Bringing Change to YT!!! - Page 4 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Thomas J · 03-28-2010, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lee B

Sometimes I cringe when I see "newbies" post. You come here happy, proud and wanting to share your joy, only to have folks tear you apart for one thing or another.

The problem, as I see it, is simply that people forget that at one point in their lives they, too, were "uneducated" about all the myriad things affecting our small charges. You fall in love with the breed, want to share your joy ... and then the learning curve begins. In an ideal world, everyone would learn all they could first, THEN acquire a pup. But that's not the reality ...

Some of the people here need to remember how it was when THEY were new, before they started to absorb the knowledge that can be found here. It would also help to put yourself in the poster's shoes before answering ...

If new people are attacked upon joining and stating something perceived "ignorant" as opposed to "uneducated", the poster won't stick around long enough to GET the education. Sometimes it requires taking a deep breath, then carefully choosing words.

The object of this board - and any other animal related board - should be education, with camaraderie and sharing experiences coming in a close second. Education cannot be bludgeoned into the "pupil"; to do so is to alienate, which results in closed minds, rebellion ... and loss of the student. How much will be learned THEN?

We - ALL of us! - love the little furbutts we share our lives with. What we need to try to remember is that everyone has a starting point in learning about our charges - including the person who is posting an "answer". Please remember that not everyone has your experience ... but they're here to learn, so be kind - or you'll run them off.

One other thing: not all the members here live in the U.S., so take into consideration that things are different where they live and make adjustments in your answers (and opinions) accordingly.

Just my opinion ...

Vey Well Said!

maryeverett1 · 03-28-2010, 08:15 AM

I was talking about Lee B in my above comments and thanking her for her post! Still trying to figure out all the ways this site works! I also just wanted to say that I do not think it is necessary to go all around the site and "get to know how the rude people post and their personalities!" Rude is rude and I will never accept that as the "norm" anywhere! I also have no intention of getting advice from or getting to know anyone who treats a human bad but a furry friend good. The humans are the ones in charge of this precious breed so somewhere in here the connection needs to be made that people skills are absolutely necessary and essential to imparting knowledge! Like Lee B said...no one will stick around long enough to learn if they are abused in the process! I am not trying to change anyone's opinion because everyone certainly has the right to theirs! But we can have opinions without doing it in an obnoxious, abusive, mean, confrontational way! Just want people to think before they write! The other day I was not asking for clarification on my dogs or breeder, I was not asking for anyone's help, or advice! I had just come on to say hi and introduce myself and my dogs. I did not realize it at the time but a couple of the words I used were "red flags and buzz words" according to a senior member I spoke to via phone last night at great length! Had someone explained that to me instead of just bashing me, my dogs and my breeder and done it in a non attacking non confrontational manner things might have been very different! But because I didn't agree with their opinion of me and my breeder (which I still don't and was baseless and without merit in my opinion) egos were seriously ruffled! I liken it to President Obama getting all hot and bothered and rolling around in the mud in anger and making a fool of himself because some city council member of a small town in anywhere USA doesn't agree with him, his standards, new legislation etc. How stupid would he look??? He is the president!!! He knows the rules, he knows the country...it wouldn't matter what that little city council member said somewhere! He might give his opinion kindly and with class and move on! So if you are a senior member, a long time breeder and you know everything there is to know about yorkies why would you bash someone over the head because they don't agree with you or they see things differently or God forbid have a real question that sounds stupid to you?? Just be helpful and if they don't agree with you go on about your life and Yorkie causes! The only instance where I could see where it could be okay to get that angry, irate and confrontational would be if someone is on here for devious purposes, hurting the breed or puppies or trying to sell dogs in a manner that is wrong! The situation the other day was not what that was!!! I had an opinion about my breeder and my dogs that these people did not like, they couldn't convince me otherwise and they went bananas on me for it! CAN YOU SAY BIG EGO??? Just like you are entitled to your opinion I am entitled to mine. Its a 2 way street! I was also told last night that I need to earn the respect of senior members? Where does it say that in the rules of this site because I certainly have not read that! Earning respect is a 2 way street! I always treat others with respect but that does not mean I will respect your opinion until you show that you care about mine (not agree with it but respect my right to have one) and are able to tolerate it being different from yours and still treat me with civility! There needs to be respect for one another on this site regardless and the only qualifications for that should be if the people involved love their dogs, love yorkies as a breed and want to become better owners/breeders/yorkie people! and that is the bottom line...period. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive of this thread and willing to personally not put up with this any longer. We cannot change anyone but ourselves but if we make the commitment that we personally will not behave that way or tolerate others that do change WILL come!!!

