PLEASE HELP!!!!! Misbehavior leading to broken relationship!!!

[BabyGirl Rosie]

Originally Posted by iamfrodo

Boy you guys are merciless. I sure wouldnt want to post a problem if I had one. The poor guy came for help and no he doesnt sound perfect but whoever is please feel free to cast the first stone. it shouldnt be ok to mistreat dogs or people.

I am going to be very blunt here. It is not merciless, it is called experience with this breed. This is what I think, if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen. Here is the deal. He posted on a forum. And he posted on a forum of Yorkie lovers. A forum has a variety of people on it with different opinions. If you don't want to hear peoples opinions, then you don't need to post your problem on the forum. We can post what the OP's want to hear but now would that really be helping the problem? No one on here claims to have all the answers. They are simply stating their opinions based on their previous experience.

[BabyGirl Rosie]

[/QUOTE]

You are being judgemental when you are saying things such as you dont know what he is going to use for a punching bag next when the pup is out of the house...really?? He never said anything about hitting the dog you just jumped to that conclusion = Judgemental.

And yes, I know there is no such thing as a teacup I had to make up a name for this forum and my yorkie is on the smaller side so I picked TeacupLove. But thanks for being so smart and pointing that out to me..You full of yourself? Never?

One last thing...He didn't ask for people's opinions he is asking for advice on how to handle training the pup better...he is actually looking for help so instead of calling the guy an abuser actually give some advice, and if you don't have any then just keep your opinions to yourself.[/QUOTE]

Advice on a forum is going to be based on their experience and their opinions. There is no way around getting opinions when you are posting on a forum.

[ladyjane]

Originally Posted by TeacupLove

One last thing...He didn't ask for people's opinions he is asking for advice on how to handle training the pup better...he is actually looking for help so instead of calling the guy an abuser actually give some advice, and if you don't have any then just keep your opinions to yourself.

He needs help alright, but it has nothing to do with the dog imho. I am not into giving any advice on this forum but that which will help a dog. What I think will help this pup is for the OP to get out of it's life.

So, there you have it....MY opinion. I believe others have stated theirs....so you are saying that only your opinion is correct and others should not comment? Not going to happen, so perhaps if it bothers you so much, you can use the ignore feature.

[BabyGirl Rosie]

And there is a lady who's advice and opinion I value. Her experience with this breed is more than you can ever understand. She wants what is best for the pup. Period.

[yorkiemini]

I really think we need to hear from Bailey's Mom.
Where is she in this picture?
Does she recognize how stressed her furbaby is?

[TeacupLove]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

He needs help alright, but it has nothing to do with the dog imho. I am not into giving any advice on this forum but that which will help a dog. What I think will help this pup is for the OP to get out of it's life.

So, there you have it....MY opinion. I believe others have stated theirs....so you are saying that only your opinion is correct and others should not comment? Not going to happen, so perhaps if it bothers you so much, you can use the ignore feature.

I am definitely not saying that my opinion is the only correct one and others should not comment. There are people on here with tons of experience and have helpful advice. And I would only encourage advice on here which is going to help a dog. But what I am saying is that those who are basically going to name call should keep it to themselves...If you have something useful to say then say it.. but if someone is just going to sit there and call him and abuser and such, well, it's just not useful at all. That's what I am saying.

It makes it a lot harder for people to post on here and ask for advice when there are those that just sit there and attack. I feel for the pup, it's not Bailey's fault that he has been brought up with no training. But I think the guy posting is not used to the breed and realizes what he is doing is not helping and is trying to get help from people who do have experience. I think that shows that he does have a heart, and people who come here and basically attack him are, in reality, not helping Bailey out at all. And that's where I have a problem, they are not helping the pup out at all by sitting behind their computers and calling the guy an abuser..what good is that actually doing?? How is that going to make Bailey's life better? That is my point.

