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Old 07-29-2012, 08:01 AM   #1
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Unlove Still having a rough time

Two weeks ago today I woke up to my little Ace being sick but stable. We thought it was just a little bout of nasueau which he sometimes got. I wish I could go back and immedeilty take him to the ER vet, to get operated on for the obstruction he had. I keep thinking if only sooner had he been operated on would he have survived? Maybe his body would have been healthier and he wouldn't have developed sepsis and later fluid in his lungs. My husband says I need to stop beating myself up over this, but how when I was responsible for him? He looked to me to take care of him and in return he took care of me. I will forever feel like I failed Ace and always think to myself, had I acted sooner maybe he'd still be here.
Every morning I wake up and feel so empty and sad. Yes, I continue with my daily routine as best as I can, but it's so sad. I lost the most innocent, best thing in my life. I miss you baby Ace, and I love you forever!
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:39 AM   #2
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Default So Sorry for your loss of Ace!

I am so sorry for your loss. I am also grieving horribly after suddenly losing my Peanut. We can not blame ourselves as I know that we both did everything in our power to help our little guys. Peanut died one week ago this evening and I have been living with the grief each and every day like a roller coaster. Could I somehow have prevented his sudden attack and death, could I have stayed at work longer and perhaps he would still be with me today? My only solice is looking back at the 4 wonderful years he did have as my buddy and I know that I did give him a life of love that some pups will never have. Take care and if you need anyone to talk to please shoot me a message. Perhaps we can help each other get through this aweful time.
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Old 07-30-2012, 07:15 AM   #3
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I'm so very sorry... God is the only One who decides if they stay or if they go... we all do the best we can while they are here with us. God puts them in our care, then when it's their time, He takes them back.

This explanation may seem simple, but it is the only way I have found to handle the pain of a loss. As great as your love for him is, your pain will be just as immense, or greater. I think sometimes He takes them back because He Knows there is another here on Earth who needs our love more, now that He is taking care of the ones who have gome Home.

