I need some advice - YorkieTalk.com Forums

memphismomma · 04-08-2008, 09:35 PM

Ok so this Will be my first post that is Remotly personal so i want to post here instead of the open forum
so here it goes
PLEASE no negative comments

(deep breath) My oldest son Cody is failing Kindegarden and when i say failing im mean eveything BUT socail skills and this for some reason is minamal at best i dont get it altou Cody can be rambucious he is caring and seeks friends he seems to lack the self cofidence to be a leader with his peers and puppy dog follows kids and this seems to make hime left out alot.

Academically he is a complete Mess he cant sit still while learning and gets frustrated Quickly so we went to the doctors who said he may have adhd we filled out the questionaires and got the lowest dose meds we could. Things got a lil better but then he flatlined again and it seemed to worsen his self esteem so the doctor and i agreed to take him off back at sqaure one !!

heres what weve done so far we work with him everynight roatating what we do each night to completely go over what he should know at this point
in Kindergarden .... every night we have a blowout crying child with such low self esteem i end up crying its a total mess i dont know where he gets this we praise him all the time
heres what the school had done NOTHING we have fought and fought with them and the best they've done is some counseling he has gone 5 times over this las year and they where all in the begging of the year... I have sense pulled him from this and a reading recovery program which is a half hour 3 times a week they basically just go over ABCs and sight words

they have told us 1 we dont qualify (finicailly) for help like tutoring and 2 if they test him for special needs and he doesnt qualify he wont be able to get tested for 2 more yrs

OK so heres my questions
should i try another med for adhd ( i just hate to think im comotosing him)
does anyone have a child with adhd that doesnt have typical syndromes
has anyone gone tru this
what do i do about his school , they seem to fight me every which way
am i failing him ?

i need help and i just dont know where to turn

Proud Mommy · 04-08-2008, 09:50 PM

you know I love you Julie...

I can give some insight into why he exhibits those behaviors but you have to be ready to hear it

memphismomma · 04-08-2008, 09:56 PM

at this point ive beat my self up for just about everything possible so nothing you could say will shock or upset me so pm

LittleMansMomma · 04-08-2008, 10:04 PM

I'm sorry your having to go through this. I don't have any children myself, but I do have nieces and nephews that have adhd. It's a hard and long road of what ifs. Bless your heart! No, your not failing him.

Sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I will definitely keep you and your son in my prayers.

odies_mama · 04-08-2008, 10:15 PM

i think my nephew who is in kindergarten too, may be add. hes really smart one minute but then the next he's like a completely different kid. always getting in trouble in school, and coming home with bad reports.

i cant do much since he's not my son, but me and his teacher DO NOT get along! i basically told her she was a stupid B**** and that she wasnt working with my nephew enough but rather just punishing him! she didnt like that too much, but things did seem to get a little better.

im not by any means telling u to get in ur sons teachers face like i did, but she had it coming. she went to school with my sister and bro-in-law and i think she has resentment towards them for some reason and she is taking it out on my nephew, but i put her in her place! =]

i'll keep yall in my prayers. and please keep us updated!

memphismomma · 04-08-2008, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by memphismomma

at this point ive beat my self up for just about everything possible so nothing you could say will shock or upset me so pm me

or call me when you can

memphismomma · 04-08-2008, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by odies_mama

i think my nephew who is in kindergarten too, may be add. hes really smart one minute but then the next he's like a completely different kid. always getting in trouble in school, and coming home with bad reports.

i cant do much since he's not my son, but me and his teacher DO NOT get along! i basically told her she was a stupid B**** and that she wasnt working with my nephew enough but rather just punishing him! she didnt like that too much, but things did seem to get a little better.

im not by any means telling u to get in ur sons teachers face like i did, but she had it coming. she went to school with my sister and bro-in-law and i think she has resentment towards them for some reason and she is taking it out on my nephew, but i put her in her place! =]

i'll keep yall in my prayers. and please keep us updated!

I have had a various convos with his teacher about singling him out he has never got a report where he acted out in a way that was angry or volitale he just breaks down and she sends notes saying how bad he was for that
but our words where when she loudly said he has problems in front of other parents and students ( kinda a long story ) and when i spoke to the principal she did nothing but defend her next year he will attend another school so hopefully her negative behaviour towards him will not follow him

memphismomma · 04-08-2008, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleMansMomma

I'm sorry your having to go through this. I don't have any children myself, but I do have nieces and nephews that have adhd. It's a hard and long road of what ifs. Bless your heart! No, your not failing him.

Sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I will definitely keep you and your son in my prayers.