[ladyjane]

Originally Posted by TeacupLove

I am definitely not saying that my opinion is the only correct one and others should not comment. There are people on here with tons of experience and have helpful advice. And I would only encourage advice on here which is going to help a dog. But what I am saying is that those who are basically going to name call should keep it to themselves...If you have something useful to say then say it.. but if someone is just going to sit there and call him and abuser and such, well, it's just not useful at all. That's what I am saying.

It makes it a lot harder for people to post on here and ask for advice when there are those that just sit there and attack. I feel for the pup, it's not Bailey's fault that he has been brought up with no training. But I think the guy posting is not used to the breed and realizes what he is doing is not helping and is trying to get help from people who do have experience. I think that shows that he does have a heart, and people who come here and basically attack him are, in reality, not helping Bailey out at all. And that's where I have a problem, they are not helping the pup out at all by sitting behind their computers and calling the guy an abuser..what good is that actually doing?? How is that going to make Bailey's life better? That is my point.

What do you think people should do? Lie and tell him he is doing a great job? Sorry, but enabling him is not going to help Bailey. If there is a Bailey, this guy needs help to deal with his own feelings.

Honestly, I believe we are getting our strings yanked yet again....but in case not, I have responded to the guy in the way I feel appropriate.

[AprilLove]

This sounds so familiar......

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/gen...need-help.html

[gemy]

Op the link that AprilLove posted above would be a very good thread for you to review.

It contains within it many replies of good advice; as well as lots of opinions about this that and the other thing.

I too am very supportive of positive re-inforcement training, and yet, there are some dogs, that might require sterner methods, when the behaviour is very dangerous to themself or to the public and other methods applied consistently over a long period have not worked!. Those dogs are very few and far between.

I have never had a dog cower in fear that I have raised from a pup, and I do have one very large dog, with a very large dominant and stubborn personality, that did require some harsher discipline methods over a short period of time. That how-ever was done under a professional trainer's instructions and under his/her's supervision. This dog is now a top obedience dog, and has never/ever cowered in fear of me,despite his appropriate discipline.

Quite frankly toy breeds and Yorkies rarely need harsher discipline methods. And for them harsher means a sterner voice of discipline, maybe with a sharper sound of clapping. I personally have a barker, and we do many different interruptive methods to calm his barking; but if I let his barking go on for too long before intervention it winds him up even more and he is on one long barking jag. The "harshest" interruptive method I have used is a quick firm tap on his shoulder which snaps him out of his reverie of barking. Then he is removed from the window, and if he is silent for 10-15 seconds one lovely cheese treat is his! Cheese is his highest value treat. A close tie to playing fetch.

Training your dog is never over; it should last the life of your dog. When you start to train and to continue to train over the years, it is a bit like learning how to dance with a partner. In the beginning you stumble, you go right/they go left, you are too fast, they are too slow. With persistence, practice, and love and humour, one day you might find the beauty and fun of having a happy/loving and obedient dog.

[capt_noonie]

Originally Posted by TeacupLove

I am definitely not saying that my opinion is the only correct one and others should not comment. There are people on here with tons of experience and have helpful advice. And I would only encourage advice on here which is going to help a dog. But what I am saying is that those who are basically going to name call should keep it to themselves...If you have something useful to say then say it.. but if someone is just going to sit there and call him and abuser and such, well, it's just not useful at all. That's what I am saying.

It makes it a lot harder for people to post on here and ask for advice when there are those that just sit there and attack. I feel for the pup, it's not Bailey's fault that he has been brought up with no training. But I think the guy posting is not used to the breed and realizes what he is doing is not helping and is trying to get help from people who do have experience. I think that shows that he does have a heart, and people who come here and basically attack him are, in reality, not helping Bailey out at all. And that's where I have a problem, they are not helping the pup out at all by sitting behind their computers and calling the guy an abuser..what good is that actually doing?? How is that going to make Bailey's life better? That is my point.

Been a member here for over a year, with only 16 posts, and you come on here to scold us.

