I am at my wits end!!!!!

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Cuddles Cookie

I've never thought of that. My dogs used to have doggie doors. I had never had any troubles but I can see your concern over it. Sorry I had posted incorrect information. :P

Oh my, don't think of it like that! You were just trying to be helpful and suggest what worked for you. I guess I sounded a bit officious in my post now that I read it and shouldn't have!!! I could have said it better. You are new to the forum and just like I was when I joined. I've learned so much here about how to be a better steward to my dog that it's not funny. Thought I knew a good bit about dogs until I became a member here and soon all these ladies and gents with years of Yorkie and small dog experience and knowledge soon began to fill me up with more and more knowledge and insight into the special needs of Yorkies and toy dogs and I've so much more to learn. Many have used Doggie Doors successfully for years but now that we know the predators are losing their natural habitats as civilization slowly takes over more and more of their territory, they are coming into our neighborhoods and things like that just to try to get their necessary food for themselves and their pups and predator birds are doing the same. It's a sad state of affairs when you've a little guy outside alone and a coyote comes walking down the alley and is over the fence before you know it.

I live in a subdivision not out in the wilds or country or anything and our city warned us a couple of years ago that we had had coyote sightings after dark with history of pets being at risk and realized then how scary it would be if my Tibbe could go outside just anytime he wanted through a doggie door. So on YT we share information so each of us will be better informed and know more about how to better care for our little ones!

BTW, welcome to Yorkie Talk!!!

[Jewel25]

We use a doggie door and if our situation was any different I would be concerned about all those issues. Dognapping or other animals, but in our household it works out well. We live in the city a few floors up with a nice enclosed balcony. We have a little pee-pee and poop area for her. Don't worry we made sure there was no way she could jump or fall off.

Also we don't let her use the doggie door when we are not home. She is stuck using her potty pad (which I am a feeling she is not a fan off).

[Cuddles Cookie]

It's ok. I've already seen so much information and I know I'm going to learn so much on here! Thank you for telling me about it

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Cuddles Cookie

It's ok. I've already seen so much information and I know I'm going to learn so much on here! Thank you for telling me about it

It's such a great site, we learn something every day. Plus, there's often lots of fun here when things are going well with everyone for a while. You'll also find lots of friends here over the years so be sure to stay around and enjoy it all.

[Cuddles Cookie]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

It's such a great site, we learn something every day. Plus, there's often lots of fun here when things are going well with everyone for a while. You'll also find lots of friends here over the years so be sure to stay around and enjoy it all.

Thanks

[Verbena]

Originally Posted by kjc

Just an FYI... I am not judging you or your DH... I understand only because I've been in a similar situation myself (with the little angel you see to your left in my avatar, Bless his heart).

She didn't get where she is overnight, and it won't be fixed in a night. It may take months to turn her behavior around. With my Peek A Boo, we were in a downhill spiral, and it seemed like everyday he found something new to do just to piss me off.

He was sneaky, and the more I tried to correct him, the worse he got. I did a great deal of soul searching one weekend, and decided if corrections weren't working, I needed to change my plan. So I did the opposite and started praising him. He sat in my lap every night and not once in 8 months would he make eye contact with me. Every night I made a point to tell him I love you. You are a Good Boy. And I don't care what you do, you will always have a home here, I will never make you leave. After a few weeks, I decided he just wasn't going to bond with me, and choose to accept that, and accept him as he was. I did start giving him a kiss on his cheek. His response was to turn his head away from me. Fine, I was going to kiss him every night anyway. After 2 months, he turned away, I kissed his cheek, then he turned his head the other way...? What? You want a kiss on your other cheek? So I did. Still he wouldn't look at me, but he got his kisses every night.

After 8 months of this, one night I gave him his talk and his kisses (sometimes he would keep turning his head back and forth and till he got 4-5 kisses on each side, lol), then, out of the blue, he licked my cheek. I never expected that, I had given up in my heart of ever reaching him, and went into shock, tears streamed down my face, and I remember thinking, yeah, we're on our way.

And along the way, the bad behavior gradually dropped off, just as gradually as it built up. We became best buddies, and when he died in December, he took a huge chunk of my heart with him. His last day, I saw fear in his eyes and I grabbed him up in my arms, I knew it was his time, and I told him, I love you, it's okay, you're the best boy ever and I'll love you forever. Mommy loves you baby. You're such a Good Boy! And he took his last breath and died peacefully in my arms.

Just don't give up.

Oh you have tears rolling down my face. Sometimes the ones that make you work the most, truly make the biggest paw print on your heart . . .hugs

[pink66]

Originally Posted by Verbena

Sometimes the ones that make you work the most, truly make the biggest paw print on your heart . . .hugs

So true!

