Bringing Change to YT!!! - Page 3 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Reese1 · 03-28-2010, 06:21 AM

Mary,

Welcome, first of all!
I did not respond in your first post from the other day, but I did go back and try and re-read everything.
I have been a member YT for a few years now and LOVE it!
Do I always agree with all of the other posters, comments, threads, etc.., NO, but that's the point. This is a forum for sharing knowledge, education, opinions, stories, photos, etc..
The problem with a forum online is you really never know the intentions of someone coming to post. The vast majority on YT have the best of intentions, but not all do.
Plenty of us have mixed breed Yorkies, have not always bought from the best breeder, etc.., but I REALLY have to disagree that anyone is not accepted or welcomed for that reason!
I think the problem comes about when people who are looking to buy and/or breed mixed dogs post and when people try and educate & get info out there, the threads can go south quickly.
This is a Yorkie forum and breeding is a touchy area. Many on here believe that if you love Yorkies and are looking to breed, it should be for the betterment of the breed & to breed to standard.
A lot of people read and/or post that are looking to buy a Yorkie and really want to learn what to look for in a breeder and who they should stay away from.
There are so many puppymills, bybs, etc.. and there are so many red flags and buzz words that breeders use to sell dogs. Not everyone knows that and find this information valuable.

In your original post there were "red flags" & "buzz words" that people pointed out and that is where things took a turn, IMO.
I realized you started the thread, but you never know who is reading it and will learn from it and many posters respond with that in mind.
There is valuable information all over YT, there are wonderful members and a great sharing of stories and I hope you will read through the different forums and threads and discover that!
You will not always agree with people, but the great thing is you have the opportunity to join and add to the discussion or you can just ignore a post and move on!

red98vett · 03-28-2010, 06:26 AM

Reese1...

that was so well said

ArmaniMan · 03-28-2010, 06:31 AM

I am fairly new to YT and am certainly not part of any "in crowd" someone described and havent even noticed one. Sure there are long time members who seem to know each other but that is the same anywhere, its nice to see people have used this board to form friendships.

Anyway, I have learned so much from this forum about yorkies in general and about specific issues that have come up with my little ones. There is such a wealth of knowledge on this board, its amazing. I dont think anyone should join a new place expecting it to change. I joined the place BECAUSE I like it and I hope it stays the same. The people here LOVE the yorkie breed and do everything they can to educate everyone on this breed.

ReesiesDad · 03-28-2010, 06:40 AM

I'm fairly new also, and this is the most well-mannered, courteous, and helpful forum I've seen on any subject.

1lilmax · 03-28-2010, 06:43 AM

I have to say.When i posted my first thread everyone was very nice.No one was rude..i felt very welcomed. { THANK YALL }.I do agree some could be a little nicer.After all we are all here because we love our furbabys..I also agree that people should stop with the words such as,teacup ,designer,pocket, and so on.Because when it turns out the dog is 10 lbs and not 3 lbs the breeder said, their not happy with it .I think the change should start with these back yard breeders ,their the ones that are breeding every thing under the sun. Let me say, welcome and im glad you stayed.your babys are very pretty.

kjcmsw · 03-28-2010, 06:44 AM

Take the good, leave the bad...and laugh about everything in between. See the responses for what they are and consider the source.

Breezeaway · 03-28-2010, 06:45 AM

I agree with the Op , I think she wanted to share her babies and was bombarded, someone even wanted the Name of her breeder. WHY? so they could post bad stuff about this breeder without having ever met her? Her breeder is between her and herself. I was totally appalled at what took place in that thread to a newbie. There is a right and wrong way to go about getting information out. Berating people is not my idea of productive information, its cruel and unnecessary. You can give the same advice in a nice manner rather than try to bully them into submission.

sarahheartmaddy · 03-28-2010, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezeaway

I agree with the Op , I think she wanted to share her babies and was bombarded, someone even wanted the Name of her breeder. WHY? so they could post bad stuff about this breeder without having ever met her? Her breeder is between her and herself. I was totally appalled at what took place in that thread to a newbie. There is a right and wrong way to go about getting information out. Berating people is not my idea of productive information, its cruel and unnecessary. You can give the same advice in a nice manner rather than try to bully them into submission.

