Ok Ladies, need some advice... Sorry it may be a little long

[cribal]

Ok I have to start out by letting you know the whole situation so you will understand and be able to give me your best opinion on what you would do.

I'm the office manager of my Step Dad and his brothers Electrical Company. (They are equal owners/partners) In the past 5 years that I have worked here my stepdad's brother Robbie's son has worked here on and off about 6 or 7 times. (The son's name is Aaron) He leaves without notice and just comes back when he wants. Or he's left a couple time b/c of being put in jail or to get out of state b/c there were warrants out for him. (His a real winner, can't you tell) Well, about 4 months ago he came back to NC and said he wanted to straighten his life out and come back to work so they gave him his damn job back again. Since he's been gone my husband has started to work here (in auagust it will be a year)

Ok here's the deal..... I'm really pissed and this is the last straw and I'm wondering if I should break everything loose or just suck it up and me and my husband just find other jobs, I just don't want to work here with him anymore...

So nobody at work like's Aaron. He's the owners son and knows it and doesn't do any work. Nobody tells the owners b/c he's robbies son and he won't do anything about it. Well Aaron smokes pot and takes pills and just a regular drug head. His family says that they think he's straightned up but I don't think their that stupid.

Well here's what's pissed me off. I found out that he smokes a joint in the company van on the way to work every morning. Well, my husband said he told him not to do it but he just laughed and so my husband is in the back of the van with the windows rolled up being smoked out by him. (the other employee won't dare say anything b/c aaron's the owners son and my husband is new in this family so he doesn't want to stirr the waters) Ok, well my husband ended up getting a conact from it and was high for about an hour being at the job. My husband smoked pot once in his life and it was enough for him to never want to do it again and now he had to go through that not wanting to. Well my main concern is... What if my husband gets hurt on the job in a couple days and workers comp wants to give him a drug test and he would probly fail it and we wouldn't get compensated. (I know that's doubtful, but my husband is a clutz..LOL) This really pisses me off but my husband doesn't want to say anything. Aaron isn't a friend but Stephen and him go fishing everyonce in a while and so i guess he is kinda a friend and if I tell my step-dad this then he probly won't speak to me again. I don't think I really care about that anyways.

So what do you think I should do? Do I tell? Do I keep my mouth shut? He shows up messed up on methadones all the time. He's scratching all over and f***ed up all day while he's at work.

Opinion PLEASE.....THANKS

Crystal

Oh yea, Should I tell them that he's the one who's been coming in the fence at night and stealing our scrap wire also. He has it all in a building at his mom's house where he's staying. It's probly about $500.00 to $1,000.00 that he's taken.

[LuvMySissy]

You are in a tough situation here. You are correct that your hubby would probably test positive (though on the low side) if he were to be drug tested. Pot stays in the system the longest of all drugs (as much as 30 days). So you are right to be concerned.

It might just be best to get other jobs for you and your husband (easier said than done I'm sure). If his family has any brains, they know he's still using, but they obviously has lots of co-dependency issues and are continuing to enable his behavior. You are probably damned if you say anything. So, if you do, make darn sure you are ready to sever all ties.

Wishing you lots of luck here, cause you are going to need it!

[JeanieK]

I would tell, what is the worst that could happen? You'd have to look for a new job, which you are already considering doing.

It's not easy being a snitch, but someone's like could be endangered by this fools actions.


Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

[Zoey's Momma]

Originally Posted by LuvMySissy

You are in a tough situation here. You are correct that your hubby would probably test positive (though on the low side) if he were to be drug tested. Pot stays in the system the longest of all drugs (as much as 30 days). So you are right to be concerned.

It might just be best to get other jobs for you and your husband (easier said than done I'm sure). If his family has any brains, they know he's still using, but they obviously has lots of co-dependency issues and are continuing to enable his behavior. You are probably damned if you say anything. So, if you do, make darn sure you are ready to sever all ties.

Wishing you lots of luck here, cause you are going to need it!

I could've said it better.
No need to offend your family, but they need to use common sense!

[veguroev]

I think you should tell all that to your step dad and start looking for a new job too.

[cribal]

Originally Posted by LuvMySissy

You are in a tough situation here. You are correct that your hubby would probably test positive (though on the low side) if he were to be drug tested. Pot stays in the system the longest of all drugs (as much as 30 days). So you are right to be concerned.

It might just be best to get other jobs for you and your husband (easier said than done I'm sure). If his family has any brains, they know he's still using, but they obviously has lots of co-dependency issues and are continuing to enable his behavior. You are probably damned if you say anything. So, if you do, make darn sure you are ready to sever all ties.

Wishing you lots of luck here, cause you are going to need it!

Yea, I know about the pot being in the system for 30 days. That's a long time and like I said my husband is a clutz.... Well I wanna find another job but the whole purpose of my husband coming to start working here was b/c we are eventually suppose to take over my ste-dad's side of the business. But now I'm thinking that what if my step-dad's brother passes the other half to his drug addict son and were stuck with him ruining the business for both of us. Maybe we should find other jobs and then tell my step-dad... DA*N I don't know what to do.

Crystal

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by cribal

Yea, I know about the pot being in the system for 30 days. That's a long time and like I said my husband is a clutz.... Well I wanna find another job but the whole purpose of my husband coming to start working here was b/c we are eventually suppose to take over my ste-dad's side of the business. But now I'm thinking that what if my step-dad's brother passes the other half to his drug addict son and were stuck with him ruining the business for both of us. Maybe we should find other jobs and then tell my step-dad... DA*N I don't know what to do.

