When to Let Go???? Please Help!!!! ANYONE??? - Page 4 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

lily's mom · 01-28-2006, 09:24 PM

Several posts back you said you didn't know why you were being so selfish and sweetie that is the last thing you are being. I think you are being wonderfully compasionate! This is not a decision most people can just leap into. You are now try to make your heart and mind work in the same direction. Please, please be happy about the incredible life that this lovely lady, Flossie, has lived. She has been a joy to you and your Mother and you still have that and always will!! Her former self is what lives on in your memories. The shell of her former self that she has become is what is tearing you up. Love and comfort her for her remaining days and when the day comes, I am certain that you heart will be at peace.

Kerri · 01-28-2006, 09:27 PM

Thanks for the feedback! I am still wide awake and it is 12:30 my time. I have her and only her on my mind right now. 18 years is a long time for a dog and I should feel blessed!

chewysmom · 01-28-2006, 09:52 PM

This is such a sad and touching thread. Clearly, you love Flossie and want the best for her. Anyone can see that. It is very hard to make this decision and you are struggling. You have a lot of support here and whatever you decide, we will gladly help you thru it.

Maddie-Rudy-Mom · 01-28-2006, 11:00 PM

Know that Flossie had a great life for 18 years, with a family that loved her more than anything. Bless you and your sweet Flossie.

Connie · 01-28-2006, 11:15 PM

My heart goes out to you! I can truly say I know what you're going through and it is so hard to do. A couple of years ago I went with my sister to have her little yorkie, Rhett Butler, put to sleep. He was old and very ill and normally when he'd go to the vet, he was so scared he would shake and tremble. This time he was as calm as could be and acted as if he knew why he was there and was relieved and he seemed so at peace. Of course, my sister and I cried our eyes out...it's so hard to say goodbye to these loyal companions. I also had to have my poodle put to sleep many years ago. I couldn't go...my dear dad took her for me. I just sat home and cried. I think all of us at YT share in your sadness and sorrow and we will all have you and your precious Flossie on our minds. Big hugs to you!

kewtee · 01-29-2006, 12:33 AM

It is such a hard situation to be in - I feel with you!

But I think you are asking for advice because you already have the answer, but are too afraid to face it...am I right?

You have been a great friend to this dog all it's life, now be a great friend one last time and help her find peace.

luvmymonkies · 01-30-2006, 12:30 AM

It is so heartbreaking for you to be faced with this decision. I am in tears for you. I am so very sorry.

This may not make sense right now, but just be thankful that you have had this long wonderful life with her and that now you are in a position that you can say good bye and give her this gift of her relief from suffering and send her to be with your mom, someone she has been missing for quite some time. I know how it is to try to hold on to everything you possibly can that somehow makes you feel connected to the loved ones you have lost. I have experienced this all too often lately just as you have, but the fact that you are NOT being selfish during such difficult times says so much about you. You mentioned your concern of being selfish...you are far from it. These things are never easy and it is totally natural to not want to let go. You have a very big heart, and sometimes it takes a big heart to make the right decisions...nomatter how much they hurt. I will keep you and Flossie in my prayers.

Madison Avenue · 01-30-2006, 09:48 AM

Kerri,

As I write this, I am weeping with sorrow for all your pain.

When you write in your post that “I just hate to be the one to make the tough decision”, perhaps you could ask yourself if you are really making the decision, or if nature has already made it for you. As death is a part of life, this is the natural end of Flossie's long journey with you and your mother.

I have seen two close friends struggle with what to do as their beloved pets came to the end of their lives. In both cases, they were able to have a vet come to their homes and have the pet pass away in their arms as the medication was administered. For them, this helped greatly because they felt the pet “knew” they were safe. The pets were buried on their properties.

Also, you do have a choice. You can choose to not put Flossie to sleep and let the end come whenever it does--from everything you have said, the end is near-- or you could choose to intervene. Whatever choice you make is responsible and is clearly being made out of love. Only you can decide--that is both the burden and the privilege of loving Flossie.

Gazou · 01-30-2006, 10:03 AM

Kerri ,

You are in my thoughts and prayers .

