having to choose between my boyfriend and my puppy

[JeanieK]

I would be rethinking the reltionship. But I would also try to correct the dogs behavior. She will outgrow a lot of this as she grows older. But if BF can't deal with a puppy, how is he going to be with children????

[ssmiles1980A]

I understand that you love your boyfriend ( Fiance ) But if you love your puppy then your dog is what comes with you, and he needs to except you for you, and your pup comes with you, I'm so sorry you are having this problem, I would never give up my little ones, Anyone who is with me needs to LOVE my puppies, because they come with me . I hope things work out in the end sweetie . I know this must be so hard for you right now . Do what you think is best in your heart and whats best for your life
Good luck. (( Hugs ))

[bren]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. That's not fair of him to make you choose between him and Pixie. This dog has been in your life over a year and he's giving ultimatums now? Maybe the 2 of you can sit down and compromise a bit so you would not be forced to choose him or her. Relationships are all about compromise (or at least they should be) Is he willing to compromise?

My boyfriend loves Max and Abbie (Max was actually a birthday/valentine's day gift from him) but if we ever break up and I meet someone else, it is required that they like (or tolerate at the very least) my dogs. Max was my first dog but I can honestly say that I will ALWAYS have a dog or 2. They are a part of who I am and if someone doesn't want to be with that part of me then I would have to move on. Plus-I don't respond well when given an ultimatum so I could see myself becoming very stubborn if something like that ever happened What can I say, I'm Italian

[elegntorchid]

oscar's mom: i felt the same way. if he is having this much difficulty adjusting to the things that small dog will do and the attention that animal receives, then what would he be like with a child. what will happen if your child spills milk on his suit or papers or phone????? what will happen when that new born is taking up your every waking moment. sometimes these small situations that anger a person in this way are signs of much bigger and worse things ahead. maybe you should try crating and some of the other suggestions you have received, but maybe you should also keep your eyes wide open and give this some more time before you fully commit.

[hunniebunnie]

first off, i'm sorry to hear about the problems your've having between your yorkie and your bf/fiance. here's my story:

my husband really didn't want a dog, but i really really did. so we agreed that bunjee would be my responsibility, both financial and maintainence. i didn't want to go off and just get a puppy without hubby at least agreeing to tolerate the new little one. afterall, the new puppy will be in our home and hubby's living space too. it wouldn't be fair to hubby if i completely disregarded his needs.

so although bunjee was going to be MY puppy, i included hubby in the process of getting him. i knew there was no way hubby would care to drive 60+ minutes to a breeder to check out a puppy, so i found breeders who were closer. we picked out the name "bunjee" together because he hated my first choice for a name.

upon getting bunjee home, i knew hubby would just hit the roof if bunjee ever pee'd on the carpet, chewed on the nice furniture and especially hubby's floor standing speakers. so i kept bunjee gated in the tiled areas of the condo. hubby gets annoyed when bunjee's cries wakes him up at night, so i learned to be a light sleeper and at the slightest sound from bunjee, i go to check on him before he makes noise at night.

i also did a lot of reading and took bunjee to obedience class the first chance i could. and worked a lot on obedience training and curbing all the undesireable puppy behaviors. i may not have been as aggressive on this had hubby liked bunjee from the start, but he didn't and i needed to do whatever i could to help all three of us get along since i'm no longer willing to give up one for the other.

today we're one happy family. hubby plays with bunjee as much as i do and shares in some of the responsibilities of caring for bunjee when i'm not around. he expresses a lot of concern when bunjee is feeling down or low. he's starting to work with bunjee a little on obedience ('cause he's kinda jealous that bunjee is so responsive to my commands but not responsive to his... i told him well, you gotta work with bunjee more! and he's starting to). and it's second nature to both of us that bunjee just comes with us everywhere we can take him.

he's not a dog fanatic like i am, but he's definitely growing to be a dog lover. i can say the same for my parents as well, especially my mom. she, along with my husband, was very vocal about why i shouldn't get a puppy. now i hear she just talked my cousin, who was on the fence about puppy ownership, into getting a puppy based on her experience with bunjee. she loves bunjee and babies him whenever she sees him, and bunjee knows it. he always acts like the spoiled grandchild around her.

