Everyone Please Read: Going Forward, We Must Post With More Respect Toward Others
 

Hi all -

Firstly, I just want to say what a wonderful community YT is, and that I hope this thread can help us all think about improving our presence here during interactions…even if it just means tweaking our posting styles a bit.

I’ll get right to the point: we’ve been receiving a huge amount of communications from members who are concerned/venting about some of the harshness and aggression they’re seeing/perceiving in the community. This harshness pertains to both new and old members - on both the receiving and giving end of things. We’re hearing there is a pervasive feeling that members are being driven away via disrespectful, snarky, disdainful, extremely aggressive, and downright mean posting styles. This needs to stop.

We cannot be a community or call ourselves a community if we don’t come together sometimes, as a collective, and agree to do better. Well, it’s time to come together and agree to do better...to be more aware of giving (yes, GIVING) respect, to be more kind, to be more compassionate and supportive.

No one is asking anyone to be a Pollyanna or to not be themselves. We’re merely asking that, in your interactions, you strive harder and TRULY commit to what is mentioned in the previous paragraph. It’s not that hard -- and if it IS hard for you, then perhaps this isn’t the right board for you and perhaps it’s time to move on from YT to find an environment that does fit.

We are not asking much. If you do think we’re asking too much, then 1) this is not the community for you 2) you’re being self-centered and 3) you need to develop your insight into human beings, other than yourself. WE ARE NOT ASKING MUCH.

It is okay to speak your mind here at YT. However, it is not okay to simply justify any means you deem fit to meet your end goal. We believe in being STRONG advocates for dogs/animals - but not, however, at the expense of the human being behind that dependent and innocent dog. Please do not assume or think that it’s okay to behave any way you please merely because it’s in the interest of an animal. We all need to be decent here and post w/ a modicum of respect…EVEN when and especially when dealing with someone who is doing everything we are personally opposed to. Your opposition to another human being’s behavior does *not* mean you are right, nor is it a fact that they are universally and categorically wrong….it merely means you have opposition. Please learn to deal with it because it’s not going away.

If we see excessively negative and/or badgering posting styles, we will be warning people or suspending people and/or permanently banning members’ accounts.

This is an open discussion in terms of feedback, thoughts, concerns….so please feel free to share. This post is not aimed at anyone, so please do not make assumptions. It was driven by the sheer amount of concerned members who expressed themselves via PMs and on the forum itself. Thank you for reading! :)

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Sounds quite reasonable :thumbup:

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YT is not a pleasant place to be . I do come on and read sometimes but I rarely post anymore. If things change I think you would see a lot more activity on the boards. Hopefully your thread will change things Ann..but I am not holding my breath.

You have to walk on pins and needles and be afraid of every thing you say when you post here. I am sure I'm not the only long time member who feels this way. YT has always had drama but the last couple of years its been over the top.

Life is stressful enough without adding more to it with the drama here.

:thumbup: this is perfect, Because I am afraid to post anything , Due to some harsh YT members. Thank you. :thumbup::thumbup:

Thank you for always being respectful and for encouraging us to be the best we can be. I great fully appreciate how much time and compassion you bring to YorkieTalk. Your words are well thought out and heartfelt. Great post!

Very well said, thank you Ann. I myself will try harder to stop and think about a persons situation more before I post. I am guilty of to quick of a response sometimes and know that I have came off sounding rude and uncaring at times. I think for myself it is good to be reminded sometimes that there are real human beings behind the scene and they have feelings to.

Thanks Ann I know I have posted in ways where I could have been more respectful and I will strive to do better. I dont like to argue and I dont like to read it in a thread we all get carried away sometimes and need to be reminded

I have been the target recently around here and it was totally uncalled for. I've put it behind me now, but I agree with Jadabug that sometimes I don't feel like posting anymore. I still do because I know that I have something to offer to people and there are emails I get from people where my friendship or advice made a difference to their pet. I'm never going to be the sugary sweet type of person some can be (it just would not be genuine), but that doesn't mean I am harsh, lack respect for others, or was somehow raised incorrectly. Comments like that are really hurtful even if coming from the self-righteous. I also sometimes wonder why this wonderful community of YT members (including the members who always want better behavior from others) don't step up in threads where support is needed - and sometimes it is a thread by one of our own. All the energy some spend telling others how to post and scolding them without moderator status could be channeled into something more positive. There are so many wonderful people here that it truly offsets the negativity for me, and I'm glad to still be a member here for almost 6 years of active posting. I hope everyone has a great rest of the day and I'm glad that Ann started this thread.

I totally agree with this statement. There have been times that all I see is best wishes when a member is begging for help. Whether or not they want to hear it sometimes it just needs to be said in a respectful way i.e. take your poor dog to the vet. It's not a time for prayers and thoughtful sentiments. Real experience needs to be voiced. I've been a member since 2007 plan to stick around for a long time to come offering advice both on threads, in PMs and even over the phone as needed. Yes, I have given out my phone number to members in the past that needed help. Not sure how many other people have done this but I have more than a few times.

I'm going back to making trivia questions for the YT trivia Game. See you all there :)

Thank you!
 

As always, Ann, you managed to say what needed to be said in strong and respectful terms.

