Bringing Change to YT!!!

[RemydeHaviland]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

If you truly want to make a positive impact on YT then take some time to familarize yourself with the posting rules and then get to know the members, their posting styles, likes and dislikes. Considering the vast number of diversified members here at YT, it stands to reason that if you start a new thread or post an opinion, there are going to be those who support you and those who oppose you.

First, I would like to say Welcome! I am familiar with the thread, however did not post any prior reply

Second, I would like to second ChattiesMom's commentary. This is excellent commentary and advice. IMO no one should feel hesitant about posting. However before one contributes it may be helpful to spend some time here (or any online forum, for that matter) getting to know the environment.

When you are new to a forum its kind of like entering a crowded party in real life - alone - and knowing no one. It takes a little time to get acclimated, and you are probably very conscious of how you present yourself. Here, we only have our written words so what you say, and more specifically how you say it can drive the type of response you may receive

I am glad you have decided to stay. This is a terrific forum with a wealth of information and a group of warm, caring people

[Princes mom]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

I am one of the Oldies -- I have been a member of YorkieTalk since the middle of 2004 in fact I was the 194th member to join. I can tell you from my lenghty tenure here at YorkieTalk that due to the hard work and impartial and fair rulings by our Administrators and hard working Moderators that things stay pretty much the same. While we may not always agree with their rulings, they have the best interests of YorkieTalk in mind.

If you truly want to make a positive impact on YT then take some time to familarize yourself with the posting rules and then get to know the members, their posting styles, likes and dislikes. Considering the vast number of diversified members here at YT, it stands to reason that if you start a new thread or post an opinion, there are going to be those who support you and those who oppose you.

My motto is "If I don't want my YT family to disagree with me, the best thing I can do is not post ". There will always be those who agree and those who disagree, but remember each member of YorkieTalk has the right to post their opinion as long as their post is within the YorkieTalk Posting Rules. If you find posts that are offensive or that violate the posting rules, then the apporpriate action is to report the post to the Admin/Moderators so that they can evaluate the post to determine whether or not it is appropriate.

One last observation - posting in BOLDED ALL CAPS is considered yelling and is offensive - and the over use of bolded all caps is in direct violation of posting rules.

Excellent post!

[NatNatt]

Ohh wow, its good to feel that Im not the only one getting talked down to like a piece of crap. When I first came people were so rude I even blocked a few because they had nothing but negative things to say to me they would never give advice they would just be rude. I thought about leaving because of it and then i got quite a few personal messages for members saying to not worry about them and they are always rude and will always be and just stay here because there are nice people that are willing to help. Ignore the rude ones and listen to the ones that are willing to actually give you advice.

[Lee B]

Sometimes I cringe when I see "newbies" post. You come here happy, proud and wanting to share your joy, only to have folks tear you apart for one thing or another.

The problem, as I see it, is simply that people forget that at one point in their lives they, too, were "uneducated" about all the myriad things affecting our small charges. You fall in love with the breed, want to share your joy ... and then the learning curve begins. In an ideal world, everyone would learn all they could first, THEN acquire a pup. But that's not the reality ...

Some of the people here need to remember how it was when THEY were new, before they started to absorb the knowledge that can be found here. It would also help to put yourself in the poster's shoes before answering ...

If new people are attacked upon joining and stating something perceived "ignorant" as opposed to "uneducated", the poster won't stick around long enough to GET the education. Sometimes it requires taking a deep breath, then carefully choosing words.

The object of this board - and any other animal related board - should be education, with camaraderie and sharing experiences coming in a close second. Education cannot be bludgeoned into the "pupil"; to do so is to alienate, which results in closed minds, rebellion ... and loss of the student. How much will be learned THEN?

We - ALL of us! - love the little furbutts we share our lives with. What we need to try to remember is that everyone has a starting point in learning about our charges - including the person who is posting an "answer". Please remember that not everyone has your experience ... but they're here to learn, so be kind - or you'll run them off.

One other thing: not all the members here live in the U.S., so take into consideration that things are different where they live and make adjustments in your answers (and opinions) accordingly.

Just my opinion ...

[beader]

This happens on all forums with the rude ones always posting and thinking that they are the ones that know everything.
Most of the time I just lurk cause I also am afraid to post. I have the dreaded mixed breed mutt ( as it is put by many in this forum) that I love just as much as the $2000.00+ papered yorkie. I maybe some day can afford the papered yorkie but for now it is not in the cards.
I thought this forum was to learn and to share our love and knowledge of the breed not to beat each other up.

[BaxtersMommy]

Hi. I just wanted to welcome you to YT! I didnt see your thread yesterday.

I have 4 beautiful Yorkies, they are all different. I have one whose ears never went up, one who weighs 12 lbs, one is a parti carrier, and one who is absolutely gorgeous and in my mind meets standard perfectly. Yet, they are ALL AKC. THEY ARE ALL PERFECT!

I say this to say, it doesnt matter what others think about your babies when YOU chose them and love them. Loving them and giving them the best home is what matters.

