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07-17-2014, 11:33 AM | #76 |
Furbutts = LOVE Donating Member Moderator | And this is all a perfect example of perception bc in your example, imo, you should be saying "I CAN'T believe you" if the onus is on you, not on them. When one says "I don't believe you", then the onus is on the other person, imo. So, that's how I'd interpret the difference there in semantics. But, that's just me.
__________________ ~ A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn. ~ °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° Ann | Pfeiffer | Marcel Verdel Purcell | Wylie | Artie °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° |
Welcome Guest! | |
07-17-2014, 11:35 AM | #77 |
Furbutts = LOVE Donating Member Moderator | In other words: I can't believe you = I'm capable of believing you, but I can't in this case. Whereas: I don't believe you = I'm incapable of believing you, therefore, you're a liar.
__________________ ~ A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn. ~ °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° Ann | Pfeiffer | Marcel Verdel Purcell | Wylie | Artie °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° |
07-17-2014, 11:39 AM | #78 |
♥Love My Snuggle Bugs♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Missouri
Posts: 4,290
| Personally I think there are many ways to word things and get our point across without coming across as rude or uncaring. Yes we all have our own way of posting and yes we all interpret the written word differently. Even when raising my children I tried to speak to them in a calm manner and get my point across to them. On the occasions when I would be at the boiling point and say things to them in a loud, or what they perceived to be a rude manner, I could literally see them blocking me out. All that did was make them upset and angry and me more angry. I also try to do that with everyone else. Am I perfect? Absolutely not I am human and have to apologize for a lot of things I say and do in life and here. For instance, when I use the words (I was raised to) I am speaking of how I was raised and not how you or anyone else was, be it good or bad. So if those words did offend anyone here then I do apologize because they were never intended to say you had bad raising.
__________________ CharleneMama to Laddy and Kyra and Always in our hearts Lolita |
07-17-2014, 11:45 AM | #79 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| It is #1 but Im going to be more careful in my phrasing in the future because I dont like being accused of calling someone a liar which i dont call anyone even outside of here it really bothered me. Im am just a more to the point person rather than thinking about how I could phrase something
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
07-17-2014, 11:47 AM | #80 |
YT 2000 Club Donating Member | And so the discussion ensues between the longer term members. It is very interesting to me. I am strongly reminded of a neurosurgeons quote; We are more different on the inside of our brains then we can ever be on the outside of our bodies. The reception of language and in particular written language, as that is what we have to work with here, is subject to so many variables of reading comprehension, regional differences in expression, never mind country differences, that it is rather amazing we can communicate effectivey at all. It is a sobering note, a thought to keep in mind, as we respond to posts.
__________________ Razzle and Dara. Our clan. RIP Karma Dec 24th 2004-July 14 2013 RIP Zoey Jun9 th 2008-May 12 2012. RIP Magic,Mar 26 2006July 1st 2018 |
07-17-2014, 11:51 AM | #81 |
Furbutts = LOVE Donating Member Moderator | I would like to ask a favor of everyone as I'm learning here and via PM that perhaps some members really do not know what is considered "inappropriate"....let's post examples of what we think is an inappropriate way of saying things. Let's not argue whether anyone is right or wrong....just post whatever you think, personally. Let's see the variety we get.... For me it's stuff like: -You're ridiculous -You're a bully -What you posted is ridiculous -You should be ashamed of yourself! -You should not even own an animal! -What you're doing is horrible. -You need to work on your comprehension skills. -Maybe you should go back and read the thread as you clearly haven't! -Maybe you should leave this thread if you don't like it. -You're rude. -You're just wrong. -You clearly don't care about this dog. -You should not be breeding in the first place. -You should work on your grammar. -I'm putting you on ignore.
__________________ ~ A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn. ~ °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° Ann | Pfeiffer | Marcel Verdel Purcell | Wylie | Artie °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° |
07-17-2014, 11:58 AM | #82 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| You need to work on your reading comprehension skills/been said to me Anything about grammer bothers me Im sure there are more but Ann has covered alot still thinking
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
07-17-2014, 12:04 PM | #83 | |
♥Love My Snuggle Bugs♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Missouri
Posts: 4,290
| Quote:
__________________ CharleneMama to Laddy and Kyra and Always in our hearts Lolita | |
07-17-2014, 12:09 PM | #84 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: At Home
Posts: 8,386
| Blowing out another person's light will not make yours shine brighter.
__________________ [SIZE="3"VICKI & ALLIE[/SIZE] |
07-17-2014, 12:09 PM | #85 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| I think thee word rude is overused I would truly rather see someone say your not being nice than rude because rude has been used to encompass anything someone deems to be unappropriate when sometimes its not inappropriate it is just how they are comprehending it
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
07-17-2014, 12:16 PM | #86 | |
Love my Boys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: w/ my boys
Posts: 5,056
| Quote:
I may be alone on this but the thing I see on the forum that tends to create derailed threads is repetitiveness directed at one person. If a poster says something that another disagrees with or needs clarification on it starts with the two posters, then there are two, then three, and sometimes four members saying essentially the same thing over and over when the issue was already being addressed by the first poster...
__________________ B.J.mom to : Jake J.J. Jack & Joey, momma misses you..... The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.. | |
07-17-2014, 12:17 PM | #87 | |
♥Love My Snuggle Bugs♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Missouri
Posts: 4,290
| Quote:
__________________ CharleneMama to Laddy and Kyra and Always in our hearts Lolita | |
07-17-2014, 12:19 PM | #88 | |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| Quote:
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 | |
07-17-2014, 12:21 PM | #89 |
Love my Boys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: w/ my boys
Posts: 5,056
| I always feel bad when it's happening to new member, I just cringe. If that happened to me it would feel like I stepped into a shark attack.
__________________ B.J.mom to : Jake J.J. Jack & Joey, momma misses you..... The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.. |
07-17-2014, 12:23 PM | #90 |
♥ Love My Tibbe! ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: D/FW, Texas
Posts: 22,140
| I love to see a good debate but quickly lose interest and heart when members begin behaving like virtual children. To me, name-calling and losing patience to the point of being rude while in a discussion or debate shows a personal lack of ability to otherwise resolve the conflict with their reasonable thoughts and words and says as much about the member personally than any words they use. At some point one must accept others are just not going to see things their way, no matter how "right" that person feels they are and use some restraint before they strike out verbally in some sort of verbal vengeance. Most adults find ways to disagree without resorting to more teenage tactics of using zingers, taking verbal potshots and making hurtful statements and if they are not able to do so, should simply walk away from the thread for a while. To stay and post their ugly feelings may help that poster feel powerful at the moment but isn't really helping this wonderful forum or those who love it.
__________________ Jeanie and Tibbe One must do the best one can. You may get some marks for a very imperfect answer: you will certainly get none for leaving the question alone. C. S. Lewis |
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