Omg please can you help me!!!!

[Rhetts_mama]

This sounds like one depressed doggie begging for a little bit of affection. If you and your boyfriend refuse to let him come up to you, then YOU need to go down to him. It's not at all fair to him for you to withdraw your affection because of someone else coming in to your relationship.

Find other ways of spending time with him. Walking, playing games, agility training. Anything where he has your undivided attention and his little furbutt gets worn out.

[Connie]

Originally Posted by aljopamic

If I am reading correctly, it was OK with you if Bailey came on the furniture etc. before the BF. As a Mom of both yorkies and children, if my daughter came to me with this problem, I would be asking her why she is letting the BF change the rules. Your Bailey will always give you unconditional love until the day he goes to the Rainbow Bridge.....can you say the same for the BF.

I hope this didn't come across as being harsh but it would be the advice I would give my own daughter. I feel very badly for Bailey....his whole world changed.

My thoughts exactly!

[christiers]

Originally Posted by lrichardsonrnc

I'd be tellin that boyfriend "If you don't like my peaches, then don't shake my tree"!

I replied earlier before reading through the entire thread.....OH MY GOODNESS, LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!

[QuickSilver]

I read the original post differently. I think this is what she said:


- Her bf moved in last September (10 months ago). The bf brought in his dog, and the rules changed about being on furniture and sleeping in the bed. Bailey was fine.

- They got a cat in December (7 months ago). Bailey loves the cat.

- 2 months ago, Bailey started getting very clingy.


So I don't think it's the rule change... to the OP, I would look for other possible changes. Maybe you're right that it's the heater. Possibly he's cold??

Some other thoughts:

- while it's great to walk with your dog, it's not necessarily the best way to really tire your dog out. I'd suggest playing 15-30 minutes of fetch with him per day, indoors or out, and see if that helps.

- Is he possibly developing separation anxiety? Do you ever leave him alone by himself? How does he react?

- I would say it's okay to ignore the whining, but if you're going to do that, you have to COMMIT. If you have been letting him whine for ~ten minutes, and then picking him up, you've taught him he needs to whine for at least ten minutes to get your attention.

- If you do give him a "time out", can he see you / hear you? It can be very frustrating / anxiety provoking for a dog to see something he wants and not be able to reach it. I'd recommend a timeout in a distant part of the house if possible, or at least throw a blanket over the baby gate so he can't see you.

- Try giving him chews and see if it can pull focus off of you. You can also try training / spending more quality time with you in general. Can you sit on the floor so he can sit on your lap?

- There's a difference between a dog whining for a few minutes or even an hour, and a dog crying all night. If he is truly distressed, ignoring him won't help. You should keep thinking about what may have changed for him, and try different techniques.


Good luck!

[nana911]

hmmm, I thought that Andreas is the BF. I didn't see where he brought a dog. Could be the heater, but to me the biggest issue is that BF and whatever other baggage he brought moved into HER place, not the other way around.

When my DH and I were dating, he was spending a lot of time at my 'place'. I was TDY at a hotel which was going to allow me to move my cat in. This was almost 20yrs ago. I told my DH that I was going to be bringing my cat, his reponse, "animals do not belong in the house, at all!" My reply, meaning it's you or the cat? He said 'could be'. We had been dating awhile and I saw pretty good possibilities, but guess what, I went and got my damn cat. We got married later and have been married 15yrs..now have 2 cats and 4 dogs who live all over the house, and DH is the one in charge of cleaning the litter boxes.

It's YOUR flat, he moved in. YOUR flat, YOUR baby, YOUR rules. Before you get married is when you set the ground rules for the entire future of your relationship. Be very careful what kind of rules you are setting yourself up for if you expect this to go the long haul. You cannot change the rules in the middle of the relationship, so be very careful that if you give up the power, that is actually what you want to do. 10yrs down the road it could come back to bite you.

[wemple2]

I have to agree with most...Bailey is begging for attention, so give it to him. Where is the cat when all of this with Bailey is going on? Winston is with us every minute we are home, I don't see a problem with this...he loves us as much as we love him. He eats when we eat, he sleeps when we sleep, he plays when we play and I just love sharing my life with him...what's wrong with that?

[lrichardsonrnc]

Nana 911....your my kind of woman.
this is wisdom coming from an a person who has lived it... to a person who is younger, not stupid. Just at a different time in their life. It's a huge decision and often a very unselfish one... to relinquish a man, one's power, or a beloved pet.

