PLEASE HELP!!!!! Misbehavior leading to broken relationship!!!

[BigBlueNation]

Hello everyone,

Let me start by explaining my problems and hopefully any advice given will be appreciated. To begin, my girlfriend of a year and a half has a 7 year old, 4 lb teacup Yorkie named Bailey. When we first began dating, I noticed that his behavior was completely out of control. Bailey was treated like a toy for the first 4 years of his life. Wherever my girlfriend went, Bailey went too. Then my girlfriend moved into a new place with a new roommate. Over the next 2 years, Bailey was given free reign in the house to do whatever he pleased. This includes, but is not limited to, peeing in the house, barking at everyone coming and going, pooping in the house, chewing furniture and doors, etc. Both my girlfriend and her roommate had very hectic hours, so Bailey was left to roam the house unattended. He has never been crated, or disciplined for that matter. As you can imagine, he developed some seriously bad habits. Once I started dating my girlfriend, after about 2 months I started to discipline the dog for peeing and pooping in the house. He was told no for barking. He has learned that he is not allowed upstairs by himself. Etc. Her roommate moved out and we started to make very serious accomplishments towards his behavior. We still cannot have people over to the house, because his erratic behavior is so embarrassing. But we did make headway on other misbehavior. That being said, here's where the story takes a turn.

I moved into the house about 2 weeks ago, and since then, Bailey has regressed at an amazing rate, while also developing new habits. Now, as soon as my girlfriend leaves the house, his separation anxiety is tremendous. He will literally sit and tremble while staring at me. He has actually gone into seizures during one of these episodes. He also will not go to the bathroom outside. He just runs around and stares at me. As soon as we enter the house and I turn my back, he will pee and poop. When anyone comes in the house, its like a jail break. If he can't make it to the door, he is trying to climb up the person's leg whose entering the house. Lastly, he now whines at the edge of the bed multiple times during the night. When we awake, he is just staring at us. If we take him outside, he doesn't do his business. This is happening multiple times a night. I can't understand why this is happening. Is it because I am a dominate male who will correct his bad behavior? Have I literally scared him into hating me? While I am not proud of it, I will admit, I have lost my temper with him on more than a handful of occasions.

I grew up with very obedient and smart dogs, mostly German Shepherds. I am at a complete loss on where to go from here and I am seriously starting to doubt this relationship can last while the dog is in the picture. My hatred and frustration with this dog is leading to some very serious problems. Any advice anyone could give, I would greatly appreciate it.

[gidget529]

Welcome to YT. Sorry it's under these circumstances. Unfortunately, yorkies are very different personalities from german shepherds. They are sensitive souls who respond best to positive reinforcement. I think you might be right, your temper-losing has probably deeply upset him. They are terriers and respond to repetition. Eventually if they see the pattern and that something good is in it for them if they do a certain behavior during the pattern, a lightbulb goes on and you get the desired behavior.

I think he is terrified of you at this point. I'm not sure how to correct that. I understand your frustration that you walked into a situation w a totally untrained 4 year old dog, but it is not the dog's fault. It is your girlfriend's fault. She is probably a lovely girl, but she failed this poor pup in housetraining and socialization. I think I would go to a professional trainer in your area, explain the situation, and ask for help. You might also take a trip to his vet. He/she might also have some suggestions, especially since this dog is having seizures. In fact, while I think of it, with the seizures I would DEFINITELY see his vet and have him evaluated ASAP.

To help this little one, it is going to take a committment on both of your parts. It is going to take time to turn this situation around. I know this may sound harsh, but I don't mean it that way. It might be best to surrender to a reputable yorkie rescue organization who have the means and time to work with him and help him. We have members who work w very reputable yorkie rescues. It could be the kindest thing you could do for him.

[laci32]

At this point you both have to question if each of you are prepared for hard work and commintment. Hit the library get books and arm your self with as much info as you can get. It's going to take a lot of work also you might want to spend some money on a dog trainer. For yourself your going to have to be patient and win this furbaby over. You doing the feeding the treats and the walks yes walk him everyday. ( mine gets walked twice a day) and please play wit this yorkie. If you can do these things you will win him over. Even tossing a ball has structure and commands fetch and bringing it back. Good luck let us know how it goes

[KazzyK810]

The others that responded above me have alot more restraint than I...