ArmaniMan · 03-28-2010, 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezeaway

someone even wanted the Name of her breeder. WHY? so they could post bad stuff about this breeder without having ever met her? Her breeder is between her and herself.

She actually posted her breeders name with no prompting from anyone, it was right there in the link she provided... if she wanted to keep her breeders name to herself she has every right.... but no one asked her for it, she just provided it, which is also her right.

chattiesmom · 03-28-2010, 07:01 AM

Welcome Mary

Mary, I just re-read my post and realized that I failed to welcome you to YorkieTalk. I do hope you decide to stay and become a positive influence and contributor/poster. I agree that positive changes are always coveted, but it is nearly impossible to join an establishedd group of 60,000 plus people and immediately decide that the group needs to change.

Every member here at YT should feel free to post their thoughts without the fear of being bashed. Sometimes when we feel like we are being bashed we are really experiencing an exchange of opposing ideas without which learning cannot take place. Each of us is the sum total of all of our life experiences - and we act/react in response to what life has taught us.

I also agree that there are posters that so seem to present their views a bit harshly. However, as long as they stay within the established posting rules of YT, then they have the right to voice their opinion. If and when a poster is out of line, YT has a process to follow - a process that is clearly outlined in the posting rules.

On a closing note - if there really is an "in" crowd, it doesn't seem to be related to # of posts or tenure -- it has to do with being involved and reaching out to members that you feel a connection with.

lil fu fu girl · 03-28-2010, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezeaway

I agree with the Op , I think she wanted to share her babies and was bombarded, someone even wanted the Name of her breeder. WHY? so they could post bad stuff about this breeder without having ever met her? Her breeder is between her and herself. I was totally appalled at what took place in that thread to a newbie. There is a right and wrong way to go about getting information out. Berating people is not my idea of productive information, its cruel and unnecessary. You can give the same advice in a nice manner rather than try to bully them into submission.

First, let me say, Welcome to YT!

Secondly, let me say , spot on Breezeway.

Thirdly, let me say, the only thing worth getting upset over is puppymills and unethical BYBs. Everything else is solvable provided we have the education, and ethical standards ,that allow each of us to vocalize our own opinions and beliefs without fear of belittlement.

Sometimes, change is good!

1lilmax · 03-28-2010, 07:48 AM

I think once a thread has been closed.It should stay closed .I think once a member has said she/he is sorry then we should move on .I hope this is not a come back that is gonna turn into a harsh debate. Lets all smile .

maryeverett1 · 03-28-2010, 07:48 AM

Absolutely AMAZING!!!! and all I am trying to get across!!! THANK YOU for sharing this and for "getting" what I am trying to do and say here!!! I appreciate you so much!! Look forward to getting to know YOU and people like you better!!! :-)

QuickSilver · 03-28-2010, 08:06 AM

After being on here for a while, I think I understand better why some older posters get frustrated trying to save people from the same problems over and over and over again. I'm talking primarily about people who come to the site having already decided to buy a puppy without realizing that their breeder is disreputable. It is really hard to see so many people refuse to accept that by buying a dog from a bad breeder, they are perpetuating the cruel cycle of puppy mills and our huge shelter problem.

That being said, I think maryeverett1 kind of got mugged. She was just trying to show off her puppies, and while some people were nice, she WAS accused of being an animal hater AND a puppy broker. That is completely over the line.

Some of it is just the internet. In real life, people tend to back off sensitive topics, and we have a whole set of facial cues and vocal tones to help diffuse arguments. On the web, people tend to overestimate the tact of their post, AND also tend to take things more personally. So there is always a tendency for conversations to spin out of control, because everyone posting feels like, "I just said something perfectly reasonable, and this other poster attacked me out of the blue!"

I think a good rule of thumb is, if you're posting something that might be construed as critical, take time to make it nicer than you think is necessary; and if you read a post you feel is critical of you, recognize that it's probably not as personal as it seems.

I don't always follow that rule, but still, it's a good one, don't you think?