TatumsMom · 01-30-2006, 10:24 AM

Not sure if you still need this advice but I agree with all said here. I had to put my 15 year old toy poodle down a couple years ago. I had also asked my vet when would I know the right time?? He said I would just know. That was a hard one to understand but there finally came a day when he had a stroke and could not stand up. Only 15 minutes before he had walked outside to potty and came back in to lay down. It was totally devastating so I won't say that it won't be hard but my vet was such a caring man that he helped us through it so much. This all brings a huge lump to my throat and tears to my eyes because I'm thinking of Dax but please know that it's not selfish or any of those other things you may be feeling. You've given your friend many years of wonderful life. My thoughts are with you.

vainchick5 · 01-30-2006, 10:52 AM

Kerri, you are making the right decision for Flossie. I know this is hard and I can't even imagine how torn you must feel, but you SHOULD be proud of yourself for helping her thrive after your mom's passing. You have been a great mom to Flossie. Maybe if you are with as when she passes, you will see how grateful she is to you for letting her go in peace. Just a suggestion. Good luck sweetie and lots of hugs going out to you for this tough decision.

crystalsmom · 01-30-2006, 11:08 AM

I read only your post because it breaks my heart to hear all this sadness. I can only
tell you I went a year too long with a little yorkie I had that I loved so very much.
I know it was for me too but I had a slight hope Ohio State could do something. These
little guys cannot make decisions for themselves and they are counting on us to let
them go when the time comes. I can't type anymore, I still cry for my Molly. My
prayers are for you and Flossie.

michiko · 01-30-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeganS

awww, Kerri, I haven't responded on this thread today only because I couldn't think of something to say that could possible comfort you. Now I realize there is nothing I can say that will really comfort you. I'm so sorry. This is such a hard decision one that - as pet owners - we are faced with. You have to remember that, though its hard on us, its a relief for them. If they are in pain and have lost their will to live its just the right thing to do. Its never easy. I will have you in my thoughts and prayers. Its not going to be easy, but you'll know when its time...she'll tell you.

Well-said, Megan.

I just read the post... I am also crying reading this post as everyone else is. I am speechless.. I am so sorry.. hon. Death is something that I worry all the time. Every living things die one day... including family members and even myself. It is definitely painful and scary. It is hard to let go.. I am trying to seize each day... so I don't regret... You are wonderful mom to your dogs and you care for her very much. Let her go.. for her happiness.. I know it is hard but you can do it. And remember good time with her... and seize the day! If you need to cry.. it is okay to cry.

My prayer to you and your family. (Your dogs are your family.. right?)

cajungal · 01-31-2006, 04:45 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your baby. How are you holding up? I just lost my yorkie of 13 and half year this past June. She had kidney failure. We knew there was no hope, but yet we kept trying to hold on to her. We took her to the vet 3 times a week for fluid injections. It was heartbreaking watching my lively little yorkie deterioate before my eyes. We could not bring ourselves to do it because she started to look like she was better. Started playing with her toys and barking again. Then, she took a quick turn for the worse only a few days after my birthday. She could not stand up without falling because she was so weak. Yellow fluid started coming out of her mouth and she could not even eat. Her normal 4 pound weight went down to 2 pounds. And Lacey knew this was the end. I will never forget the last day I saw her alive. She became very clingy and took her last bit of strength to get out of her doggy bed and pawed at my mom to pick her up. She held her in her lap almost all night. I kissed her little forehead, told her how much I loved her, would never forget her and would see her again over the rainbow bridge. My mom brought Lacey to the vet the next morning and put her out of her misery. I just recently purchased another yorkie that I named; Chloe. But, will never, ever forget my first yorkie Lacey. She will always hold a special place in my heart. Your baby is just beautiful and I will be thinking of you in this difficult time.

Hanna · 01-31-2006, 05:07 PM

When My TJ got sick I told the Vet I would take him home and when I felt it was time I would bring him back. Well I knew a month later it was time he had a hard time breathing and I could see he was not a happy little boy anymore. I hated to do it but I did not want him to be in pain anymore. He was not my lttle happy boy anymore. I miss him so. But I did it for him. My vet was very good that day. I was the last one in his office and he sat with us until it was time to give him the shot. He gave him the shot and we stayed with my baby until he was gone. My vet was very good. He spoke to me and my husband beause he knew how much TJ met to us and he said they should have longer lives to share with us humans.

