The world is about to end

[crystalsmom]

Originally Posted by celstu1

Make sure she knows you are doing it but you are not always going to be a softy

[nvnvgirl]

Originally Posted by Graleyne

It just makes me so mad that she can't do anything she is supposed to do until I get mad and start yelling. Then she manages to accomplish everything she is supposed to do and more.

Some kids are just like that. I never did anything I was supposed to do unless my parents screamed at me finally to do or threatened to not let me go somewhere or do something (and when they finally said NO, it meant I'd pushed them too far and they MEANT NO!). I fnally got the message when I was put on restriction for a couple of weeks and not allowed to do ANYTHING except go to school and come directly home to do my homework...no television, no phone, no movies, no nuthin. Gave me plenty of time to think about my behavior....I figured out that if there was something I didn't want to do, I had to be ready to suffer the consequences, so it had better be worth it!

[Nikki+2]

Originally Posted by cheryl000

Well you have some great advice here so far. Let me give you some advice from a "bad kid who never does chores" well, at least according to my mom I was!

Let me start off by saying that I feel like I was punished WAY TOO harshly for not doing my chores. My mother decided not to take me on a trip to the Philippines while my 2 sisters went. My sisters got to meet my brother, my grandmother, my Uncle etc. I didn't get to go because I didn't do some chores. 10 years later my grandmother and uncle have passed away and I still have never met my half-brother. A punishment should fit the crime and I feel like I'm still being punished. My mother regrets all of this by the way.

Looking back the reason why I didn't do so many of the chores was that my mom always criticized every chore I did, she always went behind me and corrected it. I remember when I was 5 and I asked her if I could help fold clothes, then she said that I didn't fold them straight and that I wasn't fast enough. What is interesting is that when we were older I was the one that always wanted to surprise my parents with the house clean or with dinner, but only if they were gone so that I can clean in peace.

Anyways, the best thing to do is to keep encouraging kids to do their chores. Tell them that you appreciate what they do when they do it. Let them know why the chores need to be done and how much of a big help they are. Let them know that they need to learn how to do their own laundry because mommy isn't always going to be around.

I think that a good idea is to make the punishment fit the crime better. Make it something that will happen in real life. Have her start doing her own laundry. If she doesn't do it, then she doesn't get clean clothes! This is a REAL consequence to her actions.

Oh.. and please give her a hug and tell her thanks for being good today. Ask her what she thinks she can do so that you two have better days like today.

I think that is wonderful advise!

[mistyinca]

Definitely make her sweat it out. As the time approaches and you don't budge, she'll probably start getting really mad. Then at the last minute, you can be the nicest, bestest, most forgiving mom in the world. Then remind her, next time that happens, there won't be a last minute pardon.

Isn't this parenting thing the absolute hardest in the world?

[Sookie]

I wouldn't let her go. No means no and she'll never learn if you give in to her. I know, I'm mean, but I truly believe you have to stick to your word. Sorry, 'cause I know how hard that is.

[sabsab00]

Originally Posted by cheryl000

Well you have some great advice here so far. Let me give you some advice from a "bad kid who never does chores" well, at least according to my mom I was!

Let me start off by saying that I feel like I was punished WAY TOO harshly for not doing my chores. My mother decided not to take me on a trip to the Philippines while my 2 sisters went. My sisters got to meet my brother, my grandmother, my Uncle etc. I didn't get to go because I didn't do some chores. 10 years later my grandmother and uncle have passed away and I still have never met my half-brother. A punishment should fit the crime and I feel like I'm still being punished. My mother regrets all of this by the way.

Looking back the reason why I didn't do so many of the chores was that my mom always criticized every chore I did, she always went behind me and corrected it. I remember when I was 5 and I asked her if I could help fold clothes, then she said that I didn't fold them straight and that I wasn't fast enough. What is interesting is that when we were older I was the one that always wanted to surprise my parents with the house clean or with dinner, but only if they were gone so that I can clean in peace.

Anyways, the best thing to do is to keep encouraging kids to do their chores. Tell them that you appreciate what they do when they do it. Let them know why the chores need to be done and how much of a big help they are. Let them know that they need to learn how to do their own laundry because mommy isn't always going to be around.

I think that a good idea is to make the punishment fit the crime better. Make it something that will happen in real life. Have her start doing her own laundry. If she doesn't do it, then she doesn't get clean clothes! This is a REAL consequence to her actions.

Oh.. and please give her a hug and tell her thanks for being good today. Ask her what she thinks she can do so that you two have better days like today.

I absolutely agree. Me and my mother have the same "relationship" as yours. I have decided to take at as a learning experience for when I have children. Explaining WHY you are doing something or telling your children to do something is key. Sitting down and talking will settle alot of misunderstandings and control the situation. I know I have (and still do) always wished my mother and I could talk through things. That's just my advice....I hope everything works out for you!

[yougetthesmiles]

awww don't feel bad, the world is coming to a end at my house all the time. My 17 yr old sounds like your daughter, as soon as you take away the most important thing, they go on this cleaning ram page lol Gotta love kids!

[ChestersMom]

I guess most would call me a mean mom, but I wouldn't let her go. Pat Benetar had a song back in the '80's - A little too little too late. Trust me, if you nix the dance, you most likely will not go through this scenario again. Best of luck to you.

[For My Coby]

Originally Posted by ChestersMom

I guess most would call me a mean mom, but I wouldn't let her go. Pat Benetar had a song back in the '80's - A little too little too late. Trust me, if you nix the dance, you most likely will not go through this scenario again. Best of luck to you.

I don't disagree with the logic, but I would worry about the relationship with her daughter. I was VERY VERY strict as a mom to teens, but I also never sacrificed our relationships for obediance. Just be sure to keep a careful balance between the two.

[Graleyne]

We talked and she is going to the dance so she is happy. She is still cleaning like mad. I gave her a list and told her if I had to ask or remind her to do ONE THING on that list, then absolutely no dance. She is outside picking up doggie poop right now.

Right now I am the best mommy in the whole wide world - at least to my face, before she started picking up dog sh*t in the yard LOL.

[For My Coby]

Originally Posted by Graleyne

We talked and she is going to the dance so she is happy. She is still cleaning like mad. I gave her a list and told her if I had to ask or remind her to do ONE THING on that list, then absolutely no dance. She is outside picking up doggie poop right now.

Right now I am the best mommy in the whole wide world - at least to my face, before she started picking up dog sh*t in the yard LOL.

I think you did a great job. Made your point and preserved your relationship. Best of both worlds. Congrats!

[kriston]

Originally Posted by For My Coby

I think you did a great job. Made your point and preserved your relationship. Best of both worlds. Congrats!

ditto that!

[MyBabyPippa]

I am weak..so i too would let mine go..I would tell her that you want to make a deal with her. You would like for her to work on doing better around the house and you will work on doing better about not dishing out punishment when angry. That she still has to be punished cause she did wrong but u feel that making her miss the dance is too strong of a punishment. So therefore you have decided to let her go the dance but she will be grounded for two weeks after the dance. During that time she has a chance to prove she can be more responsible. That she has two choices here she can do her chores and be able to hve a life..or she can continue not doing them and miss out on all the fun things this world has to offer..that those are her choices..they won't be urs..urs would be for her to do her chores and be able to enjoying being a teen...