Goodbye Maggie

[llcornell]

I posted here for the 1st time a few weeks ago. My 15.5 year old baby had her hip dislocated. Before doing surgery the vet wanted a huge array of tests to determine her health before the hip surgery. All tests came back showing she was in great health and we went ahead with the hip the surgery on 4/23 and she recovered amazingly fast, within days was using her leg and had her spunk back, on her follow up visit to the vet he said she was healing like he had never seen before she had full range of motion and was putting all her weight on it. I felt so good about our decision. Then last monday 5/5 Maggie seemed kinda tired and wouldnt eat much but drank water and the same with tues so wed I took her to the vet and they did a blood test. Results were she was in kidney failure, we put her on an IV and thurs we went in to visit her and they said her blood tests showed improvement but she wouldnt look at me she kinda tried to get away from me it was the strangest behavior in 15 years she has never done what she did that day I stayed for a while and the vet suggested another 24 hours of IV fluid to see if she improved even more. Friday they called me "to come in and and make a decision on her quality of life" which they said would be poor and very short? I came in and she cuddled right up to me completly opposite from the day before. They suggested euthinasia because they could do no more for her. We put her down that day. Im so confused and hurt and I question so many things like would she have been ok if I had taken her in mon or tues and she could have started the IV sooner? Was she telling me she wanted to go on thurs and I tortured her another 24 hours in the ER on IV's until fri? Her last month of her life she spent in that stupid ER clinic with a million tests and then died there. How did she go from healthy to gone so fast. They tested her kidneys and they came back good before the surgery? How could it change so fast? They say it was coincidence but? Its been a week that she's been gone. I cant stop crying I feel like it will never get better and I know people tell me it will but she was everything to me. The house is so empty. I have no other pets or kids. How will it get better? I lost my little baby.

[red98vett]

I'm SO so sorry for your loss of Maggie

it seems to me that you did everything humanly possible but she was needed somewhere else (I know that doesn't help much but try to imagine her running free, happy & pain free with all the other Rainbow Bridge pets -and maybe one day you can really see her like that)

I feel so bad for you - I know your heart must be in a million pieces and even more if she is all you had.

Our lives can change in a split second and sometimes the hurt seems to be too much to bear.... but, if she had suffered more - you wouldn't have wanted that...

you didn't torture her so please don't feel that way and I can tell your Maggie knew she was very loved.

I'm very sorry.

[Patti]

I am so sorry for the loss of Maggie. You did every thing you could. When I got Dixie in December she acted normal and the only reason I took her for bloodwork in January was her pee was clear and had no odor. They came back that she had congenital kidney failure at 7 months of age, she was acting fine. I took her to a specialist and we started her on meds on Saturday and by Monday she was sick I took her in Thursady and she went from acting normal a week before to being so deathly ill i had to put her to sleep. The specialist said when the kidney's fail they can go so quickly, so don't blame yourself. My heart goes out to you

[Bizzymammabee]

Aww honey I am so sorry for your loss. May maggie rest in peace. Sending tons of hugs and prayers your way.

[Sunnie]

I am SO sorry for your loss. It is heartwrenching to lose a pet when they have been your constant companion. I lost my Ginger (Cairn Terrier) after 16 years. She had diabetes the last year of her life and was doing very well. It killed me to give her shots everyday, but I did what I had to do. Then one day she started vomitting.. I took her to the vet and they x-rayed her and saw a spot on her liver and said they needed to do a biopsy to determine what it was. So I let them. She came thru the surgery with flying colors and they said they had taken her outside to walk a bit and she was doing great and I could pick her up in the morning. When I was ready to pick her up, they told me she had taken a turn for the worse and when I saw her, I could see she was struggling to breathe. So I had to put her to sleep. I felt I would never get over it. Then I started second guessing my decision.. Even though I had taken her insulin to the vets while she was in there, I found out they had not given her any because she hadn't eaten. I just KNEW that was why she was in that condition! No insulin=diabetic shock.. Did it bring her back? no... sadly, nothing could bring her back. But you know what? I saw the love in her eyes for me before she passed. She KNEW I loved her! and I knew she loved me. and I knew she was no longer in pain. It has been 7 years now and I still think of her everyday. I miss her. But I can smile when I see her pictures.. She was wonderful! You will get there sweetie! Believe me, you WILL get there. and you will feel peace in knowing that she is not in pain. Bless you hon.
Sonya

[Duncansmom]

im so sorry. Please know you are not alone. I think most of us in here have gone thru this at least once. We open our hearts to these wonderful wee creatures and they make it bloom. I have lost several of my beloved friends, and I always knew going into a new pup that one day "that day" would come but of course you do it anyways because the love they give and leave behind is so much better than never having it at all. I lost my maltese Spike in Oct 06 and I still miss him dearly. He too was a diabetic and he died at the vets alone. It was very sudden and the guilt I felt and still feel at times was overwhelming. The could I's and the should I's haunted me. but, god knew how things needed to be and so they were. I had to learn to accept, not agree, but accept. And forgive myself for not being there even if it was 4am. Had I known, I would have lived there with him.
When your heart is ready, love will find you again. A different love, but a special one all its own. May God bless you and keep you tight in his loving arms until you find peace.

