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09-17-2017, 08:18 AM | #1 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: USA
Posts: 947
| I don't know how to do this! Somebody, please tell me I'm not crazy! My baby girl died Wednesday morning and I couldn't save her. I tried CPR for 30 minutes and it didn't help. (I think she had a seizure.) I think about her all the time. I cry at every little thing. I close my eyes and I see her. I open my eyes and I wish she were there. I go to work with swollen eyes. I see her favorite toys all over the house. I can't bear to go outside where I found her, in the bathroom where my last efforts were to revive her, in her bed where she sleeps with her sister, who can't understand why she can't find her! I can't even get in my car to come home from work, knowing that she will not be there, all 3.5 lbs of her. My baby girl, Ally, Dec 31, 2008 - Sep 13, 2017. I don't know how to do this mourning thing! Too difficult! She was my empty-nest baby and I love her dearly. God gave her wings, but I my heart truly was not ready to let her go. How do I make the hurt go away???? |
Welcome Guest! | |
09-17-2017, 08:50 AM | #2 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: the land of high taxes
Posts: 123
| I am so sorry for your loss. I have no idea how to stop your heart from breaking since it has been 5 years since we lost our little Barkley and I still have a hard time talking about losing him. Time will make things a bit better, but you will never forget your little girl. She will always be in your heart. After a while you will even start to laugh remembering the antics she used to do and all the funny things about her. Take it slow; one day at a time. It takes time, but it does get better. |
09-17-2017, 09:24 AM | #3 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Hampton,Virginia
Posts: 683
| Bless your heart Dear Baby Yorkie, You are definitely NOT crazy. If it broke my heart to just read about what happened to your baby girl I KNOW you are suffering severely just as you spoke to us how you are hurting. What a shock that must have been for you and of course you are seeing her everywhere and all the things you spoke of that are hard for you. As seas the day spoke of it will take time and it will get better bit by bit, day by day. I still miss my Lacey and I think of her daily and she died in 2011 but it does not hurt like it did for months after her loss. I am so sorry for your sudden loss and it is quite normal to feel this way. May your healing come to you.
__________________ Gone but never forgotten,my Joey. 06/24/2018 |
09-17-2017, 11:36 AM | #4 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: E.Stroudsburg, Pa.
Posts: 67,915
| I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel, I lost my girl in 2013, all I did was cry, I could hear her breathing, hear her nails catching in the carpet, I couldn't drive, all I could think of was the day I had to put her down. Not a day does by that I don't think of her and cry. But that severe pain in my heart is gone, and I do smile remembering our happy times. It's still hard for me to talk about her without tearing up. You went through a horrible, tragic experience, one that will be hard to put behind you. Try to stay strong for your other baby who is confused looking for her sister and feeding off your sorrow (((HUGS)))
__________________ Joan, mom to Cody RIP Matese Schnae Kajon Kia forever in my A House Is Not A Home Without A Dog |
09-17-2017, 12:37 PM | #5 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Burbs of DC
Posts: 2,198
| I'm so sorry to hear about your baby girl. I lost my Troy in 2013 as well and it was extremely difficult as he was just under 4 years old and it was an unexpected illness that lead to me having to out him to sleep. It is not easy at all and our hearts go out to you. It does get easier over time but you never forget how they've touched your soul and in your case the events that led to you trying to save her. Only solace advice I can give is allow yourself time to grief, it's okay to feel what you feel , love on your other baby. Hugs to you .
__________________ Owned by Troy(RIP) & Emma |
09-17-2017, 01:38 PM | #6 |
Donating 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2015 Location: Jacksonville, FL USA
Posts: 881
| There is nothing we can do about the heart ache when we lose a loved family member. I can only tell you that even thought the hurt will still be there, over time it will lessen to the point of being bearable. One thing I can tell you to do is remember the things you loved to do together. At first, this will hurt more than you think you can handle. But soon it will warm your heart and make you happy to remember the joy that you shared with your little girl. Until then, love on her sister, pet her and remind her how much she means to you. Cry into her little side and let the pain out.
