Should I have skin kids or NOT?

[misslissa]

I knew i would not be having kids until i was 30. then my grandma had a heart attack and was unable to care for my brother 10 and my sister 16 so overnight (kinda) i became a parent i sooo was not ready but i am rewarded everyday with compliments of how well behaved they are and how nicely they are dressed i love it and i would not give it up in a million years in fact having the kids makes me feel ready to have my own.(in 10 years when my brother is 20 so ill be 30 so guess the plan did not change so much but my feelings did)

[bribunny]

Originally Posted by misslissa

I knew i would not be having kids until i was 30. then my grandma had a heart attack and was unable to care for my brother 10 and my sister 16 so overnight (kinda) i became a parent i sooo was not ready but i am rewarded everyday with compliments of how well behaved they are and how nicely they are dressed i love it and i would not give it up in a million years in fact having the kids makes me feel ready to have my own.(in 10 years when my brother is 20 so ill be 30 so guess the plan did not change so much but my feelings did)

Oh bless your heart! I know your sister and brother are very thankful! And it's always great to receive compliments on your kids! You're right though, feelings do change and things you once see as hard become easy and vice versa!! I thought labor would be hard, BOY was I wrong! I actually think my kids bother me sometimes more than the labor part! HA!

[alisonJ]

I NEVER had kids, and I NEVER regretted it. Most of my friends had kids, and I can't even guess how many told me they envied my decision.

I have a full life, lots of friends, a husband I adore, and TIME to do the things I like to do including travel, going to the gym, playing music, reading, and working at a job I love.

Please don't think I hate kids. I simply understood, while I was in my child-bearing years, that having children was a huge responsibility not to be taken lightly. In my opinion, more people should make the decision I made.

[edwardsmom]

Misslissa I completely understand how that could feel and u should be very proud of yourself, for both taking care of ur siblings but also for knowing exactly what you want already!

AlisonJ I have a feeling thats how my life might turn out simply b/c their are sooooo many children in my life I have 2 sisters and three brothers and four have children plus my 2 godchildren and my fiances kids i have kids to last me awhile plus my favorite one which is my furbut Edward....

[katienme2002]

I agree, this is a very personal decision, but I do have 1 yorkie and 1 skin child, who is 8 years old. I love them both dearly and wouldnt trade either of them for anything in the world. But to ask would I do it again? Not sure I would. Thats not saying I dont love my child dearly, but its a lot of work, and you really have to be prepared for anything , money wise or healthwise. On the other hand, would I get another yorkie? Probably so..loll....Does that make me a bad person? I sure hope not, just being honest.lol..I am 30 and have been married for 9 years, if that helps you at all...

[zoedo]

I love my furbaby but she could never take the place of my kids. I have 3 kids and 7 grandkids and wouldn't trade a single one for anything. But it's a decision each person has to make on their own. I hope whatever path you choose that you will be happy!

[zoedo]

Katienme...I hadn't read the posts beforehand..just replied. Didn't know till after I hit send that I made the same comment as you. Not copying...just a shared sentiment. LOL

[Rachael1983]

From your post, your'e still pretty young, have time to decide and right now it seems it's not in your heart to have them. That could change in say 6 years.

For me I wouldn't change having a daughter for the world. I was 19 when she came along. A surprise pregancy and I had to grow up awfully fast. At the time many of my friends weren't parents or married. I was in a committed lt relationship and had a kid (culture shock). But now most of my friends are married and starting to have kids. My daughter is 7 now and we have a yorkie and manage our time, family time, school, etc just fine. I'm single now and would like to have at least one more, but that doesn't deter me from my love of animals.

Goodluck in your decisions.

[yorkie_mama22]

Originally Posted by edwardsmom

Misslissa I completely understand how that could feel and u should be very proud of yourself, for both taking care of ur siblings but also for knowing exactly what you want already!

AlisonJ I have a feeling thats how my life might turn out simply b/c their are sooooo many children in my life I have 2 sisters and three brothers and four have children plus my 2 godchildren and my fiances kids i have kids to last me awhile plus my favorite one which is my furbut Edward....

Reading the posts you wrote I feel that you are not mature enough for children. I am 24 too and I understand some of the concerns but if one of your concerns is not being able to "shove them up " when you need a break, that is very childish in my opinion and not someone who is ready to have children. You are right, you have step children but just remember because they aren't "your" children it doesn't make it much different. They will grow up and could end up bad, good or whatever your scared of. The reality is you got with a man who had children so there really isn't a way around it. If you didn't want children you should of got with someone who had the same values. If your fiance is asking to have children you need to sit and talk to him, it is very tough if one wants children and one doesn't. It could make or break your relationship.

