Aughhh Stupid Men

[envrobear]

I think I need some input from other women out there. My boyfriend and I have been dateing 3 yrs. I love him very much but sometime he can be dense and unthoughful. He's in the navy and stationed in Norfolk, Va he had duty christmas day but said he was call sat. Well at 8pm when I heard nothing I called him left a message and and hour later he calls me back says he was busy. So here we are talking and he's playing his computer game. So I told him to pay attention to me or go play so we talked a bit longer and then I let him go since he had to be up at 4:30 for work. but before we hung up he said he would call me mon. Well sun after noon was bad.In a nut shell moose barfing all night and I couldn't sleep too well cause I was worried about her. Mon I had off, my mom's been sick, her dr calls we go to the er and spend from 10:30am-5pm there then my dad releives me so I can go home to get ready for work. No call from BF. So Tues at work i send angry e-mail asking where he was and why he couldn't call me. He called Tues night but I just got home from hospital visiting mom and was holding little ceaser in one hand and lil bear trying to eat lil ceaser in other arm. Once lil bear and moose were fed my dad came home from the hospital we called my mom and my dad passes out int his room and me in mine, bf left not message nothing plus I was still a little angry and didn't think I needed to talk while felling that way. So I get to work this morning have e-mail sayin 1.control yourself 2. if your are going to send me a message like you did answer your phone and 3. i can read minds. What there is no mind reading needed to message said it all why didn't you call and what kept you so busy.

I am letting my emotions about my mom do this to me are am I right in being upset

[Ponyup]

I'd be pretty peeved. If someone says they'll call they better. I don't take broken promises litely. This was a hard lesson for my hubby to learn if you say you're gonna do something you better. I wouldn't budge. He owns you an apology and an explanation. And then you need to apologize for being short with him. If it was me I would worry my self sick thinking something happened to him adn that's why he didn't call. Maybe if you explain why it upset you that he didn't call when he said he would he'll remember to call in the future.

[bchgirl]

I'm about 15 minutes from the base, want me to go beat 'em up for ya?

Personally I wouldn't call, email him etc when he doesn't do the same, I'd let him wonder what YOU'RE doing. I don't know if there are any intelligent men, the ones I dated were all stupid, and sometimes hubby lands in that catagory himself.

[rrosenberry]

Well not to be mean or hurt you, BUT I just read the book.. He's just not that into you.. You should get it, it is by a man, and it has all the excuses men use,and he says If they are INTO you they don't make all the excuses, etc.
I'm realistic And I know s@*! happens, so ya can't be 100% happy all the time, but if he is just your BF and your unhappy,,, think about it,, imagine it 10-20 years from now. Stuff to consider,, I've been there,, with one for almost 10 years,,and I look back now,, and say " why did I waste all that time" I knew then how he was,,and I see him around and we chat, and hes married w/ 2 kids,,and he is still the same LOSER.. and I thank GOD I'm not his wife.

[envrobear]

Ok well he just called me at work. He said he had no idea what he did wrong and he got home from duty at 5:30 am mon and fell asleep. To which I told him you know if you knew you were tired and I don't doubt it, you should have called me on the way home and said duty was long I am going to sleep but wanted to call you any way. Said he didn't think I'd be up told him that's what a voice mail is for. There was lots of blank air on his side. Started asking me about my mom and I filled him in as I started crying. Said he was sorry, did the man thing trying to make you feel better and not doing much good.he told me he can't read minds and i should have called him the moment I took mom to the hospital, told him I was a bit busy with other items. I told him I would call instead of sending a peeved e-mail if something he did or didn't do gets me angry and I told him he better call me when he says he will. Told him I worry about him since we are states away from each other and wouldn't hear anthing is something happened. Told me I didn't need to worry about him yeah like that's going to happen. Told him I am worried and stressed enough about my mom that worrying about him when all he has to do is call is not that much to ask.

He can just be so aggravating sometimes, at times he is calling, e-mailing, and IMing me all the time and other times I feel like I have to remind him. He is the first guy I have loved and been with this long and sometimes I just wonder wether this is normal guy behavior or just him. And I really don't have any friends except the girl I work with and YT members to give me any incite and my mom doesn't help too much cause with her chronic migraines and all the meds sometimes she thinks he is great and other times she tells me to dump him.

[envrobear]

Originally Posted by bchgirl

I'm about 15 minutes from the base, want me to go beat 'em up for ya?