so the bottom line ... it's not fair for your bf to give you the ultimatum of choosing between your yorkie or him. it's childish, it's immature, it's stupid. there will be things that come up in the future that requires lifestyle adjustments on both your parts, having children is definitely one of them. he needs to learn to pick up his things and away from pixie's reach. he also needs to understand that pixie is a living breathing part of you. she's not an old shoe that you can discard and leave behind since you're starting a new life with him. he's going to have to learn to live with pixie.

at the sametime, you need to create an enviornment that fosters a successful relationship between your bf and your yorkie. crate and confine pixie to areas of the home where she can be trusted not to chew and destroy. put more work into obedience training and enroll in a class if you've never done one before.

list all the "issues" your bf has with pixie and determine if they are behavioral/obedience problems or common dog behavior. and be very critical! don't casually write things off as "that's just what dogs do", and maintain the status quo. excessive chewing and attention barking are definitely behavioral issues that can be corrected with some time and work. you really have to do your part to making this relationship work, both with your bf and with pixie. it's not fair to your bf if you just expect him to "deal with it" with regards to pixie behavior. especially when the issues can be corrected with proper training. and believe me, a well trained, obedient, and CUTE dog does wonders for the mentality of even non-dog lovers.

good luck!

[robandkelly13]

I had a lot of problems with my oldest Yorkie, Krissy, chewing on any and everything. Than I got her some Dingo bones, which she loves, I put them all around the house and she quit chewing on my things. I also have a 13 week old yorkie, Roscoe, and he's teething bad, but he loves these Dingo bones too and I haven't had any problems with him chewing on my things. (I've had him since he was 8 weeks). Hope this helps.

[wenkebach99]

Crate her when you aren't at home and when you are at home when you see her chewing on something she shouldn't say no firmly and replace it with a toy. My little girl has only chewed on shoes twice when i brought her home because as soon as i saw her chewing it i did this and she has never chewed on anything she shouldn't since. I do spend alot of play time with her at least 1 1/2 per night is dedicated strickly to her play. The rest of the day i work and i will stop every 1 1/2 hours and take her out or just pick her up for a hug and kiss and tell her how much i love her. I know alot of people work outside the home and that isn't feasible. Just try crating her and putting a SAFE TOY in her crate with her so she will have somthing to play with or buy a gate a put her in the mud room or bathroom and leave toys in their with her while you are away.

Please don't get rid of her. There are men out there that would ac cept her behavior and love you enough to work with you and your pet. My boyfriend told me if i got a dog he would leave me WELL GUESS WHAT!!! i got a dog and i am getting my second puppy this weekend. He is 14 weeks and Sassy is almost 2 now and i got her at 5 weeks. For someone to raise so much cane about me getting her he LOVES HER TO DEATH AND HE CALLS HIMSELF DADDY!!! There are good men out there.

Hope this helps and good luck,
Melinda and Sassy

[RMKC]

for dingo bones, Never had a chewing prob since she was a tiny puppy !!!

[Ponyup]

I'm no expert on relationship, but my husband and I do have a good one and it's because of some little tricks we've learned. One never get caught up in the moment. He's mad, you're tired, he yells, you cry, no one listens, and nothing gets solved. Take some time to calm down and think about his feelings and concerns and what he actually said. Hopefully he will do the same. Go somewhere nice and private, probably away from the dog would be best because a barking yorkie can make a tense situation worse. Try and get down to what his main problems with the dog are now. How was he with the dog before you lived together? Is his new unfoundness for the dog based upon his stuff getting destroyed or other things? If it's just the barking and his stuff being destroyed hopefully you guys together can find ways to compromise and have every one live happily together. If you try to speak to him calmly and rationally and he still insists you choose and is not willing to compromise then I would suggest you take your dog and look elsewhere. When in a long term relationship a lot of things surfice that you never knew you'd have to deal with. If you love this person unconditionally and they you then you figure out ways to work these things out.

