I am at my wits end!!!!!

[Ellie May]

The thought that she will be rehomed if she messes up anything in the new house alarms me. Same as similar posts from other members... If your husband has half the say and this type of talk is serious then she should be immediately turned over to rescue. This kind of stipulation, even if the dog can't understand it, is not fair.

As for peeing where she is not supposed, welcome to yorkie ownership. While I agree that most dogs are trainable I also know for a fact that not all yorkies will be 100% potty trained. Mine is 12 and she goes on herself/in kennel constantly. Always has. Her breeder kept her and sibs in a kennel with newspaper.

This sounds like stress/anxiety/fear/uncertainty. If she is to the point of hurting herself she needs drugs. One of my dogs takes Prozac. He is totally himself, but easier to manage. It makes him happier. Heck, he used to constantly pick at the carpet and eat pieces of blanket. It got so bad that when kenneled he couldn't have anything to lay on. Drugs are a very good thing if used while training.

[ColesMommy01]

Originally Posted by Ellie May

The thought that she will be rehomed if she messes up anything in the new house alarms me. Same as similar posts from other members...

I'm not sure if I was one of the members you were referring to when you stated you were "alarmed" that rehoming had become an option for one of our pets due to issues we were having with her. I know I may be in the minority here when I say this but....My child and husband take precedence over any pet that we may have. If a pet is causing issues and stress in our home we'll address it. If that doesn't work and we've tried all options then yes we will rehome . Not just for our benefit but for theirs as well. After all how happy are they if they are continually acting that way? Maybe if I wasn't married and my child was older I would do things differently, but I'm not and I won't cause unneeded strife in my household if I can help it. Not everyone handles situations exactly the same or sees things as we do as much as we may wish it. Just my opinion and wanted to explain why I would do things.

[MauiGirl]

Originally Posted by kjc

Just an FYI... I am not judging you or your DH... I understand only because I've been in a similar situation myself (with the little angel you see to your left in my avatar, Bless his heart).

She didn't get where she is overnight, and it won't be fixed in a night. It may take months to turn her behavior around. With my Peek A Boo, we were in a downhill spiral, and it seemed like everyday he found something new to do just to piss me off.

He was sneaky, and the more I tried to correct him, the worse he got. I did a great deal of soul searching one weekend, and decided if corrections weren't working, I needed to change my plan. So I did the opposite and started praising him. He sat in my lap every night and not once in 8 months would he make eye contact with me. Every night I made a point to tell him I love you. You are a Good Boy. And I don't care what you do, you will always have a home here, I will never make you leave. After a few weeks, I decided he just wasn't going to bond with me, and choose to accept that, and accept him as he was. I did start giving him a kiss on his cheek. His response was to turn his head away from me. Fine, I was going to kiss him every night anyway. After 2 months, he turned away, I kissed his cheek, then he turned his head the other way...? What? You want a kiss on your other cheek? So I did. Still he wouldn't look at me, but he got his kisses every night.

After 8 months of this, one night I gave him his talk and his kisses (sometimes he would keep turning his head back and forth and till he got 4-5 kisses on each side, lol), then, out of the blue, he licked my cheek. I never expected that, I had given up in my heart of ever reaching him, and went into shock, tears streamed down my face, and I remember thinking, yeah, we're on our way.

And along the way, the bad behavior gradually dropped off, just as gradually as it built up. We became best buddies, and when he died in December, he took a huge chunk of my heart with him. His last day, I saw fear in his eyes and I grabbed him up in my arms, I knew it was his time, and I told him, I love you, it's okay, you're the best boy ever and I'll love you forever. Mommy loves you baby. You're such a Good Boy! And he took his last breath and died peacefully in my arms.

Just don't give up.

Kathy, that is the sweetest story, and one I will always remember. Smothering him with kindness won him over, and gave you two an amazing bond. What a wonderful way to handle a difficult situation, and what an amazing love and understanding you shared right up until the end. Peek was such a lucky boy to have you through thick and thin, and never give up.