As I mentioned I am 24 years old and I've been with my husband since I was 17 he was 19. He had a son from a previous relationship and was only a couple months old when we got together. Me being young and dumb didn't "think" about what I was getting myself into. Now I LOVE my husband and most days I am happy with him but in reality if I had to go back in time, I don't think I would of wanted to date a guy with a child. But that is a whole other story since my husbands ex is a train wreck. Now at 19 my husband had mentioned children, we weren't ready and weren't careful and right before my 20th birthday I had my daughter. That made me grow up ALOT! I knew I always wanted kids one day though and even if my daughter grows up and doesn't meet my expections that is YOUR CHILD, your baby and I would never ever regret having her. I really don't see how a parent can say that? That may be the type of parent who shouldn't of had kids. I'm still young but I feel I'm pretty mature for my age. I do plan on having at least one more child hopefully in the next year or two. I also have three dogs, a parrot and a snake. I make time for all of them, and we are a big happy family most of the time. If you follow your heart, you can make anything happen. You don't need to be rich, live in a luxury home or know what the future holds for you and your family. You need to have faith that God will never give you more then you can handle. I wake up each morning and I am so happy to see my daughters face and know that I made her and I will shape and mold her the best I can and pray that she will become a protective and reasonable person.

[shodanusmc]

Not everyone is meant to have kids. Both kids and dogs can bring the greatest of Joy, but losing one will cause the greatest of pain. Just enjoy your life. In your gut, you will someday know if you want kids.

[Arzel36]

Thats a decision that you will have 2 make on your own.

[katienme2002]

Originally Posted by zoedo

Katienme...I hadn't read the posts beforehand..just replied. Didn't know till after I hit send that I made the same comment as you. Not copying...just a shared sentiment. LOL

hey, no problem! Great minds think alike! LOL..

[Britster]

Originally Posted by yorkie_mama22

Now at 19 my husband had mentioned children, we weren't ready and weren't careful and right before my 20th birthday I had my daughter. That made me grow up ALOT! I knew I always wanted kids one day though and even if my daughter grows up and doesn't meet my expections that is YOUR CHILD, your baby and I would never ever regret having her. I really don't see how a parent can say that? That may be the type of parent who shouldn't of had kids.

I was wondering that myself!? I can't even imagine most normal parents actually stating to friends 'I wish I didn't have my kids!' That is terrible!

[yorkie_mama22]

Originally Posted by Britster

I was wondering that myself!? I can't even imagine most normal parents actually stating to friends 'I wish I didn't have my kids!' That is terrible!

I know. I don't think it makes you a bad person but maybe a person who shouldn't of had children. I know kids grow up, get into trouble, make stupid choices, end up in jail or whatever they may do that you do not approve of. But that is still YOUR CHILD. All you can do is hope and pray that they will grow up and learn from their mistakes one day, but to say that if you had to do it again you wouldn't of had them. Well maybe thats why they are the way they are? They may feel or sense that feeling you have towards them.

I didn't have my daughter at a great time in my life but it could of been so much worse. She is my pride and joy and yes sometimes I get really frustrated and wish I didn't have responsiblities but thats MY child, my flesh and blood and I'll love her for ever no matter what and be there for her always even if she is messing up I'll do what I can to help her realize the right path.

[nana911]

There is a vast difference between "I wish I didn't have them" and "I wouldn't do it again". I don't ever for a minute wish I didn't have them. I wouldn't take all the money in the world for them. But they both know I wouldn't do it again. It doesn't mean anything to them other than I'm honest. It's no different than the fact that I was on the pill when I conceived my daughter. Does telling her that, and obviously saying she wasn't planned mean I love her less? Ridiculous.

Both my kids are in their mid thirties. Neither are in jail, on drugs or have ever been in trouble. My daughter followed me into law enforcement, has been since she was 18yo. I am extremely proud of her. She also now is a partner of her own business on the side. My son brought to me a daughter in law that I absolutely adore and two granddaughters that are jewels.

So, no. To say that a sentiment like this make kids turn out badly is a blanket statement that doesn't necessarily apply.

I never ever would say "I wish I hadn't".....But..I wouldn't do it again.