Thank you but its so hard not to think that ive done something wrong

KitKat · 04-08-2008, 10:28 PM

It seems more and more children are getting ADHD. I wonder what is causing all these kids to get it. Maybe you should look up more natural ways to treat it such as organic foods, organic meat-just a total change of diet. Maybe try to find a message board which supports mothers of children with ADHD because I am sure they would have some great advice! Good luck!

missj2007 · 04-08-2008, 10:37 PM

My brother has ADHD, and he failed the first grade. We were just studying children with learning disabilities in my college class and the thing I find that helps is when a teacher does NOT single the child out and should think about changing their lesson plan around to teach their diverse class room. His teacher sounds like my brother teacher. It was like everyday he found something to say about my brother and kept complaining about him until the school told my mom to get him check out for ADHD . He received the meds and started doing better in school but soon my mother stopped them and he is back at it again. The teacher has to be willing to work with the student and parent if not, things will not improve. It makes me so upset when I hear this especially when a parent is trying but the teacher feels as if they have to single the child out which is a big NO NO. HUGS to you for being a great mom!

memphismomma · 04-08-2008, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missj2007

My brother has ADHD, and he failed the first grade. We were just studying children with learning disabilities in my college class and the thing I find that helps is when a teacher does NOT single the child out and should think about changing their lesson plan around to teach their diverse class room. His teacher sounds like my brother teacher. It was like everyday he found something to say about my brother and kept complaining about him until the school told my mom to get him check out for ADHD . He received the meds and started doing better in school but soon my mother stopped them and he is back at it again. The teacher has to be willing to work with the student and parent if not, things will not improve. It makes me so upset when I hear this especially when a parent is trying but the teacher feels as if they have to single the child out which is a big NO NO. HUGS to you for being a great mom!

Im reading a book where it has a various view points about adhd and meds
anyway theres a point in it that says how parents often go ahead and medicate because it seems to apease schools and teachers and that when a child is taken off meds seems to rebound not only because of adhd but because now the child has a complex to go along with it becuase theve been told your taking this med becuase " there is something worng with you " not to say that is the case with your brother just a point hat the book talks about but it really makes alot sense because i mean the stigmatism with adhd is not a good one and childern even if not told that will sense it

missj2007 · 04-08-2008, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by memphismomma

Im reading a book where it has a various view points about adhd and meds
anyway theres a point in it that says how parents often go ahead and medicate because it seems to apease schools and teachers and that when a child is taken off meds seems to rebound not only because of adhd but because now the child has a complex to go along with it becuase theve been told your taking this med becuase " there is something worng with you " not to say that is the case with your brother just a point hat the book talks about but it really makes alot sense because i mean the stigmatism with adhd is not a good one and childern even if not told that will sense it

I will have to agree with you. My brother has said it himself, "Maybe I should start back taking my medicine." So the child does feel that way and it's really sad. It just made me so mad how his teacher acts toward him well teachers because his teacher before the teacher he has now singled him out.

memphismomma · 04-09-2008, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missj2007

I will have to agree with you. My brother has said it himself, "Maybe I should start back taking my medicine." So the child does feel that way and it's really sad. It just made me so mad how his teacher acts toward him well teachers because his teacher before the teacher he has now singled him out.

I can tell you this no matter what anyone says i know dang well that teachers do black label students My aunt is a teacher and just retired after many many years and will blankly tell you yes teachers do this,, not all mind you but they do and most have at one point or another she says they even gossip about kids to each other
shes not helpful very much to me as she is older and has many many mood swings lol but i love her with all my heart

memphismomma · 04-09-2008, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missj2007

I will have to agree with you. My brother has said it himself, "Maybe I should start back taking my medicine." So the child does feel that way and it's really sad. It just made me so mad how his teacher acts toward him well teachers because his teacher before the teacher he has now singled him out.

its a great book its called "The Gift of ADHD" by Lara Honos-Webb its like a work book to help parents and childern work tru the stigmatism and all sorts of things great great activities in it

lilfoot · 04-09-2008, 04:20 AM

I for one really hate it that anytime that a child acts out immediately they say it is add or adhd and right away it is onto medication. As a teachers aid for the past 5 years I cannot tell you how often these enegetic kids are medicated just to appease the teachers and sadly the parents to get these kids to calm down. I for one would never accept a diagnoses of add or adhd until every possiblity is explored...a complete physicial....including hearing, eye exam and complete blood work up. Has he been checked for dyslexia??? color blindness????

And YES teachers do black list students..if a parent complains or disagrees with a teacher that child will suffer. If a student has been marked as a problem child that stigma will follow him right through. Please don't give up on this boy...he is very young. Please exhaust all resources befor you decide to accept the diagnose of adhd. There is alot of help out there for learning oportunites you just have to look....Please check online for help if the schools are not willing to help. Good luck with everything.