[luvmybabyJax]

Originally Posted by kjc

Just an FYI... I am not judging you or your DH... I understand only because I've been in a similar situation myself (with the little angel you see to your left in my avatar, Bless his heart).

She didn't get where she is overnight, and it won't be fixed in a night. It may take months to turn her behavior around. With my Peek A Boo, we were in a downhill spiral, and it seemed like everyday he found something new to do just to piss me off.

He was sneaky, and the more I tried to correct him, the worse he got. I did a great deal of soul searching one weekend, and decided if corrections weren't working, I needed to change my plan. So I did the opposite and started praising him. He sat in my lap every night and not once in 8 months would he make eye contact with me. Every night I made a point to tell him I love you. You are a Good Boy. And I don't care what you do, you will always have a home here, I will never make you leave. After a few weeks, I decided he just wasn't going to bond with me, and choose to accept that, and accept him as he was. I did start giving him a kiss on his cheek. His response was to turn his head away from me. Fine, I was going to kiss him every night anyway. After 2 months, he turned away, I kissed his cheek, then he turned his head the other way...? What? You want a kiss on your other cheek? So I did. Still he wouldn't look at me, but he got his kisses every night.

After 8 months of this, one night I gave him his talk and his kisses (sometimes he would keep turning his head back and forth and till he got 4-5 kisses on each side, lol), then, out of the blue, he licked my cheek. I never expected that, I had given up in my heart of ever reaching him, and went into shock, tears streamed down my face, and I remember thinking, yeah, we're on our way.

And along the way, the bad behavior gradually dropped off, just as gradually as it built up. We became best buddies, and when he died in December, he took a huge chunk of my heart with him. His last day, I saw fear in his eyes and I grabbed him up in my arms, I knew it was his time, and I told him, I love you, it's okay, you're the best boy ever and I'll love you forever. Mommy loves you baby. You're such a Good Boy! And he took his last breath and died peacefully in my arms.

Just don't give up.

OMG! This is the sweetest story and just what I needed to hear today!! My baby Jax has been on that downhill spiral and it seems it has gotten worse since his Neuter operation last Friday. I've cried more in the past 2 days thinking "he hates me, I just know it"! I am going to post about his changed behavior since his operation but I know one thing for sure. Just like my skin babies, my fur babies are my babies no matter what & I will love them all no matter what. Thanks to your story I now have more hope that the two of us will work this out. God Bless You! You have made a not so good day a much better day.

[yorkietalkjilly]

The dog needs rehabilitation, consisting of life enrichment games and puzzles(kong toys, puzzle games with hidden treats to learn to move for a hidden treat, etc., searching out hidden treats/toys about the house or yard with you pointing them out at first and lots of praise & celebration upon her finding them), a good course of home obedience training and lots of daily walking and real connection with you to make her life enjoyable and keep her busy learning and working toward a purpose will teach your baby how to control her impulses and her behavior. Keeping her obedience training very short - 5 mins. a day x2 daily with lots of treats and praise for getting it right and in no time your dog will begin to learn how to bring herself under control at your word and behave better. You can utterly reshape a dog's behavior by simply enriching its life and working with it to teach it what it needs to know.

A high-energy, bored terrier with little work, learning or fun in its life will look for things to keep the boredom at bay - like we do when we read a book or twirl a pencil or take a walk or go to the movies. Keeping a dog just a little busy for a while early on in its rehab period playing with it, tossing a ball and its squeaky toys and playing tugowar for 15 minutes, teaching obedience for 5 mins. x2 daily, having it working at a a series of 3 kong toys filled with kibble for 45 minutes to get its dinner rather than serving it in a bowl, and a 15 - 30 min. walk won't take a lot of your day and will totally bond your dog to you and completely remake its behavior - if, if, if you do it right and keep your interactions with the dog loving, patient, fun and upbeat. Taking the time to train a misbehaving, wild dog and reshape its behavior is the best time you will ever spend and the rewards are a thousandfold.

