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Old 03-07-2006, 01:57 PM   #1
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Question Are you a jealous girlfriend??

I sure as hell am. How do i stop?? i HATE feeling jealous everytime he goes out with his friends and even when girls call him to cover or switch hours with him at work- i get sooooo freakin jealous. In my heart i know i dont have anything to be worried about but this is just an ongoing trait i've always posessed...anyone else get jealous over stupid things?? anyone have a solution? im sure he's sick of having to assure me and make sure i feel secure...but no matter what i always have that teeny ping of jealousy...its rather pathetic and i really want to try and change it. Any suggestions?
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Old 03-07-2006, 02:01 PM   #2
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If your BF is spending more time with his friends then you , then I think the jealously justifable. When my fiance went thru a stage when he spent more time and talked more to his friends, I would get so mad and jealous. I just set him down and told him how a felt.
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Old 03-07-2006, 02:08 PM   #3
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I think that sometimes if the other person may be unconsciously giving you reason to feel jealous, then you might. It is human nature to feel jealous but usually after a while in a relationship, it calms down. If it hasn't, maybe you should evaluate, together, what he may be doing, and not knowing, that is making you feel jealous. I have never really been one to be jealous, but stupid comments bother me..lol..and i just over analyze EVERYTHING he says..lol..don't worry honey, we all got the downfalls, but certainly not as many as men do.
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Old 03-07-2006, 02:10 PM   #4
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i've told him that i get jealous, it is def NOT a secret! ive been liek this pretty much forever. i just really want to try and work on it, i just dont know how to go about it. lol maybe i need therapy....
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Old 03-07-2006, 02:17 PM   #5
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I think we all have had this problem before. I use to get jealous all of the time, but I have learned that if he respects and loves me then I had nothing to worry about. Maybe if your BF is out with his friends, use that time to pamper yourself or hangout with your girls this might help a little.
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Old 03-07-2006, 02:31 PM   #6
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I'm not a jealous girlfriend. I am nosy though. I like to know who what where when. I don't think I get suspicious though.

Anyway, I somewhat disagree with the other posters. I think some people are born jealous and it may not have anything to do w/ what he is doing as a person in the relationship.
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Old 03-07-2006, 02:42 PM   #7
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I can be a jealous person. I think it has more to do with myself and insecurities, than with other people.
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Old 03-07-2006, 02:53 PM   #8
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I've never been a jealous person. I always just figured if a boyfriend wanted to be with someone else, then he could just go! Now if I would have ever caught one foolin' around behind my back, that would be another story! Not jealous, but PISSED!!

Now after 20 years with my husband, I'm usually the one pointing out the pretty girls and he's polite enough to pretend that he didn't notice until I pointed them out!!
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Old 03-07-2006, 02:58 PM   #9
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I haven't been a girl friend in some time now but when I was I really wasn't the jealous kind. I have been with a few gealous guys, and I could not take it, I called it quits faster then it started if they pulled that with me. Tim (my husband) has been caught doing the rubber neck thing, and I will just play along with it by saying like "in what world do you think she would ever go for a guy like you" And he just laughs. You can't walk with blinders on and avoid people. One time at lake he went to the restroom and as he was walking back there was these ladies who were totally checking them out. I just laughed and once he reached me I told him yes you still got it! And he's playing dumb and asked "what ever do you mean?" after some time the same 2 women went to the rest room and I couldn't help myself,,,,,,,, I walked up to them and together we checked out the hot guy getting onto his jet ski. (Tim of course) LOL. I thought it was so funny. There are way to many men/women out there to deal with the jealous thing. Every one is jealous to a point but to be worried and jealous all the time is no good for you or him. Trust in you mate and if he can not be trusted then maybe you should not be with him. Best of luck to you!
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Old 03-07-2006, 03:09 PM   #10
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I'm definately not disagreeing that sometimes it's within the person to feel a bit jealous, but sometimes the insecurities are increased if the other person is doing something. Not always the case though. Some people are just naturally jealous. I think the way you could help yourself is to distract yourself when he's out, so you are not getting these thoughts in your head.
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Old 03-07-2006, 03:37 PM   #11
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I use to be extremely jealous. But now...being married 6 years...just a smidgent of jealousy still lurks in my veins. I don't mind him going to visit friends, but if he's going to go out to a bar...I better be invited or he ain't going. Besides...his friends like me more than him...I'm a happy drunk...but it's been YEARS since we last went to a place like that. Darn...I'm starting to feel my age!
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Old 03-07-2006, 08:23 PM   #12
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lol! you guys are too much<3<3
Kris- i def think i was just born with jealous genes!
And Nobella, i def think that keeping myself busy would help, such a no brainer, but i def sit here and am like "what if he thinks some girl is hotter than me?" or something dumb like that, and then sherlyn lynn's POV comes into play where if does wanna be with some else, so freakin be it!! And kimberley- im dying at your realization that hubby needs to take you out for some drinks!!! Me and the BF had a talk tonight and he says he knows im just the jealous and that sometimes he does play into it cuz he likes my reaction!! thats just evil. he said he didnt realize it actually hurt my feelings and made me sad...sometimes they can be so dense, i swear. I told him i just need him to be aware that im trying to get over this really irksome habit and help me deal with it even if its just saying, "dont be jealous, but..." lol. baby steps.... thanks for letting me vent guys. i wicked appreciate it<3<3
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Old 03-07-2006, 09:27 PM   #13
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OMG I used to be SOOO extremely jealous, I have NO idea how in the world my boyfriend stuck with me..

