Should I have skin kids or NOT? - Page 3 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

katienme2002 · 09-10-2010, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nana911

there is a vast difference between "i wish i didn't have them" and "i wouldn't do it again". I don't ever for a minute wish i didn't have them. I wouldn't take all the money in the world for them. But they both know i wouldn't do it again. It doesn't mean anything to them other than i'm honest. It's no different than the fact that i was on the pill when i conceived my daughter. Does telling her that, and obviously saying she wasn't planned mean i love her less? Ridiculous.

Both my kids are in their mid thirties. Neither are in jail, on drugs or have ever been in trouble. My daughter followed me into law enforcement, has been since she was 18yo. I am extremely proud of her. She also now is a partner of her own business on the side. My son brought to me a daughter in law that i absolutely adore and two granddaughters that are jewels.

So, no. To say that a sentiment like this make kids turn out badly is a blanket statement that doesn't necessarily apply.

I never ever would say "i wish i hadn't".....but..i wouldn't do it again.

very well said!!!

mkbartz · 09-10-2010, 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misslissa

I knew i would not be having kids until i was 30. then my grandma had a heart attack and was unable to care for my brother 10 and my sister 16 so overnight (kinda) i became a parent i sooo was not ready but i am rewarded everyday with compliments of how well behaved they are and how nicely they are dressed i love it and i would not give it up in a million years in fact having the kids makes me feel ready to have my own.(in 10 years when my brother is 20 so ill be 30 so guess the plan did not change so much but my feelings did)

I am in the same boat. I am the 2nd oldest of 10 kids. There have been some family problems so I have had some of the kids live with my husband I on and off over the past three years. I am 27 and my husband is the 33. I am in the process of applying to law school so I always new that I wouldn't have a child until is was in my mid 30's. But I am pretty sure that we are going to only have one child (and a live-in nanny). I love kids, but I feel like have already done the parenting thing. . .

mkbartz · 09-10-2010, 07:26 AM

LOL I feel that I need to have one child because I desperately want grandchildren!!

katienme2002 · 09-10-2010, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mkbartz

LOL I feel that I need to have one child because I desperately want grandchildren!!

Yes, grandchildren! LOL...I want to have grandchildren because I want to spoil them to pieces and send them back to their mom (my daughter)..aka payback..lol..Just kidding, but it will be funny. My mom lives for spoiling my daughter to torment me for the years of "fun" she had with me and my sister..lol..

edwardsmom · 09-10-2010, 09:41 AM

I think more then anything my fiance wants another child with me b/c he wants to go through the baby thing again but for us it wouldnt neccesarily make or break our relationship b/c i have been honest that to him and told him that Im not sure if i want kids or not. And he has said to me that it is completely my decision, he would like to have a child with me but he wont leave me for it b/c he has children so it wont be like im preventing him from experiencing the feeling of being father.Also I really dont mind the fact that he had children b/c to me they are great but being that im not the actual parent and younger they confide in me more so it gives me a glimpse as to what I could possibly be dealing with myself and not knowing about it. Specially since no matter how trust and openess u have with them there will always be things that they will not tell u. And I dont feel like wanting a break from ur kids is that childish I am sure that there have to be a lot of parents that sometimes no matter how much they love their kids sometimes become overwhelmed with all that it entails, and feel that they need a break that will not come entirely until they are grown and on their own. And also when i asked the question wether I should or not I dont mean right now just whenever I do decide it might be a good time. Right now I am not in a position where i think i would be able to give a child all of my best.

Whenever i decide if i decide to do it i would like to be prepared in the sense that I will be offering my child the best example of what a woman is supposed to be like as well as a mother. This is the reason i give it sooo much thought b/c I know its a tough job and i would like to be the best mother i can be the same way i try to be the best furbutt mother i can be. And I dont mean that if my child is not what I expected I would love him/her less its just so much harder on the parents sometimes more then ur actual child b/c U hurt soo much for them that it is inevitable to worry for them until the day YOU die so even when the initial task of raising them is done they will always have that spot in ur brain and heart that will never let u not worry or think about them so more then it just being about any inconvenience on my life or them not turning out right its the seize of your heart and mind that will never let u go.

edwardsmom · 09-10-2010, 09:44 AM

One more thing I forgot another major reason is that I am very scared of the actual procedure when I have to give birth! Very very very scared!

Marilize · 09-10-2010, 10:24 AM

Edwardsmom, there is a very good reason why those kids aren't telling their dad all those things. They don't want to hurt him. Kids makes mistakes. A lot of them. But that's how they learn. They don't want to hurt or disappoint him.

That's completely natural. For example, I am extremely close with my mother and have been for most of my life. We know many secrets about each other, but there are certain things that I never want her to know. Not because I'm a bad person, but because our frames of reference differ! We feel differently about certain things because we were raised in different worlds.

And the question of whether they will turn into screw-ups or not, we were all screw-ups at some point in our lives. And thankfully, most of our parents were there for us through it all.

I am 24 years old and one of four children. My older brother had ADHD, my sister had special needs and on top of all that, my dad is a doctor with his own practice, so he was never there to help out.
I always knew that I wanted children, but I certainly don't want four. For the simple reason that I feel we didn't get enough individual attention. I don't blame them remotely and I completely understand, so I don't want to do it.
In August this year, I started my dream job and broke up with my bf. So besides knowing that I want to have children, there is still the world of time and I'll only get more yorkies until then. But I think it would be awesome to be a mom.

nana911 · 09-10-2010, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by edwardsmom

One more thing I forgot another major reason is that I am very scared of the actual procedure when I have to give birth! Very very very scared!

