Today has been the worst day of my life. Rant and Cry – LONG - *warning*

[shelbysmom]

Yorkshire Terriers are intensely personal dogs and yours wants you to show him lots of love, cuddles, to be with you every moment and lots of attention and love - that's what you got him for. He wants lots of positive reinforcement for everything he does right. It just makes them shine to know they have pleased you. Dogs are pack animals and not human sentries and need to be treated as members of our family for the most part, remembering their canine instincts kick in and we can harness those instincts with re-training in order to live successfully and happily with us.

Most Yorkies want to sleep touching or near their other pack members at night and to spend the day with them in life-enriching, fun, mentally-stimulating activities or resting on our bodies or very near us when we aren't up and about. We are to show firm, gentle leadership, show them their boundaries and reinforce those to the uttermost when they exhibit behavior we disagree with and stand them down until they desist and turn away or relax or give up, not in a fearful way that scares them but as a mother dog would her pup. I'll tell you how to do that later if you'd like.

[COLOR="blue"]^ Those are Yorkietalkjilly's words which is what I meant about taking the Yorkie out of the Yorkie. Obviously she said it better than I ever could. I am not an expert like her but I have been around Yorkies for a long time. Both of my Yorkies have followed me around the house from room to room etc. I sort of love it, which is why I love Yorkies. Your yorkie sounds like a very confused little baby, not yet a year old? That is why I suggested starting over. I would add, take a deep breath and develop a plan and start over. I know I made the mistake of causing separation anxiety with my first dog because I was so anxious when I left her and when I returned. With my new pup I just put her in her expen and say nothing. At first she went ballistic but I ignored her, now she just goes to her bed. (took a while). When I return I make her wait a minute and I don't make over her. My other concern is that your Yorkie gets caged because of the cat? That is something I won't comment on but it concerns me. Best of luck to you and yours. These babies are precious, I hope you figure out a way to savor your little one.

[valeriejsmyth]

I can only tell you what worked for me. I had two yorkies, male and female. When I lost my girl, my male was devastated. He really latched onto me and spent every waking or sleeping moment with me as I am retired now. I love him for that-he's my constant companion. Of course when I leave even to pump gas in the car he goes nits and carries on. When I leave the house for any length of time I always walk him and make sure he poops and pees out. When I leave I put treats (his food kibbles) all over the living room or the room he hangs out in most. I hide under pillows, under the of couch, under the edge of hid bowls (you get the point) and he is busy trying to look for the treats and not thinking about you leaving. I put him in another room while I hide them so he has to find them. Another thing that works is the kong stuffed with treats, kibbles, peanut butter, cheese whatever he likes. He will be playing with that and not thinking about you leaving. I leave music or tv on for him so he doesn't feel lonely. This is what has worked for me. If I am gone for than 2 hrs I put a pee pad down for him. I have never crated him except when he was a puppy he sleeps with me and I have never had behavior problems with him. Good luck, I hope our posts have given you some tips that will help you.

[valeriejsmyth]

Also, start with short trips first. Then you can extend the time as he feels more comfortable.

[SirTeddykins]

Originally Posted by shelbysmom

Yorkshire Terriers are intensely personal dogs and yours wants you to show him lots of love, cuddles, to be with you every moment and lots of attention and love - that's what you got him for. He wants lots of positive reinforcement for everything he does right. It just makes them shine to know they have pleased you. Dogs are pack animals and not human sentries and need to be treated as members of our family for the most part, remembering their canine instincts kick in and we can harness those instincts with re-training in order to live successfully and happily with us.

Most Yorkies want to sleep touching or near their other pack members at night and to spend the day with them in life-enriching, fun, mentally-stimulating activities or resting on our bodies or very near us when we aren't up and about. We are to show firm, gentle leadership, show them their boundaries and reinforce those to the uttermost when they exhibit behavior we disagree with and stand them down until they desist and turn away or relax or give up, not in a fearful way that scares them but as a mother dog would her pup. I'll tell you how to do that later if you'd like.

[COLOR="blue"]^ Those are Yorkietalkjilly's words which is what I meant about taking the Yorkie out of the Yorkie. Obviously she said it better than I ever could. I am not an expert like her but I have been around Yorkies for a long time. Both of my Yorkies have followed me around the house from room to room etc. I sort of love it, which is why I love Yorkies. Your yorkie sounds like a very confused little baby, not yet a year old? That is why I suggested starting over. I would add, take a deep breath and develop a plan and start over. I know I made the mistake of causing separation anxiety with my first dog because I was so anxious when I left her and when I returned. With my new pup I just put her in her expen and say nothing. At first she went ballistic but I ignored her, now she just goes to her bed. (took a while). When I return I make her wait a minute and I don't make over her. My other concern is that your Yorkie gets caged because of the cat? That is something I won't comment on but it concerns me. Best of luck to you and yours. These babies are precious, I hope you figure out a way to savor your little one.