Finally, this is a big one that drives me crazy: just because someone is rude to you, it does not give you an excuse to be rude to them. You can only control the tone of your OWN posts. Give the respect you want to get.

And yes, we're all here because we love yorkies!

So no matter how crazy/rude/clueless someone might seem to be, we all have that in common.

Thomas J · 03-28-2010, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lwilliams

I am also fairly new to YT, and have also debated on whether or not to stick around. The reason is because I am so scared to post anything because I'm afraid of the responses I might get! I have to be so careful with everything I say! I never want to be attacked. I haven't been so far, but I feel that is because I have been careful. I don't do everything by the book, but heaven forbid I admit that here. Anyway, there is such a wealth of information on this site, and also members here who do care so much that it is worth staying around. Thank you for voicing your opinion, and I'm sorry about the responses you got on your post.

Agree! I word things very very carefully!

03-28-2010, 06:21 AM	#31
Reese1 Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 5,304	Mary, Welcome, first of all! I did not respond in your first post from the other day, but I did go back and try and re-read everything. I have been a member YT for a few years now and LOVE it! Do I always agree with all of the other posters, comments, threads, etc.., NO, but that's the point. This is a forum for sharing knowledge, education, opinions, stories, photos, etc.. The problem with a forum online is you really never know the intentions of someone coming to post. The vast majority on YT have the best of intentions, but not all do. Plenty of us have mixed breed Yorkies, have not always bought from the best breeder, etc.., but I REALLY have to disagree that anyone is not accepted or welcomed for that reason! I think the problem comes about when people who are looking to buy and/or breed mixed dogs post and when people try and educate & get info out there, the threads can go south quickly. This is a Yorkie forum and breeding is a touchy area. Many on here believe that if you love Yorkies and are looking to breed, it should be for the betterment of the breed & to breed to standard. A lot of people read and/or post that are looking to buy a Yorkie and really want to learn what to look for in a breeder and who they should stay away from. There are so many puppymills, bybs, etc.. and there are so many red flags and buzz words that breeders use to sell dogs. Not everyone knows that and find this information valuable. In your original post there were "red flags" & "buzz words" that people pointed out and that is where things took a turn, IMO. I realized you started the thread, but you never know who is reading it and will learn from it and many posters respond with that in mind. There is valuable information all over YT, there are wonderful members and a great sharing of stories and I hope you will read through the different forums and threads and discover that! You will not always agree with people, but the great thing is you have the opportunity to join and add to the discussion or you can just ignore a post and move on! __________________ Crosley Wrigley Camden

03-28-2010, 06:26 AM	#32
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	Reese1... that was so well said __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

03-28-2010, 06:31 AM	#33
ArmaniMan I ♥ Armani & Chloe Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 3,895	I am fairly new to YT and am certainly not part of any "in crowd" someone described and havent even noticed one. Sure there are long time members who seem to know each other but that is the same anywhere, its nice to see people have used this board to form friendships. Anyway, I have learned so much from this forum about yorkies in general and about specific issues that have come up with my little ones. There is such a wealth of knowledge on this board, its amazing. I dont think anyone should join a new place expecting it to change. I joined the place BECAUSE I like it and I hope it stays the same. The people here LOVE the yorkie breed and do everything they can to educate everyone on this breed. __________________ Armani & Chloe

03-28-2010, 06:43 AM	#35
1lilmax No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: BACK IN TENN,,{ BARTLETT } Posts: 80	I am new also I have to say.When i posted my first thread everyone was very nice.No one was rude..i felt very welcomed. { THANK YALL }.I do agree some could be a little nicer.After all we are all here because we love our furbabys..I also agree that people should stop with the words such as,teacup ,designer,pocket, and so on.Because when it turns out the dog is 10 lbs and not 3 lbs the breeder said, their not happy with it .I think the change should start with these back yard breeders ,their the ones that are breeding every thing under the sun. Let me say, welcome and im glad you stayed.your babys are very pretty.

