Really pissed need to vent..

[BabyFidgette]

Originally Posted by jkat

Yeah, that someone is ME!

Yeah, what's your point? I didn't feel like getting out of the reply to see the name of the person. It's not like I was dissing you. And I thought I was sensitive.

[Rockster's Mom]

Why would it embarrass you? I was band all thru highschool, and sometimes it took my parents and other parents to get involved in situations like this. Sometimes kids are intimidated by there coaches/leaders, so they don't think they can say anything or think they will actually listen to them.

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by jkat

From one phone call, or her post, you assume all the steps have been taken?

And, when did I ever say not to support her son?

If I were in that situation, saw my parents making a big scene out of this, I'd be SOOOO embarrassed.

I just gave her my suggestions, the same thing you did.
It seemed like you were describing minimal support.
I think it's great that her son has such a close relationship with her that he would tell her when something is bothering him like htat.

Well, my parents never supported me when I was in school. They never came to one game and I had to quit basketball eventually because they wouldn't buy the basketball shoes for it. They didn't help out with prom when I asked, nothing. They didn't even go to the prom-walk in. Mom was even a stay-at-home mom. And dad felt like drinking beer and watching tv was more importnant I guess. I fully intend to support everything that is important to my son unlike how I was raised.
But we can agree to disagree. In the end she will do whatever she wants and hopefully her son will be able to play on the team.

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by Rockster's Mom

Why would it embarrass you? I was band all thru highschool, and sometimes it took my parents and other parents to get involved in situations like this. Sometimes kids are intimidated by there coaches/leaders, so they don't think they can say anything or think they will actually listen to them.

EXACTLY my point! Sometimes they feel like their grade my be changed or the teacher will hate them. Sometimes parents need to step in!

[mustangbee]

Originally Posted by bchgirl

Here's a lesson from a pro.......

How to raise h-ll like a bansee........

And yes I agree children should be taught to resolve problems...HOWEVER in this case, if there were any possibility of my child receiving a sports scholarship....you bet your pibby, my butt would be in that principal's office. College scouts do not choose who they don't watch play....

So true, Uncle Roy comes out here to watch the Seniors play. He's a Basketball Coach for the NC Tar Heels. I'm sure Baseball is the same way, they want to see the Seniors play. They can't offer Scholarships, if they don't watch them play. Sometimes they will see them the year before, but they do come back and check on how they are doing. I know, because that's how we get to see Uncle Roy so much.

I have a feeling this coach is going to have a bad day.

[Rockster's Mom]

I have seen what happens when sport parents get angry, esp when the coaches/school are in the wrong, as they are in this situation. It is not pretty to say the least.

Good Luck with your talk with the school. Lets us know what happens.

[jkat]

Forget what I said then.

It's pointless.

[BabyFidgette]

I know I'm probably going to sound like I am contradicting myself as to what I said above, but here it goes:

I am a teacher (as I stated before ), and it does get a little annoying when kids go home and "tattle" on me, and then I get a phone call from mommy or daddy. I would prefer in this situation for the child to come to me privately and discuss the problem. When everyone has cooled off (the student and myself) the problem is most always solved...whether I fix it, the student does, or nothing gets fixed but there is more of an understanding. I am one of those teachers who will admit to being wrong and I don't want my kids to hate me. If they do, that's their choice, but I'm not saying I like it.
Now, if the kid does go home and what I feel like is sometimes "tattling" I will resolve whatever it is with the parent. That doesn't mean the parent "gets his/her way." It means we had an adult converstion and everyone understands the decision I made. Once again, if I feel as though I am wrong, I will fix what I did. So, I am all for speaking with the child first.
BUT...this involves a group of children. If the children bombarded the coach, he might get more angry. In my opinion, the parents need to intervene in this case. The students are obvioulsy very upset and need back up from their parents. I'm glad everyone is going to speak to the coach.
All I have to say in my conclusion is this: I am DARN happy I am not that coach today!!

[BabyFidgette]

Originally Posted by jkat

Forget what I said then.

It's pointless.

If I upset you. I'm sorry. I don't want to make anyone upset with me on YT. I can understand where you are coming from. Read my post above.

[jkat]

Originally Posted by cheryl000

Well, my parents never supported me when I was in school. They never came to one game and I had to quit basketball eventually because they wouldn't buy the basketball shoes for it. They didn't help out with prom when I asked, nothing. They didn't even go to the prom-walk in. Mom was even a stay-at-home mom. And dad felt like drinking beer and watching tv was more importnant I guess. I fully intend to support everything that is important to my son unlike how I was raised.
But we can agree to disagree. In the end she will do whatever she wants and hopefully her son will be able to play on the team.

I'm sorry to hear about your upbringing. Parents should not behave like that. I guess that's why you feel so strongly about parental involvement.