04-08-2008, 09:35 PM	#1
memphismomma BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: california Posts: 525	I need some advice Ok so this Will be my first post that is Remotly personal so i want to post here instead of the open forum so here it goes PLEASE no negative comments (deep breath) My oldest son Cody is failing Kindegarden and when i say failing im mean eveything BUT socail skills and this for some reason is minamal at best i dont get it altou Cody can be rambucious he is caring and seeks friends he seems to lack the self cofidence to be a leader with his peers and puppy dog follows kids and this seems to make hime left out alot. Academically he is a complete Mess he cant sit still while learning and gets frustrated Quickly so we went to the doctors who said he may have adhd we filled out the questionaires and got the lowest dose meds we could. Things got a lil better but then he flatlined again and it seemed to worsen his self esteem so the doctor and i agreed to take him off back at sqaure one !! heres what weve done so far we work with him everynight roatating what we do each night to completely go over what he should know at this point in Kindergarden .... every night we have a blowout crying child with such low self esteem i end up crying its a total mess i dont know where he gets this we praise him all the time heres what the school had done NOTHING we have fought and fought with them and the best they've done is some counseling he has gone 5 times over this las year and they where all in the begging of the year... I have sense pulled him from this and a reading recovery program which is a half hour 3 times a week they basically just go over ABCs and sight words they have told us 1 we dont qualify (finicailly) for help like tutoring and 2 if they test him for special needs and he doesnt qualify he wont be able to get tested for 2 more yrs OK so heres my questions should i try another med for adhd ( i just hate to think im comotosing him) does anyone have a child with adhd that doesnt have typical syndromes has anyone gone tru this what do i do about his school , they seem to fight me every which way am i failing him ? i need help and i just dont know where to turn

04-08-2008, 10:04 PM	#4
LittleMansMomma Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Greenfield, TN Posts: 743	I'm sorry your having to go through this. I don't have any children myself, but I do have nieces and nephews that have adhd. It's a hard and long road of what ifs. Bless your heart! No, your not failing him. Sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I will definitely keep you and your son in my prayers. __________________ Larissa mommy to Little Man Tawny Odie Proud Member of: SRC LGC

04-08-2008, 10:28 PM	#9
KitKat Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: CA Posts: 136	It seems more and more children are getting ADHD. I wonder what is causing all these kids to get it. Maybe you should look up more natural ways to treat it such as organic foods, organic meat-just a total change of diet. Maybe try to find a message board which supports mothers of children with ADHD because I am sure they would have some great advice! Good luck! __________________ Go to these sites each day to donate your free click to help animals in need: TheAnimalRescueSite.com and Pets.Care2.com IT'S FREE! Last edited by KitKat; 04-08-2008 at 10:31 PM.

04-08-2008, 10:37 PM	#10
missj2007 YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Florida Posts: 698 Blog Entries: 11	My brother has ADHD, and he failed the first grade. We were just studying children with learning disabilities in my college class and the thing I find that helps is when a teacher does NOT single the child out and should think about changing their lesson plan around to teach their diverse class room. His teacher sounds like my brother teacher. It was like everyday he found something to say about my brother and kept complaining about him until the school told my mom to get him check out for ADHD . He received the meds and started doing better in school but soon my mother stopped them and he is back at it again. The teacher has to be willing to work with the student and parent if not, things will not improve. It makes me so upset when I hear this especially when a parent is trying but the teacher feels as if they have to single the child out which is a big NO NO. HUGS to you for being a great mom! __________________ I have lost my bestfriend, Poppy my angel,my protector March 29,2008-June 14,2009.

04-08-2008, 09:50 PM	#2
Proud Mommy The Fabulous 4 Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: ca Posts: 1,321	you know I love you Julie... I can give some insight into why he exhibits those behaviors but you have to be ready to hear it

04-08-2008, 09:56 PM	#3
memphismomma BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: california Posts: 525	at this point ive beat my self up for just about everything possible so nothing you could say will shock or upset me so pm

04-08-2008, 10:15 PM	#5
odies_mama YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Milton, Florida Posts: 291 Blog Entries: 1	i think my nephew who is in kindergarten too, may be add. hes really smart one minute but then the next he's like a completely different kid. always getting in trouble in school, and coming home with bad reports. i cant do much since he's not my son, but me and his teacher DO NOT get along! i basically told her she was a stupid B**** and that she wasnt working with my nephew enough but rather just punishing him! she didnt like that too much, but things did seem to get a little better. im not by any means telling u to get in ur sons teachers face like i did, but she had it coming. she went to school with my sister and bro-in-law and i think she has resentment towards them for some reason and she is taking it out on my nephew, but i put her in her place! =] i'll keep yall in my prayers. and please keep us updated!

04-09-2008, 04:20 AM	#15
lilfoot YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: wisconsin Posts: 769	I for one really hate it that anytime that a child acts out immediately they say it is add or adhd and right away it is onto medication. As a teachers aid for the past 5 years I cannot tell you how often these enegetic kids are medicated just to appease the teachers and sadly the parents to get these kids to calm down. I for one would never accept a diagnoses of add or adhd until every possiblity is explored...a complete physicial....including hearing, eye exam and complete blood work up. Has he been checked for dyslexia??? color blindness???? And YES teachers do black list students..if a parent complains or disagrees with a teacher that child will suffer. If a student has been marked as a problem child that stigma will follow him right through. Please don't give up on this boy...he is very young. Please exhaust all resources befor you decide to accept the diagnose of adhd. There is alot of help out there for learning oportunites you just have to look....Please check online for help if the schools are not willing to help. Good luck with everything.