maryeverett1 · 03-28-2010, 08:17 AM

Fabulous post Quicksilver!!!! Amazing!!! So insightful and every word true and I will for sure be taking that to heart!!

maryeverett1 · 03-28-2010, 08:28 AM

For someone who asked...I am not a politician and I didn't vote for the person we have in there now (not that I fault anyone who did, again just my personal choice) but certain people were insinuating that I was using that line ("Change") because of that...I was not. I just used him as an example because he is our current president...

Thomas J · 03-28-2010, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shodanusmc

Bringing Change....I have to respond after thinking of the title of this thread. While I hope you stick around, Personally, I like the board as it is. When I hear the word "change" now, the hair on my neck stands up! No, I will not turn this into a political discussion, but I am not happy with how the CHANGE is working.

Have a great day.

*LOL* Love It!

maryeverett1 · 03-28-2010, 08:35 AM

I not a politician but I am however a stay at home mom with 2 small girls (4, 6.5) I own my own design business (interior and personal styling) and I am part of a generation that believes anything is possible and that we can change the world!! When I see things that are wrong, unjust etc I believe that nothing can be personally lost by at least trying to make it better!! I have 3 yorkies who I love dearly and hoped when I got on this site I would find a place where people feel the same! I am glad that some of you have no idea what we are all talking about but the theme running through this thread seems to be echoed over and over so that must mean there is some truth to what has been said!

maryeverett1 · 03-28-2010, 08:36 AM

Thomas J...I am not happy with the certain "change" you were talking about either. But we won't go there. You have a friend in me where that is concerned!!!

megansmomma · 03-28-2010, 08:36 AM

I really need to take a deep breath and try to compose myself before beginning to even respond to where you are coming from with this thread. I mean this with the utmost respect but have you read the rules of this forum before you decided to post

Here is a link:
http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/gen...uidelines.html

BonBon · 03-28-2010, 08:38 AM

This is one of my favorite threads on YT. I think it addresses perfectly how many members feel.

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/gen...d-respect.html

yorkie_mama22 · 03-28-2010, 08:39 AM

You can always try for change but if people don't want to change then you can't really change their minds.

You need to realize that this is a public forum with many many yorkie owners from all around the world. They all have different views, opinions and styles. What works for one doesn't work for another. What may be rude to one isn't to another. It sucks but it is reality and life. The world as a whole has become much more mean without taking others feelings into consideration before speaking or typing.

I do believe sometimes things may come off a little more harsh on the internet. One may read something and take it a different way then it is intended to be. I know I have been in that situation even posting with friends on MSN or facebook. The truth is that nobody can hear the tone in your voice, it's all typing and reading. It's left for the imagination.

Being on here I've learned to just grow a tougher skin. I think before I post things and I am always ready for the rude comments. Usually I like to say IF YOU DON'T have nothing nice to say DON'T SAY IT. I have had to put that a few times because you always get those who judge or those who have something up their behind. LOL

I went on a bull terrier forum trying to learn about breeding and I was bashed so bad. When I posted on their about the possible accidental death of my beloved first yorkie they all called me stupid and what kind of idiot are you. People are very hurtful. Usually those people who are so hurtful thrive on putting people down. They put you down to bring themselves up.

Just to add here. I know some of the members who posted in your thread are not mean people. They are very well educated breeders that take much pride in the yorkie breed. Dogs can't speak so sometimes they advocate for them, it may come off mean but really it is all in good faith. You wouldn't believe how many weirdos come on here.