I'm not disputing anything about Yorkie personalities (I have had two prior to this one not including the one I was raised with) but I feel like you're trying to engage me in some sort of debate which is not relevant to my situation.


I'm not going to justify to you why I do what I do with my dog and cat since you have a 'concern' but won't comment on what that is beyond sharing some sort of disapproval. In my opinion, that type of comment is not helpful and seems antagonistic. I could be wrong, text is often misconstrued, but I'm getting a bad vibe which isn't helping me tp help my dog


Once again, I respect your opinion, but I maintain that it is irrelevant to my situation.

Thanks for trying anyway and best of luck with you and yours.

[SirTeddykins]

Originally Posted by valeriejsmyth

I can only tell you what worked for me. I had two yorkies, male and female. When I lost my girl, my male was devastated. He really latched onto me and spent every waking or sleeping moment with me as I am retired now. I love him for that-he's my constant companion. Of course when I leave even to pump gas in the car he goes nits and carries on. When I leave the house for any length of time I always walk him and make sure he poops and pees out. When I leave I put treats (his food kibbles) all over the living room or the room he hangs out in most. I hide under pillows, under the of couch, under the edge of hid bowls (you get the point) and he is busy trying to look for the treats and not thinking about you leaving. I put him in another room while I hide them so he has to find them. Another thing that works is the kong stuffed with treats, kibbles, peanut butter, cheese whatever he likes. He will be playing with that and not thinking about you leaving. I leave music or tv on for him so he doesn't feel lonely. This is what has worked for me. If I am gone for than 2 hrs I put a pee pad down for him. I have never crated him except when he was a puppy he sleeps with me and I have never had behavior problems with him. Good luck, I hope our posts have given you some tips that will help you.

Thank you!!!

[SirTeddykins]

Originally Posted by lisaly

I'm very sorry you for such terrible advice from your trainer. Jeanie is such a kind, compassionate person whose love for dogs and kindness oozes out of her beautiful heart. She is very dog centered and listens to her dogs' emotions. They speak to her, and she so willingly helps others. I have learned a lot reading Jeanie's posts and have enjoyed them immensely. I'm sure she can help you and your pup. Gemy also is someone with a huge heart who has extensive knowledge about training and such a deep bond with her pups. Like Jeanie, her training helps to develop an even deeper bond with her pups, and when I've spoken to both of these wonderful women, it sounds like they are having so much fun, not only with playing with their pups, but also training them, as well. I have learned so much more about compassion and training from both of these women. I hope their advice helps you to help Teddy. I know you are very committed to him and love him dearly.

Thank you so much - your support means a lot to me. x

[SirTeddykins]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

So I can get a better handle on what you've tried, do you mind my asking for just a brief description of the SA training that was so stressful to you both?

Thanks so much for your time and assistance.


The first thing I was told to do was to lavish my dog with attention when he is outside and ignore him in the house, apart from food and commands, for two weeks. I called the trainer after two weeks to tell him that this wasn't working since he recommended that this would result in my dog not peeing on the front door or pacing when I was away.


he then told me that I needed to stick with it longer, another 2 weeks, so I did. My dog then began to demand bark and bite me as I walked by for attention! he also seemed very depressed.


I told the trainer and he told me that dogs don't get depressed and I was humanizing him but that I wasn't doing what he said to do anyway - well, it's in writing and was confirmed by two subsequent phone calls. I asked him to explain then what I was meant to do and he said then that I needed to 'smash' him like a mother dog. Well, when I did that- I got bit. My dog started behaving in ways that he never behaved. I could tell he was confused and I was confused and it stressed Teddy, me and my husband


I found the above highly distressing so I quit taking his advice re: above and lavished my dog with attention and praise which I was told yesterday was the wrong thing to do as praising a dog for behaving will mess their head up since that is what they're supposed to be doing anyway.


I also find it distressing that my dog wants to sleep with me, which I have no problem with, but have been told by the trainer (and websites) that this assists with clingy dogs. however, he still sneaks in at night and I won't lock him out.


I am confusing my dog because I am getting and implementing confusing messages and this is why we're both stressed.


I am willing and ready to wipe the slate clean, forget I ever met that trainer, and hopefully with your very kind assistance, get my dog to become confident when I'm here and when I'm not for his own peace of mind.


Please let me know if you need any further info. Other things I have done are contained on the SA document that the trainer told me to use which rambles on about his OPINION regarding other trainers approaches but gives little advice from him.