[maci_mace]

I didn't bother to read all the comments as I know a lot of people jumped to the conclusion that you were abusing the dog because he is terrified of you. I fostered small dogs and bigs dogs, and honestly fear happens for a lot of reasons... this li'l dog obviously has had poor socialization and big lack of training. And seeing as how he is a momma's boy he probably is much more comfortable in the presence of women.
So when you moved into the home right after the other roommate moved out he was probably very frightened to have you there all day.

I have seen a lot of cases like this, including Maci and my last foster a pitbull. The first night my husband came home from work the pitty seriously freaked out, she pinned my husband to the front door with snarling and barking and as soon as he moved she ran into the kitchen and pee'd herself... my husband didn't do a THING to her, she had been raised by a family of 4-5 women and never introduced to men and had been tied to a truck all summer to be a guard dog... so it took a lot of work for her to accept my husband, and she did! And he and her really had a special bond, but is took a long while!

With Maci the same thing happened, she was raised by 3 women, my husband came home and she ran at him barking I picked her up, let her sniff my husband, and put her down... she ran to the corner where her pee pad was and just cowered there. Again, FOR NO REASON at least by no reason/fault of my husband. My husband tried all night to get her to come to him and sleep with him, and she just wouldn't she stayed on her pee pad. So I picked her up, plopped her between the husband and I and her talked to her and petted her and she calmed down a lot even took a treat from him!

If you ignore the blames of abuse there is actually a lot of great advice here! Also, if you go the behaviour and training section MORE great stuff there. You may be using too harsh of a "no" with the dog, and make sure you use little treats as rewards for going potty outside or for not barking. Have you guys considering pee pads? If you have for whatever reason hit the dog, then 1. don't ever do it again and 2. it's going to take a long time for him to forget that.

Since he is used to peeing/pooping in the house you could try peepad training, that could really work wonders! He still gets to pee/poo inside but it has be be in his "spot" on a pee pad.

And last resort, if you and your g/f feel the dog can not stay with you, then find a reputable rescue lots are listed here on YT. Mind you, unless you guys are getting married and know you love eachother and will stay together forever... might be best to just leave. Your gf could end up with resentment if she rehomes her dog because of you.

[Rhetts_mama]

The fact that you have known this person and her dog for several years and the dog is exhibiting the behaviors only AFTER you have moved in together it's reasonable to jump to the conclusion that something you are doing is causing this fear behavior. If you can't handle the training, then it's time to call in a professional who can.

I've seen a lot of posters complain that bigger dogs are smarter and yorkies are impossible to train. Terriers are incredibly intelligent. They don't respond to the same training methods that other breeds do BECAUSE of that intelligence. It's time to change your thinking and your tactics. You are being outsmarted by a dog.

On a related note, I would never, ever remain in a relationship with someone who said they hated my dog any more than I would stay in one with someone who hated my kid. We are a package deal and there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

[chachi]

Gosh the song and dance on this thread is so familiar. This is a public forum and everyone can post and they dont have to be in support of what the Op does. Yes some people do need help but some just need a swift kick in the butt and you can be certain if they need it they will get it here

[TeacupLove]

Originally Posted by capt_noonie

Been a member here for over a year, with only 16 posts, and you come on here to scold us.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize I needed to have so many posts before I am able to discern right and wrong...I thought that was something we are all taught growing up (be polite, no name calling, help when you are needed, keep quite when you don't have anything useful to say) but apparently you get that from being on a forum for over a year and posting multiple times...Silly me

[Rhetts_mama]

Originally Posted by TeacupLove

I'm sorry, I didn't realize I needed to have so many posts before I am able to discern right and wrong...I thought that was something we are all taught growing up (be polite, no name calling, help when you are needed, keep quite when you don't have anything useful to say) but apparently you get that from being on a forum for over a year and posting multiple times...Silly me

I fail to see how chastising people for having their own opinion and calling them judgmental is offering anything useful to the thread. Isn't calling someone judgmental the same as being judgmental? Just asking...

I'd better stop posting now before the polite police comes and writes me another ticket.