143julz · 03-28-2010, 08:40 AM

Really, rude people??? This is America, (and the whole cyber-world) Can't we all just get along, or move on!!!
Perception, is EVERYTHING!!!!!!

Good luck to you!

BellaBlue82 · 03-28-2010, 08:41 AM

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience on your first day! Not all of us are mean lol... truth be told I haven't seen your thread but I'm gonna go find it because I'm curious as to what happened. Welcome to YT anyway, hope you enjoy from now on!

maryeverett1 · 03-28-2010, 08:53 AM

Megansmomma: Why is it necessary for me to "have read the rules" (which I have btw) to comment on poor, uncivilized and unacceptable behavior?? That is facinating!!!! I was not being oversensitive if you go back and read the thread "new white yorkie" you might understand and if you don't then I'm sorry. If you aren't a person that feels that change is needed you are entitiled to your own opinion and I guess move about your day!!! I am speaking to the people who do feel that something needs to change! and obviously there are a ton of them! Again, everyone is entitled to there own opinion that is the point here! We need to allow everyone to voice that opinion along with questions (that might sound stupid to a pro) in order to get educated! The educators can educate all of us with civility and kindness! Am I in the twilight zone? This doesn't seem like a difficult concept to get! Thank you to those who identify with what I am saying and have been supportive of what I am trying to express. Someone warned me earlier that I may be black listed on YT for doing this! Can I just say that I don't care!!! I'm not worried about that! I have a great base of support, a fantastic vet, knowledgeable yorkie friends and people I can go to for advice. I am worried about the people that don't have that and YT is their only means of getting support and the dogs that depend on those owners finding that support here!!!

Thomas J · 03-28-2010, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maryeverett1

Thomas J...I am not happy with the certain "change" you were talking about either. But we won't go there. You have a friend in me where that is concerned!!!

Thanks..
I read your post from the other day. I knew where it was headed. I am just so sorry you encountered that on your first post.
I'm not sure if people realize how they sound..or if they just don't care.

I love your babies. They are precious!

shodanusmc · 03-28-2010, 09:02 AM

""Megansmomma: Why is it necessary for me to "have read the rules" (which I have btw) to comment on poor, uncivilized and unacceptable behavior?""

I am an old guy, kids grown and gone. Just the wife and the 2 dogs. I am still the same person I was when I was younger, but to my kids, I am smarter now than when they were in their teens and early 20's.
\
After reading every old post on your 1st Post, no one was what I would call rude or uncivilized to you, and no where was their unacceptable behavior. You brought up quite a few red flags, especially the 8 week old *since corrected), breeding rights, not fixing, etc. Seriously, it is time to end this discussion. Thousands of members, and no, this forum is not going to change for you. I bet most her like it the way it is. The person that you had an initial problem with is one of the nicest ladies here, and has forgotten moreabout breeding and Yorkies than most know. Stick around and learn, or go create your own forum!

No Change needed or wanted, well, Until next November!

03-28-2010, 08:36 AM	#53
megansmomma Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: S. W. Suburbs of Chicago, IL Posts: 12,235	I really need to take a deep breath and try to compose myself before beginning to even respond to where you are coming from with this thread. I mean this with the utmost respect but have you read the rules of this forum before you decided to post Here is a link: http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/gen...uidelines.html __________________ “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” Mark Twain

03-28-2010, 08:38 AM	#54
BonBon Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: With my yorkies Posts: 10,350	This is one of my favorite threads on YT. I think it addresses perfectly how many members feel. http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/gen...d-respect.html __________________ He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. -- Author Unknown

