I am so upset....crushed

[mypreciouspups]

Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures

Yes I know....men are visual and so different then women.
But no....he needs those pics big time.
Hes looked at 100's
And sometimes it still dont work.!!!!!!!!!!!
He doesnt like my body type it seems.
And thats ok....but why marry me this way if thats not what he prefers.
Oh...he may want me on his arm
But he dont want me in the bed

I am so sorry you are going through this.. this post breaks my heart as a woman... I do not kno what to say to you that would help you at this time..anne
big hug to your girl..

[YorkieAZ]

Wow! Debbi I'm just now reading this, hun if there is anything I can do for you, I'm here. I am praying you find the help you need. Not a good time for him to start this crap with Allie due.
I feel so bad for you. Hopefully Katelin can help you. Again, I'm here if you need to vent. Don't be embarrased either, we all need the help of our friends sometimes.

[a2luckygirl]

Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures

Hugs are always good....prayers are even better
Pray that somehow I can get out of this mess

I am praying for you!!
Been here, done that - what u r going through-it is a bad time in one's like!!

a lot of times, they try and make you feel like everything is your fault-It's not! It is their sick way of trying to cope!

Life will be good again- down the road, Hun, there is the is PEACE- its just dwon the road- and sometimes the trip is on a bumpy road!!
I feel so bad for you- I remember so well how bad it is!!

[Susan123]

Oh Debbi, I'm just so sorry that you've had to endure so much. Please, do not be embarrassed. Probably more men than not have subjected themselves and their family to porn. I just want you to know that I'm earnestly praying for you, that the Lord will make a way for you to keep what is yours and to get him out of your life. Again, I'm sorry your having to go through this.

[YorkichonBella]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I know what divorce is like. Do not be intimidated by him or his threats. Seek an attorney and do not put this off. Take care of yourself first. Also, do not let him know what you are doing.

[MindieRose]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I really really wish that pornography was illegal. Not that it would STOP it, but it is all wrong, in all situations, and should be outlawed. I hope you hubby gets some help and actually recognizes that this is a problem, and changes it.
If you go to church, they are often times very willing to help men overcome such addictions.

Big hugs to you. I know it must be incredibly hurtful, and I would be hurting too.

[NanaDtreasures]

I wanted to post to you all..
I am just overwhelmed with the support here.
I have so many posts to respond to and PM that I cant read just yet.
I know that someway there has to be something I can do.
I am writing this on WordPad and copying and pasting it to the post so he dont catch me . He is still home and I cant afford another smashed computer
Usually he leaves a lot in the evenings when his friends or family come home to visit .. will read pms..and post more then,
((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
I cant thank you all enough for the prayers and support

[YorkieAZ]

Take care of yourself Debbi, still praying for you to find the strength you need for what may lay ahead.
That dude better not get violent

[cariblonde]

OMG! I just read your post and trust me I know how heartbroken you are, Porn ruined my 10 year marriage to my high school sweetheart it completely took over him.. Like a plague or disease until he had to start making his own porn Trust me dont stand by and take this IT WILL LIKELY GET WORSE Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk or you can even call me I will pm you my number if you like just let me know.. I am so sorry for what you are going through but remember your not alone we are all here for you I dont know what I would have done without my YT friends... please stay strong

[cariblonde]

I am going to research family law in Ohio for you as soon as I can get home( I sneak on YT at work) I want to give you accurate info

[red98vett]

Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures

I wanted to post to you all..
I am just overwhelmed with the support here.
I have so many posts to respond to and PM that I cant read just yet.
I know that someway there has to be something I can do.
I am writing this on WordPad and copying and pasting it to the post so he dont catch me . He is still home and I cant afford another smashed computer
Usually he leaves a lot in the evenings when his friends or family come home to visit .. will read pms..and post more then,
((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
I cant thank you all enough for the prayers and support

I'm sorry for you - women don't deserve half the stuff men put us through BUT ....you're talking about smashed computers and 'other things' he's put you thru - it sounds like porn is the least of your problems - I really think you need to get out while you still can. This shattered your trust but it sounds like other things are going on that may be worse and I'd hate to see someone stay in a marriage that isn't going anywhere......

Porn that often is an addiction - chances are - he's also cheating/hookers etc - but I'm more concerned about the 'other things' you talked about. I don't know what they are but it doesn't sound good. Do you think he loves you ? IF HE DOES HE'll get help - but as I said - Looking at alot of porn is a form of addiction...he may not be able to stop.

Good luck - it sucks you've only been married 4 years - but it sounds like you deserve alot better.

[cariblonde]

I just went through and read the entire post, I thought you were only dealing with porn, which is enough believe me, but if you are being abused get out now, go to your mothers and get a restaraing order this man sounds like a total jackass, having a restraining order will help you tremendously in court you shouldnt have to give him anything! I dont have lexis Nexis here at work b/c we are a real estate firm but I can go over to the University and look at if you need me too, I was reading some of the statutes for Ohio and it seems to me like you can waive the one year separation if you are dealing with adultery or abuse, I need to look more closely though before i can give you any real advice but get a good attorney Even if the retainer is 7000.00 or more think of all the $$ you would save in the long run by not having pay any spousal support, we are all worried about you please keep us updated

[red98vett]

Originally Posted by cariblonde

I just went through and read the entire post, I thought you were only dealing with porn, which is enough believe me, but if you are being abused get out now, go to your mothers and get a restaraing order this man sounds like a total jackass, having a restraining order will help you tremendously in court you shouldnt have to give him anything! I dont have lexis Nexis here at work b/c we are a real estate firm but I can go over to the University and look at if you need me too, I was reading some of the statutes for Ohio and it seems to me like you can waive the one year separation if you are dealing with adultery or abuse, I need to look more closely though before i can give you any real advice but get a good attorney Even if the retainer is 7000.00 or more think of all the $$ you would save in the long run by not having pay any spousal support, we are all worried about you please keep us updated

hey there ...I didn't know you just went thru a bad time - I'm sorry....It sounds like you could be a huge help to her and at times like this - women need to stick together and help each other.

hugs to you both

[Patti]

Praying for you and please stay safe. Go to family, friends anywhere safe. I know it must be hard to leave with the babies but hopefully you have family that are understanding.

[NanaDtreasures]

Originally Posted by yorkiesmiles

When you confront him about his computer use & let him know your filing me for divorce that's when you need to have a tape recorder hidden. Or get one of those nanny cams hidden in something and get him not only in audio, but also video.

I used to think I wanted to be married, but after getting burned almost a yr ago, and also seeing what happened to a man I dumped a number of years ago and how he jumped from wanting to marry me & then marry to someone else 3 weeks later that he new for 3 days - it has just turned my heart off any man - and I'm too young to feel that way - but stories like yours scare me & I think there can't possibly be a man out there worth giving my sanity up for.

I cant even begin to answer everyone.
BUT I wanted to write you.
There are good men out there.
I was married to one for 22 years.
A wonderful father to our 3 kids,who treated me with respect always
We are still good friends. He turned 40 and went thru a midlife crisis.
Sad but it does happen
But there are good men (((hugs)))