Tired of the excuses - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Graleyne · 10-19-2007, 04:15 AM

I'm thinking of turning my ex in for failure to pay child support. I am tired of it. I have been very nice and understanding, but I have had enough now. It is one excuse after another. His latest is that he hasn't worked this past month because his girlfriend has been sick and he didn't want to leave her alone.

He has gone an entire year at a time without paying me a dime. There have been many many months were he has only sent me partial payments - half or less than half.

He is supposed to have her on his insurance - he doesn't.
He is supposed to pay for half of any of her medical expenses - the last time she visited him he had to take her to the dr and he had the bill sent to me. He didn't pay a dime of it. He has never paid ANYTHING on any of her medical or dental.

Then he has the nerve to want to talk to me about how he supposed to be able to claim her on income tax every other year (I haven't seen that in the divorce agreement, but I wll re-read and make absolute sure). I told him that when he stepped up and did everything HE was supposed to do, we'd talk about that.

It isn't like he has to send me some ungodly amount. I mean we are talking about $400 a month. That's it.

What makes me mad is that I know if I turn him in then he will either a) not work at all, or b) work and get paid under the table so he doesn't have to turn any of it in.

I called the other night and asked if he was going to send the other half of this months payment before the end of the month. I really do need it this month. All the doctor visits and meds have put us in a tight spot. I got the same excuse, "Well, as soon as I get back to work I'll send it. The job I thought I had fell through and A (his g/f) is supposed to get some test results back and she didn't want to be here by herself so I don't want to leave her...." yadda yadda yadda.

I hate him. I really do. I'm trying very hard not to, because he is L's father and without him I wouldn't have my precious L, but I just really think he's a jerk and a half and I can't stand him.

Superstarkba · 10-19-2007, 04:34 AM

Good luck with that. My mom went through that with my dad and it took 5 years for him to pay the $17,000 that he owed!!! So the final outcome to get him to pay was she took a warrent out for him, and that worked.

patty58 · 10-19-2007, 04:41 AM

Oh my gosh, I feel your pain...literally. My daughter is in the same boat. She and her girls live with us while she is trying to finish schoo. Me has not paid her anything for 4 years. Every time the state finds him so they can garnish his wages, he quits that job. Texas brags about putting away the deadbeat dads but all it is is talk. He has been turned into the attorney generals office and even been arrested for a dui but did they do anything....NO. Just like yours he doesn't pay insurance....we do....he doesn't pay drs....we do.....he doesn't buy clothes.....we do. We are retired and still paying to raise kids while my daughter goes to nursing school. Deadbeat dads make me wanna puke

Ladylavender · 10-19-2007, 04:48 AM

I agree, I had a friend who had to get a court order for her ex's arrest due to failure to comply with the child support court ordered papers.

You can however, also get an order to have his wages garnished, so if he works anywhere, anytime legitimately, you will get paid thru the courts (like clockwork) and not have to rely on him to give you the money. 2ndly, you need to file papers for his non-compliance, he will go to court the judge will order him to pay, if he fails to do so, then he can be arrested. Of the judge can give him so many days or months to pay you back what he owes. (and you do need to go to court with that figure. You need to figure up all the back child support he has not paid since the divorce became final)

ChestersMom · 10-19-2007, 04:54 AM

Turn him in ASAP. Your child is doing without because of his immaturity. Believe me, you're doing it for her, not yourself.

Yorkiekids · 10-19-2007, 04:59 AM

You need to go back to court and his him court ordered to pay through Child Probabation. This way if he's late, or doesn't have a job they'll either put him in jail, or make him get a job. Men drive me crazy.

Graleyne · 10-19-2007, 05:07 AM

I am going to turn him in. I am tired of being nice. He doesn't deserve my being nice to him. If he goes to jail so what. He deserves it.

L doesn't deserve to have to do without. DH doesn't deserve to bust his butt working 2 jobs to take care of a kid that isn't even his (which he GLADLY does and never, ever complains - he considers L his own and always has). I don't deserve all the stress and constant worry.

Superstarkba · 10-19-2007, 05:14 AM

Go for it!!! Sounds like you have a wonderful hubby!!!!

