Husband on Strike

[suz]

Originally Posted by StewiesMom

I totally agree w/ that guy. I think he's making his point.

I think that children sleeping in bed is awful. My step sis lets my FIVE nephews sleep in bed w/ her. She has no control over them and they're all uber dependent. Her hubby sleeps on the couch or on the floor of the bedroom. What happens when she or one of her other four kids rolls over onto the newborn? It will inevitabley happen.

With 4 kids in bed w/her and husband on the couch (or floor) I am surprised that she even HAS a newborn!!!

[chewysmom]

Originally Posted by Tashasmom

NO you didn't directly point your finger at me. But you more or less said it just the same.
Instead of guessing why some parents do or accusing..why don't you just ask? Ask me why my oldest slept with me..ask me why my youngest does. Don't just assume I am a bad parent. Just cause the majority puts their child in their own bed does that mean they are all good parents. NO i think not.
I was 17 when I had my first. I was young with no dad or anyone for that matter. He wanted to sleep with me so i let him.
My youngest when we first adopted him he had to be tested for devolopmental delayment along with other things. He also bout died when he was 2. He had a rough two years..we put him in bed with us because we were afraid he would have an asthma attack and stop breathing. He was in the hospital more than he wasn't..so now do you really think that makes me bad or him a bad child? If you do thats fine. My husband and I enjoy our kids enjoy being parents thats what matters to us.

I did not point my finger at you and I did not say it to you "just the same". In the cases of which I spoke, I did not need to guess, I actually know and I never accused anyone I don't know of doing something I have no knowledge of. As I stated in my post I was speaking of particular people that I know. Please don't make this into something it's not or try to put words in my mouth.

[jkat]

Originally Posted by Tashasmom

NO you didn't directly point your finger at me. But you more or less said it just the same.
Instead of guessing why some parents do or accusing..why don't you just ask? Ask me why my oldest slept with me..ask me why my youngest does. Don't just assume I am a bad parent. Just cause the majority puts their child in their own bed does that mean they are all good parents. NO i think not.
I was 17 when I had my first. I was young with no dad or anyone for that matter. He wanted to sleep with me so i let him.
My youngest when we first adopted him he had to be tested for devolopmental delayment along with other things. He also bout died when he was 2. He had a rough two years..we put him in bed with us because we were afraid he would have an asthma attack and stop breathing. He was in the hospital more than he wasn't..so now do you really think that makes me bad or him a bad child? If you do thats fine. My husband and I enjoy our kids enjoy being parents thats what matters to us.

Dear Tashasmom,

It's quite sad to read about your child's condition. I'm sorry it happened to you. We do not mean to point at you and say "because of this...you're a bad parent". Of course, everyone has their own situations to deal with. In your case, it was a difficult one.

In general, most parents are not like you. Parents that are "lazy", they are the ones who ruined and put a bad name for you. Unfortunately, you're in a small population. The lazy parents we're referring belong in the larger population where we DO see them more often.

To say by allowing a child to sleep in the same bed with the parents is a bad behavior isn't wrong either. It is a start of other bad behaviors IF you let it continue and expand into other areas of their lives. I mean, every child (and myself, I remember) will have bad behaviors. That's why people are not perfect. But, if a good parent, like yourself, can and able to correct and minimize those bad behaviors, you're doing a good job.

I hope you're not offended by what people are saying. It's just we all have seen too many bad parenting out there.

Kathy

[vainchick5]

Originally Posted by jkat

Dear Tashasmom,

It's quite sad to read about your child's condition. I'm sorry it happened to you. We do not mean to point at you and say "because of this...you're a bad parent". Of course, everyone has their own situations to deal with. In your case, it was a difficult one.

In general, most parents are not like you. Parents that are "lazy", they are the ones who ruined and put a bad name for you. Unfortunately, you're in a small population. The lazy parents we're referring belong in the larger population where we DO see them more often.

To say by allowing a child to sleep in the same bed with the parents is a bad behavior isn't wrong either. It is a start of other bad behaviors IF you let it continue and expand into other areas of their lives. I mean, every child (and myself, I remember) will have bad behaviors. That's why people are not perfect. But, if a good parent, like yourself, can and able to correct and minimize those bad behaviors, you're doing a good job.

