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Old 02-24-2009, 07:58 AM   #1
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Angry Very upset with a message from a YT member!

If anyone would take the time to review the posts I have submitted on this site, they would see that I have always thanked and complimented the YT members for their assistance, compassion, caring and for taking the time to answer all of my questions and concerns - or simply for taking the time to give me positive feedback on the little videos or pictures I have posted of my Bella and her babies - - until yesterday. This site is so important to me that I became a donating member - I appreciate being able to have a site such as this one.

I posted a little video of my Bella and two of her puppies that we are taking care of while their new parents are on vacation. I just posted it yesterday afternoon and have already received nine glowing comments and another private message complimenting my post. Unfortunately, I did receive another private message that was just absolutely insulting to me as an animal lover and caretaker. I responded to this member's private message, but all night last night, it still bothered me. I decided to post his message and my response in this open forum (though I crossed out his name - using better judgment than he did when he judged me). By posting these messages on the open forum, I am not asking for any responses or support. I did not feel as though I needed to justify anything. For the record only, I want people to know that judging someone unfairly can truly hurt the one being judged. I thank you for letting me vent. I have pasted his initial message to me and my response below:


__________________________________________________ ______________
Originally Posted by XXXXXXX

I'm sure mommy was glad to see how big her babies had gotten. While watching the video I noticed what looks like stone tile in front of the couch they were playing on. When the one dog jumped off the couch I was worried that it might fall over and hits its head on the stone. You might want to look at this.

Not being nosey, just worried Yorkie Owner.

John


John,

Thank you for taking the time to voice your concern regarding my care of my animals. I have 19 animals and live out in the country. Most of them were abused, neglected and dumped - obviously, not my Yorkie. I have taken each one in, immediately taken them to the vet, and they all receive unconditional love, security, continuous vet care, shelter, and above all, every one of them is like one of my children. We have spent thousands of dollars for care and maintenance for animals that others just threw away as if they were trash.

My college-aged daughter and I helped Bella deliver her four pups and I took care of them for eight weeks without incident. Since I am semi-retired from the legal profession, I am at home most of the time. My home is absolutely safe for animals and/or small children. I am and always have been very safety conscious under all circumstances.

I viewed the video again and watched the part that you were concerned about. Since you have never been in my home, you would not know that the table you referred to weighs about 300 pounds and was custom-made with our animals in mind. The tiles will not break, nor are they a safety hazard to animals or people alike. I am assuming since you have not been here, you were not able to notice the distance between the couch and the table. It is of a distance that when our little animals or large animals either jump from the floor to the couch or vice versa, they will not be injured, nor has any such injury ever occurred.

You suggested I look into "this." There is no need as I pride myself on taking excellent care of my animals as well as loving them like my children. Lastly, you signed off as "just worried Yorkie Owner." I suggest you choose someone else to criticize or perhaps choose a cause that people really need to worry about. Better yet, perhaps you should go to an animal shelter and worry about getting homes for those forgotten and lonely animals who never asked for their plight.

Thank you for taking the time to voice your concerns. I hope my response will adequately put your worries about my animals to rest.

Sincerely,

Someone Who Cares
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:08 AM   #2
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Well.....I didn't see anything wrong with his concern. I think you could have explained it a little less harsh. JMO
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:08 AM   #3
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I don't see anything wrong with there message They were concerned . I would be upset if he said " Hey what are you an animal abuser get rid of that floor"

I don't see anything wrong with that message.

Now if i received your message back I would be upset it was not very nice.

Just my opinion anyways.


Edit to add--- i just looked at the video & i see that it is a tile table & wow it does look dangerous especially the corners Now i see why they were concerned.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:11 AM   #4
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i actually think this was just a concerned person trying to help..-- i dont think i would have been offended however everyone is left to their own interpretation i suppose...
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:15 AM   #5
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I just think he was concerned and didnt mean to insult you
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:17 AM   #6
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i think they were just concerned, i understand it could hurt your feelings tho as we all want to tak care of our babies and it hurts that we may have missed something...dont worry he was prolly just concerned
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:17 AM   #7
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I think the pm was very well intentioned.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:21 AM   #8
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I have to agree with the others. The poster was just expressing concern, and put it in as nice of a way possible. Not to offend you, but I think that you are being overly sensitive, and it's probably because you care for your pets so much.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:27 AM   #9
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I think John's concern was sincere & not meant to be critical. He chose to use a PM to express his concern as opposed to posting on the public forum which makes a difference.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:35 AM   #10
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I got nothing "absolutely insulting" out of his private pm.

If he was being an arse, he would have posted something nasty publicly.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:38 AM   #11
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While his intentions might have been good, I can fully understand how it might be taken as questioning how you care for your babies. Sometimes people on this forum can become very critical and downright harsh so I often find myself reading with that thought in my head. I think that people need to realize that when you question how someone raises or handles thier Yorkies you are basically questioning thier skills as a parent and I am sure that no one would appreciatte that very much. I have noticed several times that some members can be downright degrading to others and it has had me thinking of getting out, but there are also some wonderful people here who are not judgemental in the least and they are why I stay.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:48 AM   #12
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I don't see anything wrong with the message, although I can see where you might feel "questioned" and "judged" you have to understand that as members of this community we do see the harsh side of things that could have been prevented by a single message from a concerned onwer such as the one you received.

We hear sometimes tragic stories of our fellow Yorkie owners losing their babies to the dangers of everyday household things that NOT EVERYONE SEEMS TO NOTICE or take as a hazard such as:

Tile Floors
Washing Machines
FEET
Coffee Tables
Jumping from Couches
Jumping from Beds and Chairs and other furniture
Rubber or Hard toys
Garbage and Waste
and COUNTLESS OTHER EVERYDAY HOUSEHOLD THINGS...

So In looking at it that way, I truely don't think "John" had ill intentions .. he was only trying to prevent what could have been a horrible accident in the future if you were a Yorkie owner who doesn't know the dangers. But clearly, it seems that you do.. and with that being said .. I am sure that you are watching out as it's obvious you love your babies.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:51 AM   #13
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I have to agree with everyone else. I see nothing wrong with the pm.

I find the pm to be rather nice. It is nice to see that others care about our furbabies, I would rather be surrounded by people who care about them rather than vice versa.
He did not in any way insult your dogs or how they were being cared for. I think everyone can see that they are well cared for and loved by just looking at the video, which was adorable by the way!!

And his concern is rather legit.
Do you know how many stories there are on here of yorkies jumping off the couch and hitting their head on something. With a yorkie a bump on the head can be fatal. I can bet those members wished someone else would have told them and saved them from the heartache.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:54 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bildio View Post
I think John's concern was sincere & not meant to be critical. He chose to use a PM to express his concern as opposed to posting on the public forum which makes a difference.
I agree 100%. I just watched the video. The kids were absolutely adorable in the video, but I would have to agree with John that it does look like a dangerous situation. John chose to contact you privately and voice his concern instead of posting publicly. Pm's shoudl remain private unless you get a rude, threatening or harrrassing pm, then it should be reported to Admin or a Moderator for action.

If that was all of the message, then the only thing I get out of it is a YTer expressing genuine concern about the safety of your babies by pointing out a potential danger that you might have missed. Just one slip or one mis-judged jump could cause serious damage or death to a beloved yorkie. Unless you have lost a Yorkie to an tragic accident, you really can't understand. Even though you might not have agreed with his pm, a simple "thank you for your concern" reply would have been more appropriate.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:58 AM   #15
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Are we allowed to post pm's like that?

Sorry ot, but I don't know if I would agree with it. It seems a little unfair to "John".
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