Graleyne · 10-19-2007, 05:19 AM

What makes me even madder is that I would be willing to forgive and forget the past child support he owes if he would start paying me every month.

I have even tried to work with him and told him, "Look, if you can send the entire payment at once I understand. If you need to break it up and send $200 every 2 weeks, or $100 a week so you don't have $400 coming out at one time, I am OK with that."

I am just tired of bending over backwards and he just a lazy, self-centered SOB who won't do a damn thing.

Miley's mom · 10-19-2007, 05:25 AM

your daughter goes first, period......it looks like for your ex, he is putting the g-f first.
And don't you feel bad and look back, he needs to learn that his daughter should be priority at all times.
Good Luck!

lkyorkies · 10-19-2007, 05:42 AM

I understand completely what you are going through...My son's father owes me about 50,000 and I know I will never see it. He works for him self he owns his own landscaping bussiness, I have heard so many times there is no way to garnish his wages and he has to pay taxes at the end of the year so I never saw a tax check. My son is now grown so at this point I have given up hope that I will ever see a dime of any of the money. When he was little I worked three jobs to make ends meet (two of them I could take him with me). But, then I got very lucky and met my Best Friend and married him, he has been here since my son was five and has helped with everything, broken bones, first car, college...he loves him more than his father ever could.
Do not be nice get what you can raising children is expensive and the dead beats need to help. It should not be just one parents responsibilty. Good luck.

Graleyne · 10-19-2007, 06:14 AM

I just filled out all the information I could on line with child support services. All I have left to do is take them a copy of the divorce, L's birth certificate, and social security card - I have 10 days to get that to them.

I spoke with someone on the phone (finally!) and they were VERY nice (to me anyway), but seemed like they don't take any crap from non-paying dead beat dads. I thought they had to be $5000.00 or a year or more behind before they could do anything, but NOPE. They only have to be 30 days behind.

The only thing that may make it take a little longer is that he lives in a different state. However I was able to provide them with an address and phone numbers so that will help speed things up.

heatherjean8737 · 10-19-2007, 06:27 AM

So sorry to hear you are going through this. Sounds like my dad while I was growing up. I just don't understand how they can't get in trouble by this. Hope everything goes well with the child support.

Graleyne · 10-19-2007, 07:14 AM

His excuse for not working is that his g/f hasn't been feeling well and didn't want to be alone (for the past friggin' MONTH), and now he isn't working because she is supposed to get some results from a sonagram or something and she was afraid. Give me a damn break!

Just last year I had cervical cancer and a hysterectomy. I was alone when I got the news because we couldn't afford for Mike not to go to work because we had KIDS to take care of. Yes, he did take off when I had my surgery, but as soon as I come home he was back to work. I was ALONE from the day I got home from the hospital on because we couldn't AFFORD for Mike not to go to work - because we had KIDS to take care of.

His last excuse for not sending child support was that he wasn't working because he checked himself into a psyche ward because he needed to "get his head together and deal with some things".

Before that he couldn't send money or work because he had stomach ulcers.

There is ALWAYS a reason and ALWAYS an excuse. He disappeared for 7 years and claimed he didn't know where we were so he could contact us. That is yet another excuse because my grandmother has lived in the same house for over 20 years, so she has had the same address and she has never changed her phone number. He could have contacted her. He used to LIVE there so its not like he didn't know where it is.

I am just sick and tired of his excuses and bs. I really have had it. Normally I am the QUEEN of guilt. I feel guilty for things that aren't my fault, I've always had a problem with self-blame and guilt, but you know what, I don't feel guilty for this.

My only fear is now that he'll not work/get paid under the table and I won't get any money at all - ever. Not that I get it now, but I'm worried that this is going to piss him off and I'll be lucky to get a dime no matter what they do to him.

sweetr72 · 10-19-2007, 07:29 AM

Oh man I have soooooooo been in your shoes girl!! Now my ex has his wages garnished and most of the time my checks arrive on time...even his company cant get it right!!!! But sooner or later I do get a check...good luck!!

