You're in college now, and it is possible for you to take action without their approval. You need to make this decision for your baby and then follow through. Best wishes.

SladesMommy · 06-10-2008, 08:25 AM

I think its great you are doing the right thing and don't want to breed her.

I like the others suggestions of getting a note from your vet. If that doesn't work then I would find a low cost spay/neuter place. With you living in Texas i'm sure there are plenty. I have a friend who does rescue work in San Antonio, so if you would like I could ask her for some suggestions. I took Slade to a low cost clinic and he did just fine and it cost me $50 (which included his rabies shot)

xxmxaxrxyxx · 06-10-2008, 08:42 AM

i would talk to your vet and him/her educated your family on the risk of breeding...and maybe that will help change their mind...but if all else fails...its your Abbey so do what you feel is right...a gift shouldn't come with extra attachments and restrictions...that is my opinion

06-10-2008, 07:25 AM	#1
abbey lee Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: San Marcos, TX Posts: 843	HELP!! I want to get Abbey spayed, family won't let me...(want her to have puppies!) This is going to sounds terrible, I know. And I will probably get some negative responses but please please keep in mind MOST people do not know as much about yorkies as many YTers. Abbey is six months old now and I want to get her spayed ASAP, my vet does too. Problem is, my grandma bought Abbey for me AND pays all her vet bills. I probably could not do it on my own as I am struggling with being in college, having loans, rent, ect. So I guess my fam feels some entitlement to what goes on with her bc of that. When I first got Abbey they said they wanted to breed her with my sister's yorkie, Noodle. I kind of blew this off like they weren't very serious. Well now, they really want to do it. I brought up that I was thinking she should get spayed soon and my mom was like "No, we are breeding her!!" I ABSOLUTELY do NOT want to breed her. First, he is very tiny, she weighs 4 pounds right now. Second, I do not know the first thing about breeding and I tell my family this and they are like "Oh, you can learn, it's not that hard." They say this bc my stepmom bred her yorkie and had little experience and everything was fine! Ugh. I try to explain them what I have read on YT and other places about how hard it is, how dangerous it is for the dogs, ect. They do not care, they just want the puppies!!! It makes me sick bc this is my own family and they just want "free" puppies. Everyone is already claiming one!!! I try to tell them it won't be free...she may need a C-section and other vet bills. I also tell them I would have to stay home and care for the babies when they are born. By no means "free" puppies. My main concern is Abbey. I DO NOT want her to breed bc I am afraid she will have complications. I am not willing to risk her life for this. I even called my mom and said "Go BUY yourself a puppy from a breeder. Don't come after my dog." Basically she does not need to be "cheap." Abbey is my baby and I thought my family loved her like me (I guess they do) but how can they see her as a puppy machine?!?!? And how can they even talk about her having puppies when she is still a puppy?? Makes me sick. Anyway, I need your help. I want to get Abbey spayed, but like I said I cannot do it if my grandmother does not help me pay for it. What should I say to my family??? What can I say (that I haven't already) to make them see this is a TERRIBLE idea and that buying their own puppies from a breeder is a better idea?? I could probably get together some money and get her spayed and not tell them but I really just want their support. And they honestly get mad at me when I talk about getting her spayed!! Please help. __________________ Chelsey & Abbey We love and miss you MINNIE. Never far from our thoughts, Rest In Peace Last edited by abbey lee; 06-10-2008 at 07:27 AM.

06-10-2008, 07:28 AM	#2
daisy mae06 Kodi & Pixie 2 Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: NEBRASKA Posts: 14,766	I feel for you hun maybe you can educate them here is a website that may help. Dog Owner's Guide: Ten reasons to breed your dog __________________ OK Yorkie Rescue - http://okyorkierescue.org LorisCritterSitter.com

06-10-2008, 07:31 AM	#3
nikkinack YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Mid Michigan Posts: 1,510	I think you should give them a list of what it cost to breed and have puppies, get a note from your vet that she is too small to be breed and give them some info on how dangerous and time consuming breeding can be. Stand up for yourself and your baby, I know how hard it can be to stand up to family but think about your little girl. __________________ Member of Petite Pups United and Spoiled Rotten Club Proud member of the CrAzYcLuB

06-10-2008, 07:35 AM	#4
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	Ask your vet if you can set up a payment plan for Abbys spay and pay off the vet yourself. You dont even have to tell your family. They will wonder why Abby can't get pregnant but you dont have to tell them that you had her fixed. Its so not fair when someone gives you something but then thinks they have a say or can what they want with the something they gave you just because they paid for it. __________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz

06-10-2008, 08:00 AM	#8
browniesmom622 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: ny Posts: 11,253 Blog Entries: 5	I would sell some stuff go to a shelter, They do cheap spay, sometimes $40 don't even tell them til it's done. __________________ We Love our Yt Angel! My Website< > FB page

06-10-2008, 08:01 AM	#9
Stella's mom YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: North Carolina Posts: 1,090	Please don't take this as being mean or ugly because I agree with you 100%. I for one don't like "gifts" with expectations attached....being aware you don't want your family upset is understandable but it appears they are not considering Abbey's well being or your feelings. Have they even thought of your feelings if the worst scenario happened and you lost Abbey during this process, not to mention the pups? There are many very knowledgable breeders on YT and had it not been for their experience and expertice several of them could have had tragic outcomes. Personally I would get a some documentation from the vet noting his opinion that she is too small and shouldn't be bred. As stated in another post she is your love and responsibility and no one should try to push you into doing something you aren't comfortable with. If I had to I'd get her spayed on a payment plan....this is totally unfair to both of you. Last edited by Stella's mom; 06-10-2008 at 08:02 AM. Reason: spelling correction

06-10-2008, 08:01 AM	#10
chachi I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana Posts: 37,147	I think its very sad that your own family is putting that kind of pressure on you. Have you told them Abbey could die birthing puppies. The chances of that increase when they are young and small like she is. Maybe you could get an experienced breeder on here to talk some sense into them. If not I would find a way to finance the spay and do it. Some times the humaine society will do low cost spays check there. I have a son in college and I would never put such expectations on him. __________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431 Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427

06-10-2008, 08:04 AM	#11
browniesmom622 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: ny Posts: 11,253 Blog Entries: 5	LOW COST MOBILE VET CLINIC Emancipet is a low-cost mobile vet clinic that offers spay (females), neuter (males) and shots by appointment. Please call (512)587-7729 to make an appointment (leave a message and they will call back to you). The EmanciPet website is EmanciPET.org \| Home, you can make appointments online. If you need financial help to have your pet spayed or neutered, please call Pet Prevent A Litter (PALs) of Central Texas 512-754-PALS, PALS: Prevent A Litter of Central Texas REMINDER -- PLEASE HAVE YOUR PET VACCINATED ANNUALLY AND COMPLY WITH CITY AND COUNTY LICENSING ORDINANCES. The San Marcos Animal Shelter PALS Spay Day Spay-Neuter Assistance Program: Welcome! Home __________________ We Love our Yt Angel! My Website< > FB page

06-10-2008, 08:07 AM	#12
Mom to Hot Rod Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: MD Posts: 10,908	You gotten a lot of good advice. Your vet may be the hope you need to convince your family...after all he is the professional and your family should pay attention to what he has to say about breeding a small dog. Good luck. I hope it all works out for you and Abbey. __________________ www.kissecollar.com Soft Cone Collars for Post-surgery and much more! 10% (non-food) - Discount code YT10

06-10-2008, 08:19 AM	#13
katelin YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: California Posts: 1,778	I doubt your family will come around to your views no matter what you say or who says it. People think that breeding is a normal activity that happens in the wild without all our help, so why not now with your baby. The problem is, in the wild it is survival of the fittest. Here, we want all of our babies to survive. You're in college now, and it is possible for you to take action without their approval. You need to make this decision for your baby and then follow through. Best wishes. __________________ *LaVail Yorkshire Terriers*

06-10-2008, 08:25 AM	#14
SladesMommy Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: ATX Posts: 4,513	I think its great you are doing the right thing and don't want to breed her. I like the others suggestions of getting a note from your vet. If that doesn't work then I would find a low cost spay/neuter place. With you living in Texas i'm sure there are plenty. I have a friend who does rescue work in San Antonio, so if you would like I could ask her for some suggestions. I took Slade to a low cost clinic and he did just fine and it cost me $50 (which included his rabies shot) __________________ GIGANTIC DOG CLOTHES SALE!!! <--- CLlCK!

06-10-2008, 08:42 AM	#15
xxmxaxrxyxx Missing Yoshi Everyday! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 15,110 Blog Entries: 3	i would talk to your vet and him/her educated your family on the risk of breeding...and maybe that will help change their mind...but if all else fails...its your Abbey so do what you feel is right...a gift shouldn't come with extra attachments and restrictions...that is my opinion __________________ Yoshi Mei Ling Ting Ting Ting Ki Sun Hye Yukio Kioshi