Originally Posted by BigBlueNation

Hello everyone,

Let me start by explaining my problems and hopefully any advice given will be appreciated. To begin, my girlfriend of a year and a half has a 7 year old, 4 lb teacup Yorkie named Bailey. When we first began dating, I noticed that his behavior was completely out of control. Bailey was treated like a toy for the first 4 years of his life. Wherever my girlfriend went, Bailey went too. Then my girlfriend moved into a new place with a new roommate. Over the next 2 years, Bailey was given free reign in the house to do whatever he pleased. This includes, but is not limited to, peeing in the house, barking at everyone coming and going, pooping in the house, chewing furniture and doors, etc. Both my girlfriend and her roommate had very hectic hours, so Bailey was left to roam the house unattended. He has never been crated, or disciplined for that matter. As you can imagine, he developed some seriously bad habits. After years of doing something wouldn't you expect it to be a well established habit that might take a similar amount of time to break? Once I started dating my girlfriend, after about 2 months I started to discipline the dog for peeing and pooping in the house. Discipling how??? He was told no for barking. For all barking? or excessive barking? If he's alerting you to goings on and protecting his home, he should be praised not punished. He has learned that he is not allowed upstairs by himself. Etc. Her roommate moved out and we started to make very serious accomplishments towards his behavior. We still cannot have people over to the house, because his erratic behavior is so embarrassing. But we did make headway on other misbehavior. That being said, here's where the story takes a turn.

I moved into the house about 2 weeks ago, and since then, Bailey has regressed at an amazing rate, while also developing new habits. Why do you think that is??? Now, as soon as my girlfriend leaves the house, his separation anxiety is tremendous. He will literally sit and tremble while staring at me. Sounds like he's afraid of you! He has actually gone into seizures during one of these episodes. He also will not go to the bathroom outside. He just runs around and stares at me. He's probably afraid to go infront of you because he's been punished by you for going potty. As soon as we enter the house and I turn my back, he will pee and poop. Again, afraid to go infront of you so goes when you aren't looking. But this behaviour shows you he has the ability to control his bowels and bladder if you train him in a positive way. When anyone comes in the house, its like a jail break. If he can't make it to the door, he is trying to climb up the person's leg whose entering the house. So, anyone comes into the house and he clings to them to rescue him from you..and yet you don't see what the problem is? Lastly, he now whines at the edge of the bed multiple times during the night. When we awake, he is just staring at us. If we take him outside, he doesn't do his business. Already covered this.... This is happening multiple times a night. I can't understand why this is happening.Really? Is it because I am a dominate male who will correct his bad behavior? You feel the need to exert your dominance over a 4lb dog? Will you feel the same necessity to dominate a 7lb human infant?....scary... Have I literally scared him into hating me? It definately sounds that way based on the information you've provided. While I am not proud of it, I will admit, I have lost my temper with him on more than a handful of occasions. On this little 4lb dog, who through no fault of his own has been raised this way for years, but you expect a miraculous change in a matter of weeks?

I grew up with very obedient and smart dogs, mostly German Shepherds. I am at a complete loss on where to go from here and I am seriously starting to doubt this relationship can last while the dog is in the picture. My hatred and frustration with this dog is leading to some very serious problems. You have hatred towards an innocent lil dog? Any advice anyone could give, I would greatly appreciate it.

I'm at a loss here. My first reaction is ...is this a joke? Some sort of spam post to get a rise out of YT members??? Based on the information you've provided it seems fairly clear what the problem is.

The question is are you willing to control your anger and put the effort required into building a positive relationship with this dog and training him using positive reinforcement instead of punishment & fear?

[jencar98]

My advice would be for you to move out and stay away from Bailey. Let the gf start over with training, hopefully poor little Bailey hasn't been too scarred for life and with kind, positive reinforcement can be successfully trained.

[QuickSilver]

Everything else aside, it's very common for dogs to regress when they move or people move in and out. A roommate moving out and you moving in is an enormous change in this dog's little life, even if you two had a great relationship. Please be patient. You are the human, and he is a 4lb dog. It is really up to you to be the bigger man (literally).


And YES, seizures are not bad behavior! That could indicate a serious medical problem, which could also affect bladder control, etc. Get him to the vet ASAP.

[QuickSilver]

You may be interested in the animal trainer's mantra: "It is never the animal's fault." If an animal "misbehaves", you either train it to do what you want, or if that's not possible, control its environment so that the behavior can't happen.

If people who train killer whales, gorillas, tarantulas, and wolves accept this, perhaps you can soften your attitude towards this little guy.

[horsnaround]

If he is that scared of you. How have you been punishing? Walk away he is just a little one. And if you can not please rehome him. At this point he is probably as confused as you are... And I agree he needs to see a vet for the seizures...

