Domestic Abuse Case

[yorkietalkjilly]

18 stabs = aggravated assault with a deadly weapon added to the ,hopefully, 1st degree attempted murder charge with his past should put him away for good and keep her safe from him. I've heard attack victims say one of the worst thing they deal with is the fear of the man getting out of jail eventually - that from the moment he's free, they are imprisoned in fear. At least, hopefully, this poor woman and her children won't have to deal with that some day. I pray that he'll plead out if the D.A. will accept a plea and those children will not have to testify on the one hand - on the other, I'd hate to see him get any better kind of deal by pleading plus, the D. A. might want to take the case to trial no matter what.

I sure hope she does well with her future medical care and rehab and she can at least breathe, eat, speak normally after her severe throat wounds have healed. Deep, wide throat wounds can cause such bad problems sometimes.

These three sure do have a hard road ahead of them but with God's help and all the good people of your church and community, maybe they can have a bright future once the trial is behind them. Please tell her that your Yorkie forum is praying for them if you get the chance. Keep us updated as you can.

[msyorktown]

Originally Posted by Samuelsmommie

Jacqui, my heart breaks for you as well. I am so sorry you had to endure all that you did. But you are a survivor, just like she is. I really Pray that God will continue to give us the wisdom and guidance to help her and the children out! The youngest is having nightmares and that's not surprising. The 14 year old and my daughter are friends and it was so hard to watch my daughter cry and worry about her friend and then in turn have to explain to her or try to explain to her how someone could do something so terrible.
This situation has been such a difficult one for me to make sense of.

It's so important that these people who do things like this are made to pay with stiffer punishments. Abuse is never okay and we have to teach our daughters this lesson it breaks my heart to ever think of something like this happening to my daughter or anyone else's for that matter.

I'm just trying to be here for them. But it's hard not to cry right along with mom and the girls. Like you I can't imagine my babies watching someone stabbing me and screaming because they can't make him stop....

Thank you so much Tracy...my heart just shattered into a million pieces when I read the opening post! It brought back alot of memories, I have no doubt that the man meant to kill me bc at the time, and I quote ' I'm not done with you yet, dont bother calling the police bc by the time they get here it will be too late!' My youngest son is now 21 years old, he was 6 at the time...these young ones are the ones I worry about.
I have no doubt that the three year old is having nightmares...poor baby, mommy was getting hurt and she couldn't do anything to stop it.
My two boys are sooooo protective of me...my youngest got suspended from school when he as in Iowa, bc some girl said something about me!
First of the girl does not know me and second my son didn't touch her but felt the need to 'confront' her. Defending my honour so to speak. Shouting match ensued...she felt 'threatened', hence the suspension!
This piece of scum needs to be behind bars for the rest of his natural life!!
As I said I dont know the justice system down there, but I will say my ex had 9 charges against him including attempted murder, he pled guilty to 7...he got 6mths!!!! Yup you read that right, 6mths!!
I can only assume that the law is not as lenient as they seem to be up here.
I feel for the older girl and your daughter, I know first hand how difficult this is for both girls. You just being there is what is needed for all involved (except the perpetrater). Counselling is going to be needed and on-going....to this day I still belong to a support group for Domestic Violence victims, I also run one that I started at my place of employment.
I was suprised as to the number of women who came and spoke to me after they had heard of my ordeal....I felt a support group was needed.

I applaud your friends' nephew, although I don't condone violence...this was warranted, my sister nearly did the same thing when he my ex) showed up in court and smirked at her. Her husband (my BIL) had to hold her back...um and he (BIL) is a police officer!

I dont understand how these men (using the term very lightly) figure if they can't control a woman, then hey just beat the tar out of them, or worse kill them! I will never understand that at all!
This is an issue that is very close to my heart and it saddens me when I hear of yet another victim....I can't tell you how happy I am that she survived...no doubt, like me she knew her kids needed her!
That and the Lord above saw me through. Sorry for the long post...just had to tell you my thoughts....Praying for this young family and all the other victims out there that we don't know about, that suffer in silence.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by msyorktown

Thank you so much Tracy...my heart just shattered into a million pieces when I read the opening post! It brought back alot of memories, I have no doubt that the man meant to kill me bc at the time, and I quote ' I'm not done with you yet, dont bother calling the police bc by the time they get here it will be too late!' My youngest son is now 21 years old, he was 6 at the time...these young ones are the ones I worry about.
I have no doubt that the three year old is having nightmares...poor baby, mommy was getting hurt and she couldn't do anything to stop it.
My two boys are sooooo protective of me...my youngest got suspended from school when he as in Iowa, bc some girl said something about me!
First of the girl does not know me and second my son didn't touch her but felt the need to 'confront' her. Defending my honour so to speak. Shouting match ensued...she felt 'threatened', hence the suspension!
This piece of scum needs to be behind bars for the rest of his natural life!!
As I said I dont know the justice system down there, but I will say my ex had 9 charges against him including attempted murder, he pled guilty to 7...he got 6mths!!!! Yup you read that right, 6mths!!
I can only assume that the law is not as lenient as they seem to be up here.
I feel for the older girl and your daughter, I know first hand how difficult this is for both girls. You just being there is what is needed for all involved (except the perpetrater). Counselling is going to be needed and on-going....to this day I still belong to a support group for Domestic Violence victims, I also run one that I started at my place of employment.
I was suprised as to the number of women who came and spoke to me after they had heard of my ordeal....I felt a support group was needed.

