My heart is breaking for you and your son. I have been there. My youngest son (who is 29 now) had the same problems. He was diagnosed add. I chose NOT to medicate him. When I tried to get him in special ed, they fought me because I wouldn't medicate him. All I can tell you is FIGHT FOR HIM. Don't take no for an answer. There are so many different FREE programs that schools offer but don't advertise
My son got to the point where he wouldn't go to school so I marched up there and demanded that he be changed to a different class....one where "these" kind of kids were not singled out. We struggled for years with his self esteem (and I think we overdid it because he has plenty now
) You can look at their folders. Good luck in the fight for your son. I worked in the school system for years and mostly with spec. ed. If you have any questions, PM me.