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I'm no expert on relationship, but my husband and I do have a good one and it's because of some little tricks we've learned. One never get caught up in the moment. He's mad, you're tired, he yells, you cry, no one listens, and nothing gets solved. Take some time to calm down and think about his feelings and concerns and what he actually said. Hopefully he will do the same. Go somewhere nice and private, probably away from the dog would be best because a barking yorkie can make a tense situation worse. Try and get down to what his main problems with the dog are now. How was he with the dog before you lived together? Is his new unfoundness for the dog based upon his stuff getting destroyed or other things? If it's just the barking and his stuff being destroyed hopefully you guys together can find ways to compromise and have every one live happily together. If you try to speak to him calmly and rationally and he still insists you choose and is not willing to compromise then I would suggest you take your dog and look elsewhere. When in a long term relationship a lot of things surfice that you never knew you'd have to deal with. If you love this person unconditionally and they you then you figure out ways to work these things out.

Nah, that's too much work...kick 'em to the curb



PS I AM KIDDING....good advice

[ReggiesMom]

This is actually Reggies Dad reading the posts.

Keep the Dog, dump the bum.

If he blows up over something that minor... He'll blow up on you next.

Please Listen to me. Please do not EVER let a man push you around or make you do anything you don't want to do. If he's asking you to do something you don't want to do, he's manipulating you. If you do it... He'll always manipulate you.

A relationship is 2 people SHARING a life (Sharing means Both of you involved)

I think his true colors are showing, and you (nor any other woman) needs that in her life.

Just my opinion.

[klogan]

Interesting situation. Here are a few points:

1) You are right - just put everything up high. We can't leave ANYTHING laying around the house or Stomper will get it. We always have to have a perfectly clean house. I guess that is somewhat of a good thing. It is an easy fix - he just needs to be consistent.
2) Beware of someone that gets that mad over a dog. If he can't handle a stress of a little dog running around...what about a baby? Just a thought to consider.
3) You shouldn't have to "choose" between the two. That is not fair of him to do that to you in my opinion.

There are simple changes you can make to help this problem. Here are a few suggestions:

1) Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that giving your dog up is not an option. There are things you can do (together) to prevent these "accidents" from happening. Work something out... You both need to take ownership though of the quick fixes around the house.
2) Your dog is jealous. Stomper used to do that. Be consistent and tell the dog NO! Your dog does need to know that the other human does come first and she can't always get her way. If you are consistent with this, she will stop doing that. Just kiss a lot! That is what my husband and I did. I would make Stomper sit down and call him up when we are done. He has gotten much better. You need to teach the dog a new trick!!! Even use treats. I promise this will work! Be consistent though.
3) Crate the dog more often rather than loving her all the time. She needs to learn she can't have it all. I know that is hard. I find it hard myself. I sometimes close the bathroom or bedroom door while I'm in it and don't let him follow. He still whines, but gets the clue and will eventually walk away. I know it is hard, but it will be good for your little one.

Hopefully you will find one of my bullets above helpful. Best of luck to you. I feel really bad for your situation.

[Lisa Nicole]

Oh Sweetie, Sorry you have this problem. In my opinion, your dog is not baggage!! If he loves you and wants to be with you then he won't expect you to choose... I hope things works out!!

Lis

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by ReggiesMom

This is actually Reggies Dad reading the posts.

Keep the Dog, dump the bum.

If he blows up over something that minor... He'll blow up on you next.

Please Listen to me. Please do not EVER let a man push you around or make you do anything you don't want to do. If he's asking you to do something you don't want to do, he's manipulating you. If you do it... He'll always manipulate you.

A relationship is 2 people SHARING a life (Sharing means Both of you involved)

I think his true colors are showing, and you (nor any other woman) needs that in her life.

Just my opinion.

Hey Reggie's Dad...if Reggie's mom ever throws you out...you come on up to Virginia, ok? I'll leave a light on for ya

[jpb1971]

I'll tell you one thing:

your boyfriend will not give you the kind of love that pixie is giving you!

You give him a choice...learn to live with pixie or pack your bags!