[nana911]

you put that much more succinctly than I did....LOL

[Deuce]

When at my house Rizzo is allowed everywhere (except the cat litter box room) he is allowed on my bed, on my couches basically no boundaries. However when at my bf's place we have to respect his rules, because it is his place. He doesn't think dog's should be up on the furniture (I tried to explain that he isn't a dog, he's a Yorkie, but he doesn't get it) But Rizzo caught on quick, so he just plays with the kitty that is there and just ignores us, unless the cat gets somewhere he cant reach, or he is tired and wants to cuddle. Then he just looks at me with his big sad eyes while the cat is tackling him because he want's to come up and cuddle with us. I've tried to win the bf over by holding Rizzo and giving him my big sad puppy dog eyes and Rizz seems to play along just fine by doing the same. I kind of understand, but I explained that my well washed/groomed does far less damage to his couch that his kitten, but he still wasn't having it. I only accept it because it is his house so it is his rules. He comes over to my house he gets to deal with cuddleing with both my pup and my kitty.
If it is your furniture and you dont have an issue with having him up there cuddling, maybe you should talk to your bf and find out why he doesn't want him up there and explain how much better off you guys would be with a happy yorkie in your lap then a sad yorkie whining from the kitchen...jmo

[BaileyGates]

Well i am shocked at some of your replys!!

Lets get one thing right, Bailey gets ALOT of mine and Andreas attention, he has play time and we are always going on lovely long walks with him. I spend most of the night playing with him and giving him LOTS of attention while Andreas spends the day walking him and bonding with him. He gets lots of nice treats and we love bailey more than anything. My bf moved in over a year ago, baileys nose was not pushed out at ALL!!! very upset at your negative comments!

Bailey has NEVER stayed in my bed room even when my bf didnt live with me and bailey has always gone to bed in his own bed! I dont ever lock bailey away and he follows me around the house constantly which i love.

What i am saying tho he is constantly crying non stop of late which he never seemed to do ... just started the last 2months NOT when my bf moved in!

I was asking for any advice to help stop the crying as you cant seriously tell me you think i am wrong for not wanting bailey to cry for my attention 24/7. Yes i have a bf, Yes we dont let bailey jump on the couch no more, but he gets ALOT of attention off me and my bf!

I dont agree that if you let a your dog do something that you cant break the habit, i watch caesar milan do it all the time lol!

I just want to stress the point that just because my bf moved in does not mean baileys has been pushed away and that i dont pay him enough attention because i do.

Hope thats makes sense.

[BaileyGates]

OMG i just read through more of the posts!! How dare you people say such horrible things about my BF!! mY BF loves bailey with all his heart. We both do!!! Bailey gets Alot of attention!!

I am so annoyed at you all right now how dare you all tell me to put my bf behind a dog gate!!! Bailey is with us 24/7 apart from when we sleep (which he has never been in my bed) My bailey is my baby and i have always treated him like my baby... and when my bf moved in he treated him like his baby too. It was a joint choice to try not bailey jump up on us as much and bailey has been fine with that! I let bailey on my lap when i call him up and he often snuggles into me, i just dont like him sleeping on the couch no more only when he is called up.

Yes i have laid down some ground rules in my house because Bailey was being a little naughty and bailey dont like it to much right now, but he will come round.

My bf is lovely to bailey and i think some of your comments about my bf was very uncalled for!

I came on this site asking for help to train my yorkie to stop crying 24/7 non stop if i dont give him ALL my attention... which just aint practical for me to give him attention 24/7!!!!! All i have got is horrible comments about my bf and how i dont give my yorkie enough attention!! Which is not true at all!!

I do not think i will ever be coming back on this site again to get comments like that again!! your responses to me asking for advice was VERY wrong indeed!! Iam so upset!!

[nana911]

It does make sense. You did say something about trying to pen him in the kitchen, where he could still see you (the pack) as sort of punishment to get him to stop crying. I may be wrong but in canine packs it is serious rejection to put one of them outside the inner circle, so to speak. It is the equivalent of being shunned. They hang around outside the circle before they finally leave the pack altogether. Perhaps that is adding to his distress?

Sorry you took the posts as so negative. Speaking for myself I saw BF in, and he wouldn't let Bailey on the couch, Bailey was upset, that is why I assumed it was wholly his idea .... I of course think everyone is supposed to just as eccentric as me and let their pets crawl all over everywhere. And at my advanced age and history of relationships, I see red flags where perhaps there are none, so excuse my jumping the gun.

If Bailey's distress coincides with the removal of the heater as someone else suggested perhaps all that is required is to bring it back... Also, perhaps if Bailey absolutely cannot get on the couch with you, would it be possible if, just until he gets through whatever this phase is you were to grab a pillow a sprawl on the floor with him? You'd have best of both of worlds.

Best of Luck!