03-28-2010, 08:39 AM	#55
yorkie_mama22 Currently Suspended! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 2,275	You can always try for change but if people don't want to change then you can't really change their minds. You need to realize that this is a public forum with many many yorkie owners from all around the world. They all have different views, opinions and styles. What works for one doesn't work for another. What may be rude to one isn't to another. It sucks but it is reality and life. The world as a whole has become much more mean without taking others feelings into consideration before speaking or typing. I do believe sometimes things may come off a little more harsh on the internet. One may read something and take it a different way then it is intended to be. I know I have been in that situation even posting with friends on MSN or facebook. The truth is that nobody can hear the tone in your voice, it's all typing and reading. It's left for the imagination. Being on here I've learned to just grow a tougher skin. I think before I post things and I am always ready for the rude comments. Usually I like to say IF YOU DON'T have nothing nice to say DON'T SAY IT. I have had to put that a few times because you always get those who judge or those who have something up their behind. LOL I went on a bull terrier forum trying to learn about breeding and I was bashed so bad. When I posted on their about the possible accidental death of my beloved first yorkie they all called me stupid and what kind of idiot are you. People are very hurtful. Usually those people who are so hurtful thrive on putting people down. They put you down to bring themselves up. Just to add here. I know some of the members who posted in your thread are not mean people. They are very well educated breeders that take much pride in the yorkie breed. Dogs can't speak so sometimes they advocate for them, it may come off mean but really it is all in good faith. You wouldn't believe how many weirdos come on here. Last edited by yorkie_mama22; 03-28-2010 at 08:43 AM.

03-28-2010, 08:40 AM	#56
143julz Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Largo, FL Posts: 1,294	Really, rude people??? This is America, (and the whole cyber-world) Can't we all just get along, or move on!!! Perception, is EVERYTHING!!!!!! Good luck to you! __________________ Dudley Doo and Dexter too!!! RIP (12/93-10/08) MY LIL JULZ!!!

03-28-2010, 08:41 AM	#57
BellaBlue82 Twilight lovin' Yakker Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 1,642	I'm sorry that you had a bad experience on your first day! Not all of us are mean lol... truth be told I haven't seen your thread but I'm gonna go find it because I'm curious as to what happened. Welcome to YT anyway, hope you enjoy from now on! __________________ *BellaBlue ~ Mommy to Sasha!*

03-28-2010, 08:15 AM	#47
maryeverett1 BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Virginia Beach, VA Posts: 795	I was talking about Lee B in my above comments and thanking her for her post! Still trying to figure out all the ways this site works! I also just wanted to say that I do not think it is necessary to go all around the site and "get to know how the rude people post and their personalities!" Rude is rude and I will never accept that as the "norm" anywhere! I also have no intention of getting advice from or getting to know anyone who treats a human bad but a furry friend good. The humans are the ones in charge of this precious breed so somewhere in here the connection needs to be made that people skills are absolutely necessary and essential to imparting knowledge! Like Lee B said...no one will stick around long enough to learn if they are abused in the process! I am not trying to change anyone's opinion because everyone certainly has the right to theirs! But we can have opinions without doing it in an obnoxious, abusive, mean, confrontational way! Just want people to think before they write! The other day I was not asking for clarification on my dogs or breeder, I was not asking for anyone's help, or advice! I had just come on to say hi and introduce myself and my dogs. I did not realize it at the time but a couple of the words I used were "red flags and buzz words" according to a senior member I spoke to via phone last night at great length! Had someone explained that to me instead of just bashing me, my dogs and my breeder and done it in a non attacking non confrontational manner things might have been very different! But because I didn't agree with their opinion of me and my breeder (which I still don't and was baseless and without merit in my opinion) egos were seriously ruffled! I liken it to President Obama getting all hot and bothered and rolling around in the mud in anger and making a fool of himself because some city council member of a small town in anywhere USA doesn't agree with him, his standards, new legislation etc. How stupid would he look??? He is the president!!! He knows the rules, he knows the country...it wouldn't matter what that little city council member said somewhere! He might give his opinion kindly and with class and move on! So if you are a senior member, a long time breeder and you know everything there is to know about yorkies why would you bash someone over the head because they don't agree with you or they see things differently or God forbid have a real question that sounds stupid to you?? Just be helpful and if they don't agree with you go on about your life and Yorkie causes! The only instance where I could see where it could be okay to get that angry, irate and confrontational would be if someone is on here for devious purposes, hurting the breed or puppies or trying to sell dogs in a manner that is wrong! The situation the other day was not what that was!!! I had an opinion about my breeder and my dogs that these people did not like, they couldn't convince me otherwise and they went bananas on me for it! CAN YOU SAY BIG EGO??? Just like you are entitled to your opinion I am entitled to mine. Its a 2 way street! I was also told last night that I need to earn the respect of senior members? Where does it say that in the rules of this site because I certainly have not read that! Earning respect is a 2 way street! I always treat others with respect but that does not mean I will respect your opinion until you show that you care about mine (not agree with it but respect my right to have one) and are able to tolerate it being different from yours and still treat me with civility! There needs to be respect for one another on this site regardless and the only qualifications for that should be if the people involved love their dogs, love yorkies as a breed and want to become better owners/breeders/yorkie people! and that is the bottom line...period. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive of this thread and willing to personally not put up with this any longer. We cannot change anyone but ourselves but if we make the commitment that we personally will not behave that way or tolerate others that do change WILL come!!!

