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Old 09-12-2016, 07:50 AM   #1
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Default Not sure I can survive losing both my girls. Please help me

2016 has been an awful year so far. I personally have had two major surgeries. But the worse of it is back in the early spring the vet told me my little Shih Tzu has trachea problems and enlarged heart and congestive heart failure. She is 14 and I was shocked because this came on so fast. But it seems the medicine is helping the trachea and the heart medicine is not improving of course but helping her to hold her own. I was informed three years would be a long time for her to have left

Last week I took my 16 year old Yorkie to the vet because she was falling down. She would just be standing there and than fall over, but bounce right back up. This was happening more often so I figured she better be checked out. She has had a heart murmur for years but it never seemed to bother her. She has been on Thyroid med for a couple of years also. Now Hanna has had dementia for a couple of years now and is almost completely blind. But her hearing is great, she just can't understand much anymore.

Well I asked the vet to check her out completely, to make sure everything was working as it should be and her meds were still right. Xrays, blood work etc. I don't know if I am glad or sorry I had this done.

I was shocked to learn Hanna also has an enlarged heart, congestive heart failure and the murmur has gotten bad enough he could not only hear it but feel it on her side. They had to put her on a fluid pill like Tiffany, and they are both on heart meds 2 times a day and they had to double Hannas thyroid medicine.

He told me neither girl really has long left. They still love us, pretty much like to eat but sleep most of the time and now Hannas falling over happens 3 or 4 times a day.

I just don't know how I am gonna get through this period of knowing I am going to lose them both and that each day could be the last.

Everyone is saying you need to get a puppy, NO! I can not imagine ever loving like this again knowing how bad I am hurting watching my babies go away a piece at a time.

They are not in pain. I would not allow that as bad as it would be, but this is totally killing me. The vet said too many things can be causing Hanna to fall over so there is no treatment. They are both on more meds than I am, so I don't know of anything more I can do.

Neither dog is fighting for breath, they have coughing fits but no gasping or turning blue. I would not make them suffer like that

How do you who have been through this many times endure it??? It is a battle to do anything with the family because I don't want to leave the girls alone and I am always on the brink of tears if not outright crying. I did not realize how much I loved these girls and I just don't know how to handle this part of their life. I know love them and all that but how do you deal with the pain that is eats you up daily, knowing you are going to have to let them go?

I have dealt with sudden death from family members, but nothing like this. This knowing what is happening, this seeing the changes every day. I am 68 years old and cry every day, hold them closer every day, and my heart is breaking every day. It's just too much pain, too much sadness. I don't know how to get through it.
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Old 09-12-2016, 09:17 AM   #2
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I am sorry you are going through so much in one year, and that you are worried about your girls, Hanna and Tiffany. Seeing our pups age and cope with senior issues is hard.

Knowing that the day will come when we have to let our babies go is the hardest part of loving them.

We never know when that day will come. Try not to let it overwhelm you. My boys are 7 and I have to remind myself not to worry about how much time they have left. Like you, I can't imagine life without them.

Focus on enjoying one day at a time with Hanna and Tiffany, making them comfortable and letting them know they are loved.
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Old 09-12-2016, 10:15 AM   #3
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I have had 4 precious babies leave me and it doesn't get easier. I know your pain. We know we love our babies deeply, but never realize the depth of that love until we love them. My last girl was 17 yo, she had dementia for a couple of years, was 99% blind and deaf, she also slept most of the time. She ate well and would play with me although it was a diff. style of playing because she could neither see or hear. Then one day she wouldn't eat, I hand feed her anything and everything I knew she LOVED, she would eat a wee amount. After 36 hours without eating a full amount of food off we went to the vet. Cut to the chase because this is still very hard on me, 7 days in vet hospital I was told I had to say good bye to my girl. I have had to put several girls down and none of them was an easy thing to do, but my Matese was extra special to me. Letting her go was overwhelming the pain in my heart was unbearable, I always knew I loved her deeply but when she was gone is when I realized how deeply I loved her. I swore no more dogs, I just could not go through that pain again. However, not planned or expected 6 weeks after having to let my girl go my vet gifted me with a little boy, 2.5 yo. We are a team for 3 years now.He has filled that empty spot in my heart. I tell you this because I went through what you are going through. I saw my girl getting older although she was healthy I knew a day would come. I would hold her close and cry and ask god to please not take her from me, she was 14 yo at this time, I was blessed to have her another 3 years. I would not consider a puppy, I wanted to devote all my attention to my senior girl. My heart is just breaking for you, the possibility of losing two is just to overwhelming. Love them everyday, cuddle them everyday as everyday is a gift to you. I will not advise getting a puppy as my personal opinion is, it is not fair to your seniors, they need all your love and attention. Do not think that you can never love another baby, that is what I thought and found that was no so, I love my lil boy, not the same way that I did my special girl, but I do LOVE this lil guy. I wish there were words I could say that would help ease this painful time in your life. I will keep you and your babies in my prayers (((hugs)))
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Old 09-12-2016, 11:57 AM   #4
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I am so sorry hugs to you and your precious babies
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Old 09-12-2016, 05:24 PM   #5
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I am sorry to hear about your sorrow. We lost a sixteen and a half year old yorkie almost four years ago, and it was hard. I drew comfort from the fact that it was truly her time to go, particularly after two years of diapers when she lost all control of any type of elimination. Less than a year ago, we lost a sweet puppy (truly, she wasn't even 18 months old) to complications after surgery for atlantoaxial instability. That was even more devastating for us.

