Mary, I just re-read my post and realized that I failed to welcome you to YorkieTalk. I do hope you decide to stay and become a positive influence and contributor/poster. I agree that positive changes are always coveted, but it is nearly impossible to join an establishedd group of 60,000 plus people and immediately decide that the group needs to change.
Every member here at YT should feel free to post their thoughts without the fear of being bashed. Sometimes when we feel like we are being bashed we are really experiencing an exchange of opposing ideas without which learning cannot take place. Each of us is the sum total of all of our life experiences - and we act/react in response to what life has taught us.
I also agree that there are posters that so seem to present their views a bit harshly. However, as long as they stay within the established posting rules of YT, then they have the right to voice their opinion. If and when a poster is out of line, YT has a process to follow - a process that is clearly outlined in the posting rules.
On a closing note - if there really is an "in" crowd, it doesn't seem to be related to # of posts or tenure -- it has to do with being involved and reaching out to members that you feel a connection with.