delimma - kids and teacups..?

[Miababy1]

Hello all!

My name is Misty and I just recently got my sweet little yorkie pup, Mia. She is 3 months old and very energetic (just perfect)! I'm struggling with my family right now because I've set some rules for everyone to help follow with our new baby. Example, never leave her unattended outside, do not allow her to walk around the house without constant supervision as she is potty training and things need to stay consistant, she is not allowed to be upstairs at all, and the youngest (who is 6 and very rough and careless) is not to carry her around the house, but he can hold her sitting down and play with her as much as he would like. She is only 1 pound and 8 ounces and I'm terrified if he drops her on my hardwood, or the rock patio it could cause real injury or even death. I never saw this coming but, my husband lets him go against this rule anytime I am not around. I had a long talk with my husband and this kid and explained why I have this rule and I need him to follow it always...but he (the kid) is constantly trying to get away with all that he can. Just the other day after I had this long talk with him, I witnessed him lift her over his head with one hand (like she was an airplane) and landed her on my patio table, where he then released her. My husband was standing right beside him with his back turned. I rushed outside, picked her up and told him he was not to hold her the rest of the night and "again" explained why!!! My husband defended him with some stupid excuse, but I know this kid knows exactly what he is doing. The very next night, he started off doing well and minding, but as the night went on, he did the same airplane move again while sitting down over my hardwoods. What do I do about this? I have anxiety when I am forced to leave her there with him. I know that I will relax as she gets bigger, but right now she is just so fragile.

[mom2two]

Hi,I have twin 8 yr olds very active etc so I know what your saying... I actually chose the two pups who were bigger than their sister for this reason. I think the best solution is to have a crate where you can make her comfy with toys etc while your gone. put a lock on it and keep her there till you come back....she will be safe and there will be no anxiety and no "Im sorrys" when you come back

[chachi]

Originally Posted by mom2two

Hi,I have twin 8 yr olds very active etc so I know what your saying... I actually chose the two pups who were bigger than their sister for this reason. I think the best solution is to have a crate where you can make her comfy with toys etc while your gone. put a lock on it and keep her there till you come back....she will be safe and there will be no anxiety and no "Im sorrys" when you come back

Good suggestion!! You definitely need to do this because it is an accident waiting to happen.

[KazzyK810]

As two "airplane" maneuvers were attempted while you were there, crating while your gone may minimize the opportunity for injury, but obviously won't remove it completely.

I note you call him "the kid" and not your son. Is this an issue of not being able to discipline your husband's kid? Not meaning to be intrusive, but I just can't imagine having told my child once, that they would do it again. They grew up knowing full well, that if they mistreated something highly valued by me that NOTHING they valued would be left in my home! (and they knew my threats weren't empty & would be followed through...) Sounds like you need to have a serious discussion with your husband regarding enforcement of rules & expectations for appropriate behaviour. In the meantime, that pup would be going everywhere with me and checked into doggy daycare if occasions didn't allow it.

[myteddybear]

I agree with crating her when you are not there to supervise. When I got my first Yorkie my kids were very young. He was not allowed out of the kitchen without ME. Period. The small kids were not allowed in unless with ME and sitting only. They have never been allowed to pick them up and my now youngest at 7 to this day has never picked up my Yorkie from the ground. If he wants to hold her he sits on the ground and she can get on his lap IF she wants to. I put it to my husband simply (he never went against me though)...I will not have vet bills (men hear this! LOL) because the kids were careless. I put it to my children like this (yes, even very young children) You may not ever pick her up because if you drop her you could KILL her. They even at very young ages were very worried about what could happen and have never even tried to pick them up. My children who are older now of course pick her up when they want but they are teenagers and know how to be respectful of a tiny dog.

Be blunt and if that doesn't work keep her away from them.

[yorkietalkjilly]

To be perfectly safe and fair to the dog, I don't think I would ever want to have a tiny Yorkie around small children as you cannot watch them 100% of the time and the chances for injury are too great to take a chance. Since you have that situation all that you can do is make a solemn promise to yourself that you can never take your eyes off the dog when a young child is around it and hope that you can stick to that. You can explain to the children about how fragile the little baby animal is but I would not really expect or rely on them to comprehend/understand/remember that as to do so would be unfair to a little child. All that you can do is keep them apart unless you can have eyes on the situation. Little children just do not have the judgment or recall to be 100% safe around tiny animals in most situations from my past experience though I know some do get by without injury. Then again - some don't, so I would not risk putting the little dog's health at risk around a little child who just can't be risk-free at all times. When my son was small, he was the most gentle little child ever around dogs and still I would never have left him unmonitored by me to have played around a small dog like a Yorkie.

[Miababy1]

Thanks! These are great suggestions I take miss mia with me everywhere I go including to work with me when I can. I cannot believe how much I love this little girl. I am going to replace my bedroom door with one that I can lock/unlock with a key so that I can leave her safe in her crate where my step son cannot have access to her... point blank. That will keep me worry free from him moving her crate around even if he can't get her out (not sure that he would but he's been known to do some weird stuff).

I called him "the kid" because he has been giving me greif lately (the past 4.5 years)when it comes to minding. I do love him and wish I could figure something out to help our relationship (trust me, I've tried) but he sure is the most difficult child I've been around. He is not my husbands son biologically but he knows no other dad. Therefore, disciplining is something I do, but then my husband and I fight about it. I don't have this problem with our other 3 children (2 are his and 1 is mine, they are all teenagers). I talked it over with my hsuband about how fragile this puppy would be if we got her and that I needed him to help keep her safe and he seemed on board, so I didn't think this would be the issue that it is now ;( Kids are kids and they need correction, but I think my hsuband feels sorry for the youngest because he is so difficult. Not sure, but I feel like he is making matters worse. We've discussed the childs behavior numerous times but it always ends in a deffensive argument (my husband always has to be right..ugh). But not this time, not when it comes to my baby girls safety!!! Thank you everyone for the suggestions!