Thanks againxxxxxxxxxxxx

[yorkietalkjilly]

Dear goodness, no wonder you found this "training" highly distressing to both you and your dog! My goodness. It's actually cruel in my mind but let's move on and I'll post a step-by-step method that most dogs readily accept and find they are so slowly desensitized to your getting ready to leave and going away, they find ways to adjust in increments to being alone and before they know it, can stay alone and learn to busy themselves or just go to sleep and rest until you return - haha - one of the reasons they overpower us with such fabulous, energetic greetings. While we are away at work or running errands or whatever, they are resting up and ready to go as soon as we get home and are good and tired! Still, as soon as we see that spinning little ball of fur who greets us so happily, we usually find the strength to do whatever it is they need from us!

I have slept with every one of my dogs but have also trained them to be confident and independent through training that builds up their self-assurance, removes irrational fears and gives them the ability to be content apart from me. Yorkies love to be on or near you but most are only clingy when they are ill or live a lifestyle where we lavish them with nothing but affection and never teach them how to be a well-adjusted dog. My Tibbe's favorite spot in the world is lying right next to me on my pillow but he's just as happy lying at the end of the couch or in his bed also and moves between those spots when I'm home with him.

He's now a happy, feisty, charming and well-behaved little guy so I know even a dog with loads of problems to start with, as he had in spades, can be rehabilitated and have his behavior reshaped with positive-reinforcement training and gradual desensitization to anxieties.

[yorkietalkjilly]

I have used the below technique to train anxious and barking dogs how to accept being left alone without misbehaving or becoming destructive. It is long, wordy and the copy/paste from my Word program can cause some of the words to run together but you might read it over and see if it might work for your baby. It was originally posted about an adult, male dog with female owner. When enough time and repetition is used to teach this method, it has worked every time to desensitize the dog to the concept of being left alone and they learn to relax and accept this fact of their lives. But it takes a lot of dedication and repetition by the owner, working faithfully with the dog. I hope it can help your sweet dog feel less anxious when you leave her/him home alone.

Separation Anxiety

Most anxious dogs that aren't used to it get nervous and anxious when their owners leave the home. Firstly, take all emotion out of your leaving. Do not feel sad for him or tell him goodbye - just like pack leaders in the wild don't when they decide to go on a hunt or take a walk - they just walk away and nobody freaks. They are impersonal and matter-of-fact in how and what they must do. So no emotional goodbyes or hello's(for now - those can resume when the dog has lost his anxiety) when arriving home. Act like a pack leader. Your dog is a pack animal and is genetically in tune with a firm but fair leader. As far as your actual leaving, just slowly desensitize him to your leaving and soon he will come to accept it. But you must desensitize him to it slowly and allow him to adjust to each step. Be patient with that baby - his anxiety can be overcome with time and patience and knowing what to do. Keep your training sessions short and impersonal, matter-of-fact. (You can reward him once each exercise is over with a big, loving play session and lots of loving hugs, kisses.)

Give him a lovely food-stuffed kong toy, sit down and watch him playing with it, take up your keys and purse and whatever else you do as if to leave home and sit back down and just watch him. Don't go anywhere. Just sit there. Now this is key: keep repeating this for a day or two on a weekend over and over, giving him different things to chew on or play with as you get ready to go but don't.

After a day or two of this, when he's playing with his kong and has accepted your getting your things together, get your keys/purse, put on your hat or coat, etc., watch him for a while then get up and without saying one word to him or looking in his direction, just like an alpha wolf who acts in its pack without question from one of his pack members, walk out of your door outside. Shut it. Stand there 10 seconds and walk back in, DO NOT NOTICE HIM AT ALL, no matter how he's dancing around your feet or whining in joy, put your things away and sit back down where you usually sit when you watch him with his kong toy. Repeat this over & over and keep increasing your times outside to let him learn slowly that though momma goes out the door, she will be back and I'm really okay. Slowly but surely as you stay out longer and longer but do come back in, he'll have grown to accept this action as inconsequential in his life and soon grow to accept your leaving without thinking a thing of it -he'll know he gets a good thing to play with and some good food, momma will be back and he'll accept it. B4 long, he will just accept your leaving without any toys or kongs or anything. After a while, include getting in the car in this training exercise, even starting it up and getting right back out and coming in the house without noticing him. Repeat repeat repeat - sitting in the car awhile with it running. Eventually, drive around the block and then back home, inside, not noticing your dog and putting your things away, coming to sit in the same place on the couch where you always sit during this training. Once you have sat there a while after each training session, now it is time to play and reward that anxious baby who is learning to be a goooood dog so now have a blast with him. Lots of love, hugs, kisses, tugowar, etc. Happy, happy rewards for his efforts are definitely in order!