This is clearly not a good time for a puppy. It would stress your elderly, sick babies, and I suspect you need time to grieve. It took me a year after losing the sixteen year old-I just wasn't ready for the responsibility again, or to set myself up for loss. Now we have two, one who will be three years old later this month, and sweet Maggie, who the breeder gave us to replace little Millie.

Enjoy every day with your sweeties-you are the most important factor in their lives, and when the time comes, you will know what to do. Just like us, they don't have expiration dates, and they may surprise you with how long they can live comfortably.
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Old 09-13-2016, 08:14 AM   #6
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I want to thank you so much for your sharing your experiences. It does help a bit to know there are others who totally understand the pain involved. Yesterday Hanna had a horrible day, she must have fallen 10 times if she fell once. But never hurting herself, she just goes down and pops back up. I decided than to put her on daily pain meds. My husband and I chuckled that we may have a little doper on our hands but we didn't care. Last night her mind was bad, she was having sundowners. But Tiffany seems to have settled into her meds ok but she just isn't quit her usual self. Nothing I can put my finger on though. I decided last night this week end I am gonna have their stroller pulled out of the rv (I'm still not allowed to lift anything) and take them for walks everyday. They can still hear and smell and love going for rides so they will see or hear something new each day. Today Hanna is doing much better, hasn't fallen once so maybe the pain meds are helping. No I will not be getting a puppy, all my attention will be on them for the rest of their time with us. Thank you all, I so very much appreciate your help, understanding and encouragement.

Last edited by LindaLS; 09-13-2016 at 08:16 AM.
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Old 09-13-2016, 08:22 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by LindaLS View Post
I decided last night this week end I am gonna have their stroller pulled out of the rv (I'm still not allowed to lift anything) and take them for walks everyday. They can still hear and smell and love going for rides so they will see or hear something new each day.
That is a great idea! I agree that the stimulation of enjoying a stroller ride is good, the scents and sounds. Your girls are lucky to have a great mom. Sending you well wishes in your recuperation too.
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Old 09-13-2016, 11:08 AM   #8
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Sorry to hear about the diagnosis for both your girls. That's so sad and scary! If they're both still doing okay and not struggling right now, I guess best thing to do is just enjoy each day, love them and spend as much time with them as you can.

I had this same feeling for my previous baby. At the time, I had no idea dogs could live passed 15 yrs (during the pre-Internet days). I read in a couple books that dogs lived to 8 or 10. So when she hit 8 yrs, I was SO sad...thinking she was going to leave me soon. But she was relatively healthy, despite needing medication for her heart murmur and medication to relieve joint pains. Each year would pass and I would cherish it to the max. She lived until 19, which was quite the shocker!

As others mentioned, I really don't think it gets easier. I personally grieved the loss of my baby for 3 years...before getting my two current ones right now. I wish dogs lived the same number of years as humans do
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Old 09-13-2016, 02:09 PM   #9
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I want to thank you so much for your sharing your experiences. It does help a bit to know there are others who totally understand the pain involved. Yesterday Hanna had a horrible day, she must have fallen 10 times if she fell once. But never hurting herself, she just goes down and pops back up. I decided than to put her on daily pain meds. My husband and I chuckled that we may have a little doper on our hands but we didn't care. Last night her mind was bad, she was having sundowners. But Tiffany seems to have settled into her meds ok but she just isn't quit her usual self. Nothing I can put my finger on though. I decided last night this week end I am gonna have their stroller pulled out of the rv (I'm still not allowed to lift anything) and take them for walks everyday. They can still hear and smell and love going for rides so they will see or hear something new each day. Today Hanna is doing much better, hasn't fallen once so maybe the pain meds are helping. No I will not be getting a puppy, all my attention will be on them for the rest of their time with us. Thank you all, I so very much appreciate your help, understanding and encouragement.

Your love is what will make this time best for them. I am sorry it is such a hard time... hugs
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Old 09-14-2016, 11:52 AM   #10
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So sorry.I lost two of my girls last year and still can't believe it. I often dream of them at night. They only lived 10 years but left a puppy to help fill their places. Joys and sorrows of having dogs. You are doing a wonderful job with them and I know that your memories of them will be filled with happiness.
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Old 09-14-2016, 01:39 PM   #11
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Dear Linda, I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is so hard, I know. I lost my little Heart Daisy this past October to cancer, then my sweet little Teddy Bear suddenly passed away in February of kidney failure, then in March my twin brother passed away from cancer. It was so hard losing all three of them in just 5 months time. I didn't think I would make it through. I really expected to have both of my pups for 17 years or more and they both passed away unexpectedly just after they turned 12 years old. Not nearly enough time. I have to constantly remind myself and my husband that God only loans them to us for a very short time, and then He calls our dear little ones back to be with Him until we can join them again.

