I CANT get over my mothers death!!! HELP!

[momof4CA]

Originally Posted by joy and bella

i dont know what that group is??

as far as talking to someone, i did. i have trouble opening up to people, and i also tend to keep things like this bottled up. i want to ignore it bc thinking of it hurts so badly! my therapist lives in fort lauderdale, where my mom used to live, and i currently live 4 hours away. i am moving home in mid decemeber so i will be able to start seeing her again soon. i was supposed to go on medication, but my boyfriend at the time (now ex) made me feel so uncomfortable that i stopped taking it. maybe its time to go back on it. i wish there was guidlines on how to get over this type of thing, it is so incredibly hard!

I think you should call the therapist that you have seen before. She might be able able to talk with you over the phone. Until you are able to return home.

Never let anyone talk you out of medication, if you need it. The other person is not inside your head and seeing things from your point of view. I think medication is a personal choice, between you and your therapist. If you are unsure of doing medication, you could always do a trial period... for 6 months.

[sassyfire1956]

Sound like I did, when my MOm pased! You lost your best friend-one you had all your life-since dayone!its's hard! In time you will begin to feel better- and it does take time!try and be thanklful that you two were so close. I often wonder about people who stray from family,have no connection,or a big fight, then something happens to one of them. How could they stand it!You were close-cherish that! It is hard-you are just normal!I feel for you!

[Buddy-licious]

I know you feel that you are the only one that has ever gone through this because I remember feeling the EXACT same way you do!!!!!! My dad passed away and I COULD NOT recover from the heartache!!!! I cried uncontrollably everyday!!! I tried everything....diet, excercise, went to a therapist, talk to my preacher, talk to friends, read books, etc... Finally after 5 months of DEEP depression I went for professional help!! My OB doctor immediately saw how depressed I was and he gave me a medication for depression. Wthin weeks I was back to my normal self. I only stayed on the medication for about 3 to 4 months but it really helped me!!! Sure I was still sad at times but at least I felt like I could go on with my life. Now with no medicaton, I still really miss my Dad but I have moved on and only cling to the fond memories of him. I pray that you will be able to do the same!!! Your mom would never want you to be this sad. I cannot tell you what to do.....I can only tell you what helped me. (medication is not for everyone but it was the right thing for me) I will be praying for you!!!

[scrappysmom]

I also know how you are feeling my parents where my best friends,my mom passed 5 years ago it was hard we knew she was gonna pass she had been ill for 3 years it was hard but it does take time ,my father passed 3 years ago that was really hard to get over it happened without notice he was in a car accident the hospital did a cat scan and said he was fine so he came to my house so i could take care of him he passed at my house 12 hours after the car accident in my bedroom on my bed he had a slow bleed on his brain he went in my room to lay down and never woke up . i blamed my self for a long time wondering what if but the doctor told me that no matter what i would have done he would still have passed.he was fine all day just a little sore but that was all that was wrong with him .

[bdbmamaw]

What I missed most and still do since my mom passed were the daily phone calls. It's been almost 3 yrs and I still cry sometimes, but I laugh a lot more. Another thing that bothered me A LOT was I didn't dream about her until just recently. I dreamed she came back for 24 hrs and I spent all that time just hugging on her and kissing her sweet face.

Sometimes when I'm sad at night, I pray to Jesus that he will let me feel mom's presence. And then I can actually feel her arms around me and I fall asleep so peacefully.

You know, life is like a ship. You can see it till it moves out of site over the horizon. It's really not gone. You just can't see it anymore. And though you had to say goodbye, all her relatives, friends and Jesus are saying " Here she comes" as that ship comes over the horizon on the other shore. She's still there, just waiting on you. But, as she lived her life, you need to live your life in a way that will make her proud, because she's watching over you. You needed her when she was here, and there are others who need you. Dedicate the rest of your life in memory of all she taught you. And know that the grieving is for a season. Joy WILL come in the morning.

[txshopper73]

I'm so sorry about all of this. I am extremely close to my mother, as well. She is my best friend and I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through.

Contact your church or affiliate. I'm sure there are help groups out there to get you through this very difficult time.

Anger is part of the healing process but don't keep it bottled up inside. Maybe your family physician can prescribe something to help you. No one should be made to feel bad about taking medication...so good riddance to the boyfriend.

Hang in there and know that even if you don't have someone to talk to, you can always turn to your YT family.

