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Old 09-17-2006, 07:55 PM   #1
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Cry 10 weeks ago tonight was my last night with Dexter........

I am not able to sleep much on Sunday nights, knowing it was my last night with Dexter. Ten weeks ago he had been sick on the weekend but we had NO idea that on Monday we would have to decide to put him to sleep.


Ten weeks ago he came to my side of the bed (as he always did) to get helped up to sleep with us. This was at about 130 am - he slept with us a while then jumped down (I always somehow felt it when he would jump down). I would give anything if he could sleep with me again. Yes, my h is in our bed too but it feels so empty (Tye sleeps with Blake).

I miss him so much - I know he is better off and he knows how much we love him but I want him back. I know that sounds childish or whatever and I know he won't be back with me here in this world but I miss him so !!

I know you are all people that understand - that is why I write this here. I am sure others would think I have totally lost it but I don't care I miss my baby terribly !!
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Old 09-17-2006, 08:14 PM   #2
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I totally understand. It takes a long time to get over them. You miss them everywhere. You miss them getting under your feet and into mischief.

May God give you the strenght you need to get through this.
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Old 09-17-2006, 09:09 PM   #3
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Thanks JeanneK - I used to sometimes get aggrevated that he would follow me EVERWHERE but what I wouldn't give for that now.

Thanks again,
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Old 09-18-2006, 03:20 AM   #4
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That is so sad..I know how you feel...

Dexter and Sammi are probably playing together at Rainbow Bridge...Talking (Yipping) about how wonderful there lives were while they were here with us...

XoXoXo
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Old 09-18-2006, 05:17 AM   #5
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My heart goes out to you Angie, I wish I had some words that could make all your pain go away. I just sit here in tears with you and Fran both, cause I know how you both feel. I know it's just not fair that we all have to go through this. I hope one day we will all understand, when the day comes that we all reunite with are beloved babies! Please know I'm here for you if you need to talk.
Hugs to you
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Old 09-18-2006, 08:10 AM   #6
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Fran & Missy, thank you so much for your support.

I know both of you have lost beloved babies too and that you know exactly what I am going through.

I am sure Dexter, Sammi & Kloey are running, playing and having such a good time together. I know Dexter now has clear eyes, no pain and is feeling the best ever - I hate to be selfish by wanting him back. I just miss him so. Sunday's and Monday's are hard for me. I know in time I will still miss him but the pain won't be so great. I just pray he knows how much I love him and always will !!

Thanks again for your support - it means alot to me to have people (other than my husband) understand.

My parents dog (they had her for 14 years) had to be put to sleep 2 weeks after Dexter -- I knew when I found out that day he was going to Rainbow Bridge that he was paving the way for Honey. He was and always will be a wonderful gentleman !! So ladies don't worry about your female furbabies, Dexter and other gentlemen are there to take care of them !!
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Old 09-18-2006, 08:42 AM   #7
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Angie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a puppy when he was only 7 months old. He was a s**tzu. He had an amazing personality and the greatest love for life and everyone in it. He made friends with everyone that he met. My husband and I were on vacation out of the country and he passed suddenly while my parents were home with him and my children. Since then we have gotten louie,(yorkie) but I still miss maxx so much. No matter how they go it is a great loss. I will keep you in my prayers. We are so blessed to have these little ones with us no matter how long they are here. They give such great love and compassion. I know that they love us greatly and they know that they are loved. It will take some time for the pain to lessen but he will always be in your heart. Take care.

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Old 09-18-2006, 12:01 PM   #8
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I dont know if this helps you in anyway or if your a beleiver but... Sometimes talking with an animal communicator helps. They can contact those who have passed over. I wasnt a beleiver until I heard it with my own ears. I have seen two different ones and both of them told me the same exact thing that no one else would of known. I had lost my girl very tragicly and suddenly and I told both these women nothing and they were able to tell me what had happened even to the point of how we found her. My Gaylynn had passed on Feb 25th she had an unknown tumor that had burst killing her instantly and caused her to bleed out. The first one I saw she came out to my house days after this had happened and she told me what my other dogs saw and felt at the time this happened. One of my dogs told her that I had favored Gaylynn because she was so special and had special needs (emotionally she was a BYB rescue) but it was ok Nikki understood that she had special needs. I NEVER told anyone this not even my fiance that she was favored, I felt guilty for feeling this way about her and favoring her. I didnt even tell this woman she was a rescue. She told me alot of things that my dogs had felt that no one would of known. She was unable to reach my Gaylynn at the time because it was so sudden and to soon.
The second one I had spoken to (no reason for seeing different ones, the one was a guest speaker at one of my yorkie club meetings and I had a session with her just because she was there). She reached my Gaylynn and told me the same thing the other one had said. She said my Gaylynn was waiting for me to contact her and she told me things about our relationship that no one would of known. She wanted to tell me it wasnt my fault I wasnt there and it was just her time, there was nothing I could do to save her even if I had known. From the outside she looked totally healthy even to the vet she looked healthy.
If you want their info PM me and I will give it to you, if you would like to speak with one to help. Its really helped me in so many ways

Every friday night I think to myself if I would of know that was going to be my last night with her what would i of done differently. If I would of only known I would of never left her side that day. I cant get the image of my dead dog out of my head. She was fine that day I left my house, she was her same happy self she even ate her morning cookie. I try and comfort myself in knowing that I loved her so much and gave her a life from that awful place she came from.
The animal communicator said she told her I gave her a life, I showed her what it was like to be loved and she thanked me for saving her. I never told her she was a rescue.
Ok need to stop now Im complelty in tears again. It does get easier as time passes I promise
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Old 09-18-2006, 12:19 PM   #9
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WOW Chrissy !! That is awesome, I will pm you to get more info.