If it matters at all, I am very much appreciating the feedback you are giving me on pet insurance :)

Sometimes we all get our feathers ruffled and need to be reminded to chill. I miss a lot of the members who have left. However I also feel sometimes things are blown out of proportion when members are really just trying to help. Once blown out of proportion the thread spirals out of control. And it never does any good. I think everyone also needs to understand and respect that all of us have opinions that may differ. And understand what a forum is about. Sometimes I just have to walk away from threads to keep from blowing a gasket. But I also don't have someone trying to push my buttons. The hardest part is we all want what's best for the pups and when someone is not doing that we tend to get a little ugly. Hopefully this will remind all of us to take a deep breathe and regroup when issues arise.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: So true. I left for years due to the harshness, came back after losing my Shelby. So few people understand the pain. Still can't talk about it but good to be around people who get it.

New puppy=new things to learn. I love reading all the different experiences and ideas. Thanks for helping to keep it civil.

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I hope this post does bring change to YT. I was dumped on my first week of becoming a member of YT. I will do my part and continue to be welcoming


Thx

I agree with all of the above . I have been attacked here so read instead of posting..It can get wicked. Hoping it gets better

Well said Ann.

I very much agree. I have had a few is it worth posting here anymore moments the last month and I try to remember the people and dogs I have helped and the private messages I have gotten before just to say thanks and I try to remember I have meet some great friends here. I know sometimes we all have grumpy or bad days so when I have one of those I either try to stay off yt or only open certain happy posts so I'm not tempted to post ing my grumpy mood. I also have started making sure to read over what I have typed and try to make sure there isn't something that could hurt someone's feelings or be taken the wrong way. I will admit though sometimes there is only stuff I tell a close friend about Callie instead of posting for fear of being beat up about it. Sometimes I also have certain questions I'm afraid to ask for fear of it starting drama or a fight when they are real questions about yorkies that I would like to know about.

Thank you Ann for your post.
I was going to leave here but after some private messages I am staying.
I enjoy reading posts but not the ones attacking someone.
I hope everyone can remember other people have feelings and I will do that also.

Dawn.

Well said indeed 'Wylies Mom' I suffered a recent and really spiteful affront, which upset me at a time when I was vulnerable. I think there exist 'idealogues' abroad everywhere, who proffer opinion regardless to individual circumstances, just to ram their point home. Their dogma however can be very hurtful and most times bitterly presented. Other forums have an 'ignore' option, so you can prevent reading what this specific member is saying? It's a shame this function has to exist, but very often these people do not possess either the humility or intelligence of consideration to refrain. Unfortunately having to reprehend them therefore, rarely seems to remedy a basic flaw in their psyche. Providentially, the many and wonderful friends I now have here on this essentially passive and loving forum, more than compensate:)

I haven't been on much either because of this....This is supposed to be a "discussion" forum yet people are complaining they don't feel comfortable in expressing their opinions here. If the admin./ moderators are receiving a "huge" number of complaints then this is a serious issue for the forum. Everything posted on here affects how we are perceived as a group, and frankly, it's not altogether flattering. Personally, I don't mind a difference of opinion, it's the constant badgering to prove the person wrong that creates this confrontational atmosphere. Why can't a person state their opinion without snarky comments directed at the opposing view? It's really not that hard...

I really wish these reminders were enough to solve this issue, but if the few who are creating this hostile environment don't realize it's their behavior contributing to this then we can't expect change. Sometimes it's just their personality and they have no clue how they appear to others. Maybe they don’t realize how rude and unpleasant their behavior is – it’s their blind spot.

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Being new here, I am fortunate to not have experienced anything that I might take personally offensive (and usually try to keep an open mind or a more objective point of view), but it's good to be given reminders to "mind" ourselves at times. There's a big difference in expressing an opinion as opposed to trying to enforce an opinion, but at the same time the lines can get easily blurred when things get misinterpreted and emotions are very easy to rile up, especially if it's a subject one is passionate about ^_^

So true! You're right that they don't see their blind spot! And it is indeed unpleasant. I think (and this is a discussion forum so I am discussing :)) that they really need to see themselves as they pontificate to others. I personally think this forum is quite mild compared to some I've seen. Are we just a bunch of eggshells?

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: Well said and thank you so much for posting this. It needed to be said. I'm fairly new here, and for the most part, I love this group. I know there have been several threads lately that I would've like to have posted in but didn't feel comfortable doing so because of all the bickering so just avoided them. I hope we all take this to heart. :)

I am a bit shocked. This is by FAR the nicest forum I have ever been apart of. After a very mild debate I got myself into, I had many private messages reassuring me that this was a nice place, as if I thought any differently just because of a very small debate. I'm use to a MUCH different hostile atmosphere, which I've grown to quite enjoy. Because of my strong personality and lack of filter, I would probably be better of not posting often. But I appreciate you trying to create a friendlier atmosphere for others! Xo

Thank you Ann for posting this much needed reminder. What irks me no end is when and this often happens with a new member, a simple question asked is not answered particularly when it is a simple factual answer, it does not require interpretation or knowing more about the background history, but by the time the answer is given the OP has to wade through posts that contain questions and assumptions that carry at the very least a negative undertone that is quite easily picked up by the OP.

We need to remember while this is a dog forum, and for dogs and the joy we can share in our dogs, the health issues we face, it is THEIR HUMANS who are speaking here. It is their human hands that will turn from this board and pick up the phone to call the vet, it is their human hands that can caress an ill dog more lovingly because they received understanding and support here. It is our voices that can help calm the fears of the OP's, that can help assuage guilt for doing what needs to be done despite the sheer pain it will cause the human care-giver.

I do hope your missive will help to make a difference.

Great reminder. I just wasn't to add for us all to remember that we were once first time dog owners. We all had to ask questions that probably sounded dumb and we all made mistakes that I'm sure we would not want to be punished for over and over again. It's easy to forget we were all newbies at one time, let's treat each other like we would want to be treated.