My Baby is Gone...

[autumn star]

Im very sorry to hear your story. It sounds like you did everything you could. You both had been bit and you had to do something before one of you got seriously hurt. If you think it would help your healing to get another yorkie then that is what you should do. We all deal w/situations differently. Only you can decide what is right for you and your hubby.
Good luck and welcome to YT!

[Gingergirlsmom]

Aww,your story broke my heart...

I can imagine how frustrated you must've felt and how hard it must've been to give him up. I hope the best for both him and you.

Welcome to YT!

[menamc]

Thanks again to all of you who have posted.

Today is a better day, so far, and I hope that it continues. It would be better if I was working right now, to take my mind off Rascal, but that's not meant to be at this time.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

~Melena

[mizzwanned]

I feel so bad for Ras, that he was abused. Those people are so cruel!!! I hope he finds a home that can give him that speacial care he needs. You tried your best and have a good heart for taking him in. Maybe you should get a younger one if you are going to get one again. If you take another abused dog you might have the same problems.

[menamc]

Thanks. We're talking over our options, we just would prefer to get a rescue, so that we can save one, you know?

What we've experienced with all of our rescues, is that people get animals for gifts, and then don't really want them, or older people can't take care of them. (This happened with my Granny, she had to give away her baby, for she was a danger, ie: tripping over her, not being able to take her out in the ice, etc.) Also, like my mom, who got a dog after I moved out, and realized that I was the one taking care of our previous dog, and she couldn't give it the attention it deserved, so she had to get rid of it. Man, I sound like we're a bunch of good for nothings!! But, in all honesty, my husband and I have owned several dogs over our lifetimes, and would welcome another into our home. The time will come, and it will be right. I know this sounds crazy, but it's one of my prayers lately. And, I pray that Rascal is in a safe, warm, loving place tonight.

~Melena

[ladyjane]

Melena,
It sounds to me like he only bites when he is intimidated. Is that what you are saying? If so, I personally feel that maybe you could help him. It just takes a very long time and a whole lot of patience.
I had a biter, my Maxwell, for 11 years and he bit me often in the beginning and much less in his final years. Yes...I am saying that he did bite me still after all of that time; but I grew to love him probably more (and I hate to say that) than any of my babies. He was a very special guy who really only knew to use his teeth to defend himself. Heaven only knows what happened to him prior to him walking in front of my car many years ago.
I now have another biter who is very similar, but thankfully has not bitten me quite as many times. Maybe I am just getting better at avoiding it. As for yelling and spraying water....I found those things to be quite useless. It only seemed to reinforce the fear they had that something would happen if they protected themselves. With Matty, my new one, when I see his head go down, I simply walk away from him. It is normally triggered by something such as an accident he has had in the house (I am sure he got in huge trouble for being a dog) ... or if he sees something new. I took the ironing board out the other night and he was in the corner looking frightened. I tried to call him over and he would not budge, so I ignored him. Eventually, he walked over and sniffed it. I then praised him and let him know what a good boy he was. I was advised by a trainer to let Matty know that I am the alpha....well that did NOT work...at least not in the way that they insist. Matty knows and listens to me...he is just frightened. I plan to continue only positive reinforcement with him for some time. I believe he will change just like Maxwell did...once they know they are no longer going to be hurt, they settle. As I said...Maxwell did not totally lose the fear...but he got to be such a wonderful pet and my friends all loved him. Everyone knew what things bothered him and we avoided putting him in those situations.
All in all it takes a TON of patience and it is not for everyone. I can hear in your message that you really care, so I shared my story so that you can take another look. In the end you might still believe it is too much...or maybe you can try again...and let him go at his pace. It could be much much longer than a few months.
Best wishes in whatever you decide to do. I think it is wonderful that you tried. It is so sad that people ruin these poor babies.

[menamc]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

Melena,
It sounds to me like he only bites when he is intimidated. Is that what you are saying? If so, I personally feel that maybe you could help him. It just takes a very long time and a whole lot of patience.
I had a biter, my Maxwell, for 11 years and he bit me often in the beginning and much less in his final years. Yes...I am saying that he did bite me still after all of that time; but I grew to love him probably more (and I hate to say that) than any of my babies. He was a very special guy who really only knew to use his teeth to defend himself. Heaven only knows what happened to him prior to him walking in front of my car many years ago.
I now have another biter who is very similar, but thankfully has not bitten me quite as many times. Maybe I am just getting better at avoiding it. As for yelling and spraying water....I found those things to be quite useless. It only seemed to reinforce the fear they had that something would happen if they protected themselves. With Matty, my new one, when I see his head go down, I simply walk away from him. It is normally triggered by something such as an accident he has had in the house (I am sure he got in huge trouble for being a dog) ... or if he sees something new. I took the ironing board out the other night and he was in the corner looking frightened. I tried to call him over and he would not budge, so I ignored him. Eventually, he walked over and sniffed it. I then praised him and let him know what a good boy he was. I was advised by a trainer to let Matty know that I am the alpha....well that did NOT work...at least not in the way that they insist. Matty knows and listens to me...he is just frightened. I plan to continue only positive reinforcement with him for some time. I believe he will change just like Maxwell did...once they know they are no longer going to be hurt, they settle. As I said...Maxwell did not totally lose the fear...but he got to be such a wonderful pet and my friends all loved him. Everyone knew what things bothered him and we avoided putting him in those situations.
All in all it takes a TON of patience and it is not for everyone. I can hear in your message that you really care, so I shared my story so that you can take another look. In the end you might still believe it is too much...or maybe you can try again...and let him go at his pace. It could be much much longer than a few months.
Best wishes in whatever you decide to do. I think it is wonderful that you tried. It is so sad that people ruin these poor babies.