Dawn

10-19-2007, 04:15 AM	#1
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	Tired of the excuses I'm thinking of turning my ex in for failure to pay child support. I am tired of it. I have been very nice and understanding, but I have had enough now. It is one excuse after another. His latest is that he hasn't worked this past month because his girlfriend has been sick and he didn't want to leave her alone. He has gone an entire year at a time without paying me a dime. There have been many many months were he has only sent me partial payments - half or less than half. He is supposed to have her on his insurance - he doesn't. He is supposed to pay for half of any of her medical expenses - the last time she visited him he had to take her to the dr and he had the bill sent to me. He didn't pay a dime of it. He has never paid ANYTHING on any of her medical or dental. Then he has the nerve to want to talk to me about how he supposed to be able to claim her on income tax every other year (I haven't seen that in the divorce agreement, but I wll re-read and make absolute sure). I told him that when he stepped up and did everything HE was supposed to do, we'd talk about that. It isn't like he has to send me some ungodly amount. I mean we are talking about $400 a month. That's it. What makes me mad is that I know if I turn him in then he will either a) not work at all, or b) work and get paid under the table so he doesn't have to turn any of it in. I called the other night and asked if he was going to send the other half of this months payment before the end of the month. I really do need it this month. All the doctor visits and meds have put us in a tight spot. I got the same excuse, "Well, as soon as I get back to work I'll send it. The job I thought I had fell through and A (his g/f) is supposed to get some test results back and she didn't want to be here by herself so I don't want to leave her...." yadda yadda yadda. I hate him. I really do. I'm trying very hard not to, because he is L's father and without him I wouldn't have my precious L, but I just really think he's a jerk and a half and I can't stand him. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-19-2007, 04:48 AM	#4
Ladylavender YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Soddy Daisy, TN Posts: 733	I agree, I had a friend who had to get a court order for her ex's arrest due to failure to comply with the child support court ordered papers. You can however, also get an order to have his wages garnished, so if he works anywhere, anytime legitimately, you will get paid thru the courts (like clockwork) and not have to rely on him to give you the money. 2ndly, you need to file papers for his non-compliance, he will go to court the judge will order him to pay, if he fails to do so, then he can be arrested. Of the judge can give him so many days or months to pay you back what he owes. (and you do need to go to court with that figure. You need to figure up all the back child support he has not paid since the divorce became final) __________________ Sheila and Sweet Millie Sage and Jasmine Rose

10-19-2007, 04:59 AM	#6
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	You need to go back to court and his him court ordered to pay through Child Probabation. This way if he's late, or doesn't have a job they'll either put him in jail, or make him get a job. Men drive me crazy. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

10-19-2007, 05:07 AM	#7
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	I am going to turn him in. I am tired of being nice. He doesn't deserve my being nice to him. If he goes to jail so what. He deserves it. L doesn't deserve to have to do without. DH doesn't deserve to bust his butt working 2 jobs to take care of a kid that isn't even his (which he GLADLY does and never, ever complains - he considers L his own and always has). I don't deserve all the stress and constant worry. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-19-2007, 05:19 AM	#9
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	What makes me even madder is that I would be willing to forgive and forget the past child support he owes if he would start paying me every month. I have even tried to work with him and told him, "Look, if you can send the entire payment at once I understand. If you need to break it up and send $200 every 2 weeks, or $100 a week so you don't have $400 coming out at one time, I am OK with that." I am just tired of bending over backwards and he just a lazy, self-centered SOB who won't do a damn thing. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-19-2007, 04:34 AM	#2
Superstarkba Aubrey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 9,369	Good luck with that. My mom went through that with my dad and it took 5 years for him to pay the $17,000 that he owed!!! So the final outcome to get him to pay was she took a warrent out for him, and that worked.

10-19-2007, 04:41 AM	#3
patty58 Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: texas Posts: 5,272	Oh my gosh, I feel your pain...literally. My daughter is in the same boat. She and her girls live with us while she is trying to finish schoo. Me has not paid her anything for 4 years. Every time the state finds him so they can garnish his wages, he quits that job. Texas brags about putting away the deadbeat dads but all it is is talk. He has been turned into the attorney generals office and even been arrested for a dui but did they do anything....NO. Just like yours he doesn't pay insurance....we do....he doesn't pay drs....we do.....he doesn't buy clothes.....we do. We are retired and still paying to raise kids while my daughter goes to nursing school. Deadbeat dads make me wanna puke

10-19-2007, 04:54 AM	#5
ChestersMom YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Bacliff, TX Posts: 947	Turn him in ASAP. Your child is doing without because of his immaturity. Believe me, you're doing it for her, not yourself.