Hanna

01-28-2006, 09:24 PM	#46
lily's mom Lily Loves Maximus Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Missouri Posts: 2,633	Several posts back you said you didn't know why you were being so selfish and sweetie that is the last thing you are being. I think you are being wonderfully compasionate! This is not a decision most people can just leap into. You are now try to make your heart and mind work in the same direction. Please, please be happy about the incredible life that this lovely lady, Flossie, has lived. She has been a joy to you and your Mother and you still have that and always will!! Her former self is what lives on in your memories. The shell of her former self that she has become is what is tearing you up. Love and comfort her for her remaining days and when the day comes, I am certain that you heart will be at peace. __________________ Lily and Dawn

01-28-2006, 11:00 PM	#49
Maddie-Rudy-Mom YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Beaumont, TX Posts: 1,887	Know that Flossie had a great life for 18 years, with a family that loved her more than anything. Bless you and your sweet Flossie. __________________ Cindy, Maddie, Rudy, Polly, Sprout, Angie, and Tucker Rest in peace Lucky 1989-2007

01-28-2006, 11:15 PM	#50
Connie Loved by Maddie & Libby Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Dakota Posts: 10,732	My heart goes out to you! I can truly say I know what you're going through and it is so hard to do. A couple of years ago I went with my sister to have her little yorkie, Rhett Butler, put to sleep. He was old and very ill and normally when he'd go to the vet, he was so scared he would shake and tremble. This time he was as calm as could be and acted as if he knew why he was there and was relieved and he seemed so at peace. Of course, my sister and I cried our eyes out...it's so hard to say goodbye to these loyal companions. I also had to have my poodle put to sleep many years ago. I couldn't go...my dear dad took her for me. I just sat home and cried. I think all of us at YT share in your sadness and sorrow and we will all have you and your precious Flossie on our minds. Big hugs to you! __________________ Custom doggie dresses and vests Memory is a country where I can go to see your face - but where do I go when I miss your embrace?

01-29-2006, 12:33 AM	#51
kewtee Donating YT Addict Join Date: May 2005 Location: Skagen, Denmark Posts: 769	It is such a hard situation to be in - I feel with you! But I think you are asking for advice because you already have the answer, but are too afraid to face it...am I right? You have been a great friend to this dog all it's life, now be a great friend one last time and help her find peace. __________________ Mette - proud mother of Kali - 6 lbs, born on March 18th 2004 Mare - 4 lbs, born on January 28th 2005

01-30-2006, 12:30 AM	#52
luvmymonkies Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 416	It is so heartbreaking for you to be faced with this decision. I am in tears for you. I am so very sorry. This may not make sense right now, but just be thankful that you have had this long wonderful life with her and that now you are in a position that you can say good bye and give her this gift of her relief from suffering and send her to be with your mom, someone she has been missing for quite some time. I know how it is to try to hold on to everything you possibly can that somehow makes you feel connected to the loved ones you have lost. I have experienced this all too often lately just as you have, but the fact that you are NOT being selfish during such difficult times says so much about you. You mentioned your concern of being selfish...you are far from it. These things are never easy and it is totally natural to not want to let go. You have a very big heart, and sometimes it takes a big heart to make the right decisions...nomatter how much they hurt. I will keep you and Flossie in my prayers. __________________ Heather, Monkey & Lil Maddie Play in peace my sweet Maddie girl. We miss you so much. 1/02/06

01-28-2006, 09:27 PM	#47
Kerri Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NC Posts: 121	Thanks for the feedback! I am still wide awake and it is 12:30 my time. I have her and only her on my mind right now. 18 years is a long time for a dog and I should feel blessed!

01-28-2006, 09:52 PM	#48
chewysmom My Precious Pup Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New York City Posts: 2,092	This is such a sad and touching thread. Clearly, you love Flossie and want the best for her. Anyone can see that. It is very hard to make this decision and you are struggling. You have a lot of support here and whatever you decide, we will gladly help you thru it.

01-30-2006, 09:48 AM	#53
Madison Avenue Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Slingerlands, New York Posts: 43	Kerri, As I write this, I am weeping with sorrow for all your pain. When you write in your post that “I just hate to be the one to make the tough decision”, perhaps you could ask yourself if you are really making the decision, or if nature has already made it for you. As death is a part of life, this is the natural end of Flossie's long journey with you and your mother. I have seen two close friends struggle with what to do as their beloved pets came to the end of their lives. In both cases, they were able to have a vet come to their homes and have the pet pass away in their arms as the medication was administered. For them, this helped greatly because they felt the pet “knew” they were safe. The pets were buried on their properties. Also, you do have a choice. You can choose to not put Flossie to sleep and let the end come whenever it does--from everything you have said, the end is near-- or you could choose to intervene. Whatever choice you make is responsible and is clearly being made out of love. Only you can decide--that is both the burden and the privilege of loving Flossie.