If you are patient enough to do this, it works EVERY SINGLE time and turns an anxious, crying dog into one that accepts leaving as just a part of his day.They soon learn to adjust their day to sleep while we are away and be ready togo when we get home.

I would also start him on a good positive-rewards training program such as in Tamar Geller's The Loved Dog book. This will teach him to bond well with you as you develop a strong relationship that he will not question, no matter what as he knows momma is always gonna keep it fun, loving and always rewarding for him.

[SirTeddykins]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

I have used the below technique to train anxious and barking dogs how to accept being left alone without misbehaving or becoming destructive. It is long, wordy and the copy/paste from my Word program can cause some of the words to run together but you might read it over and see if it might work for your baby. It was originally posted about an adult, male dog with female owner. When enough time and repetition is used to teach this method, it has worked every time to desensitize the dog to the concept of being left alone and they learn to relax and accept this fact of their lives. But it takes a lot of dedication and repetition by the owner, working faithfully with the dog. I hope it can help your sweet dog feel less anxious when you leave her/him home alone.

Separation Anxiety

Most anxious dogs that aren't used to it get nervous and anxious when their owners leave the home. Firstly, take all emotion out of your leaving. Do not feel sad for him or tell him goodbye - just like pack leaders in the wild don't when they decide to go on a hunt or take a walk - they just walk away and nobody freaks. They are impersonal and matter-of-fact in how and what they must do. So no emotional goodbyes or hello's(for now - those can resume when the dog has lost his anxiety) when arriving home. Act like a pack leader. Your dog is a pack animal and is genetically in tune with a firm but fair leader. As far as your actual leaving, just slowly desensitize him to your leaving and soon he will come to accept it. But you must desensitize him to it slowly and allow him to adjust to each step. Be patient with that baby - his anxiety can be overcome with time and patience and knowing what to do. Keep your training sessions short and impersonal, matter-of-fact. (You can reward him once each exercise is over with a big, loving play session and lots of loving hugs, kisses.)

Give him a lovely food-stuffed kong toy, sit down and watch him playing with it, take up your keys and purse and whatever else you do as if to leave home and sit back down and just watch him. Don't go anywhere. Just sit there. Now this is key: keep repeating this for a day or two on a weekend over and over, giving him different things to chew on or play with as you get ready to go but don't.

After a day or two of this, when he's playing with his kong and has accepted your getting your things together, get your keys/purse, put on your hat or coat, etc., watch him for a while then get up and without saying one word to him or looking in his direction, just like an alpha wolf who acts in its pack without question from one of his pack members, walk out of your door outside. Shut it. Stand there 10 seconds and walk back in, DO NOT NOTICE HIM AT ALL, no matter how he's dancing around your feet or whining in joy, put your things away and sit back down where you usually sit when you watch him with his kong toy. Repeat this over & over and keep increasing your times outside to let him learn slowly that though momma goes out the door, she will be back and I'm really okay. Slowly but surely as you stay out longer and longer but do come back in, he'll have grown to accept this action as inconsequential in his life and soon grow to accept your leaving without thinking a thing of it -he'll know he gets a good thing to play with and some good food, momma will be back and he'll accept it. B4 long, he will just accept your leaving without any toys or kongs or anything. After a while, include getting in the car in this training exercise, even starting it up and getting right back out and coming in the house without noticing him. Repeat repeat repeat - sitting in the car awhile with it running. Eventually, drive around the block and then back home, inside, not noticing your dog and putting your things away, coming to sit in the same place on the couch where you always sit during this training. Once you have sat there a while after each training session, now it is time to play and reward that anxious baby who is learning to be a goooood dog so now have a blast with him. Lots of love, hugs, kisses, tugowar, etc. Happy, happy rewards for his efforts are definitely in order!

If you are patient enough to do this, it works EVERY SINGLE time and turns an anxious, crying dog into one that accepts leaving as just a part of his day.They soon learn to adjust their day to sleep while we are away and be ready togo when we get home.

I would also start him on a good positive-rewards training program such as in Tamar Geller's The Loved Dog book. This will teach him to bond well with you as you develop a strong relationship that he will not question, no matter what as he knows momma is always gonna keep it fun, loving and always rewarding for him.

Thanks so much for this..I have never made a big deal of coming or going but I have to admit that I have not tried to desensitize my leaving etc so I will try this tomorrow.

We had a good day today. I took Teddy to the park for an hour and then sat at home for half an hour afterwards with him to let him wind down from the park where he'd met another dog (he was insanely annoying, barking etc but the lady with the other dog was so understanding and sweet and he finally calmed down!!). After he'd calmed down, I stuffed a kong for him and put him in his crate and left for an hour and a half to run some errands. When I'd come back, he was completely dry (FIRST TIME IN EVER) and calm and I let him out with no emotion and gave him a treat after five minutes of remaining calm.