__________________ Russ, Denise, Bella and Bailey . |
09-17-2017, 03:00 PM | #7 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: USA
Posts: 947
| Thanks so much. I am doing my best to keep it together, but this is hard! I want to hold Ally so bad! I love her so much! |
09-17-2017, 05:12 PM | #8 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 17,674
| I am so very sorry... I am so very sorry for your loss. Love the pic of Ally you posted, she looked to be a very precious soul. To answer your question - you start by surviving a second at a time. Then a minute, an hour, a day. I can tell you from experience that losing a beloved furry family member can cause the worst kind of pain. It is like huge hole is ripped in your heart and there is no healing in sight. One day you will think of Ally and have a smile on your face rather than tears falling down your cheeks. That is when you know that healing has begun. Eventually you will have more smiles than tears but I can't tell you when or if the tears will completely go away. I am sitting here with tears on my cheeks, thinking of our beloved Boo the Boxer. She was 15 when she left us and that was 10 years ago. The pain is still very raw and rarely does a day go by that I don't grab a pic from her memorial table and shed tears. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.... |
09-17-2017, 05:52 PM | #9 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: USA
Posts: 4,285
| So sorry for your loss! We never have our babies long enough. Time helps the healing, but extended grieving can be a problem for some folks. You might seek a therapist that does grief therapy to help you out with the tough time you are having! Sending hugs and blessings!
__________________ . Cali , and Cali's keeper and staff, Jay No, not a "mini" Yorkie - She loves to motor in her Mini Cooper car |
09-18-2017, 11:50 AM | #10 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Canada
Posts: 1,903
| So very sorry for your loss. I lost my baby girl in 2012. It was one of the hardest things I've ever faced in my life... Talking about it helps. Crying helps too. Don't worry you'll get through this with time.
__________________ ~ laughter is an instant vacation ~ https://scottieandcasie.com/ :: Custom Pet Portrait Paintings |
09-18-2017, 12:28 PM | #11 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: USA
Posts: 947
| I never imagined that I would feel like this. It's so overwhelming! I feel like I am in limbo; don't know which way to go. I see her face all the time. Unfortunately, right now, all I see is her little body when I tried to revive her. I feel like I didn't do what I was supposed to do, protect her. She was my baby girl! I love her dearly! Right now, I can't imagine not having her romping through the house with her bell on her collar jingling. Her collar is now attached to my purse. I am purchasing a memorial box, with her photo, to put her favorite things/belongings in. All her little clothes won't fit though. She had way too many! I do not think anyone, other than members of yorkietalk, would understand this pain. Thanks for everyone's support and understanding. Mama misses you baby girl! |
09-18-2017, 12:33 PM | #12 |
YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2017 Location: Concord
Posts: 271
| My heart ached when I read your post. I am so very sorry for your loss. |
09-18-2017, 03:29 PM | #13 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: Vandalia Il.
Posts: 18,806
| My wife grieved for six years until I persuaded her into getting Dexter. Heartfelt condolences to you
__________________ Dexter's dad |
09-20-2017, 10:28 PM | #14 |
YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 3
| I am so sorry for your heartache and I can identify with your immense pain and the freshness of how recent this occurred. I just lost my 14 year old 3 lb. Chihuahua on 8/13/17. Madison was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor this past April after a grand mal seizure. I knew what I was facing, but had no idea it would happen without warning. My kids are grown and she was my little baby girl who spent every hour of every day with me. On August 11th she had two seizures in an hour and I rushed her to the ER vet and had to leave her. I was up all night with worry. When I brought her home 14 hours later I knew that her quality of life was forever changed. I asked my husband to call "Lap of Love" so I could be with her when she took her last breath. There has hardly been a day that I don't find myself in tears. Just this past week I was researching Yorkie breeders in the hope of finding a puppy to love. Twice while looking online I felt my little girl snuggled next to me and instinctively reached over to touch her. When I realized she was not there I burst into tears. As this continued to happen several more times, I knew that I was not imagining this. I have concluded that she was giving me permission to find another companion to love, as I was really struggling with the loneliness of getting through the day. On Saturday, my husband bought me a 4 month old parti yorkie for my birthday. He is so stinking cute that it will be impossible not to fall in love with him. This is my first Yorkie (and puppy in 14 years) so I joined to learn all things Yorkie. In fact this is my very first post. Your post truly tugged at my heart because I miss my little girl beyond words. Allow yourself to cry and remember because this is what keeps them close to your heart. I don't know when it gets easier, but knowing that others care helps when you feel so alone. Take care |
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