I am so sorry for your heartache and I can identify with your immense pain and the freshness of how recent this occurred.
I just lost my 14 year old 3 lb. Chihuahua on 8/13/17. Madison was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor this past April after a grand mal seizure. I knew what I was facing, but had no idea it would happen without warning. My kids are grown and she was my little baby girl who spent every hour of every day with me. On August 11th she had two seizures in an hour and I rushed her to the ER vet and had to leave her. I was up all night with worry. When I brought her home 14 hours later I knew that her quality of life was forever changed.
I asked my husband to call "Lap of Love" so I could be with her when she took her last breath. There has hardly been a day that I don't find myself in tears.
Just this past week I was researching Yorkie breeders in the hope of finding a puppy to love. Twice while looking online I felt my little girl snuggled next to me and instinctively reached over to touch her. When I realized she was not there I burst into tears. As this continued to happen several more times, I knew that I was not imagining this. I have concluded that she was giving me permission to find another companion to love, as I was really struggling with the loneliness of getting through the day.
On Saturday, my husband bought me a 4 month old parti yorkie for my birthday. He is so stinking cute that it will be impossible not to fall in love with him. This is my first Yorkie (and puppy in 14 years) so I joined to learn all things Yorkie. In fact this is my very first post. Your post truly tugged at my heart because I miss my little girl beyond words.
Allow yourself to cry and remember because this is what keeps them close to your heart. I don't know when it gets easier, but knowing that others care helps when you feel so alone.
Take care |