I am not a breeder, I just love Yorkies. I respect most of the breeders on this site because they really do make sure they do it the right way. If they learn someone isnt doing it the right way, they speak out. Really, it is a good thing.

I read the entire thread this morning. When I was new to YT I thought people were attacking people, but then I got to know everyone. They have taught me so much! Looking at the thread, it did seem harsh. But, everyone gives tough love around here. They are serious about educating about Yorkies.

Don't be offended by their passion. They really do care! I hope you will look to the future & put that thread in the past. You will enjoy YT so much! BTW...I would love to have a white Yorkie some day! I think they are beautiful!

[Jellybears]

Hi Mary! I am fairly new on here. I love reading and posting, I am on here every time I go on my laptop! Most people are very friendly, helpful, and I even try to help those with questions, if I can. It was a great help to me, that they understood my losing my Toffee, last year - that was one of the worst heartbreaks I have been through, and I still get upset sometimes... I also got a negative input in the beginning about something I asked about (I would prefer not to say regarding what - and bring it up again!!). BUT - I think no matter what group you join, there are some very opinionated and that does not mean they are 'right' or 'the rule'. So enjoy being on here - put your experiences and thoughts on - it helps those of us still learning! We all love our furbabies more than anything.....I wonder sometimes whether some would be able to love any actual living, breathing, little heart pumping, tail wagging pup - even though it doesn't meet their standards, or the 'perfect standard' piece of paper better. I will say though - puppy mills are a terrible, disgusting life for any breed, and I wish I could do something to put a stop to them.......looking for you again on here!!!

[Patti]

I am sorry you had such a bad experience but glad it didn't drive you away. As you can see by my post count I post a lot but I always try to be positive and stay away from the controversial threads, maybe I am a chicken but I think there is a nice way to get your point across. Before YT I bought at a petstore, from a BYB and wanted a tiny one. I came here to learn how to be the best owner and have learned so much and made several lifetime friends. So I hope you stay and try to understand that some people show their passion for our babies in a more blunt way.

[BellaDonna]

Originally Posted by Lee B

Sometimes I cringe when I see "newbies" post. You come here happy, proud and wanting to share your joy, only to have folks tear you apart for one thing or another.

The problem, as I see it, is simply that people forget that at one point in their lives they, too, were "uneducated" about all the myriad things affecting our small charges. You fall in love with the breed, want to share your joy ... and then the learning curve begins. In an ideal world, everyone would learn all they could first, THEN acquire a pup. But that's not the reality ...

Some of the people here need to remember how it was when THEY were new, before they started to absorb the knowledge that can be found here. It would also help to put yourself in the poster's shoes before answering ...

If new people are attacked upon joining and stating something perceived "ignorant" as opposed to "uneducated", the poster won't stick around long enough to GET the education. Sometimes it requires taking a deep breath, then carefully choosing words.

The object of this board - and any other animal related board - should be education, with camaraderie and sharing experiences coming in a close second. Education cannot be bludgeoned into the "pupil"; to do so is to alienate, which results in closed minds, rebellion ... and loss of the student. How much will be learned THEN?

We - ALL of us! - love the little furbutts we share our lives with. What we need to try to remember is that everyone has a starting point in learning about our charges - including the person who is posting an "answer". Please remember that not everyone has your experience ... but they're here to learn, so be kind - or you'll run them off.

One other thing: not all the members here live in the U.S., so take into consideration that things are different where they live and make adjustments in your answers (and opinions) accordingly.

Just my opinion ...

I second this entire post! This says pretty much what I think. I agree that you were treated harshly and since I haven't been on the board very long I don't know if that is common here or not but I would say it probably is. I use to belong to a chihuahua board and the same actions take place there. I think opinions are great and I should be able to speak my opinion but there is a point where it becomes attack or elitism and that's sometimes a point people don't realize they have reached.
I like this board so far and have been considering becoming a donating member but I keep holding off because I don't want to give money if I am not going to be welcomed.
What I have found so far is that when I make a post whether it is just showing off Bella or asking for information. I get a bout 2 responses (usually from someone equally new or someone that feels sorry for me because I haven't gotten any response) That is disheartening, since I want lots of ideas and answers or I wouldn't have asked.
At any rate, Welcome Mary and glad you stayed!

[4doggiemama]

It's all a matter of perspective. There are times I go back to a thread that some said was filled with rude comments and I just am not able to see it. There are many different reasons (childhood issues, life style, ethnicity, feelings of self-worth) why each of us reacts to a comment differently. I tend to not comment on controversial subjects, just sit at my computer muttering 'stupid, stupid, stupid.' My dh has finally gotten used to me doing that and ignores me. YorkieTalk does have lots of great information. It's worth sticking around. ~Joanne~

[shodanusmc]

This is a great board, but just look at the number of members, posts, and topics. Large, very diverse group, and not everyone will agree. I can honestly say this is the overall niceest bunch I have ever found on a forum. You want confrontation, go to an Automotive or Military Forum.

I have leaned a lot here, and that is after owning a Yorkie for almost 13 years. Wish I knew way back what I have managed to learn here. I came here to find the best breeders. I have found several who are terrific, and narrowed down our choice for where our future pup will come from.