[theporkieyorkie]

I feel your frustration. My 10 year old has completely regressed with potty training. He's basically in a belly band 24/7 right now. He goes out pretty much every 1/2 hour to hour during the day and at least 2-3 times at night so I never get a good nights sleep and he still manages to pee in the house if his diaper is off for any amount of time. I've had him tested as well and nothing came up.

Here is how bad it's getting for me....I was at pet supplies plus today and found an ad on for a pet psychic. I am thinking of giving her a call and I am not even really a firm believer in all of that kind of stuff...but at this point, I am willing to take any help I can get!! LOL!! My carpet cleaner and washing machine is working overtime and I am sick of cleaning up pee.

We will be starting potty training 101 this spring. In my case, I feel like a lot of the regression came when my other dog started using potty pads indoors. When it gets warm enough, I want to do away with the potty pads and they will be going outside. In my case, I am in it for the long haul with my pup...till death do us part. I will keep a diaper on him if I have to and keep cleaning up pee but I really hope I can find a way to get him mostly potty trained.

The fact that your little girl destroys things, can't handle being crated and is pooing and peeing everywhere sounds to me like she has horrible anxiety. Have you talked to your doctor about putting her on medication?? Just like some humans need medication for chemical imbalances in their brains that cannot be helped otherwise, animals can have similar situations as well. It might be worth a try!!

She could also just be bored and under-stimulated...and like any little kid, she's acting out to get attention. Dogs typically destroy things out of boredom or stress. Does she just act out while you are gone, or is she pottying everywhere and destroying things while you guys are at home too??

Ceasar Milan, while not my most favorite trainer, is definitely onto something when he says that a dog needs a job. If your pup is bored, she's going to act out in unhealthy ways. You need to have healthy ways to relieve her boredom. She may require more exercise and more attention than your other yorkie. Obedience, Agility, barn hunts etc etc....puzzle toys and long walks all help to stimulate and tire out the brain and body so it's not working overtime...although I am really think it's more than just boredom. The fact that she'll harm herself in a cage to get out, along with the other behaviors really makes me think she's got some kind of chemical imbalance and/or extreme anxiety.

I know that some dogs will literally lick the hair off their paws and chew them bloody because they can't handle being in a cage. I also know that some dogs will smear poop and pee everywhere because of the anxiety...which isn't a normal behavior. Most dogs don't want to step in their filth...let alone smear it everywhere, so that right there, shows you how bad it can get.

If I were you, I would call my vet and emphasize how bad it has gotten and see what your vet says.

[kjc]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

The dog needs rehabilitation, consisting of life enrichment games and puzzles(kong toys, puzzle games with hidden treats to learn to move for a hidden treat, etc., searching out hidden treats/toys about the house or yard with you pointing them out at first and lots of praise & celebration upon her finding them), a good course of home obedience training and lots of daily walking and real connection with you to make her life enjoyable and keep her busy learning and working toward a purpose will teach your baby how to control her impulses and her behavior. Keeping her obedience training very short - 5 mins. a day x2 daily with lots of treats and praise for getting it right and in no time your dog will begin to learn how to bring herself under control at your word and behave better. You can utterly reshape a dog's behavior by simply enriching its life and working with it to teach it what it needs to know.

A high-energy, bored terrier with little work, learning or fun in its life will look for things to keep the boredom at bay - like we do when we read a book or twirl a pencil or take a walk or go to the movies. Keeping a dog just a little busy for a while early on in its rehab period playing with it, tossing a ball and its squeaky toys and playing tugowar for 15 minutes, teaching obedience for 5 mins. x2 daily, having it working at a a series of 3 kong toys filled with kibble for 45 minutes to get its dinner rather than serving it in a bowl, and a 15 - 30 min. walk won't take a lot of your day and will totally bond your dog to you and completely remake its behavior - if, if, if you do it right and keep your interactions with the dog loving, patient, fun and upbeat. Taking the time to train a misbehaving, wild dog and reshape its behavior is the best time you will ever spend and the rewards are a thousandfold.