Let me fill you in.. I was with my "first love" but i think it's more like puppy love now.. and we were together for about 8 months and i went to new york to visit my relatives there for a week. well the guy i was with decided to cheat on me with not one.. but three other girls. and it was one of the girls he was cheating on with me that told me.. what a rude way to find out huh?

well then im with the guy that i'm with now.. and I truly think he is my first love.. well when we were in high school (sophomore year).. ALL these pretty girls were all over him! lol.. i'd never mind because he'd never try anything.. but one time i read one of his notebooks and he was writing notes to one of the girls in his class.. i was PISSSED lol.. i started to get jealous then.. and then I went on the Birth Control shot (Depo-prevera).. and gained a hefty 50pounds to my 90 pound size 0 figure. and i because so self conscious and jealous of everything.. thats how i became so insecure and jealous.

but after 5 years and 8 months (today is our monthiversary too lol). I learned that he has stuck with me no matter what.. he has truly showed me that he is a one woman man. im no longer overly jealous because I've learned to trust him and vice versa. I think the jealousy made our relationship stronger actually lol.

but now we're expecting a baby on the way and i have no reason to be jealous. He's a good guy with a good heart.

But I do have to admit I still get jealous especially when a cute girl winks or flirts with him.. Sometimes I think guys either subconsciously do things that make us jealous.. they don't know what their doing.
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Old 03-07-2006, 09:30 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by y0rkieL0ver
lol! you guys are too much<3<3
Kris- i def think i was just born with jealous genes!
And Nobella, i def think that keeping myself busy would help, such a no brainer, but i def sit here and am like "what if he thinks some girl is hotter than me?" or something dumb like that, and then sherlyn lynn's POV comes into play where if does wanna be with some else, so freakin be it!! And kimberley- im dying at your realization that hubby needs to take you out for some drinks!!! Me and the BF had a talk tonight and he says he knows im just the jealous and that sometimes he does play into it cuz he likes my reaction!! thats just evil. he said he didnt realize it actually hurt my feelings and made me sad...sometimes they can be so dense, i swear. I told him i just need him to be aware that im trying to get over this really irksome habit and help me deal with it even if its just saying, "dont be jealous, but..." lol. baby steps.... thanks for letting me vent guys. i wicked appreciate it<3<3

Yep couldn't have said it better. I'm exactly the same way. I've had the same talk with my BF. Just tonight we were watching american Idol and that girl with the accent(blonde) came on. He commented that she was attractive and I remarked "you just like her accent! I'm hotter then she is." He didn't say anything so I gave him a pouty look and said "you didn't agree with me." He then said "Yes you are." Then he proceeded to say "I wouldn't date her." But he didn't say he wouldn't do anything else with her. Guys are strange.

I know my man would never cheat on me and I don't mind him looking at other chica's but If he touches I'm gone in a heartbeat. Now if a chica touches him, she'd better be prepared for a CAT FIGHT. I will defend my property. I'm not all that possesive, but I will defend what's rightfully mine. He can look all he wants just like I can, but the minute either of us takes it a step further it's done.

I think a big part of my jealousy comes from being betrayed numerous times. It takes a toll on you, and whether you want it to affect your life or not it does. I hate that part of me, but I keep telling myself If he loves me and respects me as much as he says he does, he won't do anything to hurt me. My boyfriend and I have been together now for one year and three months. (my longest relationship, and his first relationship).
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Old 03-07-2006, 09:41 PM   #15
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I used to be VERY jealous. I don't know if it has anything to do with your age, but I'm 29 now, and I was extremely jealous when I was younger. Not only do I think it gets better with age (well for me anyway) but I learned to really trust the man I was with (my ex now). He gave me nothing to be jealous about, always called when he said, and always wanted to spend time with me. When a man is all about you, you'll know it. And then I think your jealousy will dissipate. And I now have that mentality like Stewie's Mom...if you (the man) want to leave...buh bye!! LOL
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