03-28-2010, 08:17 AM	#48
maryeverett1 BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Virginia Beach, VA Posts: 795	Fabulous post Quicksilver!!!! Amazing!!! So insightful and every word true and I will for sure be taking that to heart!!

03-28-2010, 08:28 AM	#49
maryeverett1 BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Virginia Beach, VA Posts: 795	For someone who asked...I am not a politician and I didn't vote for the person we have in there now (not that I fault anyone who did, again just my personal choice) but certain people were insinuating that I was using that line ("Change") because of that...I was not. I just used him as an example because he is our current president...

03-28-2010, 08:35 AM	#51
maryeverett1 BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Virginia Beach, VA Posts: 795	I not a politician but I am however a stay at home mom with 2 small girls (4, 6.5) I own my own design business (interior and personal styling) and I am part of a generation that believes anything is possible and that we can change the world!! When I see things that are wrong, unjust etc I believe that nothing can be personally lost by at least trying to make it better!! I have 3 yorkies who I love dearly and hoped when I got on this site I would find a place where people feel the same! I am glad that some of you have no idea what we are all talking about but the theme running through this thread seems to be echoed over and over so that must mean there is some truth to what has been said!

03-28-2010, 08:53 AM	#58
maryeverett1 BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Virginia Beach, VA Posts: 795	Megansmomma: Why is it necessary for me to "have read the rules" (which I have btw) to comment on poor, uncivilized and unacceptable behavior?? That is facinating!!!! I was not being oversensitive if you go back and read the thread "new white yorkie" you might understand and if you don't then I'm sorry. If you aren't a person that feels that change is needed you are entitiled to your own opinion and I guess move about your day!!! I am speaking to the people who do feel that something needs to change! and obviously there are a ton of them! Again, everyone is entitled to there own opinion that is the point here! We need to allow everyone to voice that opinion along with questions (that might sound stupid to a pro) in order to get educated! The educators can educate all of us with civility and kindness! Am I in the twilight zone? This doesn't seem like a difficult concept to get! Thank you to those who identify with what I am saying and have been supportive of what I am trying to express. Someone warned me earlier that I may be black listed on YT for doing this! Can I just say that I don't care!!! I'm not worried about that! I have a great base of support, a fantastic vet, knowledgeable yorkie friends and people I can go to for advice. I am worried about the people that don't have that and YT is their only means of getting support and the dogs that depend on those owners finding that support here!!!

03-28-2010, 09:02 AM	#60
shodanusmc BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Illinois Posts: 4,603	""Megansmomma: Why is it necessary for me to "have read the rules" (which I have btw) to comment on poor, uncivilized and unacceptable behavior?"" I am an old guy, kids grown and gone. Just the wife and the 2 dogs. I am still the same person I was when I was younger, but to my kids, I am smarter now than when they were in their teens and early 20's. \ After reading every old post on your 1st Post, no one was what I would call rude or uncivilized to you, and no where was their unacceptable behavior. You brought up quite a few red flags, especially the 8 week old *since corrected), breeding rights, not fixing, etc. Seriously, it is time to end this discussion. Thousands of members, and no, this forum is not going to change for you. I bet most her like it the way it is. The person that you had an initial problem with is one of the nicest ladies here, and has forgotten moreabout breeding and Yorkies than most know. Stick around and learn, or go create your own forum! No Change needed or wanted, well, Until next November!