YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community - View Single Post - having to choose between my boyfriend and my puppy

hunniebunnie · 03-29-2006, 10:49 AM

first off, i'm sorry to hear about the problems your've having between your yorkie and your bf/fiance. here's my story:

my husband really didn't want a dog, but i really really did. so we agreed that bunjee would be my responsibility, both financial and maintainence. i didn't want to go off and just get a puppy without hubby at least agreeing to tolerate the new little one. afterall, the new puppy will be in our home and hubby's living space too. it wouldn't be fair to hubby if i completely disregarded his needs.

so although bunjee was going to be MY puppy, i included hubby in the process of getting him. i knew there was no way hubby would care to drive 60+ minutes to a breeder to check out a puppy, so i found breeders who were closer. we picked out the name "bunjee" together because he hated my first choice for a name.

upon getting bunjee home, i knew hubby would just hit the roof if bunjee ever pee'd on the carpet, chewed on the nice furniture and especially hubby's floor standing speakers. so i kept bunjee gated in the tiled areas of the condo. hubby gets annoyed when bunjee's cries wakes him up at night, so i learned to be a light sleeper and at the slightest sound from bunjee, i go to check on him before he makes noise at night.

i also did a lot of reading and took bunjee to obedience class the first chance i could. and worked a lot on obedience training and curbing all the undesireable puppy behaviors. i may not have been as aggressive on this had hubby liked bunjee from the start, but he didn't and i needed to do whatever i could to help all three of us get along since i'm no longer willing to give up one for the other.

today we're one happy family. hubby plays with bunjee as much as i do and shares in some of the responsibilities of caring for bunjee when i'm not around. he expresses a lot of concern when bunjee is feeling down or low. he's starting to work with bunjee a little on obedience ('cause he's kinda jealous that bunjee is so responsive to my commands but not responsive to his... i told him well, you gotta work with bunjee more! and he's starting to). and it's second nature to both of us that bunjee just comes with us everywhere we can take him.

he's not a dog fanatic like i am, but he's definitely growing to be a dog lover. i can say the same for my parents as well, especially my mom. she, along with my husband, was very vocal about why i shouldn't get a puppy. now i hear she just talked my cousin, who was on the fence about puppy ownership, into getting a puppy based on her experience with bunjee. she loves bunjee and babies him whenever she sees him, and bunjee knows it. he always acts like the spoiled grandchild around her.

so the bottom line ... it's not fair for your bf to give you the ultimatum of choosing between your yorkie or him. it's childish, it's immature, it's stupid. there will be things that come up in the future that requires lifestyle adjustments on both your parts, having children is definitely one of them. he needs to learn to pick up his things and away from pixie's reach. he also needs to understand that pixie is a living breathing part of you. she's not an old shoe that you can discard and leave behind since you're starting a new life with him. he's going to have to learn to live with pixie.

at the sametime, you need to create an enviornment that fosters a successful relationship between your bf and your yorkie. crate and confine pixie to areas of the home where she can be trusted not to chew and destroy. put more work into obedience training and enroll in a class if you've never done one before.

list all the "issues" your bf has with pixie and determine if they are behavioral/obedience problems or common dog behavior. and be very critical! don't casually write things off as "that's just what dogs do", and maintain the status quo. excessive chewing and attention barking are definitely behavioral issues that can be corrected with some time and work. you really have to do your part to making this relationship work, both with your bf and with pixie. it's not fair to your bf if you just expect him to "deal with it" with regards to pixie behavior. especially when the issues can be corrected with proper training. and believe me, a well trained, obedient, and CUTE dog does wonders for the mentality of even non-dog lovers.

good luck!

03-29-2006, 10:49 AM	#50
hunniebunnie Follower of Yorkietology Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Cali-fo-nee-ya Posts: 1,325	first off, i'm sorry to hear about the problems your've having between your yorkie and your bf/fiance. here's my story: my husband really didn't want a dog, but i really really did. so we agreed that bunjee would be my responsibility, both financial and maintainence. i didn't want to go off and just get a puppy without hubby at least agreeing to tolerate the new little one. afterall, the new puppy will be in our home and hubby's living space too. it wouldn't be fair to hubby if i completely disregarded his needs. so although bunjee was going to be MY puppy, i included hubby in the process of getting him. i knew there was no way hubby would care to drive 60+ minutes to a breeder to check out a puppy, so i found breeders who were closer. we picked out the name "bunjee" together because he hated my first choice for a name. upon getting bunjee home, i knew hubby would just hit the roof if bunjee ever pee'd on the carpet, chewed on the nice furniture and especially hubby's floor standing speakers. so i kept bunjee gated in the tiled areas of the condo. hubby gets annoyed when bunjee's cries wakes him up at night, so i learned to be a light sleeper and at the slightest sound from bunjee, i go to check on him before he makes noise at night. i also did a lot of reading and took bunjee to obedience class the first chance i could. and worked a lot on obedience training and curbing all the undesireable puppy behaviors. i may not have been as aggressive on this had hubby liked bunjee from the start, but he didn't and i needed to do whatever i could to help all three of us get along since i'm no longer willing to give up one for the other. today we're one happy family. hubby plays with bunjee as much as i do and shares in some of the responsibilities of caring for bunjee when i'm not around. he expresses a lot of concern when bunjee is feeling down or low. he's starting to work with bunjee a little on obedience ('cause he's kinda jealous that bunjee is so responsive to my commands but not responsive to his... i told him well, you gotta work with bunjee more! and he's starting to). and it's second nature to both of us that bunjee just comes with us everywhere we can take him. he's not a dog fanatic like i am, but he's definitely growing to be a dog lover. i can say the same for my parents as well, especially my mom. she, along with my husband, was very vocal about why i shouldn't get a puppy. now i hear she just talked my cousin, who was on the fence about puppy ownership, into getting a puppy based on her experience with bunjee. she loves bunjee and babies him whenever she sees him, and bunjee knows it. he always acts like the spoiled grandchild around her. so the bottom line ... it's not fair for your bf to give you the ultimatum of choosing between your yorkie or him. it's childish, it's immature, it's stupid. there will be things that come up in the future that requires lifestyle adjustments on both your parts, having children is definitely one of them. he needs to learn to pick up his things and away from pixie's reach. he also needs to understand that pixie is a living breathing part of you. she's not an old shoe that you can discard and leave behind since you're starting a new life with him. he's going to have to learn to live with pixie. at the sametime, you need to create an enviornment that fosters a successful relationship between your bf and your yorkie. crate and confine pixie to areas of the home where she can be trusted not to chew and destroy. put more work into obedience training and enroll in a class if you've never done one before. list all the "issues" your bf has with pixie and determine if they are behavioral/obedience problems or common dog behavior. and be very critical! don't casually write things off as "that's just what dogs do", and maintain the status quo. excessive chewing and attention barking are definitely behavioral issues that can be corrected with some time and work. you really have to do your part to making this relationship work, both with your bf and with pixie. it's not fair to your bf if you just expect him to "deal with it" with regards to pixie behavior. especially when the issues can be corrected with proper training. and believe me, a well trained, obedient, and CUTE dog does wonders for the mentality of even non-dog lovers. good luck!