I am hopeful and thank you so much for not judging me and assisting me with compassion and intelligence.

THANK YOU ALL xxx


will keep you updated on his progress so hopefully you can add me to your portfolio of success

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by SirTeddykins

Thanks so much for this..I have never made a big deal of coming or going but I have to admit that I have not tried to desensitize my leaving etc so I will try this tomorrow.

We had a good day today. I took Teddy to the park for an hour and then sat at home for half an hour afterwards with him to let him wind down from the park where he'd met another dog (he was insanely annoying, barking etc but the lady with the other dog was so understanding and sweet and he finally calmed down!!). After he'd calmed down, I stuffed a kong for him and put him in his crate and left for an hour and a half to run some errands. When I'd come back, he was completely dry (FIRST TIME IN EVER) and calm and I let him out with no emotion and gave him a treat after five minutes of remaining calm.


I am hopeful and thank you so much for not judging me and assisting me with compassion and intelligence.

THANK YOU ALL xxx


will keep you updated on his progress so hopefully you can add me to your portfolio of success

That's a good report on you and your baby's restart. Sounds like things are looking up a bit. Just slowly work through that desensitization training over the next two weeks and in time he will come to accept your being gone without going crazy with anxiety and stress or barking wildly as he'll slowly accept each incremental stage of your getting ready to go and then going out the door and immediately back in, etc. , then going to the car and back inside and so forth over time and, because he's learned to control his anxieties little-by-little, step-by-step, he will never stress the same way. So many owners just give up on their dogs and don't try to help them or even if they do try to work with them, give up too soon, not continuing the training. Best of luck to you!

[yorkietalkjilly]

In light of some of what most would probably agree was bad advice on general dog handling and training you got from your professional trainer, I'm going to give you some tips to read through, consider and use or disregard, just in case something might help you with your baby:

Basic dog training is all about shaping your dog’s instincts and behavior to fit your lifestyle by repetitively communicating what you expect of him in a clear, concise manner, rewarding him when he gets it right, marking incorrect actions with an “uh oh” and turning away from him and always enforcing behavior boundaries you teach him he cannot cross. No need to yell, scream, give time-outs or suddenly spray the dog in the face with water or citronella – just gently keep showing him what you expect of him and reward good behavior – whenever he is doing what you’d like – with positive reinforcement by marking it with a smile, praise and a treat(resource sharing) and an “uh oh” to signal the misfires.

Additionally, always stop improper behavior by standing up as you say “No!”, making direct eye contact with and pointing at the dog, walking over to him in a no-nonsense manner with your best pack-leader body attitude and into his space, thus dislodging him and standing your ground until he backs off, turns away and gives up and relaxes – standing there over him however long it takes to achieve an acquiescent state of mind in your dog. Pack leaders in wild or feral dog packs will often use this type of minor discipline, using their body to claim the space the offender was using, direct-eye contact, sometimes in conjunction with bared teeth, a snarl, growl or teeth held across the back of the neck, to teach a pack member a better way to behave. As dog pack leaders have no hands or more sophisticated methods of teaching as we do, they use what they've got but only as a teaching tool.

If he jumps up on you as you walk in the front door and you dislike that – walk forward into his space until fears he’s going to lose his balance and gets down. Some keep walking, ignoring the dog and others like me will mark the dog stopping that behavior with a smile and a wink as I walk on. He’ll quickly learn not to jump up. If he’s barking too much, teach him to bark on command by reinforcing your commands to “Bark! Bark!”, along with a hand gesture to mimic a barking muzzle, with very excited praise and a treat until he’s doing that every time on command.

After he’s got that command down pat, as he’s barking on command, suddenly stand up or sit up very straight and say “Quiet” as you use a slashing gesture across your throat or a finger to your lips – some hand signal – and when he stops from his surprise at your sudden actions and new command, instantly smile, give gentle praise and say “Good Quiet!” and treat him. Repeat, repeat, repeat in very short one - two minute sessions two or three times every day until he’s both barking and going quiet on command every command.

If your dog is chewing on the table leg or digging a hole in the new couch with his paws, immediately do this: Lock eyes with him from across the room, point at him with an outstretched arm, walk over into his space as you clap your hands or continue pointing and say “No!”(not viciously or in a scary voice – just speaking firmly as a teacher would to a kindergarten student about to break something) and displace him with your body or hands and claim the spot where he was or continue walking into him, until he turns away, gives up and then relaxes. Stand there until he does give in and becomes submissive, acknowledging your leadership.

Don’t worry – canines are an hierarchal society, instinctively calmed by having a firm but benevolent leader to direct and take care of them and often become anxious without one, trying to exert leadership of their pack themselves by becoming frantically anxious, dominant and/or aggressive.

