I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time and I can say I truly know how you feel. Everything in your post I can relate to. My Mom died almost 9 months ago and I still cry every day...feel at such loose ends...like a lost soul...like I exist and nothing else. I still call her phone number by mistake. I used to do that when she was alive too...and Mom would answer. Now I get that, "The number you have dialed is no longer a working number." My sister and I were talking the other day and we wonder if we'll ever feel joy in our lives again. It is so hard to lose a precious Mom. My heart ached for you when your Mom died and it does now. No matter where we go, or what we do, there will be reminders of our Moms. I hope some day soon, the heartache will ease up for you and all of us who have lost our Moms. It is just so hard.
I think that a bereavement group and possibly antidepressants can help you through. It is hard talking to people who haven't experienced a loss, but in a group, everyone would understand your sadness.
Sending big hugs to you and I'll be thinking of you and praying. |