[KimMaple]

I am sooo sorry to hear of your loss.

[llcornell]

Originally Posted by Sunnie

I am SO sorry for your loss. It is heartwrenching to lose a pet when they have been your constant companion. I lost my Ginger (Cairn Terrier) after 16 years. She had diabetes the last year of her life and was doing very well. It killed me to give her shots everyday, but I did what I had to do. Then one day she started vomitting.. I took her to the vet and they x-rayed her and saw a spot on her liver and said they needed to do a biopsy to determine what it was. So I let them. She came thru the surgery with flying colors and they said they had taken her outside to walk a bit and she was doing great and I could pick her up in the morning. When I was ready to pick her up, they told me she had taken a turn for the worse and when I saw her, I could see she was struggling to breathe. So I had to put her to sleep. I felt I would never get over it. Then I started second guessing my decision.. Even though I had taken her insulin to the vets while she was in there, I found out they had not given her any because she hadn't eaten. I just KNEW that was why she was in that condition! No insulin=diabetic shock.. Did it bring her back? no... sadly, nothing could bring her back. But you know what? I saw the love in her eyes for me before she passed. She KNEW I loved her! and I knew she loved me. and I knew she was no longer in pain. It has been 7 years now and I still think of her everyday. I miss her. But I can smile when I see her pictures.. She was wonderful! You will get there sweetie! Believe me, you WILL get there. and you will feel peace in knowing that she is not in pain. Bless you hon.
Sonya

Thank you your story is so similar. Im glad you can smile when you see her pics. I hope I can be there one day. I guess I dont 2nd guess my decision but I do 2nd guess everything before it. She looked so horrible and sad on those last 2 days and everything is your responsablilty since they cant speak which is alot of weight. I do feel peace that she no longer has pain. But the pain of her lose is so crushing,

[mypreciouspups]

omg hon.. I am so sorry for your loss... I know how it is.. I lost a 5 year old to getting his shots.. and I was there to watch this happening and I could not do a thing.. the vets could not save him.. and omg.. It has been 4 years and I think part of me died that day also..
I did move on and I love my new yorkies.. if it were not for them, too much of my time would still be grieving my pooh.. he was my companion from birth.. he was the sold surviver of a litter.. he was sleeping with me at 4 weeks old.. yup,, he had a tiny harness on.. it was hooked to the middle of the headboard.. so he could not fall off.. he was my life, my love, my companion, and oh he was my life..I still die a little each time I write this kind of post..
But I ended up with gracie.. a baby that I had to tube feed and we kept her as we fell in love.. god made sure I had more yorkies to love.. he knew my life was not the same without.. it did take my mind off of pooh for they kept me busy and they too need and love me..
my heart goes out to you.. I so know the deep pain, and the hurt your going through..sending (((((big hugs..))))
anne

[4doggiemama]

I'm soooo sad for you. Our little furbabies are our little loves.

[yorkiesmiles]

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet, brave girl. I am so sorry you are hurting so much right now. Please don't blame yourself. You did what you thought was best -- I have been there too. I lost my female Bichon, Misha, to kidney failure also. It is so hard to let them go.

It will somehow get easier, but not right away. But somehow we do make our way thru this horrid pain. From your words, I am sure Maggie knows how much she was loved.

Hugs and prayers for you

[Mom to Hot Rod]

So sorry for your loss. Please do not second guess what you tried to do for your precious baby. You tried to make her quality of like better. You can never know what the future will bring. She knew that you loved her very much and she told you that she was ready to go. Remember all the joy that she brought over the 15 + years of her life. Hugs.

[YorkieChick1]

I'm so sorry, you lost your beloved Maggie...hugs

[mogli]

You did everything you could. Kidney failure doesn't "show" until less than 25-30% of kidney function is left. So 70% failure may not show signs when tested. We fought 2 hard weeks for Mogli and lost in the end. I tore myself up too with the "why did we put him through 2 weeks of hell" ... because the vets kept giving us hope, and Mogli didn't want to give up just yet.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[AprilLove]

I am sooo very sorry for your loss of your sweet precious Maggie. May she rest in peace, and may you find comfort in knowing that she is pain free and running with the other angels at the Bridge. :