[nana911]

hmmm, I thought that Andreas is the BF. I didn't see where he brought a dog. Could be the heater, but to me the biggest issue is that BF and whatever other baggage he brought moved into HER place, not the other way around.

When my DH and I were dating, he was spending a lot of time at my 'place'. I was TDY at a hotel which was going to allow me to move my cat in. This was almost 20yrs ago. I told my DH that I was going to be bringing my cat, his reponse, "animals do not belong in the house, at all!" My reply, meaning it's you or the cat? He said 'could be'. We had been dating awhile and I saw pretty good possibilities, but guess what, I went and got my damn cat. We got married later and have been married 15yrs..now have 2 cats and 4 dogs who live all over the house, and DH is the one in charge of cleaning the litter boxes.

It's YOUR flat, he moved in. YOUR flat, YOUR baby, YOUR rules. Before you get married is when you set the ground rules for the entire future of your relationship. Be very careful what kind of rules you are setting yourself up for if you expect this to go the long haul. You cannot change the rules in the middle of the relationship, so be very careful that if you give up the power, that is actually what you want to do. 10yrs down the road it could come back to bite you.