If you are persistent and always stop him and stand him down from any bad behavior every single time, in time he’ll begin to associate each misbehavior activity in his brain with your always stopping him and backing him off. Dogs seem to dislike being disciplined with a direct-eye-contact type stand-down confrontation and will in time begin to police themselves from returning to behavior you’ve repetitively taught them you disagree with and even if they do occasionally re-offend, a simple direct stare or pointing finger is often enough to stop the behavior and send the dog into ready submission.

Obedience training x5 minutes two or three times a day – as dogs generally only learn to obey commands or perform tricks by proper motivation and repetition - taught in an upbeat manner, kept interesting, fun and rewarding for the dog with treats and lots of heart-felt praise from you in a squeaky-sweet voice will over time create a strong, working-team bond between the two of you, teach him who is leader while learning to control his impulses for the pay-off to come and encourage him that automatically obeying you always results in great rewards and happiness for him as it’s such good times when he does.

And, in the process, you’ll have created for yourself a happy, feisty, active little companion who rarely ever misbehaves as he’s learned his best life is associated with pleasing you and works hard to do that.

[SirTeddykins]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

In light of some of what most would probably agree was bad advice on general dog handling and training you got from your professional trainer, I'm going to give you some tips to read through, consider and use or disregard, just in case something might help you with your baby:

Basic dog training is all about shaping your dog’s instincts and behavior to fit your lifestyle by repetitively communicating what you expect of him in a clear, concise manner, rewarding him when he gets it right, marking incorrect actions with an “uh oh” and turning away from him and always enforcing behavior boundaries you teach him he cannot cross. No need to yell, scream, give time-outs or suddenly spray the dog in the face with water or citronella – just gently keep showing him what you expect of him and reward good behavior – whenever he is doing what you’d like – with positive reinforcement by marking it with a smile, praise and a treat(resource sharing) and an “uh oh” to signal the misfires.

Additionally, always stop improper behavior by standing up as you say “No!”, making direct eye contact with and pointing at the dog, walking over to him in a no-nonsense manner with your best pack-leader body attitude and into his space, thus dislodging him and standing your ground until he backs off, turns away and gives up and relaxes – standing there over him however long it takes to achieve an acquiescent state of mind in your dog. Pack leaders in wild or feral dog packs will often use this type of minor discipline, using their body to claim the space the offender was using, direct-eye contact, sometimes in conjunction with bared teeth, a snarl, growl or teeth held across the back of the neck, to teach a pack member a better way to behave. As dog pack leaders have no hands or more sophisticated methods of teaching as we do, they use what they've got but only as a teaching tool.

If he jumps up on you as you walk in the front door and you dislike that – walk forward into his space until fears he’s going to lose his balance and gets down. Some keep walking, ignoring the dog and others like me will mark the dog stopping that behavior with a smile and a wink as I walk on. He’ll quickly learn not to jump up. If he’s barking too much, teach him to bark on command by reinforcing your commands to “Bark! Bark!”, along with a hand gesture to mimic a barking muzzle, with very excited praise and a treat until he’s doing that every time on command.

After he’s got that command down pat, as he’s barking on command, suddenly stand up or sit up very straight and say “Quiet” as you use a slashing gesture across your throat or a finger to your lips – some hand signal – and when he stops from his surprise at your sudden actions and new command, instantly smile, give gentle praise and say “Good Quiet!” and treat him. Repeat, repeat, repeat in very short one - two minute sessions two or three times every day until he’s both barking and going quiet on command every command.

If your dog is chewing on the table leg or digging a hole in the new couch with his paws, immediately do this: Lock eyes with him from across the room, point at him with an outstretched arm, walk over into his space as you clap your hands or continue pointing and say “No!”(not viciously or in a scary voice – just speaking firmly as a teacher would to a kindergarten student about to break something) and displace him with your body or hands and claim the spot where he was or continue walking into him, until he turns away, gives up and then relaxes. Stand there until he does give in and becomes submissive, acknowledging your leadership.

Don’t worry – canines are an hierarchal society, instinctively calmed by having a firm but benevolent leader to direct and take care of them and often become anxious without one, trying to exert leadership of their pack themselves by becoming frantically anxious, dominant and/or aggressive.

If you are persistent and always stop him and stand him down from any bad behavior every single time, in time he’ll begin to associate each misbehavior activity in his brain with your always stopping him and backing him off. Dogs seem to dislike being disciplined with a direct-eye-contact type stand-down confrontation and will in time begin to police themselves from returning to behavior you’ve repetitively taught them you disagree with and even if they do occasionally re-offend, a simple direct stare or pointing finger is often enough to stop the behavior and send the dog into ready submission.

