I need some advice

[Zanders' mom]

Affirmations are wonderful, someone told me for every negative comment the child gets in school, turn it around to a positive. REmind him he is not a failure, isn't it you that can do this? this? and that? Everyone is good at different things, etc.
Just trying to help.

[memphismomma]

Originally Posted by YorkieRose

Children do not fail kindergarten...the school has failed. I would do all I could to afford a school where they understand the childs needs. Almost all children will adjust and thrive in the right situation.

This reminds me His school is what they call a " test" school because their test scores on average are well bellow standard when i found this i tried several times to relocate him but every School remotely near us was filled
I was also told that they have more resources beacuase of them being a test school i dont know how true that is but i just wanted to mention that
Im in no way blaming his school but they havent really help either

[chachi]

Originally Posted by memphismomma

we cant afford a private school but im doing what i can to get him into a charter school which is basically free private school but it works on a lottery so we can only wait and see if he gets in

Charter schools are wonderful! My 7 yr old daughter goes to one. My Son went to a private school but I feel the charter school is better in alot of way than the private school. I hope your son gets in. There was a lottery at my Daughter also but there wasn't enough Children that applied for my daughters grade that warranted a lottery so everyone that applied got in. This year her Cousin is trying to get into the school and I hope t works out for her also

[Little Bit]

I think the poster was right who said diet can play a big factor. I had my kids on the Feingold Diet http://www.feingold.org/ when they were little.
It basically cuts out all preservatives, artificial colors and flavors. It made a big difference. As they get older, though it is harder to keep them on it. Now is a good time to start and you will know within a couple of weeks if this is the problem with your son or not. Good luck! I understand the frustration.

[Tiramisu]

Originally Posted by YorkieRose

Children do not fail kindergarten...the school has failed. I would do all I could to afford a school where they understand the childs needs. Almost all children will adjust and thrive in the right situation.

I agree!

[Zanders' mom]

THanks for sharing this site, I'm going to go read.

Originally Posted by Little Bit

I think the poster was right who said diet can play a big factor. I had my kids on the Feingold Diet http://www.feingold.org/ when they were little.
It basically cuts out all preservatives, artificial colors and flavors. It made a big difference. As they get older, though it is harder to keep them on it. Now is a good time to start and you will know within a couple of weeks if this is the problem with your son or not. Good luck! I understand the frustration.

[memphismomma]

Originally Posted by Zanders' mom

Affirmations are wonderful, someone told me for every negative comment the child gets in school, turn it around to a positive. REmind him he is not a failure, isn't it you that can do this? this? and that? Everyone is good at different things, etc.
Just trying to help.

oh yes i try to do this if he has a bad day i try and reenforce it into a postive
but still explain that his actions affect everyone and he has to be responible

[Zanders' mom]

One Friday night there was a program on PBS, we rarely watch PBS but it caught our eyes (hubby & me), it was a documentary of children as young as 3-4 yrs. old being put on ADHD meds for behaviour issues. The child would be given a prescription for impulsiveness, the parent would then come back a week or 2 later with another symptom, so here is a prescription for anxiety!, 2 weeks later, here is a prescription for tics! My hubby and I were in tearsss! These poor children given meds like EXPERIMENTAL rats, because half of these meds have not been around all that LONG! The documentary went on & on, with different children and the effects of the meds. I wish I could remember what the documentary was called. It was truly heart breaking and an eye opener.

[Little Bit]

Originally Posted by Zanders' mom

One Friday night there was a program on PBS, we rarely watch PBS but it caught our eyes (hubby & me), it was a documentary of children as young as 3-4 yrs. old being put on ADHD meds for behaviour issues. The child would be given a prescription for impulsiveness, the parent would then come back a week or 2 later with another symptom, so here is a prescription for anxiety!, 2 weeks later, here is a prescription for tics! My hubby and I were in tearsss! These poor children given meds like EXPERIMENTAL rats, because half of these meds have not been around all that LONG! The documentary went on & on, with different children and the effects of the meds. I wish I could remember what the documentary was called. It was truly heart breaking and an eye opener.

I just caught a little bit of this last night. It was very eye opening! You can watch the whole thing online here: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontl...ild_2008-04-09

It was called "The Medicated Child".

[mojo]

Originally Posted by memphismomma

Ok so this Will be my first post that is Remotly personal so i want to post here instead of the open forum
so here it goes
PLEASE no negative comments

(deep breath) My oldest son Cody is failing Kindegarden and when i say failing im mean eveything BUT socail skills and this for some reason is minamal at best i dont get it altou Cody can be rambucious he is caring and seeks friends he seems to lack the self cofidence to be a leader with his peers and puppy dog follows kids and this seems to make hime left out alot.

Academically he is a complete Mess he cant sit still while learning and gets frustrated Quickly so we went to the doctors who said he may have adhd we filled out the questionaires and got the lowest dose meds we could. Things got a lil better but then he flatlined again and it seemed to worsen his self esteem so the doctor and i agreed to take him off back at sqaure one !!

heres what weve done so far we work with him everynight roatating what we do each night to completely go over what he should know at this point
in Kindergarden .... every night we have a blowout crying child with such low self esteem i end up crying its a total mess i dont know where he gets this we praise him all the time
heres what the school had done NOTHING we have fought and fought with them and the best they've done is some counseling he has gone 5 times over this las year and they where all in the begging of the year... I have sense pulled him from this and a reading recovery program which is a half hour 3 times a week they basically just go over ABCs and sight words

they have told us 1 we dont qualify (finicailly) for help like tutoring and 2 if they test him for special needs and he doesnt qualify he wont be able to get tested for 2 more yrs