Very good advice! And I wanted to clarify that I also did training and play during the day with Peek A Boo, but I really feel that our nighttime routine is what brought him back mentally. Never go to bed mad!

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by kjc

Very good advice! And I wanted to clarify that I also did training and play during the day with Peek A Boo, but I really feel that our nighttime routine is what brought him back mentally. Never go to bed mad!

No doubt! That was the "real connection" I was talking about. Unless we make that connection with our dogs, who want a close relationship with us as fellow pack members and their pack leader, they are always going to feel like outcasts in some way. Establishing a connection with that dog is a huge part of getting through to them and gaining their trust and love.

[kjc]

Originally Posted by theporkieyorkie

I feel your frustration. My 10 year old has completely regressed with potty training. He's basically in a belly band 24/7 right now. He goes out pretty much every 1/2 hour to hour during the day and at least 2-3 times at night so I never get a good nights sleep and he still manages to pee in the house if his diaper is off for any amount of time. I've had him tested as well and nothing came up.

Here is how bad it's getting for me....I was at pet supplies plus today and found an ad on for a pet psychic. I am thinking of giving her a call and I am not even really a firm believer in all of that kind of stuff...but at this point, I am willing to take any help I can get!! LOL!! My carpet cleaner and washing machine is working overtime and I am sick of cleaning up pee.

We will be starting potty training 101 this spring. In my case, I feel like a lot of the regression came when my other dog started using potty pads indoors. When it gets warm enough, I want to do away with the potty pads and they will be going outside. In my case, I am in it for the long haul with my pup...till death do us part. I will keep a diaper on him if I have to and keep cleaning up pee but I really hope I can find a way to get him mostly potty trained. ...

Assuming this is your first dog and you added a second (forgive my failing memory)... I would suggest giving him more attention. He may be marking because he feels left out... so to compensate he's leaving his mark all over to remind the newcomer that it's his house and don't forget it! Make him feel very special to you. Or more special... Extra lap time, first in, first out the door, first fed. etc.

[Cuddles Cookie]

Could you maybe consider a doggie door at your next house? If you have a house with a yard, training her to go through a doggie door might help her stop going to the bathroom in the house. It will give her the opportunity to go whenever she pleases.

[kjc]

Originally Posted by Cuddles Cookie

Could you maybe consider a doggie door at your next house? If you have a house with a yard, training her to go through a doggie door might help her stop going to the bathroom in the house. It will give her the opportunity to go whenever she pleases.

With all the pets being taken from their yards, attacks from wildlife (birds of prey, coyotes, etc), loose dogs, I would never use a doggy door.... JMHO.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Doggie Doors are dangerous for small dogs like Yorkies as they cannot be out alone without fear of a large predator bird like a hawk or owl or coyote or human getting them and making off with them. Large predators birds take small dogs with far greater frequency than I knew before I joined YT! We see reports of close calls or hear stories of past horrors where a small dog was taken here all too frequently. Small dogs like Yorkies can find the tiniest 3" hole between the gate and fence post and squeeze through it and be gone in a heartbeat! Even large cats can attack them if they enter your yard and no one is watching the dog. I saw a Boxer scale our neighbor's 5' fence and jump into their backyard as easily as it could have walked in the gate the other day so even large dogs can get into your yard and attack or injure or kill your dog if it's outside alone.

Also, small Yorkies cannot readily self-regulate their body temperature as easily as other dogs and they have no protective double coat so cold or hot weather are both very difficult on them and they chill or get heat exhaustion easily so the dog should be monitored at all times when outside. Also, creepy things can come in many of those doggie doors!!!!