I have been treated civilly and people will always take their time to reply. You may not agree with everyone, and everyone has their own opinion, but after everything considered, all are Yorkie Supporters,

Best of luck, and stick around.

[DvlshAngel985]

I understand that being a newbie is pretty scary and intimidating. Especially when you know little and then are bombarded with information, it gets overwhelming. The party analogy is a perfect example. I am a member here, another yorkie site (I don't visit at all), and a car site that I resigned. My reason for leaving the car site was that I did what someone else suggested, lurked, read up on other forums and saw what the style was and to be honest, I didn't feel welcome. It wasn't because my car wasn't good enough, or that I didn't work on it enough, it was because I'm a girl. After spending some time I came to realize that the general feel for that site on the girl topic was: girls can't drive stick, so really they should stop trying; girls are only to be there to show pics of them in mini skirts sitting in front of their cars; and after attending a meetup and getting the cold shoulder by all the members (they only spoke to my brothers who came with me) I said enough is enough. I gave it a shot, it's just not for me.
I'm sorry that those that have mixes have a negative view of some of the members and think they have something that is not welcomed here. It really should be the opposite. I for one don't care if you're dog is purple and green, you deserve to be on this site just as much as I do. I will have to warn all the newbies (and I say that with respect) that it will take a lot of reading to understand where everyone is coming from. We have to read up on you to see where you are coming from, and you read up on us. How else are we going to get to know each other?
Another thing to keep in mind is that what you read is just that, words on a screen. There is no way to really tell if a person is joking, if a person is mad, or if a person is really being talked down to. Sometimes people read what they want into a comment that wasn't meant in a mean spirited way, only because we can't see the face behind the post. If someone calls you a straight up poopie head, then that's another story.
I will say this: I hate it when someone comes in that is seemingly looking for advice, then gets mad when things don't go there way. I want each and every new yorkie mom and dad to have the best yorkie owning experience. We all fall in love with the cute faces and the little running balls of fluff, but... if you come asking for help, and ignore it, it is extremely frustrating. I understand if you come to the site and you already have your 4 week, 6 week, 8 week old yorkie. You didn't know better. Members will mention, "hey, you're baby came to you way to young, please watch out for X and Y. You might want to do A, B, and C." But, and I've seen this a few times in my two years here, when a person comes on and says "I am going to adopt a 8 week old yorkie next week, what help can you offer?" obviously in this case the advice will be "don't do it, and this is why." I for one will always admit that I am not, 100% knowledgeable in all things yorkie. If anything, thanks to this site, I went from 0.0001% to a solid 70%. I know better now. Before coming to this site, my dream was to adopt a newborn pup to be able to "raise him the way I want." I know now that notion is ludicrous! I don't speak dog, I don't know how to teach proper dog manners, I don't know how to communicate with a pup that young and I can guarantee that a pup that young in my care has a 95% mortality rate. I am unprepared, un-knowledgeable, and I don't have any maternal instincts. Wouldn't it be the perfect world if nobody had to come to this site and post something along the lines of "my very young pup is sick, what do I do?" when it can easily be avoided. Granted, there are people that do fine. Those cases are rare and those that do have extremely resilient pups.
One last thing and I'll get off my soapbox, I know you're new and you haven't seen this yet, but there are people that come on here to just to break our hearts. They play with our heads because they think it's silly we care this much about "just a stupid dog." They come on here pretending to have some colorful story about some pup, get us all emotionally involved and invested in helping this poor soul care for a pup, then announce "hey jerks we're just pulling your leg." Or they try to pass off as legitimate rescues, or puppy mills try to cover their behinds and come on here to argue. Over time, and as a community, we've learned to protect the little ones and to protect our hearts. Key words like "teacup, designer, CKC" (not Canada) among others send red flags of future heartache to come. We try our best to warn others so they don't go through the same hardships some of the members went through. I consider myself lucky. This site helped me steer clear of 3 or 4 unethical breeders. The wait was long but well worth it. I credit YorkieTalk for leading me straight to the perfect yorkie for me. He is happy, healthy, and a total doll.
Sorry if this is so long and winded, but I hope you understand at least where I'm coming from. Stick around, read, and enjoy the fun stuff this site has to offer.

[red98vett]

maryeverett1 - are you a polititian maybe ?

I've been here forever too like Chattiesmom - seen alot ...and just want to say stick around - I too saw your thread and while you may have had a rocky start - people here do care -

any site this big is going to have a little controversary - and based on how long I've been online this site is pretty tame compared to others I've seen.

No one is hear to beat anyone up - many try to educate and have different ways of offering their opinions - which normal when you have so many different personalities

[shodanusmc]

Bringing Change....I have to respond after thinking of the title of this thread. While I hope you stick around, Personally, I like the board as it is. When I hear the word "change" now, the hair on my neck stands up! No, I will not turn this into a political discussion, but I am not happy with how the CHANGE is working.

Have a great day.

[MI Yorkielover]

Good posts. So glad you're staying Mary.