I understand your emotional battle and the intense pain and emptiness in your heart. My heart is breaking for you and I am crying and praying for you... Your little Ace will always be with you in your heart. He is now your Angel, and he is with God at Rainbow Bridge waiting for you, where you will see him again. Bless you for loving him, and being there for him to love in return. I pray you can find Peace.
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Old 07-30-2012, 07:21 AM   #4
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please dont beat yourself up. easier sad then done but you cannot start to heal while still blaming yourself. you did everything you could. i hope time helps to ease your pain a bit it is not easy but try to remember the good times and all the love you shared.
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:30 PM   #5
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I am so sorry. I know it's hard on you. RIP Ace. Keeping you in my prayers through this difficult time.
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:43 PM   #6
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Your post breaks my heart. Please listen to your husband. You did the best you possibly could for Ace. *hugs* to you.
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Old 07-30-2012, 08:09 PM   #7
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Everyone who has lost a dog through illness feels pretty much as you feel and when vets are less than perfect when treating them or make frank mistakes in treatment, it just adds to the pain of the loss and second guessing, constant guilty feelings and the sense we failed them. All those feelings can be completely normal and even expected. Go ahead and process your pain in your way, at your rate. Grieve and doubt yourself and the veterinary process. It is part of what humans deal with and must often work through when a beloved family member is tragically gone. In time your healing will come, intense grief end, doubt and guilt subside into sweet memories and smiles as thoughts of Ace stop being so raw and become golden, dear. Until that time, if your pain is severe or obsessive or your life far too grim, some grief counseling will see you through the worst times and help. There are many petloss support groups around and other, understanding people there to talk it out with on your toughest days and nights. Writing a poem to Ace, finding and planting a Memorial Tree and helping out at your local shelter can help also. Keeping busy is key so that you don't fall into depression as you wait to heal. I pray you find some relief soon as intense grieving and stress can be so harmful to your health.
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Old 07-31-2012, 05:14 AM   #8
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I am so sorry for your loss and having a tough time. You can not blame yourself or have too many 'What ifs' I did the same thing when we lost our dear Keally that I did not sleep anymore. I would go to my vet and cry and ask what if we did this? Please don't beat yourself up like I did. Little Ace is probably running with my Keally waiting til the day we meet again.I also found a wonderful breeder and did go on and got another little angel.Hugs to you and from my little angel Kinder too. Susan
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Old 07-31-2012, 06:54 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly View Post
Everyone who has lost a dog through illness feels pretty much as you feel and when vets are less than perfect when treating them or make frank mistakes in treatment, it just adds to the pain of the loss and second guessing, constant guilty feelings and the sense we failed them. All those feelings can be completely normal and even expected. Go ahead and process your pain in your way, at your rate. Grieve and doubt yourself and the veterinary process. It is part of what humans deal with and must often work through when a beloved family member is tragically gone. In time your healing will come, intense grief end, doubt and guilt subside into sweet memories and smiles as thoughts of Ace stop being so raw and become golden, dear. Until that time, if your pain is severe or obsessive or your life far too grim, some grief counseling will see you through the worst times and help. There are many petloss support groups around and other, understanding people there to talk it out with on your toughest days and nights. Writing a poem to Ace, finding and planting a Memorial Tree and helping out at your local shelter can help also. Keeping busy is key so that you don't fall into depression as you wait to heal. I pray you find some relief soon as intense grieving and stress can be so harmful to your health.
Yes, you're right about finding things to do. I am looking into pet loss support groups. Husband and I are going on 8/9 to a candlelight memorial that is held at animal friends, which celebrates our pets life. It's not a memorial service but instead a celebration. We have to write about our baby and what did he bring to your life, what about him makes you smile...We also bring pictures of Ace. I just want everyone to know about him and his adorable little ways.
For ex, little Ace was ornery. If I'd get up and go to the bathroom I'd come back in and he'd be on coffee table. I had to Ace proof the house all the time, pick up things, have baby gate up. I'd tell him to get off the coffee table and he'd jump off and kick his back legs up in a playful manner. He listened to his dad better than me, although he did listen to me and did have some manners. You know how some yorkies play bite with their owners? Ace never did with me, I think one time he did as a puppy and I told him mommy doesn't like that...He never did again. He was such a momma's boy.
Sorry to go again but he was just so special.
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Old 07-31-2012, 07:02 AM   #10
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I am so sorry for your loss and having a tough time. You can not blame yourself or have too many 'What ifs' I did the same thing when we lost our dear Keally that I did not sleep anymore. I would go to my vet and cry and ask what if we did this? Please don't beat yourself up like I did. Little Ace is probably running with my Keally waiting til the day we meet again.I also found a wonderful breeder and did go on and got another little angel.Hugs to you and from my little angel Kinder too. Susan
Thank you, this has been devastating and kind words help. Yorkies are so special and the people that parent them know this.
Before we got Ace, hubby and I were looking into getting a small dog. I had had a yorkie growing up as a kid and I knew how special they were. Hubby wasn't big on getting a yorkie, he wanted a Chihuahua. Chihuahua's are fine dogs, but i'm in love with yorkies. So I got my way and we got Ace.
Overtime, I saw my husband had joined FB groups like, "I love my yorkie"LOL! And now we are getting a new little yorkie guy at the end of next month. After having Ace, Husband now knows why I love them so much, and he has yorkie fever. They just become part of your heart. I'm thinking it's the personality and the look. I know all are different but they are such loyal, brave, sweet babies. Take care.
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Old 07-31-2012, 08:12 AM   #11
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Thank you, this has been devastating and kind words help. Yorkies are so special and the people that parent them know this.
Before we got Ace, hubby and I were looking into getting a small dog. I had had a yorkie growing up as a kid and I knew how special they were. Hubby wasn't big on getting a yorkie, he wanted a Chihuahua. Chihuahua's are fine dogs, but i'm in love with yorkies. So I got my way and we got Ace.
Overtime, I saw my husband had joined FB groups like, "I love my yorkie"LOL! And now we are getting a new little yorkie guy at the end of next month. After having Ace, Husband now knows why I love them so much, and he has yorkie fever. They just become part of your heart. I'm thinking it's the personality and the look. I know all are different but they are such loyal, brave, sweet babies. Take care.
This is great to hear (read)! You could also make a webpage in honor of Ace and tell his story for all to see....
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Old 07-31-2012, 11:15 AM   #12
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I know that your heart hurts so much. A new baby will help heal a bit,not take his place but it does help. When Mina came into the house I told her all about the brother that she didnt get to meet and that was the beginning of our sweet relationship. I pray that as time goes on that your pain will deminish and that there will only be a special place left in your heart for Ace filled with good memories.
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Old 08-02-2012, 08:09 AM   #13
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I know that your heart hurts so much. A new baby will help heal a bit,not take his place but it does help. When Mina came into the house I told her all about the brother that she didnt get to meet and that was the beginning of our sweet relationship. I pray that as time goes on that your pain will deminish and that there will only be a special place left in your heart for Ace filled with good memories.
Thank you. I already told the new little guy about Ace. Actually, I didn't tell him, I was getting ready to and he looked up at me. He then rested his little head on my arm. I said, "yeah, i don't need to say anything you already know."
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:39 AM   #14
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Sounds like a good start to a special relationship.
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Old 08-02-2012, 01:14 PM   #15
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I'm so very sorry... God is the only One who decides if they stay or if they go... we all do the best we can while they are here with us. God puts them in our care, then when it's their time, He takes them back.

This explanation may seem simple, but it is the only way I have found to handle the pain of a loss. As great as your love for him is, your pain will be just as immense, or greater. I think sometimes He takes them back because He Knows there is another here on Earth who needs our love more, now that He is taking care of the ones who have gome Home.

I understand your emotional battle and the intense pain and emptiness in your heart. My heart is breaking for you and I am crying and praying for you... Your little Ace will always be with you in your heart. He is now your Angel, and he is with God at Rainbow Bridge waiting for you, where you will see him again. Bless you for loving him, and being there for him to love in return. I pray you can find Peace.
I was reading your comment and that makes so much sense to me now. You said, "As great as your love for him is, your pain will be just as immense, or greater." How true that is! Thank you. You never know when you respond to a comment just how many people you are going to help.
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