Obedience training x5 minutes two or three times a day – as dogs generally only learn to obey commands or perform tricks by proper motivation and repetition - taught in an upbeat manner, kept interesting, fun and rewarding for the dog with treats and lots of heart-felt praise from you in a squeaky-sweet voice will over time create a strong, working-team bond between the two of you, teach him who is leader while learning to control his impulses for the pay-off to come and encourage him that automatically obeying you always results in great rewards and happiness for him as it’s such good times when he does.

And, in the process, you’ll have created for yourself a happy, feisty, active little companion who rarely ever misbehaves as he’s learned his best life is associated with pleasing you and works hard to do that.

Thanks so much for this - I am using all of these techniques currently and I can say they do help. I thinks sometimes we do our dogs a disservice by treating them like human infants instead of distinctive, sentient mammals and this is where communication can fall down.


I have tried to post the SA booket below my trainer gave to me. I'd be grateful if you could let me know if there's anything you think I should try or ignore.


At this point, I've written the whole guide off as I dislike the author but if you can look at it from an objective stance and let me know- I'd be grateful.


Also, if there is any great or horrible advice, if you could highlight it for me and others that would be a great learning tool.


I have asked for clarification from the trainer regarding some points but he does not assist other than to just tell me to READ IT over the phone.


Thanks so much. You're a star.

[SirTeddykins]

Separation Anxiety



Dogs often become very attached to people and when left on their own may display different kinds of difficult behaviour because they are separated from their owner. This is relatively easy and quick to fix if you use the correct methods and understand why the dog is stressed.


Here is a list of behaviour I have encountered during the past few years:


Barking, howling or whining for hours on end

Trying to dig through, around or under a door or gate. I have been to homes with shredded carpets, holes in the plasterboard by a door, floor coverings ripped up, the door frame destroyed. One dog even ripped off the architrave surrounding the door. I have been in kitchens where every single cupboard door had teeth marks on it and there were also teeth marks on the steel fridge door

Constant jumping up at a door

Licking the door frame or a window

Messing in the house when the owners were out and then jumping all over the furniture and spreading it everywhere

Self-harm such as gnawing or licking fur until the skin is bare and bleeding

Ripped claws and nose injuries from breaking out of a metal crate

Damaged curtains or destroyed blinds

Excessive panting and water consumption

Tail chasing and biting



Animals are tough on their offspring. They look after them completely for a while, and when they judge they are ready, they push them away to make them learn to feed themselves and become independent. It is in the interest of the herd that every member grows up quickly and keeps the herd strong. The weakest and dependent will not survive.


A sheep, for instance, will suckle its young lamb for a time, but then it will decide it is time for the lamb to become independent and start to eat grass. The lamb wants the easy option: full fat milk on tap. The mother will drive the lamb away; she may kick out or butt the lamb quite hard in order to stop it trying to suckle and start grazing as soon as possible.


I have seen footage of a deer kicking out at its fawn to get it to start grazing and become independent.


Dog puppies born in the wild are suckled by their mother, but eventually she will need to hunt to restore her strength and produce more milk. She will usually leave the pups in the care of a den mother and go and hunt with the pack. Hopefully they will kill and eat something and she will return to the den, produce more milk and suckle the pups. The older puppies that have been weaned but are not old enough to hunt will lick around the mouths of the returning adult dogs to try to get them to regurgitate some meat for them to eat. In this way the puppies learn to be independent but have the security of siblings and other members of the pack.


With the domestic dog however, the situation is very different.


The pup is removed from its mother and siblings within 12 weeks, sometimes as little as eight weeks, and placed in a weird world of locked doors and windows, noisy machinery, loud noises and traffic. The dog has to try to make sense of this.


A fragile animal may become attached to the human they identify as their mother and follow them everywhere. This can go on for years. I have treated a Shi Tzu aged 10 for separation anxiety. Whenever it was left alone, it sat by the front door drooling so much that the wooden floor was stained. It scratched at the door to get out. It scratched itself a lot as it was wearing a jumper when I walked into the centrally-heated house. I asked for the jumper to be removed - the dog stopped scratching within 10 minutes. The dog also messed on the upstairs landing carpet; it was allowed to sleep on the owners’ bed. It barked at people passing by the house from inside and outside the house and was unpredictable with other dogs. This was a little dog that liked to be in control – and had been allowed to think of itself as ruling the roost.


Now not all this behaviour was down to separation anxiety, but it certainly had a lot to do with it.


I must explain a little more about separation anxiety.


We humans take a puppy home and treat it like one of us, because we don’t understand how dogs work. We let the dog become attached to its new mother or father and then we go to work and shut the door. The dog starts to whine desperately, and will try to get out of the house where it is trapped, scratching, digging, chewing…


It has not yet learned to be independent.