Hon, that is a cake walk... seriously. I'd rather give birth than have a all bladder attack or an ear ache, both of which are a continuous relentless pain with no end. Labor and childbirth..god built in pauses where you can catch your breath. That makes all the difference in the world. If it were that bad, women wouldn't do it over and over and over. (Not that it is so easy a man would do it..)

This you must remember on the subject of kids.. you said that you don't get to take a break until the kids are older and on their own. That is wrong. From the time they are born until you or they die, hopefully you first. THERE IS NO BREAK!!!! You worry about the baby stuff, the school stuff, they learn to drive, get them through that and the drugs and the wrong crowds, and please god don't let them fall for the wrong person or a stranger hurt them, please don't let their heart get broken by someone who cares for them less than you. And their hearts will get broken and your heart will hurt every bit as much as theirs does. They will either marry and you'll spend everyday praying that their marriage is good and happy and dreading for the day the divorce shoe may drop or they will not find the right person and be lonely even though they are successful in every other aspect of their life and your heart hurts for them in that way just as it did when they were 6 and someone called them a bad name and they cried. Doesn't matter if they are 6 or 60 THERE IS NO BREAK!!!

We had a drunk one night that parked his car and passed out behind the wheel in a auto dealer's lot, figured we wouldn't see him in there. We didn't arrest him, but called his father to come get him. He was 67. His dad came and got him, he was about 89years old. THERE IS NO BREAK!!!

So, don't think for a minute that you raise them for 18-20 years and you are done and walk away. yeah, labor is nuthin'

09-10-2010, 09:41 AM	#35
edwardsmom Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: stroudsburg Posts: 67	I think more then anything my fiance wants another child with me b/c he wants to go through the baby thing again but for us it wouldnt neccesarily make or break our relationship b/c i have been honest that to him and told him that Im not sure if i want kids or not. And he has said to me that it is completely my decision, he would like to have a child with me but he wont leave me for it b/c he has children so it wont be like im preventing him from experiencing the feeling of being father.Also I really dont mind the fact that he had children b/c to me they are great but being that im not the actual parent and younger they confide in me more so it gives me a glimpse as to what I could possibly be dealing with myself and not knowing about it. Specially since no matter how trust and openess u have with them there will always be things that they will not tell u. And I dont feel like wanting a break from ur kids is that childish I am sure that there have to be a lot of parents that sometimes no matter how much they love their kids sometimes become overwhelmed with all that it entails, and feel that they need a break that will not come entirely until they are grown and on their own. And also when i asked the question wether I should or not I dont mean right now just whenever I do decide it might be a good time. Right now I am not in a position where i think i would be able to give a child all of my best. Whenever i decide if i decide to do it i would like to be prepared in the sense that I will be offering my child the best example of what a woman is supposed to be like as well as a mother. This is the reason i give it sooo much thought b/c I know its a tough job and i would like to be the best mother i can be the same way i try to be the best furbutt mother i can be. And I dont mean that if my child is not what I expected I would love him/her less its just so much harder on the parents sometimes more then ur actual child b/c U hurt soo much for them that it is inevitable to worry for them until the day YOU die so even when the initial task of raising them is done they will always have that spot in ur brain and heart that will never let u not worry or think about them so more then it just being about any inconvenience on my life or them not turning out right its the seize of your heart and mind that will never let u go. __________________ Edward and Mom

09-10-2010, 09:44 AM	#36
edwardsmom Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: stroudsburg Posts: 67	One more thing I forgot another major reason is that I am very scared of the actual procedure when I have to give birth! Very very very scared! __________________ Edward and Mom

09-10-2010, 10:24 AM	#37
Marilize YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Cape town, South Africa Posts: 703	Edwardsmom, there is a very good reason why those kids aren't telling their dad all those things. They don't want to hurt him. Kids makes mistakes. A lot of them. But that's how they learn. They don't want to hurt or disappoint him. That's completely natural. For example, I am extremely close with my mother and have been for most of my life. We know many secrets about each other, but there are certain things that I never want her to know. Not because I'm a bad person, but because our frames of reference differ! We feel differently about certain things because we were raised in different worlds. And the question of whether they will turn into screw-ups or not, we were all screw-ups at some point in our lives. And thankfully, most of our parents were there for us through it all. I am 24 years old and one of four children. My older brother had ADHD, my sister had special needs and on top of all that, my dad is a doctor with his own practice, so he was never there to help out. I always knew that I wanted children, but I certainly don't want four. For the simple reason that I feel we didn't get enough individual attention. I don't blame them remotely and I completely understand, so I don't want to do it. In August this year, I started my dream job and broke up with my bf. So besides knowing that I want to have children, there is still the world of time and I'll only get more yorkies until then. But I think it would be awesome to be a mom. __________________ Cash & Orio RIP Beautiful Joni Last edited by Marilize; 09-10-2010 at 10:26 AM.

09-10-2010, 07:26 AM	#33
mkbartz YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: London, Ontario, canada Posts: 518	LOL I feel that I need to have one child because I desperately want grandchildren!!