[yorkietalkjilly]

I definitely wish you the best in keeping your poochie and your family safe and happy. Lots of pieces to juggle in this life, aren't there!!! All the best to you and your sweet kiddos and pups! Oh, and hubby, too! Can't let him be an afterthought!

[backwardsrain]

I don't think a very small Yorkie would really be safe even around careful children, simply because children don't have very good coordination. They can drop or step on a small dog by accident, even if they are careful, well-behaved kids. If your stepson is deliberately doing dangerous things with the dog, the problem is even worse. Is there a room in the house that your stepson doesn't have access to, like your bedroom? Or can you lock the door? Or like someone else said, get a crate (maybe a very large one, so it's more like a playpen, if you want) and lock that. Although if you want my opinion, I think you need family counseling so you and your husband can agree on child-raising techniques...you've got 12 more years of raising kids, after all.

[Valenie]

My son is 3 years old and he knows he is not allowed to hold, pick up, or do anything with Bella (2.6lbs) unless mommy is right there. He only picked her up twice without asking and both times he got a good long time out! If you work with them and show them they are going get in trouble and follow through every time they will learn to listen . I hope this helps

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by backwardsrain

I don't think a very small Yorkie would really be safe even around careful children, simply because children don't have very good coordination. They can drop or step on a small dog by accident, even if they are careful, well-behaved kids. If your stepson is deliberately doing dangerous things with the dog, the problem is even worse. Is there a room in the house that your stepson doesn't have access to, like your bedroom? Or can you lock the door? Or like someone else said, get a crate (maybe a very large one, so it's more like a playpen, if you want) and lock that. Although if you want my opinion, I think you need family counseling so you and your husband can agree on child-raising techniques...you've got 12 more years of raising kids, after all.

[HeathenFaerie]

Originally Posted by backwardsrain

I don't think a very small Yorkie would really be safe even around careful children, simply because children don't have very good coordination. They can drop or step on a small dog by accident, even if they are careful, well-behaved kids. If your stepson is deliberately doing dangerous things with the dog, the problem is even worse. Is there a room in the house that your stepson doesn't have access to, like your bedroom? Or can you lock the door? Or like someone else said, get a crate (maybe a very large one, so it's more like a playpen, if you want) and lock that. Although if you want my opinion, I think you need family counseling so you and your husband can agree on child-raising techniques...you've got 12 more years of raising kids, after all.

I think any Human being can drop or step on a small animal on accident. I have two girls that are four and six and are very gentle with my yorkie Jenks (Granted he is 7lbs) But to say a Yorkie could never be safe around small kids imo is wrong people have accidents not just children. If a child is deliberately dangerous and a spouse is purposely ignoring it their are bigger issues that need to be dealt with. Once the child's bigger issues are dealt with the smaller issue tend to resolve themselves. I agree with crating or locking a room to keep the child away from the dog though.

On a side note to the OP I like the mystery envelope for my girls...

Make a behavior or chore chart
then get some envelopes and put small prizes
even simple stuff like movie and popcorn time alone with mom and dad or going out for ice cream or some cool stickers or fake tattoos.
If the child can follow the chart we started them out on a daily chart at two but they are on a weekly chart now with bigger prizes and more time alone with mom dad or both/ Sometimes the prize is simply choosing what we make for dinner that night or getting to put on some of my perfume before bed after their bath.

Maybe to talk to your schools guidance counselor about sending suggestions home for how you can work with your child then show the notes to dad? Or as suggested above family counseling to find out why the child is acting out and ways you and your spouse can present a united front and come to some agreement on how to handle the issues?

[gracielove]

It is so important to teach young children to show respect to all animals. Studies show that children who mistreat animals grow up to be abusive to humans as well. It sounds like you are having discipline problems with this child without the dog involved. It's an issue that will only get worse if you and your husband do not work it out now. This child knows he does not have to respect you or your authority over him and his father is supporting that attitude.
Personally, I think it is unfair to the dog to make it stay in a crate in order to protect it from the child but I guess you have to do something to protect the puppy. I would put a leash on her and keep the leash attached to you at all times. That way you can be sure to be on top of the potty training and also keep the puppy safe from a child that cannot be trusted. This is a sad but serious situation for both you and the puppy. Please don't leave her unattended for a second. Only let the child play with the puppy when you are right there with him.

[roseslevi]

It is very important for your husband to support your rules with your stepson, or he will never listen to you. I have two stepson's so I can speak from experience. Now... I always had chores that my son and stepson's could help me with when it came to the dogs. Feeding, brushing etc. As long as the kids obeyed the "no picking up" rule then they were allowed to "help" me with the dogs. When I was not home, the kids were not allowed to interact with the dogs...period. That way I could always make sure they were safe. My kids are now older, the two older "stepsons" both have dogs of their own. My son still is at home, he is my "dog sitter" when I am out of town. It can be done...time and consistency work wonders.

[heartmyyorkie]

Maybe your step son is doing it for attention. Kids usually act out, even in a negative way when they want attention. He may feel jealous of the puppy. I would try to set aside some with just him, such as reading a book together or whatever. Maybe to help him feel a part of the puppies life without putting her in danger you can give him little things to do such as helping you put her food in her bowl, or get her some water, or give her a treat...all with your constant supervision of course. My 6 year old looooves to give Pita a treat when I say it's ok or get her a chew. Most likely he is defying you with the 'airplane' move because he is feels like he's competing for your attention no matter what the consequence may be.