I have read lots of books which offer all sorts of different advice such as making sure your dog is well exercised, getting a dog-sitter or dog walker, de-sensitising the dog to the clues that you are going out and so on. One female TV trainer told a lady dog owner: ‘take your clothes on and off repeatedly. Put your make-up on but don’t go out. Clean your teeth but don’t go out. Spray your perfume in the room.’


This is the biggest load of bull I’ve seen since I was down in the cowshed. These people haven’t a clue how a dog’s mind works, even though they claim to be experts.


The solution is to wean the dog off the owner. To do this the owner must, like sheep and deer, drive the dog away. The owner must start to control the space in the house and not let the dog follow them around. This should not be done by closing a door on a dog, but by using blocking and a threat/challenge exercise and removing all affection from the dog for about two weeks so that it sinks in.


You need to make your dog independent. Simply closing the door between yourself and a dog does not do this: it sees the door simply as a barrier and will wait for it to open and let them resume their position very close beside you.


By using this method everywhere in the house you force the dog away from you and make it become independent.


People have said to me ‘But I don’t want to stop giving it love and affection because I don’t want it to hate me if I keep pushing it away’.


I have to explain to them that cuddling and loving them is a human thing. When you make the dog independent it looks up to you as a higher rank. The bond between you actually becomes deeper because finally you are acting like a dog and the dog understands what you want and obeys you.


I love my dogs and give them lots of fuss when I want to. However I will revert back to being a Drill Sergeant if they step out of line.


It is difficult for many owners to get the balance right between discipline and affection.


I explain it by using a military parallel.


Soldiers do not share all their facilities. The officers have a separate Mess as do the sergeants and NCOs. There are reasons for this. Respect and obedience.


If the rank and file mixed socially with officers off duty they would lose their respect for them. Familiarity can breed contempt. The soldiers might then hesitate to carry out an order which could cost them their lives. They have to rely on the officer’s training, experience and higher rank to make the right decision and make sure it is obeyed.


Dogs that are mollycoddled are far more likely to have no respect for their owner. They think they are in charge and can do whatever they like.


It’s called tough love…

[SirTeddykins]

The General and the Sentry or how to get your dog to sit and stay in two minutes.


This exercise is very powerful and it really works. It doesn’t take weeks of training. It literally takes minutes.


I call it the General and the Sentry because I use it with dogs that are hard to control when callers come to the front door. The Sentry (the dog) lets the General (the owner) know that someone is at the front door. The General then sends him back to his sentry post while he deals with whatever is on the other side of the door.


The psychology behind it
This General and the Sentry is a threat/challenge exercise which a dog understands because it uses the same technique on other dogs and humans.
A dog growls at you. This is a warning: it wants a bit of personal space, and is threatening to bite you to get it.
Your natural reaction is to move away.
Now it will already be staring at you, another warning which we as humans don’t usually recognise as one.
Then it growls as you move into its personal space. Any closer and it may snarl or bark or you may even get a mock charge. It may advance towards you, aggressively barking to try and make you back off. I often see small dogs doing a mock charge to other dogs or humans.
If you continue to ignore all these warnings, it may bite you to make you go away.
You can control the dog by using the same technique, somewhat adapted; you establish a higher ranking and become its pack leader.






It is all about controlling space. Here’s how…


Blocking. Using a confined space such as a hallway move the dog with your shins and knees to the end of the hallway. Keep your hands behind you and try not to lift your feet off the floor. I tell my clients I’m going to do the penguin shuffle! If the dog tries to wriggle past you, trap its head against the wall. It will always pull back.

When the dog is trapped at the end of the hallway it will either sit down or stand sideways on to you, with its head and tail lowered. These signals are indicating submission.

When the dog is stationary, make eye contact and start to move back, lowering your head slightly and staring: these are both threat signals to a dog.

If the dog starts to move towards you, bark out a loud AY! (first letter of the alphabet and sounds very much like STAY!) and take a quick step towards the animal. It will usually interpret this as a mock charge and will stop in its tracks.

Keep moving back, still staring at the dog, until you reach the other end of the hall. The dog should be standing or sitting still and be focused on your eyes.

Release the dog by lowering your eyes and crouching slightly, and say in a high sing-song tone “Come on then”.

The dog will come to you with a low tail wag and lowered head. It may curl its body around in front of you. These are all submissive signals.



If you have done this right you have managed to get your dog to sit, stay and come in under two minutes without a command or a treat. You have done it by using a dog technique on a dog. That is why the dog understands it. Congratulations.


Now try blocking your dog into any corner of a room and repeat. You can use this method anywhere in the house to keep your dog out of your personal space. This control of space makes the dog regard you as a higher rank.