Personally I wouldn't call, email him etc when he doesn't do the same, I'd let him wonder what YOU'RE doing. I don't know if there are any intelligent men, the ones I dated were all stupid, and sometimes hubby lands in that catagory himself.

[rrosenberry]

Sorry , I didn't mean to sound harsh, with you,, I didn't mean to sound like you should dump him or anything, I was just speaking of MY experience with men.. don't get me started on that! HA

[Lucky's Mom]

Have you guys talked about your future? Like do you think you will get married or just stay dating for awhile? Cause being a few states away is hard especially for along time & especially if you don't know where its going. Believe me I know! My husband is in the Air Force & when we were dating we were a state away. But our solution was to get married so we wouldn't have the long distance thing. Ya, that's a quick fix, but we planned on getting married anyway, just did it a little sooner! My suggestion would be to talk about your future and where your going. And if he's like, I dunno...then maybe you don't call him, email him or anything for a few days & maybe he'll get the picture! Good luck!

[bchgirl]

I will give you my insight of 45 yrs....if a man WANTS to call you, they will indeed call you. I don't care how much school, work, playing, sleeping or any other thousand things they're doing....if they WANT to call, THEY do. And that, my dear, is the God's honest (if painful) truth.

I am glad I am not dating in this techno age....just think they can call your cell phone, the home phone, im you, page you, or email you....and to think years ago...I used to check to see if the phone was working.....LOL.

[Ponyup]

Sounds to me like he's just a guy. Me and my husband had this fight that if he was gonna be late getting home from work he had to call me because after about an hour I started imagining God knows what happened to him. He finally got it. They just don't think the way we do. They figure we'll just think they got busy and they'll call when they get a chance. They don't realize that we are worried sick. This is normal guy behavior and the fact that he apologized and tried to understand why you're so upset is a good sign for him.

[kittendes]

It sound normal to me, my husband was the same way when we were dating. He was alway late, I can remember 1 saturday that he was "8 hours" late coming over & when he got there naturally I was furious , so he turned around and left. He never could understand why I was so mad. I think it must be just a guy thing. After 10 years of dating & 12 years of marriage he's getting better about letting me know what he's up to.
Desiree

[waistfull]

Men really are different than women. I've found through years of marrige that calm talking and speaking and telling him exactly what you want is better than wanting him to "know" what you want and need. Sometimes, some men just don't get it and Need us women to just straight out tell them, lay it all out and be honest. I have found this to work for me and I am hoping everything will turn out for you either way. I posted on the other thread about your mom and I just wanted you to know that she's in my prayers, and so are you.

[rrosenberry]

I must add... My favorite Dr.Phil quote.. " YOU teach people how to treat you"
and it is so true.. If ya let em treat you badly.. they will continue to.
Don't settle for less than you know you deserve. Took me awhile to figure that out, but I got it now, and I got a good man too.

[toninm]

I would have been mad too...what is it with guys and not thinking that they need to call! UUUGGGHHHHH!

[Francie]

Originally Posted by envrobear

I think I need some input from other women out there. My boyfriend and I have been dateing 3 yrs. I love him very much but sometime he can be dense and unthoughful. He's in the navy and stationed in Norfolk, Va he had duty christmas day but said he was call sat. Well at 8pm when I heard nothing I called him left a message and and hour later he calls me back says he was busy. So here we are talking and he's playing his computer game. So I told him to pay attention to me or go play so we talked a bit longer and then I let him go since he had to be up at 4:30 for work. but before we hung up he said he would call me mon. Well sun after noon was bad.In a nut shell moose barfing all night and I couldn't sleep too well cause I was worried about her. Mon I had off, my mom's been sick, her dr calls we go to the er and spend from 10:30am-5pm there then my dad releives me so I can go home to get ready for work. No call from BF. So Tues at work i send angry e-mail asking where he was and why he couldn't call me. He called Tues night but I just got home from hospital visiting mom and was holding little ceaser in one hand and lil bear trying to eat lil ceaser in other arm. Once lil bear and moose were fed my dad came home from the hospital we called my mom and my dad passes out int his room and me in mine, bf left not message nothing plus I was still a little angry and didn't think I needed to talk while felling that way. So I get to work this morning have e-mail sayin 1.control yourself 2. if your are going to send me a message like you did answer your phone and 3. i can read minds. What there is no mind reading needed to message said it all why didn't you call and what kept you so busy.

I am letting my emotions about my mom do this to me are am I right in being upset

Hmmm...you know? My grandmother used to whisper to me....."No matter how long you've been with someone...NEVER let them be too SURE of you! Keeps em on there toes!

Francie