no show

[tinav]

Hi guys.....this is a perfect forum for this subject, lol:

Does anyone else have a friend that's ALWAYS a no show. Or makes plans too difficult to keep . Although not that important to me it's becoming more noticeable.

This person is one of my clients wo I see once a year (which is the way it should be). She always mentions getting together....sooo not seeing any reason to say Oh-no! lol, I say Oh-sure!, lol.

Well recently we ran into each other when I went for a checkup at the hospital (she works there) it is the only one in town and my doctor has an office there. Not that I would have any reason anyway to try to avoid her by not going there. When we ran into each other the topic of getting together (prompted by her) at a local (in town) Houlihans for lunch came up. knowing her habits I said Oh-sure give me a call when you can go.

Well I called her to mention that there was a doggie ice cream social at an organization that we both attend events. I left a voice mail to let her know that i was going....she called me back and said the she is not allowed to bring her dog to those events (as mandated by the org cause the dog is in social behavior class) Ok makes good sense.....then the lunch thing came back up and she wanted to firm up plans. Which we did for today (sunday)well.....I just checked my voice mail and of course she cancelled last night at 10:30 due to illness.

Too funny.....but it just seems that and we do make some sort of plan every year which don't materialize. I had surgery in May and she was very supportive. I was in and out the same day but she came up to see me, etc. So I wanted to thank her by treating her to lunch and make up for plans that got screwed up. Such as planing to go see a concert then last minute someone says they want to take a limo which is going to coast us an additional $120 bucks more to go 7 miles. Or that she has to rush in to the city and right back out cause her mother is not well but she really wants to get out of the house.????? Kinda nutty? I think so.

Anyone else have one of these?

Tina

[BubblPopElectrc]

I had a few friends like that in high school.

Let's just say I don't have contact with them anymore. That kind of stuff gets old really really REALLY quick.

[jp4m2]

The next time she mentions a get together tell her, let's not and say we did.... .

[Yorkiekids]

Seems it's the only kind of friends I have.

[Shadow]

Good one. Friends like that can be a pain in the butt! I have a friend who use to do this stuff frequently. She would say oh lets have a barbecue Saturday,well you would make all the plans and food ,she would not show. It got really old fast.

Originally Posted by jp4m2

The next time she mentions a get together tell her, let's not and say we did.... .

[tinav]

I think from now on I will tell her I'll give her a call when I have the time. And of course never call. What else can I do...it's not honest but I really think that she could have made the effort and that her actions are uncalled for. She is a client so I really can't be too honest on a personal level. but weird...whew!


Thanks for the feedback.

Tina

[Tillys_mom]

I would make plans with my friend and she would come over and we would say hey lets go to the mall tomorrow. Well her phone would ring and someone else would say, "hey, do you want to go see a movie tomorrow?" She would always act as if she forgot our plans and would make other plans, then once she got off the phone she would remember. One time I remember it was Wal-Mart we were going to and I was very pregnant at the time and I asked if she wanted to help me get a few things. Well someone called her cell phone and asked if she wanted to go shopping with her and she said "sure we can go shopping! I have plans with another friend but not till later! I'll go!" Then she would ask me once she got off the phone if I would call her when I wanted to go after a time was discussed. I just said, "I can go by myself. It's not like I am going to get lost in Wal-Mart." She just replied, "That's sad if you do." She never did call me back and I did end up going by myself. Then she whines because I never want to make plans with her.

[Higgin's Mom]

My husband and I were both widowed and met on Match.com in 1998. He is still close to his wife's younger sister, which is fine with me. EXCEPT, she cancels any plans 98% of the time, and usually with only an hour's notice! She lived about 65 miles from us, so we always called before starting out, even if the plans had been confirmed. We would often invite them for dinner, and I would go to a good deal of trouble to cook just the right things -- she is diabetic and very picky. And then, of course, she would cancel, saying she wasn't feeling well. When I got tired of throwing out food/eating leftovers, we decided to just invite them to eat OUT with us, so cancellations wouldn't be such a problem.

She also INSISTED on celebrating Christmas with LOTS of gifts. We don't have the budget for this, nor do we do this kind of thing for our own kids/grandkids. I did not know her, so it was difficult to pick stuff out for her. Our house was FILLED with junk she had gifted DH and her sister with over the years. One Christmas, she cancelled getting together so many times that we did not exchange the gifts until JUNE!!!! And one of the gifts she gave me was a gift I had given her several years previously!! We gently told them that since we were going to live in an RV and travel full-time, we thought it would be good to discontinue the Christmas "giving." She acted VERY hurt. Oh well.

Since we have moved to Florida and she lives in Maine, we aren't faced with the problem at the moment. When we go to visit Maine, we will ask them out to lunch, and if they show, great, if they don't, we'll keep on truckin' down the road..............

Oh yeah.....then there's my brother.....love him dearly, but the man will be late to his own funeral!!!! At least an hour late, as he is to EVERYTHING else!!! What the whole family does is tell him that "dinner is at 5", and he better show up on time. Then we PLAN for dinner for 6. He's right on time at 6. However, I think people who are late are just plain rude. My time is as valuable as theirs as far as I'm concerned!

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Ponyup]

I have a lady i work with that i tried to be friends with. We get along really well & i love to talk to her, but she's wanna of those people that just say what they think others want to hear. I've tried to make plans with her repeatedly & she always cancelled at the last minute.

Just this weekend she did it again & i'm so done. I wanted to get a new tattoo & knew she did too so I asked when she was available. She said her husband was gonna be gone last sat. so she'd be free. I called & made an appointment at a tattoo parlor & made a deposit to hold our spot on my credit card ($40). We were to going to a place 2.5 hours away (recommended by my cousin) & hang out & make a girl's day out of it. She canceled on me on Thurs. I of course couldn't get the deposit back & my cousin was very upset that I wasn't coming, but i wasn't going to go that far alone. I did get her to pay me the deposit, but i refuse to make plans with her ever again.

[tinav]

yes...some of these people can be nuts. i think that kind of cancelling plans is so rude even if some one has a condition. i can see on occasion but more than once is more than enough. the person that i wrote about actually gave up $100 to cancel the plans.

i actually think in her case her mother (who is elderly and prob has some kind of condition) runs her life which i think is VERY sad. and i think she is so used to it that she just feels comfortable staying in her comfort zone. but if that is the case stay there alone and don't try to involve others in your situation.

i really will just yes her to death from now on.

tina

[celstu1]

I have a friend who is cronically late! Its sooooo aggravating! She'll tell me she'll be here at 5 say, and she'll call me at 515 and say she is RIGHT down the street, she's getting gas and will be right here and at 615 she might show up!!! Its always one reason or another! LOL Ive gotten used to it at this point but it was soooo annoying at first!

[veguroev]

I used to have a "friend" like that. She used to call me to get together we would agree in certain day then she wouldn't even have the decency to call me to let me know that she wasn't going or she couldn't go. Days later if a ran into her she would act like nothing happened and not even an apology or an excuse, she acted like we didn't even had plans together!!! She happens to live a few houses away from my house too, so it wasn't like she couldn't stop by and let me know what was going on. After she stood me up a few times I said to myself forget it! I'm not going to waste my time with someone like this. She calls me and leaves me messages. I guess she hasn't gotten it yet that I don't like tho hang around people like her. I don't call her back or answer her calls.

[tinav]

good for you.....she is down right nasty. i think some people get off on not showing up time and time again. these posts are a lesson in themselves

tina

[Catrina]

yes.. HAD friends like that..

[Too Cute Teddy]

I'm from NJ too - we must have the same friend!