[lisaly]

Originally Posted by kjc

Just an FYI... I am not judging you or your DH... I understand only because I've been in a similar situation myself (with the little angel you see to your left in my avatar, Bless his heart).

She didn't get where she is overnight, and it won't be fixed in a night. It may take months to turn her behavior around. With my Peek A Boo, we were in a downhill spiral, and it seemed like everyday he found something new to do just to piss me off.

He was sneaky, and the more I tried to correct him, the worse he got. I did a great deal of soul searching one weekend, and decided if corrections weren't working, I needed to change my plan. So I did the opposite and started praising him. He sat in my lap every night and not once in 8 months would he make eye contact with me. Every night I made a point to tell him I love you. You are a Good Boy. And I don't care what you do, you will always have a home here, I will never make you leave. After a few weeks, I decided he just wasn't going to bond with me, and choose to accept that, and accept him as he was. I did start giving him a kiss on his cheek. His response was to turn his head away from me. Fine, I was going to kiss him every night anyway. After 2 months, he turned away, I kissed his cheek, then he turned his head the other way...? What? You want a kiss on your other cheek? So I did. Still he wouldn't look at me, but he got his kisses every night.

After 8 months of this, one night I gave him his talk and his kisses (sometimes he would keep turning his head back and forth and till he got 4-5 kisses on each side, lol), then, out of the blue, he licked my cheek. I never expected that, I had given up in my heart of ever reaching him, and went into shock, tears streamed down my face, and I remember thinking, yeah, we're on our way.

And along the way, the bad behavior gradually dropped off, just as gradually as it built up. We became best buddies, and when he died in December, he took a huge chunk of my heart with him. His last day, I saw fear in his eyes and I grabbed him up in my arms, I knew it was his time, and I told him, I love you, it's okay, you're the best boy ever and I'll love you forever. Mommy loves you baby. You're such a Good Boy! And he took his last breath and died peacefully in my arms.

Just don't give up.

I have always loved this story about Peek a Boo. I am a big believer in how love and positive reinforcement can make a huge difference in dogs and children. You created such a beautiful bond with Peek a Boo; I'm so glad he wound up with you and that you shared such a special love together.

[kjc]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

Kathy, that is the sweetest story, and one I will always remember. Smothering him with kindness won him over, and gave you two an amazing bond. What a wonderful way to handle a difficult situation, and what an amazing love and understanding you shared right up until the end. Peek was such a lucky boy to have you through thick and thin, and never give up.

Thanks Sandy.

Originally Posted by luvmybabyJax

OMG! This is the sweetest story and just what I needed to hear today!! My baby Jax has been on that downhill spiral and it seems it has gotten worse since his Neuter operation last Friday. I've cried more in the past 2 days thinking "he hates me, I just know it"! I am going to post about his changed behavior since his operation but I know one thing for sure. Just like my skin babies, my fur babies are my babies no matter what & I will love them all no matter what. Thanks to your story I now have more hope that the two of us will work this out. God Bless You! You have made a not so good day a much better day.

Aw, thanks. I really hope this helps.

Originally Posted by Kaylee32

Your story has really given me hope. Lilly Anne does find new ways to piss me off everyday and while I do try and praise her and love her, I am sure my frustrations show. I will continue trying for Lilly Anne until I know I have done all I can do and more. I do love my girls more than anything and I would do anything for them. I guess it is easy at times for my frustrations to outweigh everything else. I am hoping and praying I can do as great of a job as you did. I hope me and Lilly Anne can get to that very same change. Thank you so much for your story. You have really given me hope in a desperate situation.

I do hope my story will help you. Honestly, this was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I was to the point of returning him if things did not change, and I was never sure for those 8 months that he would change. Just the little improvements in his behavior every few days kept me trying. But that first kiss from him was so huge of a breakthrough, I knew for sure then that there definitely was a chance to save our relationship. I've had dogs all my life but never had one so distant, unreachable... never had to put any effort in it before, so it was all new territory for me. And he was so good at reading people's emotions, it was tremendously hard to fool him. I lied to him when our talks first started, and I'm sure he saw through it those first few days, but he did everything wrong! I made up stuff to praise him for, just so I could say good things to him. It got easier when I noticed him doing things right, I didn't have to lie as much. One night, I think I praised him for breathing air, lol. because at the same time, I had to make myself believable, and the more honest I could be, the more he could trust me. I had to force myself to smile... it's really hard to say nice things when you're frowning, and I was frowning a lot in the beginning. I also had to learn how to make myself relax, bc they pick up on it if you are tense when you're holding them. And it's so important to realize that it's only the behavior that makes one mad and upset. I knew there was a good dog inside trying to come out. There had to be, after all, he was a Yorkie!