[tjdmom]

I lost my mom 24 years ago and I still miss her and wonder what my life would've been like if she never had cancer. Then last year we lost my baby sister to it as well. I have to say that with time it does get easier. It always still hurts though. Especially when I see others enjoying what I imagine I would have if my mom were here and especially when they take it for granted. I think that the advice about therapy is good advice. I was in counselling years ago after we lost her and I think it did help although my brother disagrees so I guess it depends on the individual. I wish I could give you wonderful advice and it would make things all better but unfortunalty there is no rosy way to look at this. Although, I think my faith in God is a comfort and honestly has done more for me than counselling. After I lost mom, though, I was only 18 and I was pretty mad at him for a long time and I think that's ok. I imagine he understands that anger too. And sometimes I think that no matter how painful it was to lose her, I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's, even that person out at work who still has her mom and she's always been there to help her thru everything and she doesn't appreciate it half as much as she should. I would talk about it and if you're the type, I would start a journal. Oh, and I would recommend reading about it as well. One of the books I liked was "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom. I have to honestly say, that sometimes especially when things are really tough like when we were losing my sister, I could feel my mom's presence and I hope that you are able to feel that as well and I hope it will bring you some comfort. Theresa

[saphire]

Oh sweetie, I know how you feel, I lost my Mom when I was 36 and my Dad when I was 40. She had been ill for many years and Dad passed suddenly from a heart attack. I am now 51 and I still miss them all the time,( I was an only child) but the pain is not there anymore. I grieved for a long time, but it DOES get better. One of my worst experiences was seing Mothers Day cards at the newsagent soon after her death. I sobbed there in the store.
Now whenever I think of them I smile, the pain does ease and the memories become happy. Give yourself time, grieve at your own pace, don't let anyone tell you to get over it. You will, but when your heart is ready.
Sending you lots of hugs.

[chloeTG]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss...you really should talk to a professional that will be able to help you sort through your anger and your hurt. I can't imagine loosing someone so precious. I'm sorry and know that we at YT are here for you if you need to talk. God bless! T

[lily]

It takes time, so hangin there and make your mom proud of you . She is always there with you! In you heart! I lost my dad in 1998 and still yet I think about him and well cry! Don't let anyone try make you move on! Everyone moves on at their own pace! Lily

[Connie]

I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time and I can say I truly know how you feel. Everything in your post I can relate to. My Mom died almost 9 months ago and I still cry every day...feel at such loose ends...like a lost soul...like I exist and nothing else. I still call her phone number by mistake. I used to do that when she was alive too...and Mom would answer. Now I get that, "The number you have dialed is no longer a working number." My sister and I were talking the other day and we wonder if we'll ever feel joy in our lives again. It is so hard to lose a precious Mom. My heart ached for you when your Mom died and it does now. No matter where we go, or what we do, there will be reminders of our Moms. I hope some day soon, the heartache will ease up for you and all of us who have lost our Moms. It is just so hard.

I think that a bereavement group and possibly antidepressants can help you through. It is hard talking to people who haven't experienced a loss, but in a group, everyone would understand your sadness.

Sending big hugs to you and I'll be thinking of you and praying.

[Shadow]

You are such a great lady Connie and I feel blessed to have you as my friend.

Originally Posted by Connie

I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time and I can say I truly know how you feel. Everything in your post I can relate to. My Mom died almost 9 months ago and I still cry every day...feel at such loose ends...like a lost soul...like I exist and nothing else. I still call her phone number by mistake. I used to do that when she was alive too...and Mom would answer. Now I get that, "The number you have dialed is no longer a working number." My sister and I were talking the other day and we wonder if we'll ever feel joy in our lives again. It is so hard to lose a precious Mom. My heart ached for you when your Mom died and it does now. No matter where we go, or what we do, there will be reminders of our Moms. I hope some day soon, the heartache will ease up for you and all of us who have lost our Moms. It is just so hard.

I think that a bereavement group and possibly antidepressants can help you through. It is hard talking to people who haven't experienced a loss, but in a group, everyone would understand your sadness.

Sending big hugs to you and I'll be thinking of you and praying.

[Monday]

I am so sorry for your loss.
Moms are really special ... they never leave our hearts though ...
it takes time to deal with the reality and to heal .. (and it seems like forever)...
I still say "oh wait until Mom hears this," ...
and I wish there were "Heaven On Line" so we could still communicate. I miss her wisdom ... she was a woman ahead of her time and a woman to be admired.

I really have little advice on how to get "over" this, time will help you you get through it, it is so sad to hear you are suffering like this though.

Try the meds, I used them after my husband passed on at such a young age, when you have a trauma like this, those pills help. Not a 'forever' medication though. I took them for a few years. I am off them now and can face the world.

Bless your heart! Your mom would be proud of you.

And for Connie, I echo Shadow's words ....

[grayxie]

Originally Posted by joy and bella

i dont know what that group is??

A bereavement group is where others who have experienced a loss in their family/friends go to talk, get counseling, lean on each other to help them through it. Usually hospitals, community centers, and churches offer them.

[lidarose]

Originally Posted by grayxie

A bereavement group is where others who have experienced a loss in their family/friends go to talk, get counseling, lean on each other to help them through it. Usually hospitals, community centers, and churches offer them.

Maybe we could start a 'grief group' here on YT. People are always experiencing loss of one kind or another and we trust each other here. I don't always trust strangers with my emotions, I'm not always comfortable discussing painful things with just anyone.