For me, my mom has always pushed me to think and to look for solutions myself. Sure, I'd always tell her what's bugging me and she'd offer me advice and her opinions. She'd encourage me to take steps, provided, that's what I wanted to do. Because of the way she brought me up, I'm very confident with what I do.

We had a family friend who's constantly worried about her son. She'd shelter him from anything and everything. He grew up with a bad immune system, can't handle a slight cold. I remember whenever he had problems at school, confrontation with someone, his mom ALWAYS stepped in. His gap between his peers became even wider. He had and has no friends.

Apparantly, my opinions of child-rearing are very different from everyone elses' on here. But, that's just the way I was raised and I believe my mom did a terrific job on both my brother and I.

[bchgirl]

I don't intervene, even though it sounds like I do. But in this case, if there is a scholarship possibility, I'd be complaining. And as someone whose had family members receive such scholarships....you already know by the kid's senior year if they're watching them. It is not a surprise. Serni would already know if scouts were watching her son. I would intervene if this were the case. Yelling to get your kid back on a team, doesn't necessarily mean they'll play any where but the bench Btw, the HS coaches have a hand in scholarships too. They're your mediary (sp?) with the scouts.

[bchgirl]

Then again....it's very, very difficult to see your child cry. I don't know many mothers who don't want to fix the hurt

[jkat]

Originally Posted by BabyFidgette

If I upset you. I'm sorry. I don't want to make anyone upset with me on YT. I can understand where you are coming from. Read my post above.

It's not being about upset or not. It's just very frustrated for me to see parents marching into school administrative building and "demand" for something.

As you said in your post, you're a teacher as I was. I too can understand a child "tatalling" to their parents is a semi-difficult issue.

In the past, I've always asked the parents (after our private discussion) to have their kids talk to me instead. It works in great favors for everyone. The child gains confidence and self-esteem in talking to an adult about a certain issue. They "feel" they've resolved it on their own. The parents will feel they've communicated with the teaching staff. It's an open communication and everyone is on the same page.

As for this case, I provided the minimal advise because I don't know if her son and his teammates had talked to the coach already and still got rejected or what. I don't know what steps they have taken in order to get their positions back. If they had done all that and still gotten no where, of course, by all means, the parents should be involved.

I didn't want to assume and thus I gave my very basic opinion.

[mustangbee]

Originally Posted by jkat

I'm sorry to hear about your upbringing. Parents should not behave like that. I guess that's why you feel so strongly about parental involvement.

For me, my mom has always pushed me to think and to look for solutions myself. Sure, I'd always tell her what's bugging me and she'd offer me advice and her opinions. She'd encourage me to take steps, provided, that's what I wanted to do. Because of the way she brought me up, I'm very confident with what I do.

We had a family friend who's constantly worried about her son. She'd shelter him from anything and everything. He grew up with a bad immune system, can't handle a slight cold. I remember whenever he had problems at school, confrontation with someone, his mom ALWAYS stepped in. His gap between his peers became even wider. He had and has no friends.

Apparantly, my opinions of child-rearing are very different from everyone elses' on here. But, that's just the way I was raised and I believe my mom did a terrific job on both my brother and I.

I'm sure your Mom did a great job with you and your brother. I have five children, and when something happens, they know I am here for them if they need my help. But I have to tell you, if someone was going to mess up my childs Scholarships I would be the first to step in, and no one could stop me.
This Coach is so wrong, and it sounds to me more like a power play than anything else. I have alot of friends who are Teachers, and I worked at an Elementary school for 14 years, So I know all the problems with parents. Students can and will step up and fix things on their own. But like I said this is Scholarships, and I would make sure it's fixed ASAP,
this is Baseball season, and one missed game, can make one messed up future.
I wish all the Seniors the best of luck, as this is their time to shine, and no one should take it away from them.

[SandyTXn]

Originally Posted by jkat

What the coach did was wrong. But, this is what I'd suggest:

1. Talk to your son. How does he feel about it? If playing the sport is his passion, what is he going to do about? What steps is he going to take to get that back?

2. Encourage him to go and talk to the coach, the school principal, sports director, etc. Ask HIM send a letter to the stations, to the newspapers, etc.

As a mom, I know you're very upset and worry about this but your son needs to resolve this on his own. That's how they learn to handle the "tough" lessons in life.

I worked with elementary school kids all the way up to high school kids. I've seen kids who bumped into the slightest problems and they didn't know how to solve it. They simply turn around and look at their parents for help. That's one of my biggest pet-peeves. Parents should TEACH their kids the "how to's" instead of just doing it for them.

I do agree! I have also worked in school systems.......and if the above fails, I would talk to some of the other parents of seniors that were kicked off (if it's ok with your son) and if everyone agrees about how unfair this situation is.....go see the principal. This is so unfair to those senior boys, I just can't believe it. Good Luck and Hang in There.........