Crystal

Odds are that he knows that man is doing this stuff, just possibly not at work.. Convince your husband to stand up for himself and the other workers, be more assertive and talk to the boss. Tell him not to be judgemental or evaluative... Just descriptive. Tell the boss exactly what's happening and how it's making him and the others feel. Tell your husband to try to think of a way where everyone will be happy, like recommend not to necessarily fire the guy but to have him cleaning something out back instead. He probably won't be around much longer anyways since he's still doing drugs.
I'm sure that any boss would fix this problem and appreciate your husband's input. It can be dangerous for someone high to be on the job, especially if the other's lives depended on him. I'm sure the boss will drug test him and go from there. It's tough talking to a boss, but when you all are unhappy someone's got to do it. I wouldn't be too mad at the boss since no one has talked to him about it yet. Your husband might be surprised at the outcome of it all. I think the boss would appreciate your husband's opinions.

[LuvMySissy]

Originally Posted by cribal

Yea, I know about the pot being in the system for 30 days. That's a long time and like I said my husband is a clutz.... Well I wanna find another job but the whole purpose of my husband coming to start working here was b/c we are eventually suppose to take over my ste-dad's side of the business. But now I'm thinking that what if my step-dad's brother passes the other half to his drug addict son and were stuck with him ruining the business for both of us. Maybe we should find other jobs and then tell my step-dad... DA*N I don't know what to do.

Perhaps like JeanieK suggested, if you talk to just your stepdad and let him know the potential liability here, he might intervene. As 1/2 owner he should have the ability to impose rules and have a strong say in what goes on in his business. However, it is realistic that his brother would give his son his share. If you are not able to buy out his brother's share (or he doesn't want to sell) you could be stuck. I believe that everyone deserves to be given another chance if their behavior warrants it, but in this case NOT.

[cribal]

Originally Posted by LuvMySissy

Perhaps like JeanieK suggested, if you talk to just your stepdad and let him know the potential liability here, he might intervene. As 1/2 owner he should have the ability to impose rules and have a strong say in what goes on in his business. However, it is realistic that his brother would give his son his share. If you are not able to buy out his brother's share (or he doesn't want to sell) you could be stuck. I believe that everyone deserves to be given another chance if their behavior warrants it, but in this case NOT.

Yes, I believe in being given a second chance b/c I know I've had my share but there's a time when we all need to grow up and I don't feel he's going to ever do it. His dad won't put his foot down and let him learn his lessons. He always bails him out of jail and gives him a job every time he comes home and says I'm gonna do good this time. He's 27 years old, has 4 kids by three different moms, doesn't pay child support and the only reason he's back in NC is b/c he has warrant's out for his arrest in New Orlean's. His dad know's all this and oesn't try and make him resposible for it. I know his to old for his dad to tell him what to do but damn don't support him by giving him a job and letting him run from the law. My step-family is messed up.

Crystal

[cribal]

I guess I just need to tell my step-dad what's going on. If nothing changes then I guess we'll be looking for new jobs.

Well he's at the beach for the weekend so I'll tell him on Monday. I don't want to give him something to worry about while he's on vacation.

Crystal

Thanks everyone for your input.... This is soooo frustrating

[LuvMySissy]

Originally Posted by cribal

Yes, I believe in being given a second chance b/c I know I've had my share but there's a time when we all need to grow up and I don't feel he's going to ever do it. His dad won't put his foot down and let him learn his lessons. He always bails him out of jail and gives him a job every time he comes home and says I'm gonna do good this time. He's 27 years old, has 4 kids by three different moms, doesn't pay child support and the only reason he's back in NC is b/c he has warrant's out for his arrest in New Orlean's. His dad know's all this and oesn't try and make him resposible for it. I know his to old for his dad to tell him what to do but damn don't support him by giving him a job and letting him run from the law. My step-family is messed up.

Definitely co-dependency and enabling behavior. He doesn't have a prayer to change as long as his family is in so deep. Too bad his dad doesn't realize he's only helping him to continue to be a disaster!

[red98vett]

If he's stealing from the company and you know where he's keeping the material - you can make a phone call - no one needs to know it's you - and if I were you - I'd talk to his dad. For sure - I wouldn't walk away - I'd speak up. He's jeopardising the whole company getting high in work vehicles.

[ssguzzy]

I would definetly say something, if he is smoking pot and taking drugs while driving a company car:

1. The probability that he may kill someone while driving is high.

2. the liabilility to the company if something happens will more than likely be high if they are sued.

3. If this is a family buisness you have a vested interest in it and you have the right to voice your concern.

4. The fact that others have to be subjected to his pot smoking as your husband had to endure is reason enough.

If they give you a problem because you voiced your concern then you dont want to work for a company like that even if it is family.

Good luck I know this cant be easy for you. Let us know how it goes.

[yougetthesmiles]

working with family has to be the hardest thing to do. But if I were in your shoes I would go to your mom and tell her the situation and maybe you and her could then go to your step dad. This Aaron is getting away with way to much and something needs to be done. Maybe a call to the police is in order and turn his druggy butt in.

[cribal]

Originally Posted by ssguzzy

I would definetly say something, if he is smoking pot and taking drugs while driving a company car:

1. The probability that he may kill someone while driving is high.

2. the liabilility to the company if something happens will more than likely be high if they are sued.

3. If this is a family buisness you have a vested interest in it and you have the right to voice your concern.

4. The fact that others have to be subjected to his pot smoking as your husband had to endure is reason enough.

If they give you a problem because you voiced your concern then you dont want to work for a company like that even if it is family.

Good luck I know this cant be easy for you. Let us know how it goes.

Well the only good thing about what you posted is that he isn't driving the work vehicle to the job site's. He doesn't have a license b/c of to many DWI's or DUI's I don't know the difference but drinking and driving. Now he does take the work vehicle's out while their at job site's (like to go and get a drink from the store). I guess that's something I need to let them know also. The company could get in alot of trouble if he would wereck a vehicle with no license and being messed up.