I didn't think I could ever have another dog after loving my babies so much. But suddenly after 4 months of losing them, I couldn't handle the pain of no little paws in the house any more. I started going to shelters to see if any of the doggies would be a match for me. In June I found two little 8 month old bonded yorkie/maltese mixes. I knew when I first laid eyes on their pictures online that they were my perfect match. I went to see them already knowing that they were mine. They are now at home here with us and they are slowly progressing into being normal doggies that aren't afraid of everything.

I still think of Daisy and Teddy Bear constantly with a heavy heart. I will never be over the loss, ever. I still cry a lot. But I have a new mission in life now, and that is to heal two broken little puppies hearts. They are certainly helping to heal mine. I had forgotten how challenging it is to have puppies, but the rewards I am receiving daily watching them learn to be loved and learning simple things like playing, make it all worth while. I love them so much.

You sound like a great yorkie parent and you don't want your babies to suffer. I can relate to that. Please remember all the good times and the joy your babies brought to you when it is time to let them be free from pain and sickness. It is the best thing you can do to show them the love you have for them. I always believed that animals know when their time is near and they accept it very well. Much better than we do.

God bless you and I pray that you will find strength. Hugs,
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Old 09-15-2016, 03:28 AM   #12
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Thank you all, you have no idea how your words help me, when here all I hear from my family is "Don't you think it's time to put them down" Seriously when that time comes I will do it as them being in pain is the worse thing I can think of. I see Hanna deteriorating, she has suddenly developed this trembling thing when she tries to get moving. Will stand there shaky as if frozen in place and all of a sudden it lets lose and she is about her business. But no crying in pain, just frozen shakes and then off she goes like nothing is unusual. I also see her happy moments, at dinner time she gets my attention and than when I start pulling out the meds and there food she begins running from the den, through the kitchen, into the living room and will repeat her little dance about 3 or 4 times. Ok she doesn't run as fast as she use to but still does this each evening. Then she will come over to the counter and bark at me until I have everything ready. She may slip and slide but you can tell she is happy and she eats every bit of her dinner. Now Tiffany has always been a bit of a lady and she will lay on the floor with her coat spread out in such a dignified manner and wait for her food to be ready. But once it is on the floor, all dignity is gone and so is the food. At 5:00 they both still go to the front door and sit for an hour waiting for my husband to get home and they both give him a dance for their evening cookie from him. So I know they still have lots of love for life, it may not be as before but they still are happy little girls. My heart breaks for each one that has lost a little furbaby especially during times of other loses, but you are all correct. Take every bit of good we can get and love them as much as possible. I am gonna do my best to concentrate on the good that is left and not spoil it with tears. Love you guys, thanks for your help and blessings for each of your furbabies.
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Old 09-29-2016, 04:25 AM   #13
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Unlove Hanna left us yesterday I miss her so much

R.I.P. my very special baby "Hannamaye of Alabama" her AKC name,
Jan 2000 - Sept 28, 2016 Today my heart is shattered. Hanna went to be with the Lord, well that is what I shall believe. That I will see her again with my Misty

Something happen the night before she was frantic for a while and running around the house with her head to the side. I am sure she had a stroke but than she settled down. I was warned this might happen, it was evening so nobody to call and really nothing to be done. Found out those trembles were seizures just very minor for the last month or so.

Yesterday morning when we got up I knew something had changed. Nothing you could see but as I took her out of her crate I could just "feel" a difference in her. I put her and Tiffanys breakfast down and neither one would eat a bit.
When I took them out Hanna seemed to walk in circles and lean to the left. Than she would have the trembles for a second and fall down.

This is at 5:00am so vet is still closed but somehow I knew it didn't make a difference. I held her, cuddled her and her mind was just gone. For the next three hours I saw changes take place, the seizures just increased each hour to the point I called the vet and said it was time. I could not endure seeing her go through this, I had to let her go, say goodbye.

I called my daughter as I am still not allowed to drive and asked her to take us to the vet. I called and made the arrangements for her. Dr Ellenburg was wonderful, so gentle and kind and understanding. Hanna felt no pain and crossed over while in my arms. I will miss her and love her forever but I am grateful she is no longer suffering as it was her time. It hurts so much, too much for words.

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement and understanding. I wanted you to know Hanna is at peace now.
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Old 09-29-2016, 05:10 AM   #14
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I am so sad for you! The next few days and weeks will have extremely difficult moments, but please rest assured that you gave your sweet little girl every chance to live the best life she could for as long as she could. Hold your other sweet baby close and comfort each other today.

I will be thinking of you.
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Old 09-29-2016, 06:48 AM   #15
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I am so very sorry for your loss of Hanna. Sending out hug's to you.
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