[Cuddles Cookie]

I've never thought of that. My dogs used to have doggie doors. I had never had any troubles but I can see your concern over it. Sorry I had posted incorrect information. :P

[Kaylee32]

Originally Posted by Ellie May

The thought that she will be rehomed if she messes up anything in the new house alarms me. Same as similar posts from other members... If your husband has half the say and this type of talk is serious then she should be immediately turned over to rescue. This kind of stipulation, even if the dog can't understand it, is not fair.

As for peeing where she is not supposed, welcome to yorkie ownership. While I agree that most dogs are trainable I also know for a fact that not all yorkies will be 100% potty trained. Mine is 12 and she goes on herself/in kennel constantly. Always has. Her breeder kept her and sibs in a kennel with newspaper.

This sounds like stress/anxiety/fear/uncertainty. If she is to the point of hurting herself she needs drugs. One of my dogs takes Prozac. He is totally himself, but easier to manage. It makes him happier. Heck, he used to constantly pick at the carpet and eat pieces of blanket. It got so bad that when kenneled he couldn't have anything to lay on. Drugs are a very good thing if used while training.

It alarms me that you would just want me to turn her over to a rescue. And yes my husband does have some say to things whenever it comes to our house. I mean it is his house too. I never said the first thing I was going to do was just throw her out if she messed up something in the new house, my idea of rehoming her is that I have an aunt who is constantly home all the time because her husband has an out of town job and me and her had talked about the possibility of her going to live with her since she is home 24 7. If you would have read through other posts, honestly the last thing I am concerned with is her peeing everywhere and it has gone far beyond just peering. I would much rather clean up pee than patch up holes in the wall.

[Kaylee32]

Originally Posted by kjc

Just an FYI... I am not judging you or your DH... I understand only because I've been in a similar situation myself (with the little angel you see to your left in my avatar, Bless his heart).

She didn't get where she is overnight, and it won't be fixed in a night. It may take months to turn her behavior around. With my Peek A Boo, we were in a downhill spiral, and it seemed like everyday he found something new to do just to piss me off.

He was sneaky, and the more I tried to correct him, the worse he got. I did a great deal of soul searching one weekend, and decided if corrections weren't working, I needed to change my plan. So I did the opposite and started praising him. He sat in my lap every night and not once in 8 months would he make eye contact with me. Every night I made a point to tell him I love you. You are a Good Boy. And I don't care what you do, you will always have a home here, I will never make you leave. After a few weeks, I decided he just wasn't going to bond with me, and choose to accept that, and accept him as he was. I did start giving him a kiss on his cheek. His response was to turn his head away from me. Fine, I was going to kiss him every night anyway. After 2 months, he turned away, I kissed his cheek, then he turned his head the other way...? What? You want a kiss on your other cheek? So I did. Still he wouldn't look at me, but he got his kisses every night.

After 8 months of this, one night I gave him his talk and his kisses (sometimes he would keep turning his head back and forth and till he got 4-5 kisses on each side, lol), then, out of the blue, he licked my cheek. I never expected that, I had given up in my heart of ever reaching him, and went into shock, tears streamed down my face, and I remember thinking, yeah, we're on our way.

And along the way, the bad behavior gradually dropped off, just as gradually as it built up. We became best buddies, and when he died in December, he took a huge chunk of my heart with him. His last day, I saw fear in his eyes and I grabbed him up in my arms, I knew it was his time, and I told him, I love you, it's okay, you're the best boy ever and I'll love you forever. Mommy loves you baby. You're such a Good Boy! And he took his last breath and died peacefully in my arms.

Just don't give up.

Your story has really given me hope. Lilly Anne does find new ways to piss me off everyday and while I do try and praise her and love her, I am sure my frustrations show. I will continue trying for Lilly Anne until I know I have done all I can do and more. I do love my girls more than anything and I would do anything for them. I guess it is easy at times for my frustrations to outweigh everything else. I am hoping and praying I can do as great of a job as you did. I hope me and Lilly Anne can get to that very same change. Thank you so much for your story. You have really given me hope in a desperate situation.