Dexter was fine, had visited the vet regularly, etc. When he got sick throwing up that weekend we figured he ate something he shouldn't have or just had a virus. He got better Sunday and then Sunday night came to get in the bed with us. Early into Monday morning he started throwing up again. It was very early but we knew the vet would open before long so we waited and I called the vet. My h took him because I had a doctor appointment that a.m. too. I took our son with me and my h took Dex to the vet.

I am checking out of the doctor and h calls me - he is crying and says the vet thinks Dexter has cancer. Of course I break down but then compose myself and tell our son and explain that Dexter has lived a long life and we made his last years wonderful (he was a rescue). I also say you know this may be God's way of preparing a way for Honey (my parent's dog that we gave them as a puppy 14 years ago). They were as attached to her as we were Dexter. I used to say they love their dogs more than us kids (just kidding) but they were dog crazy. After I got Dexter I understood and was just as crazy or crazier LOL.

Get home and h was there - he had left Dexter at the vet to do tests they needed to do. It was FOREVER before we finally got the call that after seeing the sonogram, he had a mass in his abdomen that had ruptured and he was VERY sick. His white blood count was 100,000's above what it should be and they were all immature cells. I asked the vet what she would do (God love her, she is awesome) she said she couldn't say but that he was VERY VERY sick. So we knew what we had to do.

We went and spent about 30 minutes with him, took pictures, told him we loved him, hugged him, etc all the time he was wonderful. Kissing me and wanting to lay in my arms. I held him as she gave him the final shot. It broke my heart and still does. We loved him enough though to make that decision and as bad as it hurt me, I held him because I love him so.

Needless to say (I am repeating myself) my parents Honey (poodle) had to be rushed to the emergency vet 2 weeks later. I was at work so our son was there with them. They had to make the decision that night, so Dexter was there waiting for Honey. They had believed she may have a brain tumor and were willing to do surgery but the vet had said wait as it may not be worth doing.

I know that our work and Dexter's in paving the way for my parents and Honey was part of God's plan. I just had NO idea it would hurt so much.

We have Tye who will be 4 in December, he hangs with us all but sleeps with Blake. He too was a rescue. Dexter was a bigger yorkie, Tye only weighs 2-3 lbs depending on how thick his hair is.

I am thinking of getting another some day - just right now I miss Dexter too much and with everything else think we should wait.

Thanks for all the support -- and if you read this far - hope you enjoyed my book LOL
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Old 09-18-2006, 12:37 PM   #10
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Back in September of last year, my 16 yr old yorkie Sunshine got sick. The first night she didnt eat her dinner, no big deal she tends to do that sometimes she ate her treats that day and was drinking normally. Later that night I boiled some chicken for her which I did when she didnt feel like eating her dinner, she got bored quickly. She ate it with no problem. That was thursday night, Friday morning I let all the girls outside and Sunshine vomited up the chicken just as if she just ate it, not digested at all. I called the vet got her in and they ran some bloodwork (I kinda suspected her kidneys she was 16 years old). They gave her some fluids and some meds and would call me the next day with the results. She slept all friday night just fine. Saturday morning (October 1st) my Fiance put her up on the bed with me when he left for work. I woke up that day and she was laying next to me shaking and was in a daze. At that moment I felt it, it was time, shes not going to pull through this. I called the vet and rushed her in. When we got there I was taken into the room and gotten the news shes in kidney failure and her levels were off the charts. I held her and knew that she was suffering. And they told me my options of taking her to university of penn and starting fluid treatments but its probably not going to be sucessful. She was 16 years old and hated to be away from home, I wasnt doing that to her. We had to put her to sleep, my fiance was at work and no one would come in for him so he could come home and say goodbye. I spoke to the vet and asked is she going to make it till tonight so Mike could say goodbye, he didnt think she was going to, I didnt either. I sat in that room with her for an hour talking to her and telling her how much Im going to miss her. I was 12 or 13 when I got her. So that Saturday morning I lost my Sunshine. It happened so quickly, she didnt look or even act 16, the day she got sick she was running around the yard barking at the neighbors dog. I miss her so much but accepted alot better then when I lost Gaylynn. I knew it was my Sunshine's time. Im still a wreck over it but I dont have all those what if questions in my head like I do with Gaylynn. I have all my babies privately creamated and I have them on a shelf with thier pictures. I still wake up some mornings looking for my Sunshine, shes always been there. It comforts me greatly knowing what a great life she had that I gave her. We have been through everything together, shes always been there.
It kills Mike that he couldnt be there but I had to do what was best for her at that time. Mike was so upset, about a week later on his day off one of the guys from his work called him to come in because the guy had to go home his dog was sick. Mike asked him where were you at when he needed help. That person didnt even think twice about helping him.
I can still smell my Sunshine sometimes, I swore a few times I heard her in the middle of the night.
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Old 09-18-2006, 12:53 PM   #11
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Wow, such similarities in our stories - Dexter is cremated and on a shelf with his picture and collar in our room - on my side of the bed.

There have been MANY times I hear his collar rattle or feel his paws on the side of the bed wanting me to pick him up.

The strangest thing is after he died - my mom asked if we cut any of his hair to put in a clear Christmas ball. We had not. I searched this house high and low and couldn't find any hair. Well, about 6-7 weeks later I got up in the morning when h left for work - locked the door, went to bathroom and when I returned I saw something near my h's pillow. I turned on the light and it was hair from Dexter. Now my linens have been washed MANY times during that time frame. Dexter used to lay at my knees and when my h would get up to shower he would move to my h's pillow. So I have to guess some how Dexter put that hair there at that time. Nothing else to explain it.

I know that Dexter is with good company in Heaven....running, playing, and enjoying life waiting for us to be together again,
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