Thanks, Jane. What a truly wonderful story.

How I wish I had met you people even just last week! For, I fear that it is just too late for Rascal in this house. And, although it pains me to say that, my number one reason is that I don't think that I could make him any better. I tried the Alpha thing to, and that did not work. We saw that his 'demonism' was progressively getting worse, unfortunately. It had NEVER been as bad as it was last weekend, and I don't know what triggered it. And, as I have said, I am just so afraid that I will make him worse if I bring him back into this house. And, I feel like he's already gone from here. I hope to a good, loving, warm home. I pray that every single night.

What a brave woman you are, though, for going through that! I commend you. Thank you for sharing your story.

~Melena

[ladyjane]

You did all that you could do or knew to do and trust me, not many people will even do that. I hear about biters a lot and it saddens me because there are not a lot of places that will take them.
I do not buy that alpha training with fear biters. Many times people mishandling them has made them that way and treating them in a forceful manner exaccerbates the problem.
I give them space and plenty of love. When they act crazy, I walk away and let them know they will not be hurt. Many of them are only biting at people because that is their only defense for what they fear is coming.
Of course I am not a dog trainer and that is only my theory and I only have two dogs as an example. They both came to my home like little wild animals and became sweet little ones...with some issues, but nothing like where they started. They also were both small...I am a chicken at heart and would not try it with a large dog.
Rascal will be fine...if that woman has promised to help him, I am sure she will. You are a good person for worrying about him and following up. And...you never know...someone might read all of this and want to go see him...or someone you tell the story to might do it. If I lived closer and if I did not have a biter now that I am working with, I would definitely have considered it. There are people out there who really do like to work with these guys to give them a second chance. I, myself, feel it is a rare dog that comes out of the womb mean and biting.
To me it sounds like you exhausted yourself trying and like everyone has said, you are to be commended for trying. It is a hard, hard, job and it is not for everyone.
I saw that you don't want to pay a rescue group's fees...but remember some are less than others....especially the all breed groups; and the dogs normally live in a foster home prior to adoption so you have a better idea of their temperament. Just look around and ask...your pet is out there somewhere.
Best wishes to you in a search for a pet.

[SophieRose]

Originally Posted by menamc

I'm sorry, but what is Caesar Milan? Thanks!!

Melena

I am going to ring in on this discussion. Ceasar's approach for an abused dog is not the answer to your problem with Rascal. He was hurt mentally and physically. Dogs that have been abused need so much patience and time to gain trust. Trust is the big issue. Charlie is frightened with a quick movement and today, he saw from the car window a person walking with a cane and growled until they were out of sight. Obviously, the poor little pup was hurt with a metal cane during his years of instability.

It is sad, but an abused dog will even be grateful for any attention they receive especially from the abuser. You tried but it sounds like this wasn't the right time for you.

Hopefully, he will go into a rescue situation that has no expectations from him. That is one of the greatest problems with abused animals, our expectations for them to be normal in a short amount of time.

This note is not directed at you because you gave him a memory of kindness but to others who think the neglected pup is the same as one loved and cherish from puppyhood.

[menamc]

Hi Sophie!

I know you said that your post wasn't directed at me, but I do want to say this.

We never expected him to be perfect, ever. We didn't even expect him to grow out of most of his problems over the period of time that we had him. What we did expect was to see some positive change, and what we were seeing was a 180 from when he got here regarding the growling/snarling/not letting us in the room, or being able to touch him. It was actually getting worse every day.

Just wanted to say that! It's been a week today since Rascal has been gone. I haven't cried since last Tuesday, and even though I still miss him GREATLY, I still think I did the right thing. I've been really really busy lately trying to get my new house in order for my MIL to see it on Friday and our Memorial Day party on Sunday with about 40 people, so I'm hoping that even though that's taking him off my mind, that I won't crash once everything is over with. Meaning that this may be taking him off my mind, but it could be a bad thing as well, for I could just be blocking it right now.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!!

~~Melena

[SophieRose]

I am sure you didn't expect him to be perfect. He was just scared and has probably been scared all of his life. When I wrote, the message addressed the earlier thread telling you to use Ceasar's way (Alpha male, etc).

That method of training just doesn't work with an abused and/neglected dog or any animal.

You did try your best and even though there were moments he seemed to relax, he just couldn't trust.

Take care and please remember he wasn't a terrible dog, just a scared dog.

[Janie616]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss ....

[AMD]

I'm so sorry your baby is gone!! I hope he returns home safe and sound soon!!!

[Tiger's Mom]

What a very sad story and sure is quite hearbreaking. I can only imagine what this little creature has gone through. I feel you want to do so much but unable to . . .perhaps you would consider getting a puppy instead? They are definitely less challenging.

Good luck on your continued search for the perfect yorkie.

[ellie81]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you can find one soon.