[Buster Brown]

I wonder what your girlfriend feels about this? First she does not accept the responsibility to take care of and to train her dog properly. Now you have moved in and are training and disciplining the dog, and you admittedly do not like the dog. Is anyone taking this dog for long walks, playing with, interacting with and showing love and compassion? I feel your girlfriend has put her dog and you in a difficult situation. I feel for the dog as it sounds like your training methods are heavy handed and now the dog has anxiety issues. I would recommend a vet visit to rule out health issues especially because of the seizures and a hiring a positive reinforcement trainer to come to the house to TEACH YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND THE PROPER WAY TO TRAIN THE DOG. Do you respond positively at work if your boss reprimands and demeans you or do you react better if he corrects you in a positive way and shows you a better way do it and when you do it correctly praises you?
Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.
PS IT is time for your girlfriend to grow up and do what is right for the living being she has brought into her life. If you ever have kids will she shirk that responsibility too?

[roseylovestosho]

Just take the dog to a rescue and be done with it, although I'm not sure what you'll hit next once your punching bag is out of the house.

[ladyjane]

OP: did you used to live in Illinois? You seem so very familiar to me.

[Ellie May]

If a little dog can ruin a relationship so badly (that is, if you don't want to be with her enough to calmly and gently help her train her dog without feeling like it's the end of the world), then why not just move...

The dog is scared of you. You have "trained" it using intimidation. Of course it's not going to want to be around you. Imagine somebody 40 times your size "disciplining" you in the way you do the dog. Yorkies are not like large breed dogs (and even if they were, training this way is still unacceptable). Hire a trainer and have them help your girlfriend through this.

Seizures are related to a medical issue. This dog should go to the vet immediately.

[TeacupLove]

Originally Posted by roseylovestosho

Just take the dog to a rescue and be done with it, although I'm not sure what you'll hit next once your punching bag is out of the house.

First of all I want to commend you for taking the inititave to join a forum and look for help! Secondly, I want to apologize for people attacking you like the indivdual I decided to quote. Some of the users on here are pretty full of themselves and would rather attack people instead of help out. Judgmental people...IGNORE them

That being said, there are others on here that have given you great advice, especially letting you know that Yorkies react very differently than German Shepherds. This little guy sounds like he is quite the handful I'm sure he has a great personality, and that with positive reinforcement he with start to thrive. If you and your girlfriend are willing to put in the time and effort (which I feel that you are seeing as how you are looking for help) then I definitely suggest getting a trainer who is used to working with small dogs. I know this can be expensive, but I promise that in the end it will be worth it. You can look in the training threads here to help you out too..Lots of treat training is helpful.

As far as losing your patience with the pup I get it. Mine has quite the strong will and I love him to death he is my child but wow can he make me angry!!! The things/people that we love the most have the abilitiy to push our buttons more than those we could care less about. I want to wish you the best of luck I hope that I could offer a little encouragement and a little advice that will help. Good luck with Bailey!

[Taryn0405]

[QUOTE=TeacupLove;3686017]First of all I want to commend you for taking the inititave to join a forum and look for help! Secondly, I want to apologize for people attacking you like the indivdual I decided to quote. Some of the users on here are pretty full of themselves and would rather attack people instead of help out. Judgmental people...IGNORE them
[QUOTE=TeacupLove;3686017]

How is it being judgemental when the OP states that a 4lb pup is ruining a relationship and the dog literally has a heartattack when it's Mom leaves?

It's not being judgemental, he asked for opinions, and to be honest, his story sounds like many that I hear when I look at dogs who have been dropped off by rescues.

And with regards to full of themselves, their best interests is for the dogs. How is that being full on oneself?

By the way, OP and previous poster, there's no such thing as a teacup...Sorry didn't mean to sound so full of myself.

[RustysMom]

Orignal Poster, there comes times when a Yorkie is not working out, and this seems to be one of those times. I know full well how stubborn they can be, especially 7 year olds...they do get grumpy! It may be best to surrender him to a rescue and we at NC Yorkie Rescue would be glad to take Bailey.
My son lives in Charlotte also and has 4 year old Yorkie Hugo, who is his baby. I would be happy to pick up Bailey and I can assure you he will be well taken care of by experienced Yorkie people who love the breed, meet other Yorkies, be vetted if need be and undergo training.
This would be a better situation for Bailey and for you too.

You can evaluate us here:

NCYorkieRescue.org

Or private message me here at Yorkie Talk

Thanks!