Disappointing Mothers Day

[QuickSilver]

At the root of anger is hurt. Do you know why they are hurting? Can you talk to them about it? I know it can be hard to talk to someone about their hurt when they have hurt you. They probably have their own scars from seeing their mother so badly abused.

Also, from what I know of mothers and daughters, honesly, it would be surprising if you get a wonderful holiday from all three at the same time. Relationships between two people can be tough, much less four.

[manolos mom]

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

At the root of anger is hurt. Do you know why they are hurting? Can you talk to them about it? I know it can be hard to talk to someone about their hurt when they have hurt you. They probably have their own scars from seeing their mother so badly abused.

Also, from what I know of mothers and daughters, honesly, it would be surprising if you get a wonderful holiday from all three at the same time. Relationships between two people can be tough, much less four.

Sometimes we have High expectation. I hear what you are saying, thank you so much. I wish I had a Leave it to Beaver Family.

[enchilila]

I am so sorry your Mother's Day was not a happy one. I don't know how old your daughters are, but hopefully one day when they are also mothers, they will truly understand what sacrifices are. Divorce is a terrible thing to go through and children can be easily swayed and turned against the other parent.

Remember, what goes around, comes around. It sounds like you raised your children in a loving and religious atmosphere. They will always return to that.......given time.

[Lil Sis]

oh I am so sorry that your two oldest disappointed you, and this hurt you.
I am glad you had your "baby" to show you love and how special you are

I have two that are a little younger than your two... and I can remember some tearful mother's days and birthdays... they were so self centered!!! But as many have said, if you raise them right (which you did) they will see what they have done. My girls now show me so much love (well... sometimes anyway)

As to the girls hating you for leaving your ex... oh no... don't take that on yourself please. You did what you had to do for yourself and the girls!! You did what was right and what was best... please never forget that!!!

Hugss......

[sugarmamma]

Originally Posted by shodanusmc

Even though I have never met you, I trust the lady I live with, and she said that you are the best. So, you can take that to the bank. We all have problems with kids. We have one that only seems to treat us with respect when she needs something. Otherwise, she tends to forget who we are. There are some in each family. You did all you could for them. They will recognize the error of their ways and the hurt they caused you yesterday. You can always to apply to adopt me. I know Marge would have my bag packed and have me booked on a flight to TX. We could Hog Hunt during the day, and go after Varmints at night! You have a good day. Remember, you have a younger daughter and husband that love you, as well as many other people here, and in Illinois. The Brothers think you are #1~

I think we are sharing a daughter It's very disheartening and I'm clinging to the hope that she will out grow it like everyone tells me she will :

[MauiGirl]

I am so sorry you had a disappointing Mother's Day.

I'm sure you did your best to raise your kids, and for whatever reason they are now being self centered and not showing the love and appreciation they should. It's just rude to not acknowledge a Mother on this one special day. It will come back to bite them someday. So how would they feel if their birthday came and there was no acknowledgement from you?

You are such a dynamic lovely lady (from what I gather on YT), and truly deserved a better Mother's day. When life brings disappointments, you can look around you for what you are grateful for (the good daughter, hubby, furkids & friends) and invest your energy there.

Sending you hugs, and warmest Aloha!

[lisaly]

Originally Posted by manolos mom

Dont know why, maybe I just dont know how to Love. I thought I gave them everything they ever needed and put my every need last because I brought these 2 ladies into this world and knew this was my job and first priority.

Not even a Mothers day card and found out they spent the day with their father who was never around growing up.

Dont know why I am bringing this up but I guess I am just feeling sad. It was hard being a single parent but they always had my love, food, shelter, clothes. Made sure they grew up with a religious background. Dont know what I have done but maybe I just suck at being a mother.

There is no way I could believe these words, Lisette. I've read your posts since I've been a member of this forum, and you are a person who cares a great deal about others and loves very deeply. When I read your post, what came to my mind was what Carolyn wrote. My parents divorced when I was thirteen, and I know firsthand the conflicted feelings that children have. It was better for all of us (three girls), but my sisters have struggled with trying to gain my father's love all of their life. I was so close with my mother that perhaps her love was powerful enough for me and shielded me from the hurt. I know it still affected me despite the closeness I had with my mom. My sisters never got a chance to tell my mom how much they loved her because they were too young to realize their mistakes when my mother passed away at a young age. Sadly, it still haunts both of them today. Your daughters probably feel very secure in your love, but they are probably chasing their father, hoping to gain his love and acceptance. I am so sorry that they hurt you. I believe they will come to the realization one day as my sisters have. I don't think one can ever forget the love and sacrifices that a mother makes. You taught your daughters the important lessons in life and about love. It is in them, and they will feel it and live it sometime in the future. I have lived thirty five years without my mother, but I live each day as she were with me, and I understand very well the lessons she taught me about matters of the heart. Give it time with your daughters. They will learn the truth.

[Bitsy]

Wow, that is really sad. I know from personal experience that the mother daughter relationship can be really tough.