10-19-2007, 05:14 AM	#8
Superstarkba Aubrey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 9,369	Go for it!!! Sounds like you have a wonderful hubby!!!!

10-19-2007, 05:25 AM	#10
Miley's mom Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Antonio, TX Posts: 647	Do what ever you have to do...... your daughter goes first, period......it looks like for your ex, he is putting the g-f first. And don't you feel bad and look back, he needs to learn that his daughter should be priority at all times. Good Luck!

10-19-2007, 05:42 AM	#11
lkyorkies Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Indiana Posts: 176	I understand completely what you are going through...My son's father owes me about 50,000 and I know I will never see it. He works for him self he owns his own landscaping bussiness, I have heard so many times there is no way to garnish his wages and he has to pay taxes at the end of the year so I never saw a tax check. My son is now grown so at this point I have given up hope that I will ever see a dime of any of the money. When he was little I worked three jobs to make ends meet (two of them I could take him with me). But, then I got very lucky and met my Best Friend and married him, he has been here since my son was five and has helped with everything, broken bones, first car, college...he loves him more than his father ever could. Do not be nice get what you can raising children is expensive and the dead beats need to help. It should not be just one parents responsibilty. Good luck.

10-19-2007, 06:14 AM	#12
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	I just filled out all the information I could on line with child support services. All I have left to do is take them a copy of the divorce, L's birth certificate, and social security card - I have 10 days to get that to them. I spoke with someone on the phone (finally!) and they were VERY nice (to me anyway), but seemed like they don't take any crap from non-paying dead beat dads. I thought they had to be $5000.00 or a year or more behind before they could do anything, but NOPE. They only have to be 30 days behind. The only thing that may make it take a little longer is that he lives in a different state. However I was able to provide them with an address and phone numbers so that will help speed things up. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-19-2007, 06:27 AM	#13
heatherjean8737 My little furbutts Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Baytown, TX Posts: 1,692	So sorry to hear you are going through this. Sounds like my dad while I was growing up. I just don't understand how they can't get in trouble by this. Hope everything goes well with the child support. __________________ Heather, Benji & Bella

10-19-2007, 07:14 AM	#14
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	His excuse for not working is that his g/f hasn't been feeling well and didn't want to be alone (for the past friggin' MONTH), and now he isn't working because she is supposed to get some results from a sonagram or something and she was afraid. Give me a damn break! Just last year I had cervical cancer and a hysterectomy. I was alone when I got the news because we couldn't afford for Mike not to go to work because we had KIDS to take care of. Yes, he did take off when I had my surgery, but as soon as I come home he was back to work. I was ALONE from the day I got home from the hospital on because we couldn't AFFORD for Mike not to go to work - because we had KIDS to take care of. His last excuse for not sending child support was that he wasn't working because he checked himself into a psyche ward because he needed to "get his head together and deal with some things". Before that he couldn't send money or work because he had stomach ulcers. There is ALWAYS a reason and ALWAYS an excuse. He disappeared for 7 years and claimed he didn't know where we were so he could contact us. That is yet another excuse because my grandmother has lived in the same house for over 20 years, so she has had the same address and she has never changed her phone number. He could have contacted her. He used to LIVE there so its not like he didn't know where it is. I am just sick and tired of his excuses and bs. I really have had it. Normally I am the QUEEN of guilt. I feel guilty for things that aren't my fault, I've always had a problem with self-blame and guilt, but you know what, I don't feel guilty for this. My only fear is now that he'll not work/get paid under the table and I won't get any money at all - ever. Not that I get it now, but I'm worried that this is going to piss him off and I'll be lucky to get a dime no matter what they do to him. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

10-19-2007, 07:29 AM	#15
sweetr72 No Longer a Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 6,111	Oh man I have soooooooo been in your shoes girl!! Now my ex has his wages garnished and most of the time my checks arrive on time...even his company cant get it right!!!! But sooner or later I do get a check...good luck!! Dawn