[kjc]

Originally Posted by lisaly

I have always loved this story about Peek a Boo. I am a big believer in how love and positive reinforcement can make a huge difference in dogs and children. You created such a beautiful bond with Peek a Boo; I'm so glad he wound up with you and that you shared such a special love together.

Thanks Lisa.

[mama2ferghus]

I dont know if this helps but many years ago a friend of mine had an issue, her grandmother was going into a nursing home. She had two dogs, one everyone loved and was willing to care for and another named Brat ( cattle breed mix) that no one wanted. At the time I had two dogs a doxie (Jasper) and a cattle breed mix (Max) but had a large yard. I told her to bring Brat over and she could stay with me. She stayed for two months. She was awful, it took four people to give her a bath and she bit my son and I repeatedly. She was 8yo. Then our dog Max, passed away at age 12. Brat became even more awful digging her way out of our yard and running away, biting more and barking. I called my friend and told her time was up on the fostering. I could not do it especially while grieving for Max. She stated she would come and get her the next day. That night someone tried to break into my home while my son and I were present. Brat scared them off. I called my friend back and let her know that Brat was staying, from that night on I treated her like my dog rather than a temporary dog. Not that we had ever treated her bad but you try to keep distance if they arent yours. With love and attention she eventually and quickly became an incredible dog. She was 8 when she came to live with us and she is now 15. She has doggy dementia and it breaks my heart because I know that soon I will lose her. I just adopted my baby Ferghus and hope she can show him how to be a good dog.
However, my dad had a little dog that nothing worked on. I almost always adopt old dogs and "retire" them so I am good with dogs, and know how to rehabilitate them. His dog was something else. She could be nice but you just never knew when she would turn on you. After ten years of trying everything we could we had to put her down after she attacked me with no warning. Sometimes dogs need extra attention and work, sometimes they need a different home because they really arent a good fit but in another home they can do wonderfully. And sometimes they just "aint right", for whatever reason. Just like people.

[mugwee1]

Did you an your husband live together before you were married? Or did you each have your own place? sound's like something has changed and she is not happy about it.Was both dog's alway's in the picture. Did she get booted out of bed after you got married? I would go back an see when this started and see if you can resolve it. Some yorkies are not very forgiving, and if they are not happy they will let you know. Hoping thing's change for the better for you guy's. Hang in here and congrat's on your marriage.
Anne/Luci

[rubymoon2072]

Originally Posted by kjc

Just an FYI... I am not judging you or your DH... I understand only because I've been in a similar situation myself (with the little angel you see to your left in my avatar, Bless his heart).

She didn't get where she is overnight, and it won't be fixed in a night. It may take months to turn her behavior around. With my Peek A Boo, we were in a downhill spiral, and it seemed like everyday he found something new to do just to piss me off.

He was sneaky, and the more I tried to correct him, the worse he got. I did a great deal of soul searching one weekend, and decided if corrections weren't working, I needed to change my plan. So I did the opposite and started praising him. He sat in my lap every night and not once in 8 months would he make eye contact with me. Every night I made a point to tell him I love you. You are a Good Boy. And I don't care what you do, you will always have a home here, I will never make you leave. After a few weeks, I decided he just wasn't going to bond with me, and choose to accept that, and accept him as he was. I did start giving him a kiss on his cheek. His response was to turn his head away from me. Fine, I was going to kiss him every night anyway. After 2 months, he turned away, I kissed his cheek, then he turned his head the other way...? What? You want a kiss on your other cheek? So I did. Still he wouldn't look at me, but he got his kisses every night.

After 8 months of this, one night I gave him his talk and his kisses (sometimes he would keep turning his head back and forth and till he got 4-5 kisses on each side, lol), then, out of the blue, he licked my cheek. I never expected that, I had given up in my heart of ever reaching him, and went into shock, tears streamed down my face, and I remember thinking, yeah, we're on our way.

And along the way, the bad behavior gradually dropped off, just as gradually as it built up. We became best buddies, and when he died in December, he took a huge chunk of my heart with him. His last day, I saw fear in his eyes and I grabbed him up in my arms, I knew it was his time, and I told him, I love you, it's okay, you're the best boy ever and I'll love you forever. Mommy loves you baby. You're such a Good Boy! And he took his last breath and died peacefully in my arms.

Just don't give up.

Tears....in my eyes. Such a great way to turn your thinking around. I wish I had all this knowledge many many years ago. I am thankful to be a better pet owner today thanks to this forum and people like you. May Peek A Boo give you spirit licks often.