[nana911]

I just read your second response, I really think that had you been as informative in your initial post we would not have been so negative as a group. The impression most of got was that he was not allowed on the couch at all, that things had changed dramatically when your bf moved in, to the point of penning him off in the kitchen for punishment. We can only respond to the information given to us.

The last post of yours does make the situation sound much better. He is allowed on the couch to cuddle with you, etc.. He never slept with you before your bf, and that is fine, a lot of people do that, so that was not a negative change. We're sorry you're upset but perhaps you can understand where we were coming from.

[BaileyGates]

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

I read the original post differently. I think this is what she said:


- Her bf moved in last September (10 months ago). The bf brought in his dog, and the rules changed about being on furniture and sleeping in the bed. Bailey was fine.

- They got a cat in December (7 months ago). Bailey loves the cat.

- 2 months ago, Bailey started getting very clingy.


So I don't think it's the rule change... to the OP, I would look for other possible changes. Maybe you're right that it's the heater. Possibly he's cold??

Some other thoughts:

- while it's great to walk with your dog, it's not necessarily the best way to really tire your dog out. I'd suggest playing 15-30 minutes of fetch with him per day, indoors or out, and see if that helps.

- Is he possibly developing separation anxiety? Do you ever leave him alone by himself? How does he react?

- I would say it's okay to ignore the whining, but if you're going to do that, you have to COMMIT. If you have been letting him whine for ~ten minutes, and then picking him up, you've taught him he needs to whine for at least ten minutes to get your attention.

- If you do give him a "time out", can he see you / hear you? It can be very frustrating / anxiety provoking for a dog to see something he wants and not be able to reach it. I'd recommend a timeout in a distant part of the house if possible, or at least throw a blanket over the baby gate so he can't see you.

- Try giving him chews and see if it can pull focus off of you. You can also try training / spending more quality time with you in general. Can you sit on the floor so he can sit on your lap?

- There's a difference between a dog whining for a few minutes or even an hour, and a dog crying all night. If he is truly distressed, ignoring him won't help. You should keep thinking about what may have changed for him, and try different techniques.


Good luck!

Thank you so much for this, this is just what i am saying. My bf moved in a year ago and bailey has just started crying 2months ago after the heater was turned off.

He has never been locked away from us ever only yesterday when i tried to ignore his crying. I have never commited to it before i always ended picking him up when he started to cry, cuddling him which made him think if he crys he gets my attention... and it worked and it has just got worse and worse and now he just crys non stop.

I give him play toys and chews filled with peanut butter and Andreas my bf sits on the floor with him every night and plays games with him. and he does not cry then its just when we sit down to relax he starts crying, he even starts crying when he is on my knee if i stop stroking him.

Its just 24/7 attention seeking!

Thank you for the only person to understand what i ment and not jump on my bf or me for not paying bailey attention! Still very mad and upset at other comments!!

[yorkiepuppie]

Originally Posted by BaileyGates

OMG i just read through more of the posts!! How dare you people say such horrible things about my BF!! mY BF loves bailey with all his heart. We both do!!! Bailey gets Alot of attention!!

I am so annoyed at you all right now how dare you all tell me to put my bf behind a dog gate!!! Bailey is with us 24/7 apart from when we sleep (which he has never been in my bed) My bailey is my baby and i have always treated him like my baby... and when my bf moved in he treated him like his baby too. It was a joint choice to try not bailey jump up on us as much and bailey has been fine with that! I let bailey on my lap when i call him up and he often snuggles into me, i just dont like him sleeping on the couch no more only when he is called up.

Yes i have laid down some ground rules in my house because Bailey was being a little naughty and bailey dont like it to much right now, but he will come round.

My bf is lovely to bailey and i think some of your comments about my bf was very uncalled for!

I came on this site asking for help to train my yorkie to stop crying 24/7 non stop if i dont give him ALL my attention... which just aint practical for me to give him attention 24/7!!!!! All i have got is horrible comments about my bf and how i dont give my yorkie enough attention!! Which is not true at all!!

I do not think i will ever be coming back on this site again to get comments like that again!! your responses to me asking for advice was VERY wrong indeed!! Iam so upset!!

i am sorry you feel hurt by the posts people made. i think people are confused by what you were asking. and might have interpreted incorrectly what you were asking advice on.

i was a little confused by your first post as well.

so you are asking why your dog suddenly wants all your attention?
from reading your first post, it's easy for people to think that it's because of the changes that happened(boyfriend moved in, not allowed on couch). but since you are saying that it's not because of those changes, then you might want to think about what other changes might have taken place recently to make your dog act this way since he never acted like this before.

don't take it personally, i think people were confused by what you are asking and misunderstood the situation. and honestly, i had fun reading your thread. because it's nice to see how spoiled all these yorkies are.