01-30-2006, 10:03 AM	#54
Gazou YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 2,180	Kerri , You are in my thoughts and prayers .

01-30-2006, 10:24 AM	#55
TatumsMom Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: TX Posts: 2,799	Not sure if you still need this advice but I agree with all said here. I had to put my 15 year old toy poodle down a couple years ago. I had also asked my vet when would I know the right time?? He said I would just know. That was a hard one to understand but there finally came a day when he had a stroke and could not stand up. Only 15 minutes before he had walked outside to potty and came back in to lay down. It was totally devastating so I won't say that it won't be hard but my vet was such a caring man that he helped us through it so much. This all brings a huge lump to my throat and tears to my eyes because I'm thinking of Dax but please know that it's not selfish or any of those other things you may be feeling. You've given your friend many years of wonderful life. My thoughts are with you. __________________ ~ Angie

01-30-2006, 10:52 AM	#56
vainchick5 YT 6000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: CA Posts: 6,588	Kerri, you are making the right decision for Flossie. I know this is hard and I can't even imagine how torn you must feel, but you SHOULD be proud of yourself for helping her thrive after your mom's passing. You have been a great mom to Flossie. Maybe if you are with as when she passes, you will see how grateful she is to you for letting her go in peace. Just a suggestion. Good luck sweetie and lots of hugs going out to you for this tough decision. __________________ Mommy to Coco and Rocco

01-30-2006, 11:08 AM	#57
crystalsmom Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 7,946	I read only your post because it breaks my heart to hear all this sadness. I can only tell you I went a year too long with a little yorkie I had that I loved so very much. I know it was for me too but I had a slight hope Ohio State could do something. These little guys cannot make decisions for themselves and they are counting on us to let them go when the time comes. I can't type anymore, I still cry for my Molly. My prayers are for you and Flossie. __________________

01-31-2006, 04:45 PM	#59
cajungal YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Schriever, Louisiana Posts: 404	I am so sorry to hear about your baby. How are you holding up? I just lost my yorkie of 13 and half year this past June. She had kidney failure. We knew there was no hope, but yet we kept trying to hold on to her. We took her to the vet 3 times a week for fluid injections. It was heartbreaking watching my lively little yorkie deterioate before my eyes. We could not bring ourselves to do it because she started to look like she was better. Started playing with her toys and barking again. Then, she took a quick turn for the worse only a few days after my birthday. She could not stand up without falling because she was so weak. Yellow fluid started coming out of her mouth and she could not even eat. Her normal 4 pound weight went down to 2 pounds. And Lacey knew this was the end. I will never forget the last day I saw her alive. She became very clingy and took her last bit of strength to get out of her doggy bed and pawed at my mom to pick her up. She held her in her lap almost all night. I kissed her little forehead, told her how much I loved her, would never forget her and would see her again over the rainbow bridge. My mom brought Lacey to the vet the next morning and put her out of her misery. I just recently purchased another yorkie that I named; Chloe. But, will never, ever forget my first yorkie Lacey. She will always hold a special place in my heart. Your baby is just beautiful and I will be thinking of you in this difficult time. __________________ Rest in Peace, Lacey I LOVE YOU. January 11,1992-June 30, 2005 Proud new mommy to Chloe Cheyenne born Dec 28, 2005

01-31-2006, 05:07 PM	#60
Hanna Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: new jersey Posts: 33	to see them in pain When My TJ got sick I told the Vet I would take him home and when I felt it was time I would bring him back. Well I knew a month later it was time he had a hard time breathing and I could see he was not a happy little boy anymore. I hated to do it but I did not want him to be in pain anymore. He was not my lttle happy boy anymore. I miss him so. But I did it for him. My vet was very good that day. I was the last one in his office and he sat with us until it was time to give him the shot. He gave him the shot and we stayed with my baby until he was gone. My vet was very good. He spoke to me and my husband beause he knew how much TJ met to us and he said they should have longer lives to share with us humans. Hanna