I hope you're not offended by what people are saying. It's just we all have seen too many bad parenting out there.

Kathy

well said.

[bchgirl]

Personally I don't care where anyone else's kids sleep nor the reasons. I'd rather they behaved in public....

[txshopper73]

I've been guilty of allowing my kids to sleep with me. My daughter did for a while (long while) but that was because we had a cabin and she didn't have her own bedroom. They don't sleep with me anymore...well, I can't say that either. On rare occasion if my daughter is staying at a friend's house and hubby is working nights, I'll let my son sleep with me.

[Tashasmom]

I'm sorry I took such offense to this. For years I've heard that kids from teen moms are bad..oh she dropped out of high school her kids will too ( i got my ged later and went to college for some classes) I have been a statistic since the day I had my first child and I"m hear to say those statisitcs are a bunch of crap. I think it's each and every individual person. I am a housewife. I could say every mom that works her kids will grow up feeling unloved and they will rebel. Is that fair? Is it true? I know everyone has their own opinion. Just like if we were having one on working moms. How I feel about that would probably rile alot up. But it's how I feel and I also feel that if you work it doesn't mean your kids aare heathens..do you understand what i'm saying. I hope so cause I know i'm not explaining it very good.
I can tell you this my kids would be picking theirselves up off the floor if they EVER talked to me the way i see some kids talk to their parents. I love them and will always protect them but i DEMAND their respect and in return I give them respect.
Anyway i'm sorry i came across so harsh about this topic..TRUCE?

[jkat]

Originally Posted by Tashasmom

Anyway i'm sorry i came across so harsh about this topic..TRUCE?

Of course!

You're right, being part of a stigma that carries such bad image is harsh already. You have to make what's the best of it.

Statements that come out from these studies aren't ALL wrong either. It is true working moms have a harder time giving their time and attention to their kids. However, again, based on individuals, it still can be achieved. That being said, it does NOT mean the working moms don't love their kids. They do! It's just harder for the kids to see.

We can only take these statements that come out of the studies and be conscious of our doings so that we don't become part of the statistics.


Kathy

[vainchick5]

Originally Posted by Tashasmom

I'm sorry I took such offense to this. For years I've heard that kids from teen moms are bad..oh she dropped out of high school her kids will too ( i got my ged later and went to college for some classes) I have been a statistic since the day I had my first child and I"m hear to say those statisitcs are a bunch of crap. I think it's each and every individual person. I am a housewife. I could say every mom that works her kids will grow up feeling unloved and they will rebel. Is that fair? Is it true? I know everyone has their own opinion. Just like if we were having one on working moms. How I feel about that would probably rile alot up. But it's how I feel and I also feel that if you work it doesn't mean your kids aare heathens..do you understand what i'm saying. I hope so cause I know i'm not explaining it very good.
I can tell you this my kids would be picking theirselves up off the floor if they EVER talked to me the way i see some kids talk to their parents. I love them and will always protect them but i DEMAND their respect and in return I give them respect.
Anyway i'm sorry i came across so harsh about this topic..TRUCE?

I probably would have had the same position as you, if I was in your situation. No worries, and I'm sorry you had to go through all of that

[Tashasmom]

Thank you and I just wanted to say I know working moms have it hard and I"m not saying anything negative about them having to work. Sometimes I wish I had a career or heck even a job. But I chose this way cause it works best for me and my family. I have a sister in law that has a career a husband and 3 kids and i've never seen someone so good at juggling it all. I am totally in awe of how good of a mom, business woman and wife that she is. And sometimes I even get jealous of how she manages to have it all and be good at doing it all.