03-28-2010, 07:01 AM	#40
chattiesmom Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama Posts: 17,674	Welcome Mary Mary, I just re-read my post and realized that I failed to welcome you to YorkieTalk. I do hope you decide to stay and become a positive influence and contributor/poster. I agree that positive changes are always coveted, but it is nearly impossible to join an establishedd group of 60,000 plus people and immediately decide that the group needs to change. Every member here at YT should feel free to post their thoughts without the fear of being bashed. Sometimes when we feel like we are being bashed we are really experiencing an exchange of opposing ideas without which learning cannot take place. Each of us is the sum total of all of our life experiences - and we act/react in response to what life has taught us. I also agree that there are posters that so seem to present their views a bit harshly. However, as long as they stay within the established posting rules of YT, then they have the right to voice their opinion. If and when a poster is out of line, YT has a process to follow - a process that is clearly outlined in the posting rules. On a closing note - if there really is an "in" crowd, it doesn't seem to be related to # of posts or tenure -- it has to do with being involved and reaching out to members that you feel a connection with. __________________ Silk Step-In Harnesses www.foxypups.etsy.com

03-28-2010, 06:40 AM	#34
ReesiesDad YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Armada, Michigan Posts: 387	I'm fairly new also, and this is the most well-mannered, courteous, and helpful forum I've seen on any subject.

03-28-2010, 06:44 AM	#36
kjcmsw YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Washington Posts: 837	Take the good, leave the bad...and laugh about everything in between. See the responses for what they are and consider the source.

03-28-2010, 06:45 AM	#37
Breezeaway No Longer a Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Wildcat Country(KY) Posts: 2,114 Blog Entries: 26	I agree with the Op , I think she wanted to share her babies and was bombarded, someone even wanted the Name of her breeder. WHY? so they could post bad stuff about this breeder without having ever met her? Her breeder is between her and herself. I was totally appalled at what took place in that thread to a newbie. There is a right and wrong way to go about getting information out. Berating people is not my idea of productive information, its cruel and unnecessary. You can give the same advice in a nice manner rather than try to bully them into submission.

03-28-2010, 07:48 AM	#42
1lilmax No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: BACK IN TENN,,{ BARTLETT } Posts: 80	On another note I think once a thread has been closed.It should stay closed .I think once a member has said she/he is sorry then we should move on .I hope this is not a come back that is gonna turn into a harsh debate. Lets all smile .

03-28-2010, 07:48 AM	#43
maryeverett1 BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Virginia Beach, VA Posts: 795	Absolutely AMAZING!!!! and all I am trying to get across!!! THANK YOU for sharing this and for "getting" what I am trying to do and say here!!! I appreciate you so much!! Look forward to getting to know YOU and people like you better!!! :-)

03-28-2010, 08:06 AM	#44
QuickSilver Thor's Human Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 5,929 Blog Entries: 31	After being on here for a while, I think I understand better why some older posters get frustrated trying to save people from the same problems over and over and over again. I'm talking primarily about people who come to the site having already decided to buy a puppy without realizing that their breeder is disreputable. It is really hard to see so many people refuse to accept that by buying a dog from a bad breeder, they are perpetuating the cruel cycle of puppy mills and our huge shelter problem. That being said, I think maryeverett1 kind of got mugged. She was just trying to show off her puppies, and while some people were nice, she WAS accused of being an animal hater AND a puppy broker. That is completely over the line. Some of it is just the internet. In real life, people tend to back off sensitive topics, and we have a whole set of facial cues and vocal tones to help diffuse arguments. On the web, people tend to overestimate the tact of their post, AND also tend to take things more personally. So there is always a tendency for conversations to spin out of control, because everyone posting feels like, "I just said something perfectly reasonable, and this other poster attacked me out of the blue!" I think a good rule of thumb is, if you're posting something that might be construed as critical, take time to make it nicer than you think is necessary; and if you read a post you feel is critical of you, recognize that it's probably not as personal as it seems. I don't always follow that rule, but still, it's a good one, don't you think? Finally, this is a big one that drives me crazy: just because someone is rude to you, it does not give you an excuse to be rude to them. You can only control the tone of your OWN posts. Give the respect you want to get. And yes, we're all here because we love yorkies! So no matter how crazy/rude/clueless someone might seem to be, we all have that in common.