OK so heres my questions
should i try another med for adhd ( i just hate to think im comotosing him)
does anyone have a child with adhd that doesnt have typical syndromes
has anyone gone tru this
what do i do about his school , they seem to fight me every which way
am i failing him ?

i need help and i just dont know where to turn

I am sorry I didnt read the other posts, so hope i am not repetative.
I STRONGLY disagree with medicating a child so that a school can more easily cope with him.
I don't want to post personal information here, but I will say I have a child who was disruptive in class.
The counselor said to make sure he got at least an hour of physical excersize a day (an hour on our treadmill/outside of regular running around) and I had to start his day out with protien. I bought protien powder and would make a shake for him.
I know that sounds simple and silly, but I tried it and it really worked for us.
Children are children and they have a lot of energy and can be disruptive. I completly disagree with medicating them so they are no longer themselves.
Just my opinion.

[Brookef18]

Originally Posted by memphismomma

Ok so this Will be my first post that is Remotly personal so i want to post here instead of the open forum
so here it goes
PLEASE no negative comments

(deep breath) My oldest son Cody is failing Kindegarden and when i say failing im mean eveything BUT socail skills and this for some reason is minamal at best i dont get it altou Cody can be rambucious he is caring and seeks friends he seems to lack the self cofidence to be a leader with his peers and puppy dog follows kids and this seems to make hime left out alot.

Academically he is a complete Mess he cant sit still while learning and gets frustrated Quickly so we went to the doctors who said he may have adhd we filled out the questionaires and got the lowest dose meds we could. Things got a lil better but then he flatlined again and it seemed to worsen his self esteem so the doctor and i agreed to take him off back at sqaure one !!

heres what weve done so far we work with him everynight roatating what we do each night to completely go over what he should know at this point
in Kindergarden .... every night we have a blowout crying child with such low self esteem i end up crying its a total mess i dont know where he gets this we praise him all the time
heres what the school had done NOTHING we have fought and fought with them and the best they've done is some counseling he has gone 5 times over this las year and they where all in the begging of the year... I have sense pulled him from this and a reading recovery program which is a half hour 3 times a week they basically just go over ABCs and sight words

they have told us 1 we dont qualify (finicailly) for help like tutoring and 2 if they test him for special needs and he doesnt qualify he wont be able to get tested for 2 more yrs


OK so heres my questions
should i try another med for adhd ( i just hate to think im comotosing him)
does anyone have a child with adhd that doesnt have typical syndromes
has anyone gone tru this
what do i do about his school , they seem to fight me every which way
am i failing him ?

i need help and i just dont know where to turn

I sent you a PM...with my phone # If you call now this is a good time for me. Brooke

[Tammyh]

I agree, teachers are way too quick to "diagnose" ADHD with kids. My nephew was "labeled" ADHD by his 2nd grade teacher. Knowing him the way I do I knew there is no way this kid is ADHD. The teacher & principal kept pushing his parents to medicate him. They took him to his doctor who referred him to a specialist for testing and guess what? No, he is not ADHD. This kid can sit for hours doing something he likes, obviousely the problem was the teacher. Even though they have written documentation from the specialist that he is not ADHD, the "title" followed him for several years (he's in 6th grade now). All it takes is one teacher to ruin a kid for life when it comes to school or even socially. Every kid that I know who had a teacher when they were young that singled them out in a negative way has had self-esteem issues. These teachers just don't realize the damage they do to these kids. And it doesn't matter if it's private or public school. I've been very blessed with good teachers with all 3 of my kids in public school but my nephew goes to private school and some of his teachers were nightmares. I'm certainly no expert on the issue but I would definitely have him tested by specialist before I would even consider putting him on meds, even if the results were positive for ADHD I would try other natural methods of treatment. I'll tell you one thing, diet does make a difference. With my nephew, he couldn't seem to sit still. His parents changed his diet, no more sugar cereals - eggs or other healthy breakfasts instead and they did see a difference. I wish you well, my heart goes out to you. I'm glad to hear he'll be going to a different school next year, let's hope his "title" doesn't follow him. I would look at his student folder to see what's been written about him. Best of luck in dealing with this, my prayers are with you both.

[memphismomma]

Originally Posted by Tammyh

I would look at his student folder to see what's been written about him. Best of luck in dealing with this, my prayers are with you both.

i didnt know you could do that how do i go about getting it ? if it has something " labeling" can i have it changed ?

[Brookef18]

Originally Posted by memphismomma

i didnt know you could do that how do i go about getting it ? if it has something " labeling" can i have it changed ?

You can go into the school ask to see his folder. They sometimes will make you wait a day or so...(They can remove info if that is the case. It happened to my Mom) But if they hand you the floder you can sit an read it. I would not call, I would go in so you have a better chance of them just giving it to you.

[patty58]

My heart is breaking for you and your son. I have been there. My youngest son (who is 29 now) had the same problems. He was diagnosed add. I chose NOT to medicate him. When I tried to get him in special ed, they fought me because I wouldn't medicate him. All I can tell you is FIGHT FOR HIM. Don't take no for an answer. There are so many different FREE programs that schools offer but don't advertise My son got to the point where he wouldn't go to school so I marched up there and demanded that he be changed to a different class....one where "these" kind of kids were not singled out. We struggled for years with his self esteem (and I think we overdid it because he has plenty now ) You can look at their folders. Good luck in the fight for your son. I worked in the school system for years and mostly with spec. ed. If you have any questions, PM me.