This is my perspective as a daughter in that tough relationship....

I choose to forgive my mother for whatever wrongs I perceive she has done. Sometimes it does make it hard to show affection, but deep down I truly do love her and I hold to that. She is not going to be around forever, and I will miss her when she is gone. Let's be honest...NO ONE loves you the way a mother does.

Your daughters are making a mistake, in my opinion, for treating you this way. I'm so sorry you had to experience this. I'm glad your youngest daughter showed you love and appreciation. I hope that in the future you are able to have a closer relationship with them.

Chachi, I am SO sorry you are going through this. I've been through it before and my heart goes out to anyone experiencing the same pain. Hugs to you.

[IsabelleOllie]

I am so sorry that your older daughters are treating you this way. I feel for you and understand how much it hurts. I have 5 children, but sometimes it feels like my 3 oldest children just don't care. I was married to an angry man (their father) who was always verbally abusive and often physically abusive. He was even arrested and jailed for several months after one particularly bad episode. I stayed with him for my kids, I tried to keep our family together for them, I worked to support us while he stayed home. I finally left for ME, and for them, I wanted to have a new beginning and a peaceful home. My oldest son was 16, daughter was 14, and my middle son was 12. They HATE me for leaving. They wouldn't leave their father....so in their eyes I abandonned them. I went thru absolute misery with them. They feel that their father can do no wrong. He still doesn't work, he lost his home and is currently in jail for violating probation... but he is still their hero. It is four years later and they are living with me and I am really trying to repair our mother/child relationships. I just pray that someday they will understand why I couldn't stay married to their father and forgive me for ruining their childhoods.... My wish is that they will once again say "I love you, Mom".

[SophieKatesMom]

Lisette, I don't think you "suck" at being a Mom what I do think is you have daughte'rs who do not realize how lucky they are to have you as their Mother.

From my experience you always have kind words to offer, you work very hard and show geniune concern for people and their problems. Do not change, maybe someday your daughters will show the same traits.

Growing up I never had a Mother past the age of 12, I had Aunts who treated me like their child but it's just not the same on Mothers Day. I hope your daughter's realize the gem they have in you soon.

Let me offer you a Happy Mother's Day

[gidgetsmom]

I am sorry you are so sad but so am I. I hate mother's day. It always makes me sad and I never feel like there isn't anything special about me compared to the other women in my family. I guess when you don't expect anything from others you get nothing. I don't think about setting expectations of others or asking for things and the other women in my family do expect. My family has also shunned my adult daughters because of being unwed mothers, which I do not condon, their dad and I have been married for 30 years. This has caused so much tension and stomach wrenching sadness. i am always split up on these types of holidays. I say lets get rid of mothers day. What about the women that want to be a mom but can't. What a sad day for them!

[My lil friend]

I dont particularly care for Mothers Day. I have to purchase a card or gift for a lady that was abusive and that I now help to care for. Its tuff to find a card that is nice,but not mushy about what a great mom she is.
I have a house full of children who are finally growing up and choosing their own way. I refer to Mother's Day as "not a mommy day". My mother in law says "tell me the other 364 days what a great person I am". I pretty much feel the same way. If you think that I am a great mom then tell me one of the OTHER days. Take a moment to thank me for raising you when I am not expecting it.
I love my furbaby! she lays beside me knawing on her rawhide chew or my fingers or licking my face just because she loves me. She kisses my nose in the morning or curls up next to me just because she wants to be held and isnt in a hurry to go anywhere else.
So for each of us that really don't like the Hallmark holiday called "Mother's Day" we have our furbabies that love us just because we are us.

[Charlie_Boy]

It's hard being a parent and having your kids be hurtful. I know what your going thru. I have 2 girls and when my husband left me my oldest daughter was angry with me. We have not had a relationship for the past 4 years. I rarely see her. It does hurt alot and the only thing that keeps me going is praying for her and for God to change her heart. One of my brother's did his own thing for 19 1/2 years and I would see day after day my parents praying for him. He finally turned around and wow what an awesome 3 years with him it has been. That gives me hope for my daughter. Never stop loving, always pray for them and never lose hope!! My youngest daughter planned a lunch with me and we spent the day together. I was very touched by her thoughtfulness and hurting as well missing my other daughter. Hang in there!

[kjc]

When was Mother's Day?














JK. Hugs...

[cj125]

What? Oh h*ll no!!! Lissette - I'm going to come down there and slap them girls!!!

I'm sorry - I love my daughter but I can honestly tell you that she can hurt me the worst and she can be the meanest. I guess that's why they call us b*tches! lol!

Lissette - I know you and you're one h*ll of a woman. This really has nothing to do with you - it's about them. It's hard to separate that but I know that you were a good parent and have 'nothing" to beat yourself up over. You're a loving, kind and good person!

I know you're hurting inside - I would be, too - but I think you should talk to them about this - tell them how much it hurt you. They don't have to say anything but I think you should tell them and then leave it in their court.

PS - you should have called me Love Ya!