I applaud your friends' nephew, although I don't condone violence...this was warranted, my sister nearly did the same thing when he my ex) showed up in court and smirked at her. Her husband (my BIL) had to hold her back...um and he (BIL) is a police officer!

I dont understand how these men (using the term very lightly) figure if they can't control a woman, then hey just beat the tar out of them, or worse kill them! I will never understand that at all!
This is an issue that is very close to my heart and it saddens me when I hear of yet another victim....I can't tell you how happy I am that she survived...no doubt, like me she knew her kids needed her!
That and the Lord above saw me through. Sorry for the long post...just had to tell you my thoughts....Praying for this young family and all the other victims out there that we don't know about, that suffer in silence.

Jacqui, I cannot imagine what you have been through. Reading your posts on this thread are terrifying. I can't believe the lack of justice in your case or imagine how you deal with it all and stay sane and those children of yours, too - how they've made it through all of this. Your story is certainly shocking and so scary and how you have kept yourself together and gone on in life is remarkable. You are one strong lady, I can tell from your words. I hope that you have found some peace and happiness since all the horror. The Lord has surely been with you through some of the worst this world has to offer. Thank you for sharing and helping others to understand, confront and vote for those who believe in strong laws/punishment for any kind of domestic abuse.

[Samuelsmommie]

Jacqui you are fine! Thank you so much for sharing. You also had some wonderful insight as well as others who posted. So thank you all for your input as it has given me some ideas on how to help her and hope that eventually she and the children will be all right. I will keep you guys posted as we learn more. I know right now she does not speak above a whisper so she definitely has more recovering to do. Her hand/arm is still wrapped until surgery. She has a lot of stitches face, hands, arms etc. So she moves slowly as well. But we are all trying to let her know we are here for her and are attempting to not push her but allow her to tell us what and how much she is ready to handle, talk about and deal with.

[Samuelsmommie]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

Jacqui, I cannot imagine what you have been through. Reading your posts on this thread are terrifying. I can't believe the lack of justice in your case or imagine how you deal with it all and stay sane and those children of yours, too - how they've made it through all of this. Your story is certainly shocking and so scary and how you have kept yourself together and gone on in life is remarkable. You are one strong lady, I can tell from your words. I hope that you have found some peace and happiness since all the horror. The Lord has surely been with you through some of the worst this world has to offer. Thank you for sharing and helping others to understand, confront and vote for those who believe in strong laws/punishment for any kind of domestic abuse.

[GeorgiesMomma]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

Jacqui, I cannot imagine what you have been through. Reading your posts on this thread are terrifying. I can't believe the lack of justice in your case or imagine how you deal with it all and stay sane and those children of yours, too - how they've made it through all of this. Your story is certainly shocking and so scary and how you have kept yourself together and gone on in life is remarkable. You are one strong lady, I can tell from your words. I hope that you have found some peace and happiness since all the horror. The Lord has surely been with you through some of the worst this world has to offer. Thank you for sharing and helping others to understand, confront and vote for those who believe in strong laws/punishment for any kind of domestic abuse.

Tracy, I will pray for your friend and her daughters. What a horrible thing to go through

[rhondah]

Saying a prayer for her and the family and hoping they can get through this. I know all to well about this stuff. A few up here know already. My stepson who is now 18 was a victim of child abuse. His mother married a man who had nothing but hate in him. Long story short he and his sister live with me and their dad I really do hope your friend and her children can recover from this

[McheleM]

Originally Posted by msyorktown

Oh Tracy...yet another victim. As you know I'm a suvivor of Domestic Violence...I suffered through for 16yrs. My ex served 6mths.

Mine tried to run me over with his truck and got 5 years probation, deferred... Never served any jail time. This was after 8 years of having the cops out on a biweekly basis and him being best friends with the local cops, so they never arrested him or took reports. And he ended up with custody of my 3 kids!