[JeanieK]

Originally Posted by Tashasmom

I'm sorry I took such offense to this. For years I've heard that kids from teen moms are bad..oh she dropped out of high school her kids will too ( i got my ged later and went to college for some classes) I have been a statistic since the day I had my first child and I"m hear to say those statisitcs are a bunch of crap. I think it's each and every individual person. I am a housewife. I could say every mom that works her kids will grow up feeling unloved and they will rebel. Is that fair? Is it true? I know everyone has their own opinion. Just like if we were having one on working moms. How I feel about that would probably rile alot up. But it's how I feel and I also feel that if you work it doesn't mean your kids aare heathens..do you understand what i'm saying. I hope so cause I know i'm not explaining it very good.
I can tell you this my kids would be picking theirselves up off the floor if they EVER talked to me the way i see some kids talk to their parents. I love them and will always protect them but i DEMAND their respect and in return I give them respect.
Anyway i'm sorry i came across so harsh about this topic..TRUCE?

You are right, we were stereotyping, and that is not right. Not everyone fits into the same box.

Unfortunately, as you can see, the majority of the population has a problem with children sleeping with their parents.

I admire you for having the courage to speak up and defend yourself, knowing that popular opinion was against you. Maybe the rest of us will learn to get all the facts before we make judgements.

In the case of the striking husband, however, if he doesn't like the kids sharing his bed, then she should respect his feelings too.

[Tiger's Mom]

Originally Posted by Tashasmom

Thank you and I just wanted to say I know working moms have it hard and I"m not saying anything negative about them having to work. Sometimes I wish I had a career or heck even a job. But I chose this way cause it works best for me and my family. I have a sister in law that has a career a husband and 3 kids and i've never seen someone so good at juggling it all. I am totally in awe of how good of a mom, business woman and wife that she is. And sometimes I even get jealous of how she manages to have it all and be good at doing it all.

What are you talking about . . . to me you have the best career ever , and I would have killed to be able to be in your shoes if I could afford to be a stay-home mom for my one and only child when she was growing up. For me, that was my "dream job".

[Tashasmom]

Originally Posted by JeanieK

You are right, we were stereotyping, and that is not right. Not everyone fits into the same box.

Unfortunately, as you can see, the majority of the population has a problem with children sleeping with their parents.

I admire you for having the courage to speak up and defend yourself, knowing that popular opinion was against you. Maybe the rest of us will learn to get all the facts before we make judgements.

In the case of the striking husband, however, if he doesn't like the kids sharing his bed, then she should respect his feelings too.

Thank you and don't worry we all do it including me.
I totally agree with the husband on strike. He should have just as much say in this as his wife. My girls didn't want to sleep with us (unless they had a bad dream or didn't feel good) and I never encouraged it. I do think kids need to sleep in their own bed. I know that may come as a surprise. But I also think that if they are afraid they should be allowed to get in bed with mom and dad. I allowed my oldest son becausse i was young. I allowed my youngest because i was always so afraid something would happen and I wouldn't hear him. Don't get me wrong there are lots of times ok not lots but sometimes *wink* I wish he slept in his own bed lol..
I do agree that alot of kids out there are wild. My 3 year old isn't the best acting. We have let our fear over ride our good sense and we are paying for it trying to get him to behave as kids should. I do beleive that parents including myself need to parent like our parents did. Back then kids listened they helped at home and they were respectful. I was reallly strict on my 3 oldest...Now i'm older and blaine had alot of probs from birth til he was almost 3 and I haven't done so good with him..gosh i never shut up lol i'll stop now..

[Tashasmom]

Originally Posted by Tiger's Mom

What are you talking about . . . to me you have the best career ever , and I would have killed to be able to be in your shoes if I could afford to be a stay-home mom for my one and only child when she was growing up. For me, that was my "dream job".

I am lucky I won't deny that. But there are many of times that we couldn't afford a vacation or couldn't afford to do anything on the week-ends. We've struggled alot throughout the years and still do at times. If kids only knew how much us parents struggled no matter which road we took..

[JeanieK]

Originally Posted by Tashasmom

I am lucky I won't deny that. But there are many of times that we couldn't afford a vacation or couldn't afford to do anything on the week-ends. We've struggled alot throughout the years and still do at times. If kids only knew how much us parents struggled no matter which road we took..

They won't realize it until they've been down that road themselves. That's we we begin to appreciate the sacrifices that our parents made for us.

Hey only 25 to go. Keep postin.