Op: I lift your friend up in prayers!! I pray she gets a protective order and seeks counseling.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Samuelsmommie

Jacqui you are fine! Thank you so much for sharing. You also had some wonderful insight as well as others who posted. So thank you all for your input as it has given me some ideas on how to help her and hope that eventually she and the children will be all right. I will keep you guys posted as we learn more. I know right now she does not speak above a whisper so she definitely has more recovering to do. Her hand/arm is still wrapped until surgery. She has a lot of stitches face, hands, arms etc. So she moves slowly as well. But we are all trying to let her know we are here for her and are attempting to not push her but allow her to tell us what and how much she is ready to handle, talk about and deal with.

Oh, my. It is so awful to think about how she hurts. Is her mom, sister, dad or some family there with her, to sit with her, tend to her, hold her hand?

[concretegurl]

Insecure mentally unstable people can't explain their own actions.

Trying to understand them wilm only hurt your head hun.

[msyorktown]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

Jacqui, I cannot imagine what you have been through. Reading your posts on this thread are terrifying. I can't believe the lack of justice in your case or imagine how you deal with it all and stay sane and those children of yours, too - how they've made it through all of this. Your story is certainly shocking and so scary and how you have kept yourself together and gone on in life is remarkable. You are one strong lady, I can tell from your words. I hope that you have found some peace and happiness since all the horror. The Lord has surely been with you through some of the worst this world has to offer. Thank you for sharing and helping others to understand, confront and vote for those who believe in strong laws/punishment for any kind of domestic abuse.

Thank you so much Jeanie, for your kind words. There were many days...so many days when I wanted to say screw this!!!! Enough already, I cant take any more...then during those dark times I remembered ...The Lord does not give you more than you can bare. Prayer and the fact that I was all my kids had left of their family, that saw me through. I had to keep it together...my kids, my little rocks! I picked myself up, dusted off and kept going...it wasn't easy, please dont ever think that, it was real tough. I had no time to think about me...I had three young ones depending on me, I had to survive and so did they, it was me and them against the world...I had my friends, certain members of my family (not all were supportive) and a wonderful support group.
Many do not understand the ramifications of Domestic Violence...it leaves your self esteem in taters, it destroys all trust in your fellow human beings, it leaves you scared for life and always always leary of new relationships.
I have grown and with extensive counselling for myself and my children we have learned to trust again....it was a long hard road, we persevered and all my children (dispite the trauma) are well rounded young adults.
My daughter is now a nurse, both my boys are in college/university...one studying music, the other going for his bachelors in communication, minor in psycology. Not to toot my own horn, but I did good! I am so proud to have come out of the hell of my past life with my sanity intact (most days) .
Tracy with the help and support of you and your church your friend will come through this ...it will get better I promise. I wont lie and tell you it will be easy...it will most certainly will NOT. It will be a very rough road, just hang on tight and be prepared. Be patient, when she is ready to talk she will, she may feel she is alone at times, assure her she is not.
Domestic Violence victims all too often suffer in silence, and always with dire consequences. She will tap into your strengh Tracy, I did, it was all i had to get through the days...just knowing someone cared what happened to me....I kept quiet for fear of my life, one of his charges was uttering a death threat...still just 6mths!
Urghh!!! Hearing about someone so close to home so to speak angers me beyond measure...I so wish I lived closer to you, offer some help, anything for her to get through this. My heart just breaks for all involved, especially those poor babies...Dear Lord please wrap this family in your loving embrace, they so need your guidance and comfort. God Bless you Tracy.

[msyorktown]

Originally Posted by McheleM

Mine tried to run me over with his truck and got 5 years probation, deferred... Never served any jail time. This was after 8 years of having the cops out on a biweekly basis and him being best friends with the local cops, so they never arrested him or took reports. And he ended up with custody of my 3 kids!.

Dear God, NO jail time...I thought our justice system was lenient, that is just absurd! AND he got the kids....mine wasn't allowed anywhere near me or the kids, and 3 years probation and a lifetime ban on owning firearms (he had an FAC) That is completley insane and unconsionable! Absolutly NO Justice was served here, what is to stop him from re-offending? Sorry this crap just makes my blood boil!

[msyorktown]

Originally Posted by Samuelsmommie

Jacqui you are fine! Thank you so much for sharing. You also had some wonderful insight as well as others who posted. So thank you all for your input as it has given me some ideas on how to help her and hope that eventually she and the children will be all right. I will keep you guys posted as we learn more. I know right now she does not speak above a whisper so she definitely has more recovering to do. Her hand/arm is still wrapped until surgery. She has a lot of stitches face, hands, arms etc. So she moves slowly as well. But we are all trying to let her know we are here for her and are attempting to not push her but allow her to tell us what and how much she is ready to handle, talk about and deal with.

Thanks Tracy, I'm still here, dispite what he had hoped for!!
It will be a long road for her, but she too will recover...the physical scars will heal sooner than the emotional ones....I promise you she will recover...she will need help, but recover she will. The Lord has a better plan for her...believe that. HE has her back and HE always will.